Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

The try harder if ye want to keep a second joke thread thread

Options
1…125126128130131…171

Comments

  • Options
    #3812
    byrner88
    Registered Users Posts: 1,088 ✭✭✭byrner88


    The wife next door was flashing me from her upstairs bedroom .

    How she got her car in there I'll never know.


  • Options
    #3813
    auspicious
    Registered Users Posts: 4,497 ✭✭✭auspicious


    People call me a hypochondriac. Which really hurts.


  • Options
    #3814
    auspicious
    Registered Users Posts: 4,497 ✭✭✭auspicious


    My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.
    We'll see about that.


  • Options
    #3815
    auspicious
    Registered Users Posts: 4,497 ✭✭✭auspicious


    People say I'm a plagiarist.
    Their word not mine.


  • Options
    #3816
    auspicious
    Registered Users Posts: 4,497 ✭✭✭auspicious


    I used to sell loose onions until I got the sack.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #3817
    TheBody
    Registered Users Posts: 5,619 ✭✭✭TheBody


    I've just spotted Jimmy White in our local garden centre.

    He's looking at a plant.


  • Options
    #3818
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    TheBody wrote: »
    I've just spotted Jimmy White in our local garden centre.

    He's looking at a plant.

    he'll be lucky to get a pot from there


  • Options
    #3819
    joeguevara
    Registered Users Posts: 8,048 ✭✭✭joeguevara


    My grief counsellor died the other day. He was so good, I didn’t give a sh1t.


  • Options
    #3820
    blade1
    Registered Users Posts: 12,194 ✭✭✭✭blade1


    TheBody wrote: »
    I've just spotted Jimmy White in our local garden centre.

    He's looking at a plant.
    Deleted User wrote: »
    he'll be lucky to get a pot from there

    Cue the puns.


  • Options
    #3821
    Bob Harris
    Registered Users Posts: 3,462 ✭✭✭Bob Harris


    blade1 wrote: »
    Cue the puns.

    Give it a rest lads.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #3822
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Well that's snookered it!


  • Options
    #3823
    Emmersonn
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,128 ✭✭✭Emmersonn


    Ye are nothing but comedians hoping for a big break


  • Options
    #3824
    fryup
    Registered Users Posts: 18,069 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    one snooker joke cannoned five, impressive


  • Options
    #3825
    Bob Harris
    Registered Users Posts: 3,462 ✭✭✭Bob Harris


    fryup wrote: »
    one snooker joke cannoned five, impressive

    They're racking up alright.


  • Options
    #3826
    joeguevara
    Registered Users Posts: 8,048 ✭✭✭joeguevara


    Bob Harris wrote: »
    They're racking up alright.

    If you want to see if there is anymore, tune in after the break.


  • Options
    #3827
    blade1
    Registered Users Posts: 12,194 ✭✭✭✭blade1


    fryup wrote: »
    one snooker joke cannoned five, impressive

    Let's go for 147


  • Options
    #3828
    everlast75
    Registered Users Posts: 19,115 ✭✭✭✭everlast75


    I somehow knew it was a bad idea to start with the snooker pun.

    I just felt it.


  • Options
    #3829
    dennyire
    Registered Users Posts: 1,835 ✭✭✭dennyire


    I am sure you have another pun or 2 in your pocket


  • Options
    #3830
    Emmersonn
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,128 ✭✭✭Emmersonn


    you have to be in the right frame of mind to continue this run


  • Options
    #3831
    Buford T. Justice XIX
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,633 ✭✭✭✭Buford T. Justice XIX


    dennyire wrote: »
    I am sure you have another pun or 2 in your pocket

    You can chalk that down!


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #3832
    joeguevara
    Registered Users Posts: 8,048 ✭✭✭joeguevara


    Just heard that on the way to the garden centre jimmy white crashed on the motorway in suspicious circumstances. He’s been put under a rest and motorists are going nuts as the cues tailback for miles.


  • Options
    #3833
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Well potted!


  • Options
    #3834
    blade1
    Registered Users Posts: 12,194 ✭✭✭✭blade1


    Well I think ye all are just baized!


  • Options
    #3835
    blade1
    Registered Users Posts: 12,194 ✭✭✭✭blade1


    All these snooker puns are giving me the shîts.
    I justed farted there and followed through!


  • Options
    #3836
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    blade1 wrote: »
    All these snooker puns are giving me the shîts.
    I justed farted there and followed through!
    You potted the brown so!


  • Options
    #3837
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Steve Davis had just won another world championship at the Crucible and wanted to celebrate, so he decided to get a call girl.

    She turns up and he tells her to strip and bend over the snooker table!
    She does so and waits,

    and waits,

    and waits

    eventually she turns around to see what's happening

    Steve says, " I can't decide"
    "what" she says

    "Pink or Brown!"


  • Options
    #3838
    FrancieBrady
    Registered Users Posts: 67,152 ✭✭✭✭FrancieBrady


    Deleted User wrote: »
    You potted the brown so!

    or knocked the brown out of the pocket, so to speak.


  • Options
    #3839
    blade1
    Registered Users Posts: 12,194 ✭✭✭✭blade1


    Deleted User wrote: »
    You potted the brown so!

    I potted a red about 6 weeks ago.
    Had to go into hospital over it :pac:


  • Options
    #3840
    Emmersonn
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,128 ✭✭✭Emmersonn


    blade1 wrote: »
    I potted a red about 6 weeks ago.
    Had to go into hospital over it :pac:


    And the rest is history


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #3841
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    the run here demonstrates the talent pool


Advertisement