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Lame or embarrassing things you fapped to before you had internet porn

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Comments

  • #1142
    partyguinness
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,202 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    feelthepower wrote: »
    I remember there was a house near us of an old man that died and there was a skip outside the house of relatives clearing the house a few weeks later.

    Was probably around 11/12 at the time and sure me and my friends decided to go search it. We hit the jackpot. Inside the skip was a black bag of about 30 porno magazines. We took them anyway and stashed them in a nearby field in black sacks. Wasn't short of porno for a while.

    I remember around six months later Titanic came out and my mother bought it on VHS. Well Jaysus didn't that Jack painting Rose scene get a good going over. I watched it at least 150 times.

    Onto Secondary school sure wasn't there the porno king in every year. He had some setup at home to record tapes from one another and used to charge 8 pound for a tape. Jaysus the fecker made some money from them. Proper hardcore cum in bum porn.


    Hilariously the Porn King in our year was the son of one of the male teachers- he bring in his father's porn stash.


  • #1143
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,364 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    partyguinness wrote: »
    Hilariously the Porn King in our year was the son of one of the male teachers- he bring in his father's porn stash.

    I hope he wasn't caught by his father!


  • #1144
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,977 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    That 5 minute “freeview” for the “adult” channels has a lot to answer for. There’s a whole generation of men out there who learned fast how to be “quick”.

    “It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be” - A. Dumbledore

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



  • #1145
    Stevieluvsye
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,907 ✭✭✭Stevieluvsye


    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    That 5 minute “freeview” for the “adult” channels has a lot to answer for. There’s a whole generation of men out there who learned fast how to be “quick”.

    :eek:

    Jesus, remember that!


  • #1146
    KungPao
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,796 ✭✭✭KungPao


    “I got 5 on it”, a hippity hop video with girls in gstring, a slight bit of ass on show.

    Bay watch intro.

    Article on breast surgery in one of the woman mags.

    Holiday brochures. Lots of ass, sometimes even a bare boob if you look close enough.

    80s porno movies in the 90s. So much hair.

    Euro trash.


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  • #1147
    Fattybojangles
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,128 ✭✭✭Fattybojangles


    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    That 5 minute “freeview” for the “adult” channels has a lot to answer for. There’s a whole generation of men out there who learned fast how to be “quick”.

    10 minute freeviews my good man when I was a horny pup of a teenager I used to record all the freeviews on a blank VHS tape for future use and occasionally they wouldnt cut off the freeview in time a you got a couple of minutes of the real stuff.


  • #1148
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,977 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    Fattybojangles wrote: »
    10 minute freeviews my good man when I was a horny pup of a teenager I used to record all the freeviews on a blank VHS tape for future use and occasionally they wouldnt cut off the freeview in time a you got a couple of minutes of the real stuff.

    Sorry, F. You are, of course, correct.

    It was 10 minutes at midnight and 5 at 1am.

    “It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be” - A. Dumbledore

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



  • #1149
    Fattybojangles
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,128 ✭✭✭Fattybojangles


    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    Sorry, F. You are, of course, correct.

    It was 10 minutes at midnight and 5 at 1am.

    I was always tugged out and tucked up by 1 a.m


  • #1150
    partyguinness
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,202 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    Sorry, F. You are, of course, correct.

    It was 10 minutes at midnight and 5 at 1am.


    and the bastards had like a countdown for the last 30 secs....:(


  • #1151
    Stevieluvsye
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,907 ✭✭✭Stevieluvsye


    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    Sorry, F. You are, of course, correct.

    It was 10 minutes at midnight and 5 at 1am.

    Channel 901 to 920 was yer man

    True story. 4 years ago was on hols with Mrs S and got chatting to a lovely couple from Ipswich. Got on like a house on fire as i had a few things in common with the lad. His mrs was a cracker but i recognised her but couldn't put my finger on it.

    So we meet up later (all of us) for a night out and it turns out she's a glamour model and said she had done some "Babestation" in the past!!! That's where i knew her from.

    Anyway her name is Charlene Hart. Sound girl. About 5 foot nothing but as said already little cracker.

    Stayed in touch for a while after but they split up not long after.

    Feel free to google


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  • #1152
    Dr. Bre
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,907 ✭✭✭Dr. Bre


    Remember the station Bravo use to show soft core ha!


  • #1153
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,364 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    KungPao wrote: »
    “I got 5 on it”, a hippity hop video with girls in gstring, a slight bit of ass on show.

    Bay watch intro.

    Article on breast surgery in one of the woman mags.

    Holiday brochures. Lots of ass, sometimes even a bare boob if you look close enough.

    80s porno movies in the 90s. So much hair.

    Euro trash.

    or if they're lying down on their front with their bikini tops undone


  • #1154
    partyguinness
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,202 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    branie2 wrote: »
    I hope he wasn't caught by his father!


    Or ended up confiscating porn found on a student thinking: "Oh I have this issue."


  • #1155
    fryup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    Dr. Bre wrote: »
    Remember the station Bravo use to show soft core ha!

    yes after midnight, it came on to replace eurosport i think :P


  • #1156
    partyguinness
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,202 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    I remember an ad for "9 1/2 Weeks" on RTL (again circa 1992/1993) but the ad was just the sex scene. Of course I thought the entire film was just one big sex fest. I took a mental note of the time etc and thankfully the parents were away that night.

    As the sex scene is toward the end I sat there for 2 fcuking hours of "9 1/2 Weeks" dubbed in German just for that 2 minute scene.


  • #1157
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,977 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    Dr. Bre wrote: »
    Remember the station Bravo use to show soft core ha!

    Some great films were shown. A great time for fans of “bawdy” film or, even, sleazy, saxophone driven, “steamy” erotica.

    Some weekends you’d be “treated” to a Russ Meyers movie, on others you might get to enjoy the performances of such giants of the “industry” as Shannon Tweed, Gabriella Hall, Shauna O’Brien, Julie Strain, Shannon Whirry or, even, Griffin Drew.

    Stuff that wouldn’t rot your brain, like the overly aggressive crap a section of, angry, young men are watching today.

    “It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be” - A. Dumbledore

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



  • #1158
    partyguinness
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,202 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    Some great films were shown. A great time for fans of “bawdy” film or, even, sleazy, saxophone driven, “steamy” erotica.

    Some weekends you’d be “treated” to a Russ Meyers movie, on others you might get to enjoy the performances of such giants of the “industry” as Shannon Tweed, Gabriella Hall, Shauna O’Brien, Julie Strain, Shannon Whirry or, even, Griffin Drew.

    Stuff that wouldn’t rot your brain, like the overly aggressive crap a section of, angry, young men are watching today.




    I will always associate the saxophone with 80s soft porn. No matter what the context.


  • #1159
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,364 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    An ad for soap with a young lady in her slip.


  • #1160
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,364 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    partyguinness wrote: »
    I will always associate the saxophone with 80s soft porn. No matter what the context.

    Or a Playtex ad


  • #1161
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,364 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    Barbara Windsor being very revealing in Carry On Dick


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  • #1162
    Titclamp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 409 ✭✭Titclamp


    To my own shadow.


  • #1163
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,977 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    branie2 wrote: »
    Barbara Windsor being very revealing in Carry On Dick

    ‘Carry On Camping’ was another gem but, let’s be honest, all that pales in comparison to, the inimitable, Kitten Natividad’s work in Russ Meyer’s ‘Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens’.

    “It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be” - A. Dumbledore

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



  • #1164
    Hangdogroad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,720 ✭✭✭Hangdogroad


    The Friday night movie after the Late Late in the 80s. You'd hope to hear the words "for adult viewing only". The movie the Pawnbroker and a black girl who gets her jugs out.


  • #1165
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,977 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    LP record sleeves.

    Particularly ones by the likes of Linda Ronstadt or Dana Gillespie. Obviously, Roxy Music’s ‘Country Life’ too.

    “It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be” - A. Dumbledore

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



  • #1166
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,364 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    Jennifer Connolly's character in the Rocketeer attaching her stockings to garters


  • #1167
    fryup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    LP record sleeves.

    Particularly ones by the likes of Linda Ronstadt or Dana Gillespie. Obviously, Roxy Music’s ‘Country Life’ too.

    never heard of her, had to do a google image search, and my word! - let's just say she wasn't shy;)


  • #1168
    Simi
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,076 ✭✭✭Simi


    Ibiza uncovered and other similar shows on sky one


  • #1169
    Sgt Hartman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,944 ✭✭✭Sgt Hartman


    I remember whipping up the courage to buy a sex education book in Eason's. It contained explicit illustrations of sex positions.
    The main thing I can remember from it were two male figures on the book. The first one looked exactly like my old school PE teacher and the second one was the spitting image of Gary Barlow from Take That. One image showed "Gary Barlow" jerking off in front of a mirror and another image showed my PE teacher looking like he was having a major heart attack whilst on top of a woman.

    ”If I offended you, you needed it!!” - Corey Taylor



  • #1170
    Hangdogroad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,720 ✭✭✭Hangdogroad


    Sgt Hartman wrote: »
    I remember whipping up the courage to buy a sex education book in Eason's. It contained explicit illustrations of sex positions.
    The main thing I can remember from it were two male figures on the book. The first one looked exactly like my old school PE teacher and the second one was the spitting image of Gary Barlow from Take That. One image showed "Gary Barlow" jerking off in front of a mirror and another image showed my PE teacher looking like he was having a major heart attack whilst on top of a woman.
    That reminds me, the Joy Of Sex video which caused such a furore on the Late Late Show. There was fella in it having a **** who looked like the singer from Extreme.(that More Than Words pop metal crowd)


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  • #1171
    FintanMcluskey
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,879 ✭✭✭FintanMcluskey


    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    LP record sleeves.

    Particularly ones by the likes of Linda Ronstadt or Dana Gillespie. Obviously, Roxy Music’s ‘Country Life’ too.

    Carly Simon no secrets Vinyl cover

    Google is your friend, not sure it’s safe to link here


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