Ashling Murphy RIP - a discussion *please read the OP before posting*

I think violence across the whole of society has increased so much over the years that this tragic murder is part of it .My heart goes out to her family cannot imagine how difficult it must be for them .

Some people have a mindset , and they don't even know it. One older man said to me, '' it's an awful tragedy, poor girl, I wonder what she did to deserve that''

'' WHAT SHE DID! TO DESERVE THAT'' Now this guy meant nothing by it, but subconsciously they'll phrase it this way. That's a deep rooted mindset, without even realizing. It's like deep deep down they're thinking what provoked that man into doing this to Ashling.

It's messed up

Hysteria, it seems to be consuming many of us now days.

This was a despicable deed and insofar as it goes - a woman killed by a random attacker in daylight in a public area, quite rare. Whilst sympathising I can't help but feel that a lot of the reaction, in the media anyway, has been a bit over the top. Whilst I understand that many women can feel threatened at times and perhaps even limited in their choices, I'm not entirely clear if or how this will or can ever change.

Can we name one western society where the same issues do not arise? The factors at play have been around since the earliest days of humankind one suspects. The only society that I've heard women say that they can move freely around in without any fear at all, is that of the stricter Islamic cultures. But is that what Irish women really want? To have to dress very conservatively, cover their heads and essentially be the property of their husband. And even then I suspect that well connected men in such societies can get away with practically anything they want, even if the poorer are severely punished.

So is there a model out there somewhere, where all women feel completely free and unthreatened in public (or private) arenas, despite what they do?

It’s a terribly sad event, poor girl was going for a run at 16:00 in the afternoon and someone ended her life. We don’t yet know who or if this person knew her and it was a bitter ex or some infatuation that was rejected, or someone with mental health issues who shouldn’t have been out in society.

What I’m finding quite genuinely upsetting at the moment is this narrative that’s sprung from it that ‘men kill women’. Watching the late late last night and your wan’s literal words were that ‘men kill women’ and we don’t know what it’s like having to walk home with our keys in our hands’ or feel wary and uncomfortable if a man is too close to them in a social situation.

And there’s talk like all women go out and feel unsafe around men and even the Taoiseach saying ‘men and boys need to have the basic principle of value and respect for women’. I’ve these principles as my wife would confirm and my Mam God rest her soul would murder me if I even threw a sideways glance at a woman let alone made someone feel unsafe.

It’s the mass generalisation I’m struggling with, I think it’s dangerous and actually detracts from what has happened.

It feels as though the narrative being pushed is that all males are dangerous and we must change our ways.

67% of murders in the country are male victims, I can’t find out the percentage of perpetrators gender but that’s still 2/3 chance a male is going to be murdered than a female.

If this turns out to be someone mentally ill, does the narrative change to the state of our mental health service and why this person was out?

Where does the Gardai fit into all of this, violence has been on the rise for a while so where are they patrolling the streets to have some sort of visible deterrent?

The Justice system needs to look at sentences for violent crimes and start handing down terms that actually aren’t laughable as a deterrent too.

Again, I’ll ask can posters please stop with the mass generalisations and start saying ‘certain men’!

Believe it or not 49% of the world’s population aren’t all predators! Just like a small percentage of the remaining 51% are!

I despise that phrase “wrong place wrong time” used in these instances…

I'm 36, have never once seen any friend of mine make any comment/wolf whistle/hassle any woman in public. While some men may do it it's absolutely not accepted as ok by the vast majority of men in modern Ireland and making sweeping statements that it is isn't really helping anyone. The only thing I've ever seen actually happen is the typical lads WhatsApp chats that I'm sure are full of shít they shouldn't be, I couldn't tell you exactly what goes on in them as I personally have no interest. I can imagine the sort of stuff that is said in some of them and I'd be more than happy to see that kind of rhetoric die out.