No man wants to date me because I’m approaching 30?

I really dont think that age is a factor, and the men who are concerned with it arent really worth your time anyway. Every one of my exes ended up with much older women than themselves and several men I know settled down with women in their mid to late 30's while the men are much younger. On the flip side of that I know women who are settled with much younger men and who only met them when they were well into their 30's.

I think the people who put women into a box like that based on their age, are usually those type of freaks who are obsessed with judging women and guilting & shaming them into behaving a certain way.

I just think that as you get older, majority of the men who want to settle down are already in long term relationships, youre left with a smaller selection of men, some of them want to settle down but they have too many red flags so no one will consider them, then theres men who don't want to settle down & just want sex, and then theres the odd decent guy whose open to settling down but you're just not compatible or attracted to each other for whatever reason.

Dating apps also give men the notion that they have endless options to choose from so theyre always looking for someone better or thinking they can do better. I also think the likes of instagram has given allot of men unreal expectations and they can be quite shallow when choosing a partner & can go for someone who looks good on paper but theyre miserable in the relationship. Then theres double standards that have to be considered too like for example, men who are looking for a mother figure/date mother figures and how this is such red flags. If you or I was looking for a father figure in a relationship it would be rightly considered as creepy but allot of women feel they have to conform and be a mother to their partner or else he wont stick around. I think having your boundaries and knowing what your comfortable with is such a strength and those kind of standards shouldnt be lowered just for the sake of having a relationship.

The point being is that dating after 30 can be like fishing in sewer sometimes.

I've been reflecting on this one....

Full disclosure, I am female, Irish, double the age of the OP...and have long experience of the male sex - who I like and enjoy.

Here's a couple of thoughts arising, to the OP:

1. If blokes don't want to date you, why don't you date them? Go ahead - ask one out. (It worked for me!)
2. This "online dating" scene has a huge, huge failure rate - because there's a huge gap between reality and daydreams! (I've been on a couple of these sites, too)
3. the best way to meet someone is to actually meet them: in real life, real time. Smile at people, chat if they smile back. Honestly, hand on heart, this really works. It works much, much better than composing profiles and hoping someone likes the persona you portray in it...and guess what? The lads are doing the exact same. Hence the huge gap!

I could make a portfolio of all the women I have heard moaning that they had a lot of fun in their 20's but now. at 30 and later, the men aren't interested: all the "good ones" are taken or married, and the ones who aren't are bitter, disillusioned and only out for some gratifying sex with someone young and pretty.

Meanwhile, the men of a similar age are complaining that women only want to use them, to get what they want - money, marriage, kids and a house - and then discard them. Leaving them high and dry, and very broke.

So it has to be real life and real, honest relationships; it takes more work, but it really does deliver much better and long-lasting results.

Speaking for myself it really feels like men dont want to put the work in, it takes 2 to make a relationship work.

To be honest you can't be attractive in the traditional sense if you aren't getting matchs on a dating app. It's an impossibility. Unless you have a crazy profile.