Religion and Engaging with the Teacher

I was brought up by non religious parents. Mum was just ambivalent, dad an atheist. They didn't try to absent me from religion in school probably because, 1. it was the 80s and they already caused raised eyebrows by not attending mass in our village and 2. They likely couldn't have been arsed making a song and dance about it. I believed what I was told by teachers until I realised there were other opinions and it was all opinion rather than fact. Then at around 9 or so I made up my own mind.

I'm non-religious. I'd say athiest but that term often comes with its own rigid dogma that I have no interest in subscribing to. Anyway, I'd prefer my child not to be taught religion in school but unfortunately, majority Catholic schools are how it is here. Particularly in less built up areas. You are far from the only one unhappy about this. There have been calls for change for decades, but those in school now will have kids of their own by the time there's any noticeable change. 100 years of Catholic ownership of schools won't be overturned in a year or two.

I won't be putting my child through any religious ceremonies but I also won't be demanding that my child has nothing to do with religion classes in school. I'll let them know that those ideas are a belief some hold and some don't and it's up to each individual to decide what they believe.

Your very staunchly atheist approach OP is no more moral that someone who forces their religion on someone. If you aggressively prevent someone being exposed to something they will actively seek it out. I wouldn't be at all surprised if your kid ended up developing an interest in religion precisely because they know it riles you up so much. What better way for a kid to rebel than do something their parent loaths.

You'd get further with your crusade if you reconsidered your tactics. Join a group that advocates for a change in school patronage/influence. Your in for a long battle and you catch more flies with honey.

Yeah they did. By confirmation time neither of them believed in it but just fancied a day out / couldn't be bothered opting out.

Communion just sort of happened. We did give them the choice of opting out of confirmation but the answer in each case was sort of "mneh I'll do it"

This above sums it up. We have an education system that's tailored for the perceived needs of the majority. One can quote the constitution all you like but the fact is that the state does not have to provide an education system tailored to the individual needs of children or families. The only certain way to avoid all religion in primary or secondary education is to help your children learn at home. But they will (hopefully) still meet family and neighbours who are more aligned to the mainstream and will pick up influences particularly from their peers. The only long term solution is to remove all vestiges of religious teaching from the education system and leave it as a subject to be dealt with within the family and parish. But that's a long term project and one that would meet serious resistance from many parents and interested parties.

You say you didn't have a choice but you had already entered your children into "god's family" ......communions don't just "sort of happen" you need to be baptised first so I presume that happened 7-8 years prior to the communion.

So if you don't believe in God why did you start them on that path when they were babies?

I'm ambivalent about the whole issue I don't mind them participating in religion class etc but they are not baptised. (Well one is happened on their granny's death bed in hospital, she really wanted it, I didn't want her haunting me, so I caved, she died a couple of days later ) However that's where it ends.

I just don't understand people saying they don't believe in God but their children have received all the religious sacraments. Then wondering why the system is slow to change.

Similarly to religion opt outs I presume. We would teach it at the beginning or end of a school day. Parents who wish their children to not receive RSE drop their child late or pick up early. I've never encountered a RSE opt out. It would be very strange that a parent wouldn't want RSE taught to their child. Definitely would be a red flag.

This is all a lot of nonsense and could cause unnecessary stress for your poor child.

Children don't come out of primary school as religious fanatics. There is no big deal in them sitting in the class and participating.

If you really feel that strongly about it, just have a friendly conversation with your child saying, "that is what a lot of people believed throughout history, some people believe in it today and others don't. Your mother and I personally don't but we respect our friends that do".

That is pretty much all it takes.

if a teacher brought in a crystal healer or homeopath and started to dazzle with cancer cure stories would you be fine with it?

The church themselves got a bit hot under the collar when some kids were doing Yoga in schools.

https://www.irishtimes.com/news/ireland/irish-news/catholic-bishop-warns-against-yoga-and-mindfulness-in-schools-1.4055449

What's the harm in it honestly?

Both me and my partner are completely atheist and I'm extremely anti religion etc but we still let our son enroll in religion. Will let him make up his own mind down the road etc as I don't want to force my beliefs on anyone else.

If he chooses to believe fair enough.. if he doesn't then equally good but at the end of the day at least its his own decision to make.

^^

To be honest if the Op has any sense of morality they would never have enrolled their child in a religious school. But they're complete hypocrites. No worries whatsoever about taking what they can from a religious school and ranting about forcing religion on children when they're forcing their view on their own child.

There aren't any accommodations that can be made. The children can't be sent to another classroom. All other teachers/principals/SNAs are busy doing their own work so there is no one available to supervise. In the junior end, RSE is very unoffensive. Even at the senior end there are only a handful of lessons that deal with sex. The rest is mostly about taking care of your body and personal safety. It is part of the curriculum. Parents who really want them to opt out will find a way to take the child out themselves. Otherwise they will be in the room when RSE is being taught.

If you didn't baptise them then why would you put them forward for communion and confirmation?

Hi Cyrus.

I see that you took issue with my use of the phrase "no choice".

It was not meant literally. Of course technically I had a choice (and incidently I'm very happy with the one that I made).

My job requires me to be in work at 8.30am every weekday morning. Getting children to a location 30km away for 8.30am every weekday morning would require either paying 100s of euro per week for a taxi for them at that time or quitting my job to drive them myself.

Sometimes in life you need to weigh up the pros and cons of a situation. (1 hour of wasted religious claptrap per day vs long journeys and separation from neighbours and a big financial hit).

The latter was way way too much of a sacrifice; hence my use of the widely used term "no choice". Apologies if you think it was meant literally.

It's not rocket science. Contrary to what you seem to believe, religion isn't drummed into kids at school nor is it the source of lifelong faith. True religion is a cultural phenomenom and it is "learned" through lifestyle, not something a teacher tells you for 30 minutes twice a week.

You seem awfully, and illogically, wound up on it and aggressively deflecting your own opinion onto your child.

Just kindly ask the teacher if your kids can do something else while religion is being taught, no harm done - what kid wouldn't prefer to be able to play or color in a book rather than listen.

Your responses are completely unnecessarily condescending and aggressive. I would advise that you speak to the teacher concerned in a less combative manner maybe and stop making a Mount Everest out of nothing.

You make a very valid point.

One way of looking at things is that we took the coward's way out and succumbed to peer pressure or the reluctance to come across as different. Not attending mass in the area had already raised eyebrows.

Another view is that we did what we thought would do least damage to our kids. Without knowing our very personal circumstances, no one is in a position to judge us for that call.

I agree with the point you make and to be honest was aware of that argument at the time. Part of me is ashamed for not perhaps considering it more carefully all those years ago although I am delighted with how my children have turned out.

I'm not judging you at all by the way. I was just curious if you opted out completely.

I get 100% what you're saying and living in rural Ireland myself, I know exactly about raised eyebrows but I hoping it's not as bad now as when we were kids.