Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Women approaching men

  • 07-05-2020 6:07pm
    #1
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,483 ✭✭✭


    Is it becoming more common or are men still expected to do it in regards to dating? I think in Ireland no one ever cold approaches as our society isn't set up that way. Most romantic interactions occur in the pub.

    But even then, does the man have to make the first move?


«13

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 632 ✭✭✭Sorry about that


    Is it becoming more common or are men still expected to do it in regards to dating? I think in Ireland no one ever cold approaches as our society isn't set up that way. Most romantic interactions occur in the pub.

    But even then, does the man have to make the first move?

    It depends on the age, a 22 year old African such as yourself would probably have a very different dating approach, to an Irish man in his 50's, posing online as a 22 year old African.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,844 ✭✭✭✭Esel
    Not Your Ornery Onager


    :D

    Not your ornery onager



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 168 ✭✭Loozer


    If women are interested they'll let u know


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,912 ✭✭✭ArchXStanton


    Loozer wrote: »
    If women are interested they'll let u know

    But you'll be expected to make the first move...

    You would think in an increasingly equal society that wouldn't be the case anymore... But nope


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,009 ✭✭✭✭cj maxx


    I've been hit on by men and women on nights out and in the office so no, it's not always the drunk man doing the proposing.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,344 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    I’m sure the boys of this site will be along crying about how the girl will have to make the first “move” as guys can no longer approach them on a night without it ending up in a criminal proceeding.

    Which, of course, is nonsense. Unless you’re a creep.

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,627 ✭✭✭Woke Hogan


    I used to be approached by women all the time back in my single days. Being handsome and fit makes a big difference, I presume most of the users on this website are the repellent video game playing man children you see all over the internet, so it’s probably never happened to them.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,483 ✭✭✭mr_fegelien


    Woke Hogan wrote: »
    I used to be approached by women all the time back in my single days. Being handsome and fit makes a big difference, I presume most of the users on this website are the repellent video game playing man children you see all over the internet, so it’s probably never happened to them.

    Can I ask where? at the bus stop, supermarkets, pubs? Are you also tall or just good looking?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,627 ✭✭✭Woke Hogan


    Can I ask where? at the bus stop, supermarkets, pubs? Are you also tall or just good looking?

    Mainly through socials.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    It depends on the age, a 22 year old African such as yourself would probably have a very different dating approach, to an Irish man in his 50's, posing online as a 22 year old African.

    :D you can close the thread now


  • Advertisement
  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,483 ✭✭✭mr_fegelien


    :D you can close the thread now

    I don't get it, what is he trying to say?


  • Registered Users Posts: 2 Ureaseme


    It depends on the age, a 22 year old African such as yourself would probably have a very different dating approach, to an Irish man in his 50's, posing online as a 22 year old African.

    thanks, laughed: D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,414 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    I always thought Mr_f and Woke were the same person.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,547 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    Woke Hogan wrote: »
    I used to be approached by women all the time back in my single days. Being handsome and fit makes a big difference, I presume most of the users on this website are the repellent video game playing man children you see all over the internet, so it’s probably never happened to them.

    Proof yet again that having a big head doesn't always mean you have a big brain....:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 95 ✭✭Central Services


    Perhaps both could make an equidistant approach to a neutral, predetermined point.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 7,466 ✭✭✭blinding


    Use the approach a Prostitute Mode. How much ya charging darling ?

    It works when ya approach a Prostitute ! !


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,997 ✭✭✭Adyx


    Is this about reversing into people on the dancefloor again?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,100 ✭✭✭Roger Mellie Man on the Telly


    Never been approached by women - possibly due to wearing soiled underwear.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    I always thought Mr_f and Woke were the same person.

    Don't forget Mr. Flash and most probably Mr. Spiceland.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,135 ✭✭✭Better Than Christ


    Woke Hogan wrote: »
    I used to be approached by women all the time back in my single days. Being handsome and fit makes a big difference,

    That's not what your wife told me...


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,627 ✭✭✭Woke Hogan


    That's not what your wife told me...

    Probably to make you feel better about being a minger.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,135 ✭✭✭Better Than Christ


    Woke Hogan wrote: »
    Probably to make you feel better about being a minger.

    Well, let's just say I didn't have to approach her...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,970 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    Woke Hogan wrote: »
    Probably to make you feel better about being a minger.

    How's Tubbs?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,956 ✭✭✭✭Omackeral


    How's Tubbs?

    She's grand ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,503 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    only ever happened me once


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,315 ✭✭✭nthclare


    I love an aul humble brag now and again and I don't really give a sh1t but I'm approach all the time, because I don't feel any


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,033 ✭✭✭✭Richard Hillman


    I'd probably freak out if a lady approached me. I would definitely be wary that she was trying to pick pocket me or I was on some hidden camera show.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,723 ✭✭✭seenitall


    nthclare wrote: »
    I love an aul humble brag now and again and I don't really give a sh1t but I'm approach all the time, because I don't feel any

    You don't feel any - what?

    I approach men, but very rarely these days - I've grown awful picky, it must be the age creeping up... and I do it very subtly, always have.

    I like to be the person choosing ("Mmm I like this guy, let's give it a bit of a flirting effort here") instead of the person who is being chosen ("Oh this guy is trying it on...mmm, no I don't think I'll go there"), and one has to be proactive in that case.


  • Posts: 5,311 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    seenitall wrote: »
    You don't feel any - what?

    I approach men, but very rarely these days - I've grown awful picky, it must be the age creeping up... and I do it very subtly, always have.

    I like to be the person choosing ("Mmm I like this guy, let's give it a bit of a flirting effort here") instead of the person who is being chosen ("Oh this guy is trying it on...mmm, no I don't think I'll go there"), and one has to be proactive in that case.

    I'd say you've seen it all before.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,723 ✭✭✭seenitall


    I'd say you've seen it all before.

    Ya, pretty much, and that comes from a lifetime spent in the 'dating' world, for better or worse, as opposed to safely ensconced in one or two long-term relationships over the years.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,644 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    I like women.


  • Posts: 5,311 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    seenitall wrote: »
    Ya, pretty much, and that comes from a lifetime spent in the 'dating' world, for better or worse, as opposed to safely ensconced in one or two long-term relationships over the years.

    Interesting point, followed a similar track. Sure there was a long-term relationship or two, however the flings have been more frequent. All educational of course, only a fool repeats the same mistake. A sheltered life is one wasted, no regrets like the song.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,723 ✭✭✭seenitall


    Absolutely, Bertie's Horse - no regrets is a good thing to live by. Great minds think alike - and average about the same amount of posts on boards per year! :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,089 ✭✭✭✭Strumms


    I started going to pubs in the late 90’s and back then things were seemingly changing a bit, girls were more open to going over to say me or whoever and initialize conversation. Now you see it all the time.

    Thinking how it WAS before where it was ALL on the guy is just the most stupidly retarded thing ever. the first time I was approached by a girl I couldn’t hear properly and I missed what she said as she grabbed my arm and I replied... “the toilet is over there ———>” what she actually said was “were you at the Stone Temple Pilots”... we went out for a good few months but my shock at being chatted up was quite big.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,493 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    It depends on the age, a 22 year old African such as yourself would probably have a very different dating approach, to an Irish man in his 50's, posing online as a 22 year old African.

    This is an epic post.


  • Advertisement
  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,483 ✭✭✭mr_fegelien


    This is an epic post.

    Are you saying I'm fake? Why does he think I'm fake?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    never approach a man from the left that is his weaker side ....approaching head on is best ...it makes them less nervous


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Are you saying I'm fake? Why does he think I'm fake?


    Well...are you genuine? Is anyone 100 % genuine? Everyone is a lil fake ...;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,493 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    Are you saying I'm fake? Why does he think I'm fake?

    No. That's what was so good about the post, they never accused you of being fake.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,799 ✭✭✭✭greenspurs


    another Mr Fake-lian thread...

    Can someone please stop him !! FFS .

    "Bright lights and Thunder .................... " #NoPopcorn



  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,167 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    I remember back in the day you would know the girl was interested if she was standing outside the lads jacks waiting for you. Either that or she would just grab you by the balls. The only thing they're grabbing now is their smartphone to take the obligatory selfie to show everyone on social media that they're having a great time. Dopamine is the new drug and its highly addictive.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,300 ✭✭✭✭razorblunt


    Loozer wrote: »
    If women are interested they'll let u know

    Have they said when?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 168 ✭✭Loozer


    razorblunt wrote: »
    Have they said when?

    They just come up and say hello mostly


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,313 ✭✭✭littlevillage


    Can I ask where? at the bus stop, supermarkets, pubs? Are you also tall or just good looking?

    Mostly in his imagination.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,007 ✭✭✭s7ryf3925pivug


    Men might be the ones to approach more often, but usually it is response to signals from women, so they have always been the ones to advance things, just in a relatively passive manner.

    I think basic skills and courtesy when it comes to recognising the presence or absence of invitations to approach is enough to do pretty well with women. Even if you lack the normal natural intuition into expressions and social nuance you can learn them easily enough.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,007 ✭✭✭s7ryf3925pivug


    Springen40 wrote: »
    People should develop the confidence to approach without signals, learning to cold approach is a fantastic way to develop your confidence and is actually quite spiritual experience if you approach it right (pun unintended).

    In order to fulfill your potential approaching women you need to learn to let go of attachment to outcome. As soon as women feel that you need the interaction to go a certain way it becomes offputting. You need to learn to transcend your ego and be present and accepting of the present moment.
    Pretty sure I have fulfilled my potential for approaching women thanks.

    Approaching cold still requires you to recognise how someone is responding to you. Not caring if they aren't interested is good, but not caring about being a nuisance isn't.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,956 ✭✭✭✭Omackeral


    Thanks ChoreSexGuy!


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,016 ✭✭✭Ultrflat


    Is it becoming more common or are men still expected to do it in regards to dating? I think in Ireland no one ever cold approaches as our society isn't set up that way. Most romantic interactions occur in the pub.

    But even then, does the man have to make the first move?


    I think it depends on the situation, its nice when women approach you, but also just as nice when you approach them.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 161 ✭✭LeYouth


    Yeah if I wanted to be whipped /broke for life I would date / marry a woman.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 7,466 ✭✭✭blinding


    LeYouth wrote: »
    Yeah if I wanted to be whipped /broke for life I would date / marry a woman.
    The sooner functional female robots are invented the better.

    Just don’t forget to leave the Off Switch handy ! ! !


  • Advertisement
Advertisement