Is Adult Children Living in the Family Home a Good Thing?

The chan chan man wrote: »

Am I in the minority here?

My parents never charged me “rent” and I certainly won’t be charging my boys when they’re older. They can stay as long as they want! I just want us all to enjoy the time together.

I was never charged rent either, but I contributed to food and bills. The OP has said that she wouldn’t describe her mother as “comfortable” financially. She’s on a pension herself, she probably can’t afford to fund her adult children’s every need.

Alyssa Substantial Mastiff wrote: »

I would say it’s the rule. I know a lot of people who lived at home well into their late 20’s and 30’s or still live at home friends, family member etc and I’ve never heard of people paying rent to live at home. Money going the other way (I.e. parents helping out their children with extra money) would be something I’ve heard of much more).

I was in my late 20’s before I ever even herd of the concept after reading it on here.

Then you must only interact with people who have a similar background to yourself. I know some who haven't paid for limited stints while moving back to save for a house deposit (basically their parents giving them a dig out to support their saving), or in the case of one while she sorted out some debts, but pretty much anyone I know who lived with their parents longer term as an adult made a proper financial contribution to the household.

I lived at home a bit later than I would have liked but I paid in consistently since I was in college.

Alyssa Substantial Mastiff wrote: »

I would say it’s the rule. I know a lot of people who lived at home well into their late 20’s and 30’s or still live at home friends, family member etc and I’ve never heard of people paying rent to live at home. Money going the other way (I.e. parents helping out their children with extra money, hosue deposits, help buying cars etc) would be something I’ve heard of whereas paying rent not really.

I was in my late 20’s before I ever even herd of the concept after reading it on here.

You need to stop thinking about it as "rent", its money towards the cost of the running and upkeep of the home you live in.
Why would you, a grown working adult, not contribute towards the household expenses? Why should or would other adults have to pay for your board?
It doesn't matter that your parents own the house, and it doesn't matter that the cost of keeping you there is negligible, the principle is the same.

They are using their income to subsidise your existence. If they can afford to, that's fine. If they don't want you to pay, that's fine too.
But if they decided tomorrow to start charging you a few hundred quid for the privilege of living under their roof they'd be quite entitled to do that. You don't seem to think that would be reasonable or fair, but it absolutely would.

Alyssa Substantial Mastiff wrote: »

All of which have to be paid regardless with only food marginally increasing with an additional person (in my case anyway as I generally only eat dinner at home and not everyday). BB is the same and light and heat change almost nothing with an extra person.

I also do pay the broadband bill as I had it installed and paying a bill like that is grand but paying rent which hanging over a set amount per week is I just can’t get my head around for someone living at home.

It’s irrelevant to the topic but I also work on the farm at home in my free time and look after it when my parents are away. But without that I there is no way rent would be asked for (it never was of siblings who don’t work on the farm) and I know for a fact any attempt to volunteer to pay it would result in being told to cop on.

You appear to have zero capacity to empathise with anyone else’s situation. I’ve never seen anything like it.
You can only see your own circumstances and the concept of anyone having different circumstances to you seems to be beyond your comprehension.

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Good lord. My sympathy is with the OPs parents. What a situation for them at a time of life when they should be finally able to enjoy their own lives.

I imagine most parents would not share this view. It comes across as very untypically Irish.

n

AulWan wrote: »

Don't underestimate the toll having adult children living at home can take on a parent.

Living with adult children is not the same as living with 0-21 year olds. The dynamic is completely different. You need a big house if you have to share living space with a lot of adults.

Living at home once you're an adult is not a right, it is a privilege. I think many forget that once you finish education/leave home, your parents have done their job and are entitled to live their own lives.

Of course. Living in a house also is not a right. No one said otherwise but it is the traditional approach and is still the norm in many countries where the idea of having your own house before marriage never took off. In many cases its loved by both parties and also eases the housing crisis with many other efficiencies too.

Yellow_Fern wrote: »

Is there any evidence that single young people are staying at home longer? One of the major slow burner factors in the housing crisis is the explosion in older single people living alone. Slow social decay.

I said in a previous post that I was 30 when I moved out, that was a swipe at me

I don't think unmarried women living at home is a new thing in society.

Historically women were paid alot less than men, buying a house was usually not an option. Living on your own meant living in a female only boarding house.

Society is ever evolving. Before you could buy a house on one income ie the man's! Now with both working house prices have increased.... Supply and demand. So to buy a house as a single person now it's alot harder.

In my case the tiger was roaring loudly when I started looking at houses. They'd jump in price 20/30/40 k in days. Yes plenty of my friends managed it, they either bought together as mates, siblings bought together and obviously couples. In most cases parents helped them out. We're on the property ladder what could possibly go wrong?

A friend of mine who works in financial services said the point at which they knew things were bonkers was when an actuary couldn't buy a house in Dublin.

Again in my case the bubble burst and I finally got mortgage approval, I happily started looking around. I had an offer on a lovely new build all was perfect... Sale fell through... Few weeks latter my mam had a stroke. I was the only one living at home so her care fell on me....now I could have said meh I'm leaving best of luck, but that would be abit mean.

A year later I bought and moved out.....now my parents were 100% against renting it's dead money...before anyone says I could have rented

I had no plans to stay at home that long, teenage me listened to the bs of studying, good leaving cert, college, house but what happens for one generation does not hold true for the next.

I hope my children's generation has an easier time than the current one is having at the moment. I plan to help them out in anyway I can and if that means we're all living together than so be it.