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(Proudly) Farting in public

2

Comments

  • #32
    gimli2112
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,428 ✭✭✭✭gimli2112


    Dr. Bre wrote: »
    Colleagues in work do it in the lift ! Disgusting as there is no escape

    you can get off the lift when it stops


  • #33
    Lil Sally Anne Jnr.
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 600 ✭✭✭Lil Sally Anne Jnr.


    I just farted loudly in Tescos and some fat red faced phuck dropped the bottle of beer he was taking out of the fridge. Put it back gingerly as it was hissing up a storm and ready to blow.


  • #34
    Paddy Cow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,576 ✭✭✭Paddy Cow




  • #35
    spurious
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Education Moderators, Paid Member Posts: 27,498 CMod ✭✭✭✭spurious


    phutyle wrote: »
    She didn't say "taxi"? You should have given her sixers, no returns.

    That brings me back. :pac:


  • #36
    ToBeFrank123
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 2,175 ✭✭✭ToBeFrank123


    Wtf ? wrote: »
    I know one sometimes slips out but I have met/worked with people who could be talking to you and let one rip and just carry on the conversation. Some might say ''Good Arse'' ? I was beside a good looking girl on the 41 bus from the airport once,She was in a Ryanair hostess uniform and she let one rip, she looked at me and said Ahh I needed that ? wtf ? The smell was woeful so I moved seats.
    I know we all do it but be discreet about it.:mad:

    Better than farting on a plane with no windows I suppose.


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  • #37
    padd b1975
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,910 ✭✭✭✭padd b1975


    ToBeFrank123 wrote: »
    Better than farting on a plane with no windows I suppose.

    Yeah it's great to be able to roll down the window at 30,000 feet.


  • #38
    FatherTed
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,684 ✭✭✭FatherTed


    Not too worried about people farting. Everybody does it. The queen, Lionel Messi, Beyonce, everyone. Just let it out and carry on.


  • #39
    fussyonion
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,827 ✭✭✭fussyonion


    My fella told me yesterday he was in the sauna in the gym and the only other fella there left, so my fella let out the loudest 'shoes being kicked around the attic' fart of his life only to hear from the back 'Jaysus that was a good one'.

    He never saw the bloke sitting up on the highest bench.


  • #40
    Beechwoodspark
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,295 ✭✭✭✭Beechwoodspark


    As with the OP what’s with this thing of girls letting rip then saying good arse ??


  • #41
    Dakota Dan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,772 ✭✭✭Dakota Dan


    ToBeFrank123 wrote: »
    Better than farting on a plane with no windows I suppose.

    A plane with no windows? I’ve never seen such a plane.


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  • #42
    Dakota Dan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,772 ✭✭✭Dakota Dan


    fussyonion wrote: »
    My fella told me yesterday he was in the sauna in the gym and the only other fella there left, so my fella let out the loudest 'shoes being kicked around the attic' fart of his life only to hear from the back 'Jaysus that was a good one'.

    He never saw the bloke sitting up on the highest bench.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sbowzt_SrII


  • #43
    Gorteen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,111 ✭✭✭Gorteen


    A work buddy of mine let an absolute ripper the other day. When I commented, his response was priceless.... "If you were stuck in a hole, you'd be glad to be out of it too"...

    Not sure if it was the smell or the saying that brought tears to my eyes :D


  • #44
    MAJJ
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,679 ✭✭✭MAJJ


    Got a gift of a flying lesson out of Weston years ago. Very excited and in a small plane with canopy and pilot right beside me. Having a great experience , controls for a bit. Then he dropped a silent shocker, I had to breath in a heavy air biscuit , nearly choked. Big happy head on your man though, made his day.


  • #45
    mags1962
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 395 ✭✭mags1962


    I'm often very proud of my farts, some long and loud some just deadly.
    Was at a wedding last week and just as I was coming out of one of those photo booths and dropped a beaut, next in were in for a lung full of toxic deliciousness.


  • #46
    Wtf ?
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 343 ✭✭Wtf ?


    Beechwoodspark wrote: »
    Is this thing of girls saying good arse a “thing” now?

    I’m guessing either an actress maybe s Ronan or a singer billy elish started doing it??
    I never said she said ''Good Arse'' She said ''Ahh I needed that'' !


  • #47
    Franz Von Peppercorn II
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,398 ✭✭✭Franz Von Peppercorn II


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    I think a professional farter would need to be known for the decibel level and length of the dart, and opposed to the ‘pungency’ of the discharge. Which rules me out. Had a few pints last night and you could sew a button on them.
    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    I did indeed. One of the English kings employed one as well, “Roland the Farter”.

    The greatest of them all was a man they called “Le Pétomane”. There’s a lovely short film concerning him starring the wonderful Leonard Rossiter, very enjoyable.

    The last, I can think of, would be Will the Farter who appeared on “The Howard Stern Show”.

    Long overdue another, I say.

    Surprised to find you two in a scataological thread.


  • #48
    knockers84
    Closed Accounts Posts: 115 ✭✭knockers84


    Remember a one in the office was in a breakout room which is just basically a tiny room with a desk and phone to make calls in private.

    She said to me I’d give that room a few minutes before you go in when she was on her way out. Didn’t know what she was on about and walked in and shut the door behind me. Let’s just say I started gagging


  • #49
    Beechwoodspark
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,295 ✭✭✭✭Beechwoodspark


    knockers84 wrote: »
    Remember a one in the office was in a breakout room which is just basically a tiny room with a desk and phone to make calls in private.

    She said to me I’d give that room a few minutes before you go in. Didn’t know what she was on about and walked in and shut the door behind me. Let’s just say I started gagging

    Was it goggles and gas mask territory?


  • #50
    knockers84
    Closed Accounts Posts: 115 ✭✭knockers84


    Beechwoodspark wrote: »
    Was it googles and gas mask territory?

    Yep dry heaving, was ****ing putrid. left the door open and went back 10 mins later.


  • #51
    fryup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    FatherTed wrote: »
    Not too worried about people farting. Everybody does it. The queen, Lionel Messi, Beyonce, everyone. Just let it out and carry on.

    yes, and even your local Bishop....

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx6hAQmR1fg


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  • #52
    Archeron
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 6,822 ✭✭✭Archeron


    Once let a massive ripper in the living room that scared the dog awake. He was so shocked he just started barking at me and I couldn't stop laughing. The more I laughed the angrier and barkier he got. After about ten minutes we were both exhausted from laughing and barking. One of the funniest things that ever happened to me 😁


  • #53
    Wtf ?
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 343 ✭✭Wtf ?


    Sometimes if home alone, I will fart into my ''cupped'' hand and smell the result.
    Do you smell your own ?


  • #54
    chicorytip
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,522 ✭✭✭chicorytip


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    She really shouldn’t have said anything except, maybe, to ask you if you “smelled bread”, or some other scent. For maximum effect.

    A loud one should really be met with an “exclamation” of sorts. You know, “That one came out with its boot on!” or “Sounds just like a Golf”.

    I’ve said it before on this site but I’ll say it again, it’s a sad arse that never rejoices.

    Did you know that the old kings of Ireland used to retain the services of a professional braigetoír - a flautist. He was used to entertain guests after feasts.
    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    She really shouldn’t have said anything except, maybe, to ask you if you “smelled bread”, or some other scent. For maximum effect.

    A loud one should really be met with an “exclamation” of sorts. You know, “That one came out with its boot on!” or “Sounds just like a Golf”.

    I’ve said it before on this site but I’ll say it again, it’s a sad arse that never rejoices.

    Did you know that the old kings of Ireland used to retain the services of a professional braigetoír - a flautist. He was used to entertain guests after feasts.
    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    She really shouldn’t have said anything except, maybe, to ask you if you “smelled bread”, or some other scent. For maximum effect.

    A loud one should really be met with an “exclamation” of sorts. You know, “That one came out with its boot on!” or “Sounds just like a Golf”.

    I’ve said it before on this site but I’ll say it again, it’s a sad arse that never rejoices.

    Did you know that the old kings of Ireland used to retain the services of a professional braigetoír - a flautist. He was used to entertain guests after feasts.
    "Flatulist", you mean? A flautist plays the flute.


  • #55
    screamer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,210 ✭✭✭screamer


    paleoperson wrote: »
    I think some girls are like this alright though it's rare. They seem to think it's cute and funny when they fart, that their fart isn't as disgusting as an old man's fart. Possibly being reinforced by pathetic lickarse male orbiters.

    It's a disgrace Joe!

    Maybe they just believe in equal popportunities


  • #56
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,991 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    Wtf ? wrote: »
    Sometimes if home alone, I will fart into my ''cupped'' hand and smell the result.
    Do you smell your own ?

    Wouldn’t do it to myself but used to be a “thing” when we were kids.

    You’d give someone a “cup of farts”. Very funny.

    Here’s another tip for a “cupped” hand. Put it just out the window of a car while driving and put it up against the wind. Feels like you’re “cupping” a boob.

    “It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be” - A. Dumbledore

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



  • #57
    gerrybbadd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,301 ✭✭✭✭gerrybbadd


    Wtf ? wrote: »
    Sometimes if home alone, I will fart into my ''cupped'' hand and smell the result.
    Do you smell your own ?

    Username checks out


  • #58
    knockers84
    Closed Accounts Posts: 115 ✭✭knockers84


    Love the machine gun ones


  • #59
    Paddy Cow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,576 ✭✭✭Paddy Cow


    My friend was a vegetarian as a teenager and used to drop some rancid farts. One day we were in the queue in the supermarket. She was ahead of me and dropped one just as the queue moved forward. It was absolutely foul but as I had just stepped into her spot it seemed like I was the provider and I got some fair dirty looks.

    Another time we were giving her a lift home and just as she was getting out of the car she dropped on and closed the door. It was vile and we had to open all the windows but it didn't help much. My mother was disgusted :pac:


  • #60
    Leg End Reject
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 22,665 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    I'd be mortified, some things are best kept private.

    https://forumofgames.com/



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  • #61
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,991 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    Leg End Reject wrote: »
    I'd be mortified, some things are best kept private.

    They must be some stinky “eggs” you’re laying, L.

    “It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be” - A. Dumbledore

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



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