Ridiculous things your teachers said in school.

seagull · 24-07-2020 4:39pm

joeguevara wrote: »

And those who cant teach, teach PE.

Did you enjoy School of Rock?

seagull · 24-07-2020 4:41pm

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

That teaching of spelling it with an N has been pretty widespread. Where did it come from if it's wrong? How did it not only start, but manage to get spread around the world?

Montage of Feck · 24-07-2020 4:43pm

Bassfish wrote: »

Primary school teacher in the mid nineties told us to never shake hands with a gay person as we'll get the AIDS!

Now you'll get the corona virus.

SlowMotion321 · 24-07-2020 5:07pm

I was teaching an evening class in Excel spreadsheets to beginners a number of years ago and was explaining how to copy and paste formulae.

Me "now move the cursor to cell a10, right click on it and select copy from the little menu that pops up!"

Very attractive but not too sharp young lady "Sir! There's all flashing lights around me box!"

I quickly had to excuse myself from the room so I could belly laugh in the corridor amid barely contained splutters from everyone else in the room! :P

Ipso · 24-07-2020 5:34pm

I can’t remember if it was me or someone else that was eating a sweet during lent, aged about 6 or 7, and the teacher starts ranting about Jesus dying on the cross for us, sins, force etc

ILoveYourVibes · 24-07-2020 5:43pm

SlowMotion321 wrote: »

I was teaching an evening class in Excel spreadsheets to beginners a number of years ago and was explaining how to copy and paste formulae.

Me "now move the cursor to cell a10, right click on it and select copy from the little menu that pops up!"

Very attractive but not too sharp young lady "Sir! There's all flashing lights around me box!"

I quickly had to excuse myself from the room so I could belly laugh in the corridor amid barely contained splutters from everyone else in the room! :P

I can't believe there are people who have to take a course to learn this.

freshpopcorn · 24-07-2020 5:44pm

Not something she said but more of something one did.
A girl from the convent died in a crash at the weekend. We were in the CBS and she used do a subject with us as well. So, she’d have been known.
My English teacher decided to write obituaries with us on the Monday after she died.

gogo · 24-07-2020 5:49pm

I went to convent and we went to mass weekly. We werent supposed to sit with our legs crossed in mass and a nun won’t go along the rows hitting our knees to uncross them, loudly proclaiming ‘open your legs to the lord’ .... queue 100 girls keeling over with the type of silent laughter that only happens in mass, school or more lately zoom meetings.. good times!

ILoveYourVibes · 24-07-2020 5:50pm

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Not something she said but more of something one did.
A girl from the convent died in a crash at the weekend. We were in the CBS and she used do a subject with us as well. So, she’d have been known.
My English teacher decided to write obituaries with us on the Monday after she died.

That's cold.

Hotblack Desiato · 24-07-2020 6:10pm

seagull wrote: »

That teaching of spelling it with an N has been pretty widespread. Where did it come from if it's wrong? How did it not only start, but manage to get spread around the world?

Wow, that's dumb as all hell. "Somebody wrote it down, so it must be true."

joeguevara wrote: »

And those who cant teach, teach PE.

Does teaching PE cause psychosis, or is it an entry requirement for the training course?

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

That's cold.

So was she.

SlowMotion321 · 24-07-2020 6:15pm

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

I can't believe there are people who have to take a course to learn this.

This was quite some time ago, late 90s knowledge of computer applications such as these was still a bit of a dark art to a lot of people!

24-07-2020 7:04pm

SlowMotion321 wrote: »

This was quite some time ago, late 90s knowledge of computer applications such as these was still a bit of a dark art to a lot of people!

They even brought out the ecdl course in the later 90s as a real thing. Now of course not having that level means your computer thick

SlowMotion321 · 24-07-2020 7:13pm

Deleted User wrote: »

There is an old saying that goes along the lines " those who can do it well, do it, those who can't! teach"

As someone who both did it well and taught it equally well (have a C.V. from the private sector and student passing grades to back it up) I can say that phrase is a load of bollox often quoted by those who can do neither! (not directing that comment at you specifically DB)

Edit: I believe the original quote came from George Bernard Shaw!

SlowMotion321 · 24-07-2020 7:16pm

Niner leprauchan wrote: »

They even brought out the ecdl course in the later 90s as a real thing. Now of course not having that level means your computer thick

I was one of the first people in Ireland qualified to teach and grade the ECDL exams!

Ahh, I miss the ridiculous amount of money I got paid for those courses!

24-07-2020 7:18pm

SlowMotion321 wrote: »

As someone who both did it well and taught it equally well (have a C.V. from the private sector and student passing grades to back it up) I can say that phrase is a load of bollox often quoted by those who can do neither! (not directing that comment at you specifically DB)

Edit: I believe the original quote came from George Bernard Shaw!

I knew it was famous from somewhere.

joeguevara · 25-07-2020 6:31pm

seagull wrote: »

Did you enjoy School of Rock?

Actually from Annie hall.

I Am Nobody · 25-07-2020 6:51pm

That I would be dead or in prison by the time I was in my 20's.I'm still alive and didn't go to prison until I was 40.

28-07-2020 1:42pm

6th year. Someone made a joke referring to S&M and there was a laugh.

The teacher said "lads don't do stuff with whips and chains because it gets out of hand".

AllForIt · 28-07-2020 2:13pm

My primary schools teacher said there was going to be a miracle in my lifetime, not in hers, but in ours. She's still alive which is there reason it hasn't happened yet.

joeguevara · 28-07-2020 2:19pm

AllForIt wrote: »

My primary schools teacher said there was going to be a miracle in my lifetime, not in hers, but in ours. She's still alive which is there reason it hasn't happened yet.

Did you have the same teacher as Collossus in post #232 who said this:

"In national school when I was about 9 our teacher during a religious education class told us that sometime in our lifetimes ( and not hers cause she'll be dead ) there will be some kind of amazing miracle. She attached some saint to this event I don't recall who the saint was - I've forgotten. Well it was like 35 years ago or so. Oh well I guess we'll know who the saint is when it eventually happens."

Aglomerado · 28-07-2020 3:17pm

When Saturday evening Mass was introduced in the parish:
Teacher: I don't like it, but if I have to be there, you can be certain you'll still see me in Sunday morning Mass.

Teacher was the greatest wagon and bully alive but was always bragging about how pious she was.

Salvation Tambourine · 28-07-2020 3:34pm

"Your friend has asked for advice on what share to buy. Oh wait! We can't do this question because Nokotan has no friends..."

He was a very funny man.

c.p.w.g.w · 28-07-2020 3:44pm

Being told it was important to go to college and get a degree...You don't want to end up in a factory now do you...

Went to college, got a degree(2.1), used my degree for 8 years...

Now work in a factory, earning €40k a year with no experience in the field...if i can get another contract(CoVid19 will play a role in that) I can start looking for similar jobs with different companies who pay considerably more...

Imagine if i went straight in to the same factory, i would be permanent, have a serious pension and health insurance...none of which i got in my previous job which required a degree:rolleyes:

unhappys10 · 28-07-2020 3:48pm

Our secondary school Irish teacher was quite overweight and very short, made her look almost spherical, like a balloon full of air.

She sent 4 of us to the principal one day for messing in class.

We were lined up in his office and he said "what are ye at lads, Mrs.Bannon is feeling very deflated."

As soon as he said deflated I literally bent in two laughing with the other lads doing the same, he had to tell us to get out as we couldn't stop laughing.

mick087 · 28-07-2020 5:32pm

Your an evil child Michael.
Because i watched a scarp in the playground.

Kylta · 28-07-2020 5:39pm

Your parents should have invested in some sort of contraceptive

Liamo57 · 28-07-2020 6:03pm

In 1st year, our French teacher said to us "I come from a 10 acre farm in Kerry, look at me now" . He was the ugliest looking tosser in Ireland with a cheap suit and tattered shoes and it was meant to inspire us to greatness. We all pissed ourselves laughing.