Carbonara sauce is a scam

gozunda · 03-12-2020 1:14am

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

The consensus is absolutely no eggs in carbonara. Its made with just cream, a half pound of salt and some billy roll!

Nein, nein, nein, Billy Roll ist ein Frankfurter, sondern in Clones hergestellt, nicht italienisch.

03-12-2020 3:36am

This thread has made me decide to make it from scratch with the eggs. Maybe this evening.

fonecrusher1 · 03-12-2020 4:09am

Deleted User wrote: »

This thread has made me decide to make it from scratch with the eggs clotted cream and UHT milk. Maybe this evening.

Yup its best to go traditional. Fair play. Although is clotted cream not a bit much?

JustAThought · 03-12-2020 4:19am

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Yup its best to go traditional. Fair play. Although is clotted cream not a bit much?

I might settle for a toasted bagel with cream cheese and smoked rashers with black pepper.

Has anyone ever tried making C with cream cheese like Philadelphia instead of using cream?

fonecrusher1 · 03-12-2020 4:35am

JustAThought wrote: »

Has anyone ever tried making C with cream cheese like Philadelphia instead of using cream?

Kind of like a carbonara cheese cake? Intriguing. For the base of the cake use a solid slab of billy roll. Best served with a salted cream sauce.

JustAThought · 03-12-2020 4:44am

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Kind of like a carbonara cheese cake? Intriguing. For the base of the cake use a solid slab of billy roll. Best served with a salted cream sauce.

!!!
No no -
I mean the real way as per that mad ozzie how to cook video - only instead of using 4 egg yolks or cream you add in cream cheese at the end... coild be lovely if you don’t overboil it... I’ve often made mussle pasta that way

Canis Lupus · 03-12-2020 7:19am

Deleted User wrote: »

This thread has made me decide to make it from scratch with the eggs. Maybe this evening.

Everyone says it's so easy and despite being a reasonable home cook I've never ever made a satisfying home carbonara. It probably doesn't help that I only bother to try once every year or so.

Having said that I prefer the creamy variety even if you can't call it carbonara.

fits · 03-12-2020 7:25am

I’m the same I’ve never managed to make a nice one. An Italian friend made me one once. It seemed like he was cooking for ages - just taking lots of care with all the steps. It was delicious.

El Tarangu · 03-12-2020 9:44am

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Everyone says it's so easy and despite being a reasonable home cook I've never ever made a satisfying home carbonara. It probably doesn't help that I only bother to try once every year or so.

Having said that I prefer the creamy variety even if you can't call it carbonara.

Don't overdo it with the pasta water, would be my advice - pasta should just a little damp.

partyguinness · 03-12-2020 10:12am

46 Long wrote: »

What do think they make pasta from?

I've come across some bizarre forms of orthorexia in my time but a fear of thickening agents is a new one.

I said 'white flour'. There are other types of flour. And again for some reason you are confusing my desire to use and eat simple ingredients with 'fear'.

You really need to take a good long look at what you are eating for your own sake.

fonecrusher1 · 03-12-2020 10:13am

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Everyone says it's so easy and despite being a reasonable home cook I've never ever made a satisfying home carbonara.

See the problem here is you're not adding enough cream. Rule of thumb is when you think you have enough cream add another litre.

When I'm making carbonara I have a cement truck of cream in the back garden on standby.

46 Long · 03-12-2020 7:29pm

partyguinness wrote: »

I said 'white flour'. There are other types of flour.

Unless you're torturing yourself with the wholemeal stuff, pasta is made with white flour, water and (sometimes) eggs. It's a processed food so since you're trying to avoid those you probably shouldn't be eating it, right?

partyguinness wrote: »

And again for some reason you are confusing my desire to use and eat simple ingredients with 'fear'.

Um yeah, because that's what you've said:

partyguinness wrote: »

If you are using thickening agents on a regular basis especially white flour I would be a little concerned. In fact you should stay well away from white flour- it is no good

White flour is 'no good' and you're 'concerned' about thickening agents because reasons.

partyguinness wrote: »

You really need to take a good long look at what you are eating for your own sake.

So white flour and thickening agents are not harmful but I still need to take a look at my diet because why, exactly?

I'm not going to take advice from someone who lacks even basic nutritional literacy. 'Only eat things your grandmother would recognise' says the man cooking pasta bakes with mascarpone.

Alejandro68 · 03-12-2020 8:06pm

Some of the posters version of Carbonara is disgusting. I may give you a proper one.

COVID · 03-12-2020 8:07pm

Alejandro68 wrote: »

Some of the posters version of Carbonara is disgusting. I may give you a proper one.

No rush.

fonecrusher1 · 03-12-2020 10:02pm

Alejandro68 wrote: »

Some of the posters version of Carbonara is disgusting. I may give you a proper one.

Proper what? :eek:

Post reported. Stranger Danger!

COVID · 04-12-2020 12:07am

Alejandro68 wrote: »

Some of the posters version of Carbonara is disgusting. I may give you a proper one.

Alejandro.

I may have been a tad precipitous with my previous 'no rush' comment.
It's just that we've got this Carbonara thing down:

1) Buckets of cream - fresh, double or clotted.

2) No eggs.

3) Billy Roll

'fonecrusher' has already issued an extensive cooking guide, you'll find that a couple of pages back in this thread.

Also, you do have quite an exotic name which suggests to me that you might be from foreign shores, this is no problem, all are welcome here.
However, please refrain from suggesting any fancy-dan stuff when giving us the benefit of your culinary wisdom.
We here in Ireland have an old saying when it comes to food preparation and consumption: 'If your granny can't pronounce it; I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole!''

Bellysimmo...as you might say back home.

Leg End Reject · 04-12-2020 12:10am

If you're really adventurous use sour cream and chives.

The flavoured crisps make an adequate emergency substitute, just cook them until they're soggy.

Bon appetit.

partyguinness · 04-12-2020 11:08am

46 Long wrote: »

Unless you're torturing yourself with the wholemeal stuff, pasta is made with white flour, water and (sometimes) eggs. It's a processed food so since you're trying to avoid those you probably shouldn't be eating it, right?

I only eat pasta when I am at the top end of a training block and yes I make it myself with wholemeal- not surprisingly not very often. Go and educate yourself on white flour.

46 Long wrote: »

Um yeah, because that's what you've said:

Really...where was that then?

46 Long wrote: »

White flour is 'no good' and you're 'concerned' about thickening agents because reasons.

And...?

46 Long wrote: »

So white flour and thickening agents are not harmful but I still need to take a look at my diet because why, exactly?

You still don't get it do you. I will spell it out one last time. It's about knowing what you are eating and what goes into your food. If you want to pluck jars off the shelf containing all sorts of extraneous thickening agents and opaque 'flavourings' go right ahead.

46 Long wrote: »

I'm not going to take advice from someone who lacks even basic nutritional literacy. 'Only eat things your grandmother would recognise' says the man cooking pasta bakes with mascarpone.

Have you not heard of mascarpone..too exotic for you I guess. It is a type of Italian soft cheese. Not surprising from the man who readily admits to eating the following:-

- 'Easi Singles'- If I didn't know better I would assume you were about 12 and writing from 1987
- Frozen mash
- Microwaveable pouches of baby potatoes
- Tayto sandwich with Doritos
- 1/2 inch of Kerrygold with lemon curd
- Old El Paso Tacos (I am guessing you are also partial to the wraps. Read up on those ingredients)

If that is your idea of 'nutritional literacy' you need all the advice you can get as you have the culinary sophistication of a 19 year old student. As I have already said- your body, dump all you want into it.

Porklife · 04-12-2020 11:34am

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Everyone says it's so easy and despite being a reasonable home cook I've never ever made a satisfying home carbonara. It probably doesn't help that I only bother to try once every year or so.

Having said that I prefer the creamy variety even if you can't call it carbonara.

Probably not using enough guacamole

Zaph · 04-12-2020 11:37am

partyguinness wrote: »

I only eat pasta when I am at the top end of a training block and yes I make it myself with wholemeal- not surprisingly not very often. Go and educate yourself on white flour.

Really...where was that then?

And...?

You still don't get it do you. I will spell it out one last time. It's about knowing what you are eating and what goes into your food. If you want to pluck jars off the shelf containing all sorts of extraneous thickening agents and opaque 'flavourings' go right ahead.

Have you not heard of mascarpone..too exotic for you I guess. It is a type of Italian soft cheese. Not surprising from the man who readily admits to eating the following:-

- 'Easi Singles'- If I didn't know better I would assume you were about 12 and writing from 1987
- Frozen mash
- Microwaveable pouches of baby potatoes
- Tayto sandwich with Doritos
- 1/2 inch of Kerrygold with lemon curd
- Old El Paso Tacos (I am guessing you are also partial to the wraps. Read up on those ingredients)

If that is your idea of 'nutritional literacy' you need all the advice you can get as you have the culinary sophistication of a 19 year old student. As I have already said- your body, dump all you want into it.

Lads, seriously, if you want to bicker about the nutritional value of certain foods or what each other eats, any chance you could take it to PM? The rest of us are here because we need to find out just how much Billy roll we need for our carbonara and which type of cream gives the best results.

Cordell · 04-12-2020 11:42am

Alejandro68 wrote: »

Some of the posters version of Carbonara is disgusting. I may give you a proper one.

Until you get to it:

- cook one ready made or desiccated mac and cheese
- sprinkle parmesan, preferably the powdery one that comes in a tub rather than solid blocky one that you need to grate yourself
- add cream and canned mushrooms
- add ham or chicken ham
- mix well
- top it up with cream
- serve and enjoy

Best served with chips and garlic sauce.
Follow me for more recipes

fonecrusher1 · 04-12-2020 12:20pm

Cordell wrote: »

Until you get to it:

- cook one ready made or desiccated mac and cheese
- sprinkle parmesan, preferably the powdery one that comes in a tub rather than solid blocky one that you need to grate yourself
- add cream and canned mushrooms
- add ham or chicken ham
- mix well
- top it up with cream
- serve and enjoy

Best served with chips and garlic sauce.
Follow me for more recipes

Following.

Might I add a delightful inclusion in a traditional creamy no egg carbonara (translates to Cream by the gallon) is torn up chicken nuggets.

Gabinetto!

COVID · 04-12-2020 1:49pm

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Following.

Might I add a delightful inclusion in a traditional creamy no egg carbonara (translates to Cream by the gallon) is torn up chicken nuggets.

Gabinetto!

It's certainly daring 'fonecrusher', though it might be a little bit too lively for my jaded palate, I suppose people are entitled to experiment, it'll also give those insufferable foodie bores something to talk about in fashionable Dublin 6.

Speaking of which, I hear tell that some swanky place near the city centre has eschewed one of the foundation ingredients of proper carbonara, namely 'Billy Roll', for the outrageously esoteric 'haslet', mad stuff.
They'll be plonking eggs in it next!

COVID · 04-12-2020 2:41pm

conan_XR wrote: »

What's the best bread to use for your carbonara sandwiches?

I use a standard french roll, just shove as much carbonara into it as possible, ketchup and mayo down the length of the opening and have it with cheese and onion crisps.

Sounds good to me, Conan.
The only modification I would suggest would be to use a sub-standard french roll rather than a mere standard one.
Well done you!

Cordell · 04-12-2020 2:42pm

Wrap it like a carbonara buritto.

Cordell · 04-12-2020 2:46pm

conan_XR wrote: »

Do you put sour cream on that?

Well of course. And maybe some grated cheddar and taytos.

COVID · 04-12-2020 2:59pm

Cordell wrote: »

Well of course. And maybe some grated cheddar and taytos.

Top idea.

If they're still available - perhaps online - I'd go mad and plump for Perri crisps, they have a similar poxy taste to Taytos, but they end in a vowel, and so sound Italian, which will sound very impressive when you're in the 'super' barking the ingredients down the phone to your mother-in-law.

Neyite · 04-12-2020 3:25pm

conan_XR wrote: »

What's the best bread to use for your carbonara sandwiches?

I use a standard french roll, just shove as much carbonara into it as possible, ketchup and mayo down the length of the opening and have it with cheese and onion crisps.

I think a french roll would be too European for a Carbonara to be honest.

I'd put some good soda bread with it. To me that's a far better pairing than that foreign baguette muck.

And guacamole. Not the fancy ones, a traditional one made with potatoes, cabbage, carrot and turnip and a good dose of salad cream to add that bit of zing.

*kisses fingers*

COVID · 04-12-2020 3:31pm

Neyite wrote: »

I think a french roll would be too European for a Carbonara to be honest.

I'd put some good soda bread with it. To me that's a far better pairing than that foreign baguette muck.

And guacamole. Not the fancy ones, a traditional one made with potatoes, cabbage, carrot and turnip and a good dose of salad cream to add that bit of zing.

*kisses fingers*

Nailed it!

Neyite · 04-12-2020 3:44pm

COVID wrote: »

Top idea.

If they're still available - perhaps online - I'd go mad and plump for Perri crisps, they have a similar poxy taste to Taytos, but they end in a vowel, and so sound Italian, which will sound very impressive when you're in the 'super' barking the ingredients down the phone to your mother-in-law.

Salt and vinegar Discos is what you want for that I think. If you get a good package of them they turn your entire tongue white.

Carbonara sauce is a scam

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