Why do some people take such offence if you don't go to their stag party or wedding?

pgj2015 · 29-04-2023 05:41PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120536229#Comment_120536229

I think people need to try to see it from another persons view, not just their own. Its like a religious persons religion is very important to them but another person mightn't give a fcuk about religion and think its a waste of time.

it is childish of the married couple to care so much if a friend doesn't want to go.

Greyfox · 29-04-2023 05:48PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120536268#Comment_120536268

Na, family and friends are suppossed to be their for you on the big life changing days. They require a very good reason not to attend

Mister Vain · 29-04-2023 06:01PM

I can understand if its close family or friends. If its someone I'm not close with or cousins I haven't seen in years I generally don't bother.

EmmetSpiceland · 29-04-2023 06:07PM

Would need a very good reason to miss the stag, or wedding, of a “close” friend.

Simply not liking stags/weddings, or hating women, just wouldn’t cut it.

pgj2015 · 29-04-2023 06:20PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120536358#Comment_120536358

Or hating Rich people in your case.

EmmetSpiceland · 29-04-2023 06:25PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120536401#Comment_120536401

I don’t hate rich people? Some of my best friends are rich.

cuttingtimber22 · 29-04-2023 07:45PM

I hate weddings and I hate stag parties. Crap food. Crap speeches. Too much drink. Very false.

I love a good meal with a few friends or catching up for a few pints. If a friend needed a few quid to tide him over I am happy to do so and have. If they rang up on a midweek where I had a load of other stuff on and asked to head out I would.

timmyntc · 29-04-2023 07:46PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120536358#Comment_120536358

Simply not liking stags/weddings, or hating women, just wouldn’t cut it

Wha??

BrianD3 · 29-04-2023 07:50PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120536294#Comment_120536294

"They require" - bonkers stuff. And who are you to decide what a very good reason for non attendance is? Does the reason have to be approved by the rest of the herd or just the sheeple resources manager.

The result of all of this is you'll get a typically Irish situation where people are not honest and direct with each other. Instead of someone saying they don't feel like going to the wedding, they will come up with a BS excuse. Everyone will then be able to save face.

bucketybuck · 29-04-2023 07:58PM

Imagine thinking so little of your friends that you can't even make the base effort of going along to their wedding?

And then being surprised when they no longer consider you to be a friend at all?

Like, sit at home scratching fat arses all you want, but don't act surprised when people think less of you for it.

pgj2015 · 29-04-2023 08:04PM

me: want to go to Dublin for a gig? friend: no I cant because some bull$hit excuse.

friend: want to come to my wedding (which will cost a fcukin fortune, $hit food, $hit craic) and I know you hate them. me: no thanks.

im the bad guy here? lol

bucketybuck · 29-04-2023 08:08PM

They do want to go to the gig.

They just don't want to go with you.

Greyfox · 29-04-2023 08:10PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120536680#Comment_120536680

Once your reason could be genuine then your fine.

pgj2015 · 29-04-2023 08:11PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120536758#Comment_120536758

No they still want to hang out but when it suits them.

29-04-2023 08:14PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120536746#Comment_120536746

If you're a close friend, you're not invited to the wedding for the food or the craic.

You're invited because they want to share this once in a lifetime moment with you.

If you can't afford it, or have legitimate reasons not to go, people accept that.if you decide you don't want to go, because you've no interest, then that's your decision, but most people will take that to mean, that you dont care about the couple, so why should they continue to care about you?

Greyfox · 29-04-2023 08:16PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120536746#Comment_120536746

To the vast majority of people yes. Comparing a wedding to a gig makes absolutely no sense whatsoever

pgj2015 · 29-04-2023 08:17PM

I think it is what another poster said earlier, "oh there was 300 at my wedding etc etc" its all about showing off to people. I never got that before because think they are a waste of time, its all a load of $hite. id rather go to a Daniel O Donnell gig to be honest.

I know one thing for sure, I wont regret dodging 99% of weddings on my death bed.

pgj2015 · 29-04-2023 08:18PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120536796#Comment_120536796

Yeah but im saying for the past few years all I hear is excuses most of the time so I like gigs, they like weddings. it shouldnt be a one way street.

lbunnae · 29-04-2023 08:32PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120536746#Comment_120536746

Are you that thick?

bucketybuck · 29-04-2023 08:39PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120536770#Comment_120536770

Which is exactly what your own attitude is...

I know you are just on a wind up on a Saturday night but surely you can do better than this.

pgj2015 · 29-04-2023 08:41PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120536895#Comment_120536895

why do you care that I don't like weddings?

hynesie08 · 29-04-2023 08:46PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120536799#Comment_120536799

You might when the only person there is the nurse, and she doesn't really want to be.

tesla_newbie · 29-04-2023 09:02PM

Weddings are very expensive for guests , I got married a little over a year ago and honestly people were far too generous, we didn’t expect it but obviously that’s how conditioned people are so a lot of pressure

Suckler · 29-04-2023 09:03PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120536806#Comment_120536806

Ask your mother to have a word with your 'friends' mother to make sure you're included in the fun. If you don't want to play any more, just take your ball and head home.

saabsaab · 29-04-2023 09:11PM

How about going to the stag only?

elperello · 29-04-2023 09:11PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120536976#Comment_120536976

A couple I know got invited to a wedding last year.

Water cooler goss informed them that average cost per head for the venue was €175.

They gave a present of €350, hairdo and outfit €400, hotel €250, drinks etc. €150.

The man in the couple says he'd rather get a speeding summons 🙂

sameoldname · 29-04-2023 09:53PM

I'm just after forking out a few hundred for flights and accommodation for the privilege of going to see somebody I've already seen get married do it all over again in a few months. This will be near enough the 40th wedding I'll have attended in my 30 something years on this planet, 80% of which have all blended together in my head because there was basically no difference between any of them. I wouldn't be so quick to call out the OP.

pgj2015 · 29-04-2023 09:58PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120537001#Comment_120537001

When I hear that I know im right not to go. Especially when the marriage falls apart after a few years or they cut out all their friends anyway after the wedding. I don't apologize for skipping events I have no interest in.

dxhound2005 · 29-04-2023 10:22PM

This could be a case for forming a support group. For people who have been cut off from former friends, just because they didn't turn up at the wedding.

dory · 29-04-2023 10:46PM

I've skipped a few / left early and have lost friends over it. They're so awfully painful. You're expected to be at the church by lunch and get given a hard time if you want to sneak off at 3am. I've never skipped a close friend's wedding but I've organised a few holidays to escape others.

Why do some people take such offence if you don't go to their stag party or wedding?

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