How long do you guys expect to wait before sex?

Bigbagofcans · 07-12-2019 4:39pm

In all fairness you made the line 'NEVER DATE A FEMINIST' stand out :pac:

A feminist (not a militant one) believes in equality for both sexes.

the beer revolu · 07-12-2019 4:45pm

Nthclare, you have a very poor understanding of what a feminist actually is.
This ignorance usually stems from an underlying misogyny.
Your whole post has a misogynistic tone.

Wibbs · 07-12-2019 4:56pm

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

A feminist (not a militant one) believes in equality for both sexes.

For the majority of people who will say they're a feminist I'd agree B, however those who self describe as such and have bought into current feminism tend to be of the more "militant" sort. Never mind that much of what was once seen as militant is now much more mainstream. EG if they believe the wage/education/health gap stuff they're at best deluded and best avoided for the sake of one's sanity. Goes for anyone, man or woman who buys into any politic wholesale. Though like I say they're a minority.

mvl · 07-12-2019 4:58pm

well - looking back, I think I am not really the "waiting" type, no silly rules here, other than waiting for ... consent ?!?

tayto lover · 07-12-2019 5:08pm

A friend of mine once said “ I can’t understand why a woman won’t have sex on a first date, because I would “.

Raconteuse · 07-12-2019 5:08pm

nthclare wrote: »

If you're with someone who into you as much as you're into them, it should be a natural thing to happen.

If you're dating a feminist its tricky, usually they're awkward, full of boundaries and will use sex against you, and more than likely if she gets bitter you could end up in jail.

Feminism was the start of the **** testing scenario too, pushing mens tollerence to breaking point.
See how much the ghoul bag can abuse you and getting away with it.
In other words seeing how much **** you'll put up with, because let's face it...
What guy in his right mind would date a feminist.

On the other hand, if you're dating a mentally stable woman who's no issues with men and she's sound, sex will come naturally, maybe on the third date or fourth or fifth.

If she's a good woman, its worth waiting for and sometimes the guy likes to wait.

The worst scenario is a ghoul bag using sex as a weapon to control the dynamics of a relationship, these type of women are to be avoided at all costs...

NEVER DATE A FEMINIST

"Feminism was the start of the **** testing scenario too, pushing mens tollerence to breaking point" - I may not like feminism as it is now, but I'm sure as hell glad of the suffragettes and women's lib movement.

"On the other hand, if you're dating a mentally stable woman who's no issues with men and she's sound, sex will come naturally" - and plenty of those identify as feminist.

I think you should be more specific.

20Wheel · 07-12-2019 5:13pm

After 3rd date we're fading into a directly proportional relationship of sex vs time.

If she feels she isn't ready that's fine. I just feel im not ready to spend more time.

She's not the third date type. That's OK. I'm not the hang around wasting my time type.

Maybe the relationship lacks that spark, and isn't meant to be. Maybe there's someone else out there that is more passionate.

Raconteuse · 07-12-2019 5:20pm

But if someone likes someone they'll wait (within reason) - it doesn't seem great of a person to discontinue seeing someone if they haven't "put out" by an arbitrary point. That implies all they were looking for is sex rather than a potential relationship. And if you're just looking for a one night stand, go to your local meat market night club.

Now as for doing the waiting, what Alecto said - fear of no more contact once they get a shag. It's not a great indictment but it does happen unfortunately.

Ideally it would be soon without these fears if they both like each other though.

nthclare · 07-12-2019 5:23pm

I've no issues with equality or men and women being equal.

But I wouldn't date someone who calls herself a feminist, or is involved in that kind of thing.

Just look at SOME not ALL of the guys who are in relationships with feminists absolute cucks no mind of their own, not an ounce of independence or individuality.

And its the same as women who are in relationships with misogynistic men, totally controlled, unable to have a life outside of his boundaries.
He controls the finances and social lives etc.

So you've got feminists and misogynists both dictating the dynamics of societal norms.

Then you've people who just get on with it and are neither feminist or misogynist...

Lucky for them.

Electric Sheep · 07-12-2019 5:24pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Proper order. You should get what you paid for.

Even then he gets last minute resistance.

the beer revolu · 07-12-2019 5:25pm

nthclare wrote: »

I've no issues with equality or men and women being equal.
.

Go a tiny step further and say that you are in favour of the above and you can be a feminist, too!

Mister Vain · 07-12-2019 5:29pm

It depends on the persons living arrangement too. I'd rather wait a bit longer if it means avoiding an awkward shag with her parents in the next room. I wouldn't be comfortable. I'd be like a long tailed dog in a room full of rocking chairs.

Electric Sheep · 07-12-2019 5:37pm

nthclare wrote: »

But I wouldn't date someone who calls herself a feminist, or is involved in that kind of thing.

Feminists don't date Incels.

20Wheel · 07-12-2019 5:39pm

Raconteuse wrote: »

But if someone likes someone they'll wait (within reason) - it doesn't seem great of a person to discontinue seeing someone if they haven't "put out" by an arbitrary point. That implies all they were looking for is sex rather than a potential relationship. And if you're just looking for a one night stand, go to your local meat market night club.

Now as for doing the waiting, what Alecto said - fear of no more contact once they get a shag. It's not a great indictment but it does happen unfortunately.

Ideally it would be soon without these fears if they both like each other though.

Which is why 3rd date is the rule.

If their intent is to hit and run then they have had to spend three dates, enough of an investment to put off chancers.

Or from the other side, if one party is a lukewarm time waster then this will be exposed, and the more interested party can divest.

Its a mutual compromise.

cj maxx · 07-12-2019 5:41pm

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Feminists don't date Incels.

I had to Google incels.

20Wheel · 07-12-2019 5:43pm

cjmc wrote: »

I had to Google incels.

Male version of feminist.

stateofflux · 07-12-2019 5:44pm

3rd date or 3 weeks max....

jaxxx · 07-12-2019 5:55pm

Jesus tap dancing christ. What is it about sex that brings out the weirdos and creeps. Some people here need some serious counselling. Sex is not a right, it's a privilege. A privilege given to you when your partner chooses to, regardless of whether that's on the first date, second date or after 'x' number of dates or time. F*ck me, has society descended to such depths that all basic respect and courtesy for one another is just cast aside?

Reviews and Books Galore · 07-12-2019 5:57pm

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Feminists don't date Incels.

IMO, the people who use incels have a really low ability to make any kind of argument.

Reviews and Books Galore · 07-12-2019 5:59pm

jaxxx wrote: »

Jesus tap dancing christ. What is it about sex that brings out the weirdos and creeps. Some people here need some serious counselling. Sex is not a right, it's a privilege. A privilege given to you when your partner chooses to, regardless of whether that's on the first date, second date or after 'x' number of dates or time. F*ck me, has society descended to such depths that all basic respect and courtesy for one another is just cast aside?

I agree, but I wouldnt waste your time if your needs aren't being met.

There's other people out there. A lit of other people

ebbsy · 07-12-2019 6:00pm

Half an hour ?

beejee · 07-12-2019 6:03pm

Until whenever I decide to give "the look". They know it when they see it.

Across a busy restaurant, 4 months after meeting, 2 minutes after selling me ice cream... "the look" is the starting whistle that everyone's waiting upon, and ready to seize at any God given second of the day.

Reviews and Books Galore · 07-12-2019 6:04pm

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

In all fairness you made the line 'NEVER DATE A FEMINIST' stand out :pac:

A feminist (not a militant one) believes in equality for both sexes.

Its equality under a supposed inequality. If the genders were treated differently, rather than unequally, then its actually looking for superiority.

20Wheel · 07-12-2019 6:07pm

jaxxx wrote: »

Jesus tap dancing christ. What is it about sex that brings out the weirdos and creeps. Some people here need some serious counselling. Sex is not a right, it's a privilege. A privilege given to you when your partner chooses to, regardless of whether that's on the first date, second date or after 'x' number of dates or time. F*ck me, has society descended to such depths that all basic respect and courtesy for one another is just cast aside?

Another person's time is also a privilege, not a right.

jaxxx · 07-12-2019 6:10pm

20Wheel wrote: »

Another person's time is also a privilege, not a right.

Pretty sure both people are investing the same amount of time.......... The only difference is one is thinking how soon they can get into the other's pants.

^ Btw, you may wanna take a look at the thread title.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 07-12-2019 6:22pm

When it feels right and you both want to and are ready. There are a lot of variables depending on the people, their personalities, what's recently happened in their lives etc.

For me that's ranged from a few hours to a few weeks and in my day there would have been a few that didn't hit the one hour mark. There were a couple of occasions where I was good and goddamn ready and the other person wasn't, I went ahead and waited and to pass the time got to know the non-riding aspects of the person, was grand.

Big ol feminist the whole time. I must get around to falsely accusing someone of rape or my membership will lapse though :rolleyes:

nthclare · 07-12-2019 6:32pm

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Feminists don't date Incels.

No they definitely don't date them, but they more often take them prisoner and chew them up and spit them out.

Incels are white knights or you know, those really nice creepy guys who pretend to be feminists and befriending a lot of women capitulate to whatever is the right thing to say etc

Im a bisexual man, I could smell a misogynistic man or a militant feminist a mile off or sense their anger and self righteousness through body language, its also easy to spot an incel.

Give me a feminine woman or butch guy any day.

And through my experience most feminists won't date a bi guy, but your average woman admires honesty and won't judge you on your sexuality.
But more on your ability to be supportive and be a strong man who's able to help you when you're down, supposedly we're all equal but sometimes one's depressed or upset and their partner have the strength to pick up what's left behind.
Be able to be the supportive lover and hold the family unit together in a crisis.

There's no point in two people being down or having sympathy pains and it's not about lack of empathy more like being able to lighten up the situation rather than add to the misery.

It doesn't matter about labeling yourself with being a feminist, empath, incel or misogynist.

Its about being human, responsible and kind.

Going back to the old sex when dating, thankfully I can take sex or leave it.

Not going to throw a strop because my partner doesn't want to have sex or isn't in the mood.

Quality over quantity i say

20Wheel · 07-12-2019 7:01pm

jaxxx wrote: »

Pretty sure both people are investing the same amount of time.......... The only difference is one is thinking how soon they can get into the other's pants.

^ Btw, you may wanna take a look at the thread title.

The thread title is 'how long do you guys expect to wait for sex'.

The answer is 3 dates.

If theres not enough trust and attraction by that point then it doesnt bode well for the relationship.

Why continue the games? Call when youre ready, thered be no interest in covering old ground. The introduction is over.

StudentDad · 07-12-2019 7:09pm

Reading this it strikes me that the labels have been muddled. There is a distinction to be made between misandry and feminism. I've met a few women over the years who describe themselves as feminist, when it really is used as a cloak to cover their misandry. It really is a disappointing thing to see in action. In the end it boils down to mutual respect. Labels get in the way and in many cases just confuse things.

nthclare · 07-12-2019 7:19pm

StudentDad wrote: »

Reading this it strikes me that the labels have been muddled. There is a distinction to be made between misandry and feminism. I've met a few women over the years who describe themselves as feminist, when it really is used as a cloak to cover their misandry. It really is a disappointing thing to see in action. In the end it boils down to mutual respect. Labels get in the way and in many cases just confuse things.

That's an interesting post, really interesting.

Sometimes I think feminism is like New age Spirituality

A mish mash of contradictions, one says one thing another says oh no you're wrong, then another can simplify it down to equality amongst men and women.

Then im watching something on YouTube and you have Shanty Binx and others on about patriarchy etc

Is there all different factions?

Like in the abrahamic religion you've Judaism Islam and Christianity
Then you've all these different offshoots

That's why i don't understand feminism and only see cringe worthy memes about it and youtube clips

Its very interesting

How long do you guys expect to wait before sex?

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