Married Men - A Gay Lads View - Have you ever had an experience?

Liberty_Bear · 09-01-2022 2:37am #1

Posting it in here as this concerns mostly 'straight lads'. Was holding court today with the fellow gays over a coffee outdoors as we normally do once or twice a month. The topic of married lads came up. Never shocks us GBT lads but jaysis if the wives of Ireland knew their hubbies were in flagrante delicto then there would be blue murder! Came across this article

https://theconversation.com/why-some-straight-men-have-sex-with-other-men-160140

From the Article

As part of my research, I spoke with 60 straight men who have sex with other men, and specifically looked at men in rural areas and small towns. The majority of men I interviewed were primarily attracted to women, not men. So why would they have sex with other men?

My findings revealed several reasons as to why straight men have sex with other men. Several men explained that their marriages did not have as much sex as they wanted, and while they wanted to remain married, they also wanted to have more sex. Extramarital sex with men, to them, helped relieve their sexual needs without threatening their marriages.

Female friends find this intriguing - one has admitted her husband was allowed to meet his friend and their sex life improved. Once a month he got a night with his friend, few beers. The husband and his male companion identified as straight.

Opening the floor to the AH for their thoughts - straight men have you entertained such thoughts? Do you feel guilty? Do you feel at ease?

No judgement here just intrigued! (and do forgive my whimsical intro!)

Yellow_Fern · 09-01-2022 2:43am

Not at all. Id say it is pretty rare

Liberty_Bear · 09-01-2022 2:46am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442383#Comment_118442383

When you say pretty rare , would you say it is something that has come to mind the very odd time?

Mr Burny · 09-01-2022 2:46am

Urgh I’ve never heard of such deviancy

Yellow_Fern · 09-01-2022 2:47am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442389#Comment_118442389

No. It also undercuts the argument that being gay is hard and fast unchangeable characteristic.

Liberty_Bear · 09-01-2022 2:47am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442390#Comment_118442390

You are missing out my friend <3

SamStonesArm · 09-01-2022 2:48am

According to my twin brother who is gay, it appears a few of the lads I know growing up who are married now or in a relationship with a lady have played the rusty trombone a few times.

Cheating on a partner is a dick move .

Liberty_Bear · 09-01-2022 2:50am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442394#Comment_118442394

That has been my experience as well ... a lot of men have told us up front that their wives are no longer intimate with them

ZoZoZo · 09-01-2022 2:54am

News at 10, some gay men are still in the closet, end of thread.

I hate to break it to you but I can't imagine that that article is anything other than gay fantasy porn.

SamStonesArm · 09-01-2022 2:54am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442396#Comment_118442396

I never thought about it until my twin said it to me. Seems to be fairly popular.

Some chap a few years back was chatting away to me on Facebook and said he liked me , would like to meet up , bla bla bla and I told him I was straight and he said that I. His experience they're all straight untill they get their "serviced by him". Fecking hornier than us straight dudes hahahaha.

Liberty_Bear · 09-01-2022 2:54am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442392#Comment_118442392

Neurobiology counters that sexuality realistically is hard wired. That old Dublin truism that every hole is a goal maybe applies here. A lot of these men still identify as straight

Yellow_Fern · 09-01-2022 2:59am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442405#Comment_118442405

It really isnt, hence bis exist. I never heard of that 'truism'.

Liberty_Bear · 09-01-2022 3:05am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442413#Comment_118442413

Bis exist in much the same vain as trans, gay and lesbians. Product of the genetics they inherited. Were such things environmental then such things would not exist in the animal kingdom (the penguins swing both ways)

Ive heard it from plenty of lads - they would get up on the crack of a plate either due to being horny or insatiable and not getting it anywhere. Hop on any of the apps and married lads ten a penny...

Yellow_Fern · 09-01-2022 3:19am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442420#Comment_118442420

Were such things environmental then such things would not exist in the animal kingdom does not follow. Environmental can switch on aspects of development.

Liberty_Bear · 09-01-2022 3:24am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442432#Comment_118442432

Actually this is interesting...Nature did report that it was 25% contributed to genetics

https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-019-02585-6

“There is no ‘gay gene’,” says lead study author Andrea Ganna, a geneticist at the Broad Institute of MIT and Harvard in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Ganna and his colleagues also used the analysis to estimate that up to 25% of sexual behaviour can be explained by genetics, with the rest influenced by environmental and cultural factors — a figure similar to the findings of smaller studies.

“This is a solid study,” says Melinda Mills, a sociologist at the University of Oxford, UK, who studies the genetic basis of reproductive behaviours.

Thus how is it then straight men come knocking on our doors then?

o1s1n · 09-01-2022 3:25am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442420#Comment_118442420

If men sleep with both women and men then they're bisexual.

They can dress it up in whatever linguistic hula hoops they want, it doesn't really change the fact.

[Deleted User] · 09-01-2022 3:30am

Or they are not straight. 🙄

I can see it now gay men considered straight because they identify as straight.

They are not straight, they are either gay or bi.

And as for gay men marrying women... Been happening as long as being gay has been taboo. Hopefully that thinking is redundant and gay men can lead full open lives.

[Deleted User] · 09-01-2022 3:30am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442436#Comment_118442436

Why would you think they are straight? Bizarre.

Liberty_Bear · 09-01-2022 3:34am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442442#Comment_118442442

Labelling as far as I can see is pretty much redundant, sexuality has become so much more fluidic these days in my purview. Slowly seeing that a lot of men that we might have considered as traditionally straight are actually interested in sex with men. If a man has slept with a man, found its not for him...not a gay or bisexual man does it make.

SamStonesArm · 09-01-2022 3:39am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442445#Comment_118442445

Would the lads who tried it and found it wasnt for them not be classed as bi-curious with answers .

[Deleted User] · 09-01-2022 3:39am

It makes him gay. No straight man would consider having sex with a man.

Were there more gay men in society going through their whole lives in denial, yes. It was bloody illegal up until relatively recently, decried by all major religions and made traditional mammies cry. So huge pressure... these lads are now experimenting with their sexuality. Good for them, it's only a pity they've mislead their wives

Liberty_Bear · 09-01-2022 3:41am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442449#Comment_118442449

Ive read the term straight but curious in some aspect...Id still call them straight tbh

[Deleted User] · 09-01-2022 3:44am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442452#Comment_118442452

You can, if you wish to delude yourself. You can make up any name you like for them. No harm in it, whatever works for you

Larbre34 · 09-01-2022 5:07am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442449#Comment_118442449

Lapsed bi-curious, or in the bi-curious cup but knocked out by Cambridge at home.

Theres an unreality about this thread that seems to treat sex between men who are in other committed relationships as some sort of relief valve or right of passage.

But let's be clear, if a bloke is married or in a long term settled relationship that mirrors a marriage, and he has sex with a woman, or a man or a farm animal who isn't his wife or partner, then he's being unfaithful or cheating if you prefer the term.

Theres no such thing as a freebie for acts of homosexual infidelity.

SamStonesArm · 09-01-2022 5:21am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442499#Comment_118442499

I 100% agree with you. It done my bulb in when Philip Schofield came out and people where fawning over him and saying how brave he was.

Yeah fair play to him but he still lied to his wife for over 20 years about who he really was.

As far as I know they are still getting on which is great. Still doesn't stop him being a liar to her for so long.

I'll probably get hate for this but hey , it is what it is

theteal · 09-01-2022 8:42am

Reminds me of an uncomfortable encounter from about 6 months ago that I try to file under banished memory. I was propositioned by one of said married straight men - I presume all true facts, he repeated them enough times. I thought it was a wind-up at first but his continued efforts to convince me it was "alright" helped kill the jovial atmosphere and replaced it with sheer awkwardness. I just cut him off and walked away in the end. Being a straight married man, I have zero interest in those kind of shenanigans (putting it mildly). This was a relatively large rural town out wesht.

Lack of intimacy at home is no excuse. Fix or end that relationship. Playing away from home is scummy and stop trying to convince yourself you're straight.

[Deleted User] · 09-01-2022 9:23am

I've just realised the 'straight' guy for a gay man is the equivalent fantasy as a lesbian is for a straight man. 😅

Thelonious Monk · 09-01-2022 2:09pm

Most blokes whether straight or whatever can just go on Grindr and get sucked off by another bloke within minutes, this isn't possible to achieve so easily with another woman. I would imagine these straight guys would choose women if they could but it isn't available in the same way. Simple as that, at the end of the day it's just friction on your dick regardless of who's doing it.

[Deleted User] · 09-01-2022 2:16pm

Sex is sex. You can enjoy it with either sex, no matter what your own.

Men being men (massive generalisation, I know) are more open about wanting sex. So, stands to reason it is easier to have sex with men, for women and men.

Anyone doing it behind their partners back is a dick though.

[Deleted User] · 09-01-2022 2:18pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118443602#Comment_118443602

Do they not have any hands? Men going on grinder to get sucked off are gay.

But, we live in a new world where identifying as straight may be considered enough to be considered straight. It will never make them straight by my definition. Getting aroused by man to get a blow job = gay or bi.

Thelonious Monk · 09-01-2022 2:37pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118443656#Comment_118443656

It's not that simple though. I mean I could just let some bloke suck me off and not be attracted to them at all does that make me gay? sure they could use their hands but why not use some dudes mouth if it feels better?

Married Men - A Gay Lads View - Have you ever had an experience?

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