Why do some people take such offence if you don't go to their stag party or wedding?

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120558903#Comment_120558903

Riff raff.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120558855#Comment_120558855

That is like a 60th birthday our family was invited to, a cousin of my dads who he sees once every 10 years if that, I dont think I have ever seen any of them. They just invited us to get money/gifts. needless to say they didnt see us at that party.

Dav010

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120559045#Comment_120559045

Wedding Invite:travel problem, help needed.

TooTired123

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120559334#Comment_120559334

I get it that you are either a committed wedding guest fanatic and you don’t like to see your hobby being dragged through the muck OR you had a painful experience as someone who planned a poorly attended wedding and have been scarred as a result.

Either way it’s cruel of us to keep taunting you about how much Irish weddings are now so strongly disliked in comparison of days of yore.

So yeah of course you’re right. All of these people on this thread just dislike weddings because they struggle with travel plans.

It has nothing to do with modern weddings being too long, too boring, too expensive too tedious too inconvenient and last but not least, the transformation of the perfectly nice couple into the most pretentious pair of twats to ever walk the earth.

Nothing at all…

TooTired123

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120558753#Comment_120558753

“people are still telling us 10 months later how much they enjoyed the impressionist we hired to entertain our guests while we spent 3 1/2 hours getting a photoshoot”.

Translation:”it’s going to take me 7 more years to pay down the credit union loan I took out to pay for extras alone. I can’t believe I hired that juggler and spent so much on the wedding favors. Now I’ve been refused a car loan. If I don’t keep asking people if they enjoyed the juggler it will almost be like it was a waste of money….”

Melted

Was invited to a wedding in australia, I was thrilled booked and all and was going to make a holiday out of it. However an unexpected family event occured and I was unable to travel closer to the date. It was impossible.

After apologising and explaining the situation never heard anything back in years. Probably for the best I think.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120559596#Comment_120559596

Very lazy of you, not to nip down to Australia for the wedding. 😉 I heard it was the best one in years.

seablue

I think there is more hype about weddings now,even though most couples are already living together, maybe have kids, so the wedding is not that big a deal - just making things official.

Back in the day, getting married really was the start of a couple's life together.

BaywatchHQ

I've only been to one wedding in my adult life which was my sister's. Going to a wedding as an incel loner would be a very awkward experience.

Rawr

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120558855#Comment_120558855

I think you win the thread buddy :)

Damn, that reminds me of that awesome Bridezilla thread we had on Ranting & Raving a few years ago. The same kind of expectation that the poster would be a transport service and a very similar underhanded way of even soliciting what should be a massive favor.

Kind of goes to show some of the extremes this kind of thing can bring out in people. A distant friend suddenly became a very fair weathered friend when you became useful to them. Then had to trick you into becoming the lift for the aunt.

Finally the Aunt herself. I kind of imagine her omitting the whole «pregant lady needing hospital» detail in her report to the groom, declaring the «they aren’t coming and won’t give me a lift!» All in service of her goal of having her free lift to her big day out. Never mind what was pregancy scare for all she knew.

All too right that you ripped up that card and pocketed the gift cash. Sure, you were cheeky with a lie, but that lie exposed the true nature of these people and ultimatly the actual worth of a relationship with them. I true friend would ask if you were both ok, and might even offer some form of help or moral support. They would at very least not mind your absense in the slightest. Not worth attending the wedding of people who behaved like that to you.

JupiterKid

As others here opined already, this thread shows that views on weddings in Ireland are deeply entrenched from those who see a big fancy large wedding as a complete must-have to those who cannot stand weddings and all the associated stuff - and ne’er the twain shall meet. Those with more middling, moderate views are, as always, drowned out by the posters with the most extreme views on the issue.

There’s also a lot of thinly-veiled anger expressed on here by those who view attending a big wedding ceremony as a social obligation from friends and wider family and those who transgress this by declining the invitation are blackballed - IMO you should really want your close family and friends to share in your joyous day and they should really want to attend - but to expect dozens of acquaintances, former work colleagues and distant relatives you have not seen in years to attend the expensive wedding to give cash gifts or cover the expense of the day is extremely crass, selfish and shallow.

And yes, there is a lot of self-entitlement, selfishness and unrealistic expectations around weddings, usually by the bride (or groom in some cases, gay male weddings I’ve been to have had this happen) who are brought up to believe that they are a princess or king on “their” big day and anything that upsets this even a little - such as a friend declining the invite - can lead to tantrums, lashing out and stress for all those around the wedding party. This is not my idea of a good wedding in any way.

At the end of the day, it’s the marriage that counts, the wedding is over very quickly. So many people lose sight of that critical fact.

DownByTheGarden

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120566294#Comment_120566294

I think the dividing line is between those who have been invited to too many weddings and those who have only been invited to a couple.

Someone who has gone to 4 or 5 of them is just tired of them. But someone who hasnt been to many gets very excited by an invite.

The moment that always comes at a wedding that I always find hilarious is when the first dance happens and then everyone sits down. The bride then gets all worried that her wedding will be seen as one where people didnt dance and then instructs the bridesmaids to get up and dance with the groomsmen to make the dance floor look like its lively.

When that doesnt work she instructs the bridesmaiads to go arround and drag up the poor guests who dont even want to be on the dance floor. So awkward and happens at every wedding. All the have to do is wait an hour or two longer til people get more steamed and they will all be up dancing anyway.

Northernlily

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058294489/why-do-some-people-take-such-offence-if-you-dont-go-to-their-stag-party-or-wedding

Because they are immature twats. They should grow up to ****.

Rawr

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120566552#Comment_120566552

Interesting angle to look at. Only ever been to 4 myself. Two siblings, one friend and my own elopement with Mrs. Rawr, and that’s it. I have some single friends who likely won’t be married (multiple long stories) and one friend engaged who mightn’t even get to marriage if the OH gets sick of him, but is one possibility of a wedding invite in the future. Beyond that the next one might be Rawr Jr’s wedding, if people even bother with them anymore by then. I’m somewhat mellow on weddings, but not massively keen on them either.

In contrast I’ve had friends attend dozens of them in quick succession over a period of a few short years. Can’t imagine what that can do to a person over time.

dxhound2005

They would become very good dancers. After 4 dozen weddings in 3 short years.

Boardnashea

Don't worry. It's just part of a cycle. Christenings next, few 50th, 60th and hopefully 70th birthdays and then it will come around to whose funeral did you get get to and whose did you miss! Last person standing wins!

saabsaab

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120567928#Comment_120567928

It's best to go to dancing class beforehand.

Pauliedragon

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120559773#Comment_120559773

Aussie weddings are great for the fact all the ones I've been to are finished at 10pm. That's the way to go I reckon.