The witless guffawing of the Dublin native (Mod warning in op)

SuperGrover · 17-09-2019 9:53am

County rivalry and northside v southside and Dubs vs Culchies is all tragic ****e and utterly boring.

Bigbagofcans · 17-09-2019 9:54am

MrMusician18 wrote: »

Not your best work OP 5-6/10. A character such as AvB wouldn't know what the Stables in Clondalkin are, let alone be able to namecheck it.

Great to have you back though

I didn't know there was a place called the Stables and had assumed he was making reference to travellers' horses

Mad_maxx · 17-09-2019 10:07am

dd973 wrote: »

The male version of the breed the OP points out is what I call 'The Dublin Wanker', Dublincentric, arrogant, obnoxious, aggressive, boorish and a bore, accent turned up to 11, they tend to be overwhelmingly working class although there is a middle class variant as well. Many Dubliners I've met whom I'd class as nice people tend to have either country parents or at least one non-Irish parent.

I took great pleasure in my youth beating one up that was bullying me and headbutting and splitting his nose open when he came looking for payback, what a c**t that bloke was, even one of the most odious people in the pub I frequented at the time came up to me saying what a tosser he was.

I remember an Irish pub in Heerlen in the Netherlands (now closed down) and there was another DW working in there, had all the same traits as well, I feel little sympathy when a DW gets wiped out in their squalid drug fuelled underworld as well.

Know the kind you are talking about, I spent a week in hospital in 2008 after breaking a few ribs and giving the lungs a good squeeze in the process

Day two, in walks this tosser from blanchardstown, claimed to have suffered a heart attack but there was bugger all wrong with him, the stupid muppet spent the whole fcuking following six days watching pj Gallagher ( whatever show he first appeared in) on his laptop and everyone on the ward heard every stupid "joke" , he had it on from 7.30 in the morning until nine at night, had several verbal rows with the goon in the ward and at one stage I got dragged out by the ward sister, he also had several hooped ear ring mots in visiting him, they spent most of the time spilling crisps on the floor

Vita nova · 17-09-2019 10:10am

SuperGrover wrote: »

County rivalry and northside v southside and Dubs vs Culchies is all tragic ****e and utterly boring.

And yet ironically, you're using a pejorative label for people from outside Dublin.

Mad_maxx · 17-09-2019 10:13am

Arghus wrote: »

The subtext to all of AvB's posts is that he's really a plain GAA traditionalist, from country stock, whose habits and tastes frighten him to the point of feigned disgust, because they lie latent in him at all times - it'll only take one corporate restructuring before he's back masticating on hang sangwhiges.

And for all his talk of high fashion he probably sleeps and feels most comfortable in O' Neills shorts and a tattered Tommy Varden sponsored Galway Jersey.

Most Irish people are max three generations from footing turf

jimgoose · 17-09-2019 10:13am

Fookin' boorst yiz. Cunceyiz.

SuperGrover · 17-09-2019 10:17am

Vita nova wrote: »

And yet ironically, you're using a pejorative label for people from outside Dublin.

I see your point but I'm using that as a reference to the endless shyte that goes on, not as a term I use myself.

17-09-2019 1:10pm

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

I does like a bit a de aul country accent, dough, 'wha?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvbujX4hXOg

That slogan is hilarious. "Just pay and type". Aggressive business model.

Raconteuse · 17-09-2019 1:12pm

olestoepoke wrote: »

Just wondering, is there a "culchie" version or your generalisations?

Endless ones. Look at the Ploughing Championships thread.

And Cork ones.

partyguinness · 17-09-2019 1:22pm

There is nothing like the sound of a load and boorish 'bleeeeeeedin Dubs' let loose around the more refined and dignified parts of Ireland. They are that loud because they want everyone to know they are not local because crawling out of some Council estate in Ballymun is something to cherish.

I too yearn for a place where working class plebs are seen not heard and preferably confined to cleaning the toilets.

partyguinness · 17-09-2019 1:26pm

angel eyes 2012 wrote: »

Touché

Giving yourself a self congratulatory touché is never cool.

angel eyes 2012 · 17-09-2019 2:46pm

partyguinness wrote: »

Giving yourself a self congratulatory touché is never cool.

Ok thanks for that.

JohnnyFlash · 17-09-2019 2:51pm

Woke Hogan wrote: »

They use a lot of English slang as well in Dublin. "Bloke," "mate," soccer chants at GAA matches.

I personally consider Dublin people akin to Russian communities in former Soviet states: born in raised in the country but still unmistakably Russian. The Anglo Saxon Dub would our equivalent in Ireland.

The Dub is also known for thinking he’s a great wit and mighty crack. Usually heard talking very loudly in the pub and telling jokes from the Jim Davidson collection. This sort of monumental pain the hole should be avoided through any means necessary. You’ll usually hear them first, but you can also spot them as they are usually short, stumpy, wearing a Superdry jacket and white runners even though they are 55 years old. Will often have a huge bunch of keys clipped to their jeans, as monumental pains in the hole always do that.

optogirl · 17-09-2019 2:52pm

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

There truly is a type of ‘insert any county here in fairness’ who seems to revel in being a loud-mouthed bore, and hamming up how common and lacking in class they are.

Same could be said for any other county. there are loud mouth eegits in all of them.

partyguinness · 17-09-2019 3:22pm

In the UK they would be filed under 'common' or 'NOC' (not our class).

Typical characteristics-

White van driver (taxi drivers in Dublin but all taxi drivers over here are Pakistani),
A 'bloke'- bald, stocky (fat), colour polo shirts, white trainers. Thinks Grant Mitchell.
Smokes
A few police cautions
Several broken relationships and kids all over the place
Tabloid reading (if at all)
Drinks Carling or Stella
Is openly proud if it gets into a fight
Racist/bigoted Little Englander
Hates any foreign muck but yet holidays in Benidorm
Drives a Vauxhall Astra or the family guy will drive a bashed up Zafira (Opal). The real car of the WC. SEATs are also very popular among the Boy Racer set who grows up to the be like his dad
Tattoos- essential and the more ridiculous the better oh and a football crest
Piercings
Football loving

The women are the same as above but rubber faced from all the tanning with a few kids with different fathers.

Sneered at appropriately by the middle classes.

Ush1 · 17-09-2019 3:24pm

Being a middle class Dub I get to look down on both working class Dubs and culchies. It's nice.

dd973 · 17-09-2019 3:45pm

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

The Dub is also known for thinking he’s a great wit and mighty crack. Usually heard talking very loudly in the pub and telling jokes from the Jim Davidson collection. This sort of monumental pain the hole should be avoided through any means necessary. You’ll usually hear them first, but you can also spot them as they are usually short, stumpy, wearing a Superdry jacket and white runners even though they are 55 years old. Will often have a huge bunch of keys clipped to their jeans, as monumental pains in the hole always do that.

I was in a pub called The Liverpool (in Liverpool oddly enough) and there was a table of these **** in the pub on a weekend or day trip, about seven of them, a couple older, the rest middle aged and younger and even though they were all sat closely together they were all making this cacophonous din of roaring at each other and laughing in the most put on and extreme Dustin the Turkey voices imaginable.

It was so put on it was cringeworthy.

It's funny as well how these types of Jackeens think they're the embodiment of 'Oirishness', back in the early 20th century it was country folk like Collins and the second generation like Connolly and Larkin who did most of the heavy lifting.

Portsalon · 17-09-2019 3:49pm

partyguinness wrote: »

I too yearn for a place where working class plebs are seen not heard and preferably confined to cleaning the toilets.

Have you considered joining the Irish Labour Party?

dont bother · 17-09-2019 3:50pm

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

I spent the weekend in the Europe Hotel in Killarney with my partner. We were taking a few days R&R and playing several of the better links golf courses in the county. I’ll start by saying it’s a beautiful hotel, and our suite had stunning views over the lakes. The breakfast was exceptional as well.

However my overall enjoyment of the weekend was spoiled by one particular incident. We had booked into the spa for a 3-hour harmonising spa ritual. The mood was almost immediately ruined though by the sound of 3 women with heavy Dublin accents talking to each other, and laughing in that bleating style so common to the natives of our capital city. It was impossible not to hear them, as the accent has an extremely obnoxious and aggressive tone. Withering on about ‘and then she bleedin’ said to me to shur up’, and, ‘I said yous can ruin your own marriage, but you’re not going to ruin mine’, ‘the fat cow’ etc etc. The f word used as a noun, adverb, and verb as well.

Now I had presumed that the price point of the Europe Hotel would be enough to discriminate against people who usually book their ‘girls weekend away’ using Tesco Club Card vouchers, but obviously not. I then thought they would eventually get bored of talking to each other about things so utterly banal and tedious, and enjoy the calm of the surrounding. Not a chance. I went to reception, and asked one of the staff to have a word with them. The chatter stopped for a maximum of 5 minutes, before they started whispering, giggling to each other, laughing, and eventually talking out loud again about which one of the Dublin football team they’d let ‘give me one’.

My German partner was extremely confused about the whole episode – she questioned why people would pay money to visit a spa, and then spend the entire duration of their time there talking and laughing. They did give the impression of being the sort of people who would have the same sort of time knocking backs pints of Coors Light after having a carvery lunch in the Stables in Clondakin. We spent a few minutes in the aroma steam room, which did cancel out the sounds, but emerged to hear them walking around with an intent to cause as much noise as possible.

A quick glimpse at them confirmed the image I had created in my head. Lots of cellulite, badly styled blonde hair, those tattoos on either ankle, the unmistakable signs of premature aging that come with years of smoking and drinking. The type of ‘moll’ whose husband or boyfriend makes his living from what Paul Reynolds would describe as the ‘proceeds of crime’.

The afternoon was ruined, and I told my partner we were leaving. I spoke to the manager in reception, and they assured us that they had attempted a number of times to ask the customers to respect the rules around keeping quiet. Our treatments were rescheduled for this morning, and an excellent bottle of Italian red was delivered to our room by way of apology.

Why does this sort of Dublin native believe they are:
1) Funny.
2) Interesting.
3) Entitled to talk as loudly and obnoxiously as possible?

There truly is a type of ‘Dub’ who seems to revel in being a loud-mouthed bore, and hamming up how common and lacking in class they are.

2/10 try again.

their money is as good as yours.

culchies are worse.

partyguinness · 17-09-2019 3:52pm

dd973 wrote: »

I was in a pub called The Liverpool (in Liverpool oddly enough) and there was a table of these **** in the pub on a weekend or day trip, about seven of them, a couple older, the rest middle aged and younger and even though they were all sat closely together they were all making this cacophonous din of roaring at each other and laughing in the most put on and extreme Dustin the Turkey voices imaginable.

It was so put on it was cringeworthy.

It's funny as well how these types of Jackeens think they're the embodiment of 'Oirishness', back in the early 20th century it was country folk like Collins and the second generation like Connolly and Larkin who did most of the heavy lifting.

I feel your pain.

I was at Villa Park a few years back (Villa v ManU) and there was these shower of Dubs sitting next to me giving it the full Dustin the Turkey and hurling abuse at Wayne Rooney...basically calling him a Traveler. The section of the stand was quiet and they were the only goons roaring and shouting.

I was mortified and I was actively looking for another empty seat to move to.

jimgoose · 17-09-2019 3:55pm

partyguinness wrote: »

...hurling abuse at Wayne Rooney...basically calling him a Traveler...

You'd have to admit there is a touch of Water-Pikey about him, though.

CrankyHaus · 17-09-2019 4:03pm

Tbh as a Dub I do find people who yammer on about their Dub background in a loud mouthed manner to be annoying gobsh1tes. That Emmet Kirwan thing of confusing a life in Dublin for a passport to genius poetic lyricism, a la Flann O'Brien with added Class As, is even worse.

Ush1 · 17-09-2019 4:10pm

dd973 wrote: »

I was in a pub called The Liverpool (in Liverpool oddly enough) and there was a table of these **** in the pub on a weekend or day trip, about seven of them, a couple older, the rest middle aged and younger and even though they were all sat closely together they were all making this cacophonous din of roaring at each other and laughing in the most put on and extreme Dustin the Turkey voices imaginable.

It was so put on it was cringeworthy.

It's funny as well how these types of Jackeens think they're the embodiment of 'Oirishness', back in the early 20th century it was country folk like Collins and the second generation like Connolly and Larkin who did most of the heavy lifting.

Ah Collins, the only rebel Cork ever had and they shot him. The heavy lifting in the war of independence was done by dirt poor Dubs in tenements.

Second generation is a Dub, such as I am.

El_Duderino 09 · 17-09-2019 4:10pm

I once thought the AVB character was semi serious but this is not some of their better work.

The return of the AVB character has not been a success. The difficult second album. Might be time to retire the character and create a new one.

podgemonster · 17-09-2019 4:57pm

Ush1 wrote: »

Ah Collins, the only rebel Cork ever had and they shot him.

That's actually pretty rebellious when you think about it

take everything · 17-09-2019 5:06pm

Wittering.
Not withering.

olestoepoke · 17-09-2019 5:14pm

dd973 wrote: »

I was in a pub called The Liverpool (in Liverpool oddly enough) and there was a table of these **** in the pub on a weekend or day trip, about seven of them, a couple older, the rest middle aged and younger and even though they were all sat closely together they were all making this cacophonous din of roaring at each other and laughing in the most put on and extreme Dustin the Turkey voices imaginable.

It was so put on it was cringeworthy.

It's funny as well how these types of Jackeens think they're the embodiment of 'Oirishness', back in the early 20th century it was country folk like Collins and the second generation like Connolly and Larkin who did most of the heavy lifting.

You conviently left out all the Dubs involved. Do I need to list them?

Earthhorse · 17-09-2019 5:17pm

take everything wrote: »

Wittering.
Not withering.

Nice catch!

ToddyDoody · 17-09-2019 9:43pm

dont bother wrote: »

2/10 try again.

their money is as good as yours.

culchies are worse.

I'm with AVB on this one. You can't polish a turd. (and no that's not third in a Dub accent)

harry Bailey esq · 17-09-2019 10:15pm

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

I spent the weekend in the Europe Hotel in Killarney with my partner. We were taking a few days R&R and playing several of the better links golf courses in the county. I’ll start by saying it’s a beautiful hotel, and our suite had stunning views over the lakes. The breakfast was exceptional as well.

However my overall enjoyment of the weekend was spoiled by one particular incident. We had booked into the spa for a 3-hour harmonising spa ritual. The mood was almost immediately ruined though by the sound of 3 women with heavy Dublin accents talking to each other, and laughing in that bleating style so common to the natives of our capital city. It was impossible not to hear them, as the accent has an extremely obnoxious and aggressive tone. Withering on about ‘and then she bleedin’ said to me to shur up’, and, ‘I said yous can ruin your own marriage, but you’re not going to ruin mine’, ‘the fat cow’ etc etc. The f word used as a noun, adverb, and verb as well.

Now I had presumed that the price point of the Europe Hotel would be enough to discriminate against people who usually book their ‘girls weekend away’ using Tesco Club Card vouchers, but obviously not. I then thought they would eventually get bored of talking to each other about things so utterly banal and tedious, and enjoy the calm of the surrounding. Not a chance. I went to reception, and asked one of the staff to have a word with them. The chatter stopped for a maximum of 5 minutes, before they started whispering, giggling to each other, laughing, and eventually talking out loud again about which one of the Dublin football team they’d let ‘give me one’.

My German partner was extremely confused about the whole episode – she questioned why people would pay money to visit a spa, and then spend the entire duration of their time there talking and laughing. They did give the impression of being the sort of people who would have the same sort of time knocking backs pints of Coors Light after having a carvery lunch in the Stables in Clondakin. We spent a few minutes in the aroma steam room, which did cancel out the sounds, but emerged to hear them walking around with an intent to cause as much noise as possible.

A quick glimpse at them confirmed the image I had created in my head. Lots of cellulite, badly styled blonde hair, those tattoos on either ankle, the unmistakable signs of premature aging that come with years of smoking and drinking. The type of ‘moll’ whose husband or boyfriend makes his living from what Paul Reynolds would describe as the ‘proceeds of crime’.

The afternoon was ruined, and I told my partner we were leaving. I spoke to the manager in reception, and they assured us that they had attempted a number of times to ask the customers to respect the rules around keeping quiet. Our treatments were rescheduled for this morning, and an excellent bottle of Italian red was delivered to our room by way of apology.

Why does this sort of Dublin native believe they are:
1) Funny.
2) Interesting.
3) Entitled to talk as loudly and obnoxiously as possible?

There truly is a type of ‘Dub’ who seems to revel in being a loud-mouthed bore, and hamming up how common and lacking in class they are.

Sorry to hear that Gus, it can be grating on the ears. I actually apologize on behalf of the whole city to yourself and your lovely ladyfriend. It's a curse this accent, and I'm actively trying to cultivate a neutral, rte newsreader tone, I keep making a bollix of it mind, apparently I can't and don't pronounce the letter H. Pain in the ole it is.

The witless guffawing of the Dublin native (Mod warning in op)

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