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Homer J. Fong IS The Walrus - Grand Reveal!
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13-01-2020 8:13pm#1Ladies and gentlemen,
Welcome to my Walrus extravaganza!
Many thanks to tusk who collected all the submissions and anonymised them for me; I will give him some bonus points at the end, just not enough to affect the overall standings! :cool:
We have 17 participants in this game, by sheer coincidence the 17 sexiest people on boards (except for yours truly, of course
) and they are:
Also Starring LeVar Burton
Barney92
beakerjoe
Electric Nitwit
Green&Red
MicksJaguar
mustang shelly
Necro
osh
phatkev
Pretzill
Rikand
Sheridan81
Spook_ie
Triceratops Ballet
Trigger
tusk
BUT we won't be referring to them by name here. My helper has kindly assigned each boardsie to a very creative alias; I have no idea which alias belongs to which boardsie, and as I'm only 3/5 of the way through scoring I don't even know which alias submitted which song in my final two rounds yet. So this is still very much an anonymised work in progress; you are all of course welcome (encouraged) to comment on submissions, praise/judge my wonderful/horrible taste in music (delete as appropriate) and speculate on who may be who, though perhaps try not to make it too obvious which alias you are when you see your song appear!
So here are the 17 aliases that we are going to be meeting tonight and who shall join us for five lovely rounds:
Aleshark
Countess Bathrobinson Bailecoffin
Fanghoward
Harmony Cullran
Hayesshine
Helraham Jamesorty
Jameslon Barspell
Kingolas
Lolliclarke
Marflutter
Marshallazora Satanwest
Mediphira
Palka Stephenflame
Rosparkle
Spencerpop
Yollins Roseverse
Yompson Hamoondancer
.....I have no idea how tusk came up with these, and I'm not sure I even want to know; artistic geniuses don't reveal their methods!
For each round I'm going to provide my pre-listening comments (my first reaction on seeing the submission), listening notes (what went through my mind as I played/replayed each song) and my final verdict. Scoring system is quite simple; first place in each round gets 17 points, second place gets 16 and so on. Also I apologise in advance if I give a low score to a beloved song of yours; one (wo)man's pain is another (wo)man's pleasure and all that. Please be assured that it's nothing personal (and even if I did want to make it personal, the anonymity killed that off!)
So we're almost ready to kick off then. A reminder of our first round:1. "Can you paint with all the colours of the wind"
It's time to sing a rainbow, and all the other colours too! Give me a song with a colour in its title. Simples.
Will today be a Blue Monday after Storm Brendan's Purple Rain left the sky all Violet? Will someone Paint It Black before they turn a Whiter Shade of Pale and then Fade to Grey? We're all Silver Souls waiting for the Green Light.....so Let's Gold! (Sorry, I promise I won't do lame wordplay on every submission....or at least I'll try not to be!)
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Our first song of the evening comes to us from Mediphira who occupies the safe middle ground with 9th place and 9 points for Icehouse - Electric Blue
Pre-listening notes:
I know an Arcade Fire song called Electric Blue, I don’t suppose this is the same one….nope, we’re in the 80’s I see. Holy Mullet, Batman!! :eek:
Listening notes:
Hmmm should I know this song? Over 5 million hits on Youtube but I don’t think I’ve ever heard it before, and the band Icehouse certainly doesn’t ring a bell. Well it’s definitely very 80’s anyway, synthy pop-rock with a big sax and even bigger hair! He’s got a nice voice. Song’s perhaps a little anodyne but undeniably rather catchy. Found myself nodding along a bit more on my second listen than I did on the first, so that’s a good sign that it’s a grower.
Verdict:
Not the kind of thing I’d usually go out of my way to listen to but certainly not unpleasant. Would drunkenly and dreadfully sing-along to this. Might even add it to my 80’s-playlist, probably wouldn’t queue it but happy to hear it come on shuffle.0 -
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We're staying in the 1980's for now with a 10th place finish and 8 points for Countess Bathrobinson Bailecoffin
who gives us Elton John - I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues
Pre-listening notes:
Must admit I’ve never been a fan of Sir Elton. Maybe I’ll discover something I’ve been missing in this song which, to be fair, I’m not even sure I’ve ever listened to in full.
Listening notes:
So it seems to be a pretty straightforward song about a man who’s going to be separated from his lover for a while but telling her not to be too sad because they’ll be together again when he returns. But the lyrics don’t really offer an answer as to why it’s called “the blues”, or even what “it” is. I presume he’s referring to depression/melancholy rather than blues music, but there’s some deeper meaning I’m not getting perhaps? Bernie Taupin has much to answer for. Anyway this is musically and vocally quite pleasant but it doesn’t blow me away or inspire repeated listenings.
Verdict:
I’m still none the wiser about why “it” is called the blues. This song has failed to answer its basic premise, damn it! But anyway, I can respect that this song is quite well written and performed without necessarily being in a rush to listen to it again. If it comes on the radio I won’t run to switch the station but I also wouldn’t be going out of my way to listen to it out of choice.0 -
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Electric Nitwit wrote: »Oh hello, reveal time
As this is anon should we not be claiming songs when they come up?
That's what I was thinking but best to let Homer make the call I figured0 -
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Electric Nitwit wrote: »Oh hello, reveal time
As this is anon should we not be claiming songs when they come up?
Ideally not but it's not the end of the world if someone does; I'm gonna learn your identities eventually anyway so if there's a "slip" on thread I'm not gonna get mad or anything. Plus I don't want to stifle any of the discussion.
If completely anonymous doesn't work for the whole thread then we can do the "this boardsie = this alias" after the second or third round (via spoiler tags), I just need to keep it anon for myself until I finish scoring the two remaining rounds.0 -
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[Deleted User] wrote: »Ideally not but it's not the end of the world if someone does; I'm gonna learn your identities eventually anyway so if there's a "slip" on thread I'm not gonna get mad or anything. Plus I don't want to stifle any of the discussion.
If completely anonymous doesn't work for the whole thread then we can do the "this boardsie = this alias" after the second or third round (via spoiler tags), I just need to keep it anon for myself until I finish scoring the two remaining rounds.
I'll try to celebrate my first place quietly then
EDIT: sorry, just reread the OP properly0 -
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Speaking of anonymity....
Grabbing a not-too-shabby 10 points for 8th place is Yollins Roseverse with Slade - Ruby Red
Pre-listening notes:
Oh, I wonder who this could be? There is of course no way to know, or even begin to guess. Such is the curse of anonymity, it can be quite unnerving…..even a little spooky, one might say! :pac:
Listening notes:
Intro rocks quite hard, they’re definitely brining the “noize” on this one anyway…wait, did he just say “let me satisfy your appetite with coq au vin on rice”?!!....Yes, yes he did. Those are the actual words. Well that does sound like a nice meal, in fairness. What’s he saying now…. “Ruby Red, better use your ruby head. Ruby Red, lying in your ruby bed” – Jaysus, this is absolutely ridiculous. Complete and utter nonsense. And I’m enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would enjoy a song like this!
Verdict:
My inner music snob in me wants to decry this as meaningless “Dad rock” but it’s actually a bit of a CHOOON, isn’t it? Great easy sing-along chorus and some nice guitar licks. My only concern is that this guy might be a “feeder” and is feeding poor Ruby until she’s too fat to get out of her (ruby) bed. 
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A decent 11th place finish and 7 juicy points go to Harmony Cullran for The NPG - Cherry Cherry
Pre-listening notes:
Red and yellow and green and…cherry? Must have missed that verse of the rainbow song! An obscure choice for a colour, and also possibly for the music. The NPG are….oh, Prince’s backing band. Now that I see the full name in writing “New Power Generation” it has me going “yes, of course that’s who they are”. How sweet are their cherries though? Taste test time….
Listening notes:
I wouldn’t know enough by Prince to call myself a “fan”, I know his greatest hits and for the most part they’re great tunes. Man was ridiculously prolific, would take forever to listen to his whole back catalogue. Gentle piano and bells intro, sweet vocals, quite sad lyrics (rhyming ‘basketball’ with ‘camisoles’ is a bit of a stretch though!) Yeah this is a nice enough, soulful number….woah, lyrics really take a turn in that last verse don’t they?
Verdict:
It’s not a song that sets my world on fire but it’s perfectly grand for what it is. The contrast between the gentle, understated music and the melodramatic lyrics (and is that a police siren at the end?) is interesting. Not exactly a Purple classic though.0 -
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I've an idea who this might be based on previous Walrus submissions.
Spencerpop takes 7th place and wins 11 points for Sunny Lax - Bluebird (Daniel Kandi Remix)
Pre-listening notes:
So dance music wouldn’t generally be my thing. I don’t really know the distinction between techno, trance, house, etc. so I probably sound like a total idiot if I try to talk about dance music. I suspect this is going to really drag me out of my comfort zone, which is part of the essence of Walrus I guess!
Listening notes:
Starts off with your fairly standard uns-uns-uns….ok, nice bleeps kicking in at 30 seconds, extra layers being added now…at least it’s building and not staying flat……it’s all gone quiet at 3 minutes, and then picks up again. It moves along nicely without ever getting too repetitive.
Verdict:
So I went on a little bit of a daydream with this one. I’ve never been much of a clubbing person, but I’m willing to accept that I’ve probably only been to shít clubs! The idea of being among a group of happy, buzzing people and dancing like mad to something like this without any other care in the world is a really nice thought. I’ve recently entered my thirties, maybe this is the decade that I’ll somehow fall into that scene?! I doubt I’ll ever be a connoisseur of dance/electronic music but the important question for any song regardless of genre is; would I listen to this again? And in this case the answer is yes, I think I would.
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Our 12th place finisher tonight is Helraham Jamesorty who gets 6 points for Xavier Rudd - Dark Shades of Blue
Pre-listening notes:
Xavier Rudd….that name does ring a bell, though I can’t think of what I actually know by him.....oh wait, the top video on Youtube is a song called "Follow The Sun", I have heard that song before. He seems to be a folky, new-agey type of guy? ….
Listening notes:
….ok, maybe he’s not always a folky, new-age type! This has quite a sludgy, hard rock intro. Pretty good voice, in fairness. Song plods along a bit though, no real “wow” moment. Drags a bit at the end in particular, think at least thirty seconds could probably be shaved off. Overall though it’s not a bad song by any means but it hasn't blown me away either.
Verdict:
This is a perfectly fine song. Nothing "wrong" with it per se. But I’m not really in a rush to listen again. Sorry.0 -
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Fanghoward is gently rapping at my chamber door and as a result wins 12 points and 6th place with Alan Parsons Project - The Raven
Pre-listening notes:
Ah yes, that well-known colour raven! Tempted to award marks for thinking outside the box here, as it’s not the first colour that comes to mind unless perhaps you’ve just dyed your hair. So I’m not sure what this song is but my first guess is that it’s going to be Edgar Allen Poe’s poem set to some music. Which could potentially be quite wonderful, actually! Let’s find out…..
Listening notes:
Well it’s kind of what I thought it would be, and yet so very different! I was expecting a Vincent Price-esque voice recital set to some eerie background music, whereas this is…..I’m not sure what this is, really. Electronic-soft rock-funk? Whatever it is I quite like it. Once you get past the initial “wtf” feeling, it’s a nice little tune. And the little crescendo at the end followed by the choral voices is very nice. Yeah, I like this. Very inventive.
Verdict:
This is the kind of strange submission I was expecting to find in the Joker round. Wouldn’t have even made the connection between this and the Colours round. I don’t know how often I’ll listen to this again but I’m certainly glad to know it exists. Good job, submitter!0 -
13 is unlucky for some, but a 13th place finish in this game means at least you're not in the relegation zone! Marflutter gets 5 points for Blonde Redhead - Pink Love
Pre-listening notes:
I’ve heard of Blonde Redhead but have never listened to them before. Now's a good as any to rectify this. On we go....
Listening notes:
Ooh, strange intro. Very unusual sounds coming from those instruments. Hmmm not mad about the vocals here to be honest. I quite like the music and the “bleeps” that permeate throughout thugh Do you need drugs to unlock the full power of this? Feels like that kind of song!
Verdict:
On paper this sounds like something I’d really be into – dreamy, trippy, vaguely shoegazey. Unfortunately the vocals here, particularly the male voice, are putting me off scoring this higher. Get me an instrumental version of this and it will probably jump a few places up the table. Either that or drugs! :pac:
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Reaching the business end of the table now, where 13 is a lucky number for Rosparkle as it translates into points for a 5th place finish with Muse - Supermassive Black Hole
Pre-listening notes:
Ah yes I remember this coming out and liking it at the time. I’m not a fan of Muse in general, always found them a bit OTT but this song has a good groove to it.
Listening notes:
Ah, so the opening line is “ooh baby, don’t you know I suffer?”; I always thought it was “ooh baby, don’t you know I’m so fúcked?” Yup, I’m nodding my head and tapping my feet to this, haven’t the faintest idea what the lyrics are supposed to be about but that’s probably not the point. Only bit I’m not keen on is the bit where he does that weird whispery-shout thing before the last chorus and add the end: “supermassive black hoooooole”. Just sounds a bit silly. Otherwise it's all very nice.
Verdict:
It’s flashy, funky, loud and very enjoyable. More style than substance but that bassline is substantial enough to keep it going. When it finished playing Youtube’s ‘Up Next’ moved on to Knights of Cydonia, which is the kind of overblown pomposity that reminds me of why I don’t care for Muse in general. But this song is still pretty good.0 -
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[Deleted User] wrote: »13 is unlucky for some, but a 13th place finish in this game means at least you're not in the relegation zone! Marflutter gets 5 points for Blonde Redhead - Pink Love
Pre-listening notes:
I’ve heard of Blonde Redhead but have never listened to them before. Now's a good as any to rectify this. On we go....
Listening notes:
Ooh, strange intro. Very unusual sounds coming from those instruments. Hmmm not mad about the vocals here to be honest. I quite like the music and the “bleeps” that permeate throughout thugh Do you need drugs to unlock the full power of this? Feels like that kind of song!
Verdict:
On paper this sounds like something I’d really be into – dreamy, trippy, vaguely shoegazey. Unfortunately the vocals here, particularly the male voice, are putting me off scoring this higher. Get me an instrumental version of this and it will probably jump a few places up the table. Either that or drugs! :pac:
Necro! :pac:0 -
If this was an alphabetical order competition, Aleshark would win every round! But tonight they must settle for 14th place and 4 points with Jim Johnston - Gold Lust
Pre-listening notes:
A WWE tune? Interesting choice. I’ll be honest, I have never understood the appeal of wrestling. Just not my thing. So no idea how this will go.
Listening notes:
I was expecting something very loud, intense and in-your-face here. This sounds very calm and melodic for wrestling! Actually sounds more like video-game music than anything else. To me this music conjures up images of wizards, swords and an enchanted forest under moonlight.
Verdict:
It was quite a nice piece, certainly not the worst way to spend 3 minutes and 49 seconds of my life. But it hasn't made much impact on me, for better or worse. Will I ever actively look to listen to this again? My gut feeling is no.0 -
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Just missing out on a podium finish is Palka Stephenflame who picks up a still very impressive 4th place and 14 points for Xylø – Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea
Pre-listening notes:
Name doesn’t ring a bell…ah a female-led duo tagged with Indie pop, Electropop, Dance-pop, Synth-pop. This sounds very promising…
Listening notes:
Very nice intro, nice voice on the first verse, this is all going well, now the chorus…oh, feels a little bit flat to me. Was expecting something with more “oomph”. Bit of an anti-climax initially….but it’s sounding better on the second go, will give this a few more spins before making up my mind.
Verdict:
I reckon this is one that will grow on me a lot after a few listens. It’s got all the ingredients of a really nice tune, just doesn’t quite come together on a first impression. But still a very nice submission overall, strong enough to make me want to check out their other stuff. 0 -
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15th place and 3 points go to Marshallazora Satanwest for Limp Bizkit - Behind Blue Eyes
The below is just a lyric video because the only copy of the official video on Youtube cuts off randomly a minute and a half before the end (copyright issues, perhaps?) So I'm afraid you don't get to see Halle Berry gazing wistfully at you. Sorry to disappoint!
Pre-listening notes:
My instinctive reaction upon seeing the words Limp Bizkit is to grimace. I was never mad about the whole nu-metal/rap-metal genre, it always seemed a bit puerile. Having said that, I remember when this song was out and thinking to myself “oh, that’s a bit different”, not realising it was a cover. Been a while since I’ve heard it though.
Listening notes:
I’m not a big fan of The Who, so this Limp Bizkit cover isn’t as “sacriligeous” to me as it might be to others. One thing I will say about the original is that I’m not keen on the “When my fist clenches, crack it open…” section, to me it sounds like it’s part of a different song and just ruins the flow, so I’m glad Limp Bizkit left that out. Instead they have this weird automated voice thing going “L.I.M.P…DISCOVER” and, dare I say, it actually works better than it should on paper! Fred Durst’s vocals are more bearable on this than any other Limp Bizkit song I’ve heard and he doesn’t try to rap, which is always a plus. Ultimately though this cover is fairly run of the mill.
Verdict:
It’s undeniable that Limp Bizkit made some awful music and Fred Durst seems like a bit of a knob, but this cover is perfectly adequate and not as horrendous as it could have been. At worst you could say it’s a bit self-indulgent, but it’s still probably far ahead of any original music the band wrote! It could have been a total disaster but instead it falls into the category of “not unlistenable” which, in itself, is as good as Limp Bizkit get.0 -
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Hey Jameslon Barspell, what have you done? It's a nice day to win 3rd place and 15 points for Billy Idol - White Wedding
Pre-listening notes:
Well this is a bit of a classic, isn’t it? Don’t know a whole lot about Billy Idol but I definitely know this one (and his version of Jingle Bell Rock, but we don’t need to discuss that).
Listening notes:
Solid bass riff, simple but effective guitar riff, nice snarling vocals. Punky but poppy together. Definitely very-eighties. Also kind of a creepy vibe to it? I mean good creepy, not Gary Glitter creepy. Can imagine it being played at a Halloween party.
Verdict:
My only gripe with this song is the “hey little sister” bit repeated at the start of every line in the verses – thinking up a few more words surely wouldn’t have hurt? Mix it up a bit, Billy! But overall this is a pretty cracking tune that’s worthy of a very high score.0 -
[Deleted User] wrote: »It could have been a total disaster but instead it falls into the category of “not unlistenable” which, in itself, is as good as Limp Bizkit get.
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On the day that the Oscar nominations came out it's fitting that we take a trip to movies. Alas Lolliclarke doesn't quite strike gold as they get 16th place and 2 points for Les Mis Cast - Red and Black
Pre-listening notes:
Musicals generally aren’t my thing. I’ve never seen Les Mis, neither the stage musical nor the movie, although my sister’s a huge fan of it. I know “I Dreamed a Dream” (via Susan Boyle) and vaguely know the one that goes “Do you hear the people sing songs of angry men…” (via aforementioned sister) but that’s really about as far as my knowledge of the subject goes. I should note that there wasn’t any specific version of this song noted, so I’ve taken it from the version from the film as opposed to a stage production, as I imagine the latter can vary quite a bit depending on the cast, director etc. Hopefully that’s ok with our submitter.
Listening notes:
On first listen, this went totally over my head; without knowing anything of the story (only that it’s set in the French revolution) this was just sing-song dialogue with no discernible tune. It seemed to start and stop abruptly to me and while the actors are clearly enunciating for their lives it still lacked the sense of “grandness” I’d expect from a musical number. Reading the lyrics while listening/watching again did help – I now know this lad Marius has the hots for some young one but his cockblocking friend reminds him that he has to go and fight a war instead. Sucks to be him. Anyway the song doesn’t do much for me I’m afraid, the “RED…BLACK….RED….BLACK” chorus just doesn’t feel “epic” enough, at least not out of context from the whole production anyway.
Verdict:
Perhaps if I’d seen the whole movie or if I was in a theatre watching the grand production, I’d feel the energy and passion of this a bit more. It may well be quite a spectacle when watched on the big screen and probably even more on a big stage but as a stand-alone piece I’m afraid this didn’t do much for me. Je suis désolé. 0 -
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Tonight's silver medallist is Hayesshine, who wins 16 succulent points for Pearl Jam - Black
Pre-listening notes:
My knowledge of Pearl Jam extends as far as Alive and Jeremy. But I do like some grunge from time to time, so this *might* be up my street. Only one way to find out….
Listening notes:
Aaaaaayyyyy……Eddie Vedder has quite the distinctive voice, doesn’t he? I think it’s a voice one needs time to get used to; my initial reaction is to not want to listen to him singing for too long, but as the song progresses and the tension escalates, when he starts to belt rather than mumble….I find myself much more into it. On first listen I like the second half of this song more than the first half; the ending is really damn good. It's definitely an acquired taste this song: on a repeated listen I'm now enjoying the full package much more from start to finish. Very nice.
Verdict:
Had to listen to this a couple of times to make up my mind on it, and the repeated listens have definitely helped. It’s left a positive impression on me and made me more likely to listen to some more Pearl Jam (it’s probably quite shameful that I haven’t already listened to Ten, given what a famous album it is). So yeah, this is a good’un. Definitely worthy of further airplay.0 -
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Our unlucky 17th place finisher for Round 1 is Yompson Hamoondancer, who gets 1 point for Coldplay - Yellow
Pre-listening notes:
Oh dear. I wouldn’t go as far as to say I hate Coldplay, because they have written a few fairly decent songs. Unfortunately, this isn’t one of them. Chris Martin’s whiney voice is at its whiniest here and I’m afraid a repeated listen of a song I usually go out of my way to avoid won’t help its cause much here. So let’s get this over it….
Listening notes:
Intro is pretty nice actually, you’re ready for this to kick into gear and be taken some place wonderful….but then he starts singing. >_<; Putting vocals aside, I can respect songs like The Scientist and Fix You because they’re well written. But this one just feels words that rhyme for the sake of rhyming. We have a nice opening line “look at the stars, look how they shine for you, and all the things you do…” so far so good, but then for no reason "…they were all yellow”. Why did you write a song where everything is yellow? Why is your love all yellow? Does she have jaundice? Is this why you’re whining, because you’re sad? This song has always rubbed me up the wrong way unfortunately, and re-listening with fresh ears hasn't done anything to mitigate that.
Verdict:
Musically this song is fine, it has that going for it at least. Lyrically it aims at sweet and emotional but comes off more like daft, but I could overlook that if it came with a killer vocal. Sadly Chris Martin’s whimpering on this one veers into nails on a blackboard territory. I don’t mind him so much when he sings low but all those squeaky “for youuuuuu” bits go through my head. I fear this will come on or near the bottom of the pile.0 -
[Deleted User] wrote: »Our unlucky 17th place finisher for Round 1 is Yompson Hamoondancer, who gets 1 point for Coldplay - Yellow
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