The witless guffawing of the Dublin native (Mod warning in op)

Aongus Von Bismarck

I spent the weekend in the Europe Hotel in Killarney with my partner. We were taking a few days R&R and playing several of the better links golf courses in the county. I’ll start by saying it’s a beautiful hotel, and our suite had stunning views over the lakes. The breakfast was exceptional as well.

However my overall enjoyment of the weekend was spoiled by one particular incident. We had booked into the spa for a 3-hour harmonising spa ritual. The mood was almost immediately ruined though by the sound of 3 women with heavy Dublin accents talking to each other, and laughing in that bleating style so common to the natives of our capital city. It was impossible not to hear them, as the accent has an extremely obnoxious and aggressive tone. Withering on about ‘and then she bleedin’ said to me to shur up’, and, ‘I said yous can ruin your own marriage, but you’re not going to ruin mine’, ‘the fat cow’ etc etc. The f word used as a noun, adverb, and verb as well.

Now I had presumed that the price point of the Europe Hotel would be enough to discriminate against people who usually book their ‘girls weekend away’ using Tesco Club Card vouchers, but obviously not. I then thought they would eventually get bored of talking to each other about things so utterly banal and tedious, and enjoy the calm of the surrounding. Not a chance. I went to reception, and asked one of the staff to have a word with them. The chatter stopped for a maximum of 5 minutes, before they started whispering, giggling to each other, laughing, and eventually talking out loud again about which one of the Dublin football team they’d let ‘give me one’.

My German partner was extremely confused about the whole episode – she questioned why people would pay money to visit a spa, and then spend the entire duration of their time there talking and laughing. They did give the impression of being the sort of people who would have the same sort of time knocking backs pints of Coors Light after having a carvery lunch in the Stables in Clondakin. We spent a few minutes in the aroma steam room, which did cancel out the sounds, but emerged to hear them walking around with an intent to cause as much noise as possible.

A quick glimpse at them confirmed the image I had created in my head. Lots of cellulite, badly styled blonde hair, those tattoos on either ankle, the unmistakable signs of premature aging that come with years of smoking and drinking. The type of ‘moll’ whose husband or boyfriend makes his living from what Paul Reynolds would describe as the ‘proceeds of crime’.

The afternoon was ruined, and I told my partner we were leaving. I spoke to the manager in reception, and they assured us that they had attempted a number of times to ask the customers to respect the rules around keeping quiet. Our treatments were rescheduled for this morning, and an excellent bottle of Italian red was delivered to our room by way of apology.

Why does this sort of Dublin native believe they are:
1) Funny.
2) Interesting.
3) Entitled to talk as loudly and obnoxiously as possible?

There truly is a type of ‘Dub’ who seems to revel in being a loud-mouthed bore, and hamming up how common and lacking in class they are.


Mod

No more name calling or cards will be issued

Original warning post 126
https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=111278737

Stheno

Ah. You're back.

Montage of Feck

So the harmonising spa ritual didn't have a happy ending then?

dxhound2005

Oh Aongus. I read as far as "Withering on" and I did a double take. What is it supposed to mean?

Peatys

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

Why does this sort of Dublin native believe they are:
1) Funny.
2) Interesting.
3) Entitled to talk as loudly and obnoxiously as possible?

There truly is a type of ‘Dub’ who seems to revel in being a loud-mouthed bore, and hamming up how common and lacking in class they are.

Get over it. It'll be 6 next year

Ipso

Did you inform Hennessy of the incident?

corner of hells

Thank God you're okay , Aongus.

Anything could have happened to you.

Sardonicat

What is a harmonising spa?

arybvtcw0eolkf

Sure we're only buzzin for the half dozen next year, get over it country people.

corner of hells

Sardonicat wrote: »

What is a harmonising spa?

Aongus is one.

buried

Should have gone to Centre Parcs

BDI

I quite enjoyed that. You should do a little collection of short stories like that.

rgmmg

Lord Haw Haw is back

Earthhorse

dxhound2005 wrote: »

Oh Aongus. I read as far as "Withering on" and I did a double take. What is it supposed to mean?

Aongus, being the well read intellect that he is, of course meant to type "Withering Heights".

GLaDOS

6/10

Not your best tbh Aongus

DoozerT6

Isn't the word wittering, not withering? Are both correct?

Have I been thought the wrong thing?

Gregor Samsa

As a Dub, can I say that I didn’t read any a dat bleedin’ shih ya rote.

Earthhorse

DoozerT6 wrote: »

Isn't the word wittering, not withering? Are both correct?

Sorry, you're right.

Wittering Heights.

TheW1zard

Northsiders

jim o doom

From the tone of this post, I'm guessing the OP likes to sit in a small, airtight room and smell his own gaseous eruptions, like he was smelling that fine bottle of red that was delivered to his room by way of an apology. And I'm sure he imagines they smell like roses.

riffmongous

corner of hells wrote: »

Aongus is one.

Literally loled

super_furry

ITT - whinge-bag culchies.

Badly Drunk Boy

DoozerT6 wrote: »

Isn't the word wittering, not withering? Are both correct?

If 'withering' weren't already a word, it might have been a portmanteau word from 'wittering' and 'blathering'.

Sardonicat

Earthhorse wrote: »

Sorry, you're right.

Wittering Heights.

Heathcliff! It's me! Yer wan from Clondakin.
You know it's me-ee, Cat'ee!

Ooh it gets dark
It gets hot in here
In the harmonising spa
I talked a lot
I find I got
Fecked out for wittering
I'm coming back though
Cruel Aoughus
You posh git, you snobby basterd

Bad noise in the spa
I'm coming back just to ruin your night
Me and Jacinta
Just wittering and wittering
With blistering spite

Heathcliff ....

Gonad

That’s what happens when you book a cheap hotel . Should have booked into the Ibis Clondalkin . Now that’s a real hotel .

Ray Palmer

Yeah it isn't like we have to put up with muck savages descending on the city. You should try living near Croke Park and watch them try an figure out how to cross a road. I assume there is traffic all around the country for them to have figured it out

Sittingpretty

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

<<OP>>

That has to be a contender for the most condescending smug post I've ever read on boards. And I'm not even from Dublin.

I can appreciate your complaint but your delivery is abysmal.

kankicker

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

<<OP>>

.

are you from Kerry !

RobbingBandit

Guten tag Mein Herr

Sittingpretty

corner of hells wrote: »

Aongus is one.

Post of the year

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

I wish I had so little to fret about.