Kids in coffee shops - yay or nay

Good old fashioned discrimination in a new variant

My view (female late 30's) is a coffee shop is no place for kids. Kids cry, get bored, yell and make noise and that's perfectly natural. A coffee shop isn't the place for it. Generally I find them to be a disturbance so if I see kids inside I don't go in.

I won't go into a coffee shop if there's loud kids already inside, and where possible I favour cafes with upstair seating that buggies can't access.

A blessing of covid is that more cafes that can have expanded their outdoors options and I'd happily wrap up in warm layers to avoid being trapped indoors with parents who treat every space as a romper room for their crotch fruit.

Our full time nanny just messed up and I bumped into the children this week! Let me tell you, the stress that caused. I'd fire her, but they aren't easy to replacee. Think I'll just pop down to that child free cafe for a laté and see if that soothes my frazzled nerves.

That would be a really profound / terse / cutting comment if I could work out which side you are criticising?

I have two you young kids, and if I wanted a quiet cup of coffee without them, I wouldn't go in to a coffee shop full of kids either, if they were being loud. I'd go to one with an upstairs like you suggested.

I also won't go to the queue in supermarkets that's full of old people, because they're generally too slow.

And I won't sit on a bench beside the canal if there's a bunch of teenagers hanging out there, because I can't listen to the sh!t teenagers talk.

But I can't go to any of those places and suggest the other people should move to accommodate me. If I don't like the company, its on me to move on.

Society shows leeway to children by giving planning permission for family restaurants.

Op,

I brought my then-4-year-old son into the ladies for a wee in the Kilkenny Shop (a bit highbrow maybe). We had eaten lunch and were about to leave, but the bladders needed to be emptied. As we were leaving the Ladies through the two sets of swing doors, an elderly woman was on the way in. My son actually held one of the doors open for her, to which she stated "that child should not be in here". I was so shocked I could not say a word and just moved on. My next reaction was hurt and upset so I gathered my stuff and left pronto before we had to see her again. My point here is that some people are just going to piss you off for no good reason and life is full of these scenarios. Hand on my heart, I don't see what leg she had to stand on - and so I just had to take it that day. Some days are like that ... Most people are reasonable about other people's kids - in general - and then you meet the likes of that oul bag!

"crotch fruit" 😆 These 'fruits' are literally their parents most treasured things in life. Their reason for being ... 🤷‍♂️

You have used the term "crotch fruit" twice. It really is an incredibly stupid term. I would rather put up with loud children than an adult who can refer to kids like that.

I really appreciate that.

Are they wrong though?

We have only the OPs version of events and a parent is naturally biased towards their offspring. The fact they have taken this on here shows that they need reassurance against doubts of their own tolerance of their children's behaviour in mixed settings.

An already mindful and considerate parent, or an careless parent wouldn't be seeking feedback.

If the silence of a person reading distresses you but screaming children in a cafe doesn't then just admit that you have no problem with parents treating every shared space as an extension of their kids creche or romper room.

Cafe's are not romper rooms. Play grounds exist for a specific purpose.

Costa are building nursing homes?😶

Having kids running around a coffee shop is absolutely not on, it's actually dangerous and irresponsible. But there's no suggestion the OP's kids were. If she let the child out of the high chair he wouldn't have been antsy.

So the problem is noise. So what's an acceptable noise level? I've been in coffee shops with my kids and there were noisier adults, should the adults be asked to leave if noise in a coffee shop is unacceptable. What about grinding coffee, is there any place for that in a coffee shop? I think it's ridiculous to go to large chain coffee shop which caters for children expecting children to not be present, and expecting it to be quiet. They sell food and drinks for children, they have high chairs, anybody who goes there expecting no children is not very observant.