What's the etiquette here??

yeah i remember that...lads drinking down a few of those and then the expression on their faces when it hit coupled with the rush to the crapper...,the cleaning crew in the local threatened strike action if they didnt stop selling it..

I vaguely knew both of them, he lost the battle but won the war, happily married with a kid and a house, she's still a ****.

Lads, I encountered a textbook etiquette situation the other day at work.....and to be honest I'm not sure if I dealt with it correctly

If there had been a 24 emergency etiquette helpline I'd have called it by now.

Basically, I was in one of the traps, just finishing up (all good, no drama) and buckling my belt when a fella enters the bathroom at what sounded like high speed.

I braced for the inevitable clattering of the neighboring trap door and potential assault of at least four of my senses...but the fella was just going for a slash, albeit one that sounded like one of those Karcher yokes you'd clean the driveway with.

And then it happened.....I heard the loudest fart since my days on the school bus in rural Mayo in the late 90's.

I would classify somewhere on the ripper and/or rasper spectrum but with exaggerated tonal depth and length. It seemed to last for 5 minutes but in reality it was probably somewhere in the 10 seconds zone.

In fairness to the fella, I'd say it caught him off guard as much as me....to give the benefit of the doubt, I'd say he was attempting a low grade power effort but simply lost control of it.

So anyway I was left in a bit of a conundrum once the dust had settled so to speak....

Do I...

1) Wait it out and keep schtum in the trap until he exits ?

2) Leg it out the door like Usain Bolt and avoid any potential aftershocks and/or yer man spontaneously combusting at the urinal ?

3) Saunter out of the jacks and offer my heartfelt congratulations on what was frankly an epic if slightly disconcerting event?

In the end, I attempted to make a low key subtle exit (he was still wazzing away)....as I nipped towards the sink, our eyes met for a split second but I could see his deep shame even in that glimpse...like a dog that's come in the gate covered in cow shyte... a different fella might have owned the moment and taken pride in what he'd done but this guy is an accountant I think (which probably explains a lot)

I've doubted my actions in the 48 hours since the incident....on reflection there may have been no happy path out of that bathroom for either of us.

Would be interested to hear similar experiences or other learned wisdoms and observations.

Oh yeah....don't get me wrong....I would traditionally be a strong advocate of such activity...if it's some rando dude turbo farting in a pub jacks or whatever then there's no issue whatsoever.....

But the location of this incident (ie. work) adds a layer of complexity to the whole situation imho.

It's certainly not a matter for HR but this is potentially a grey area on the social awkwardness scale

First off, you need to know that you did nothing wrong. The other lad, we can only assume, over-calculated when, subjecting you to that aural assault, he let one go. The acoustics of the jacks would only have “amplified” the sound.

There’s no right or wrong answer here. Waiting it out would be the safest bet in a workplace environment but how long are you expected to wait? I, personally, feel that it was really up to yer man to defuse the “situation” with a smile and a nod. By not taking ownership he gave secondhand, or vicarious, embarrassment which, in itself, is poor etiquette.

A ripper like that should be celebrated, not shrouded in shame. Especially if it came without any nasty smell. Something everyone can have a laugh about.

Never look another man in the eyes or speak to him when coming out of the shitter.......dont faff about looking in the mirror, wash your hands and get out of there and let the man fester in his own juices....

By jaysus, you could pin the tail of a donkey on that one..

I wonder if it had been him riding another one in the hotel while the Debs date was getting sick would they have married or would he have been blanked for the rest of life. :)

Some may find this a useful reference.

Parties in this could have referenced the Bristol Chart instead of talking about 'a spectrum of consistencies'.

Veet is the answer spice.. Just don't use lashings of it..

Simples!

No, no, no, no, no. Thank you.

All I can say is, I had a positive experience. Obviously I'm not dim and didn't apply it to me ferret..

No worse than the 'deep heat in the underpants prank' by the teammates.