(Proudly) Farting in public

Wtf ?

I know one sometimes slips out but I have met/worked with people who could be talking to you and let one rip and just carry on the conversation. Some might say ''Good Arse'' ? I was beside a good looking girl on the 41 bus from the airport once,She was in a Ryanair hostess uniform and she let one rip, she looked at me and said Ahh I needed that ? wtf ? The smell was woeful so I moved seats.
I know we all do it but be discreet about it.:mad:

Deebles McBeebles

PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP!

Jaysus lads, watch out for that duck.

youtheman

Wtf ? wrote: »

I know one sometimes slips out but I have met/worked with people who could be talking to you and let one rip and just carry on the conversation. Some might say ''Good Arse'' ? I was beside a good looking girl on the 41 bus from the airport once,She was in a Ryanair hostess uniform and she let one rip, she looked at me and said Ahh I needed that ? wtf ? The smell was woeful so I moved seats.
I know we all do it but be discreet about it.:mad:

I'm afraid I have to call you out on this. Everybody knows that the loud ones don't smell, it the quite ones that sneak up on you and overcome you !.

Caegan

All fun and games letting a thunderclapper rip, until the wet bit at the end

Darranj85

A boss of mine years back used to say ''Good arse'' and i thought it was strange and never heard it since,thanks for the chuckle OP

Deebles McBeebles

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP!

Jaysus lads, watch out for that duck.

Rodney Dangerfield style.

You're not of the "silent, yet violent" ethos.

JohnnyFlash

Better out than the gable end of a house.

EmmetSpiceland

Wtf ? wrote: »

I was beside a good looking girl on the 41 bus from the airport once,She was in a Ryanair hostess uniform and she let one rip, she looked at me and said Ahh I needed that ? wtf ? The smell was woeful so I moved seats.
I know we all do it but be discreet about it.:mad:

She really shouldn’t have said anything except, maybe, to ask you if you “smelled bread”, or some other scent. For maximum effect.

A loud one should really be met with an “exclamation” of sorts. You know, “That one came out with its boot on!” or “Sounds just like a Golf”.

I’ve said it before on this site but I’ll say it again, it’s a sad arse that never rejoices.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

youtheman wrote: »

I'm afraid I have to call you out on this. Everybody knows that the loud ones don't smell, it the quite ones that sneak up on you and overcome you !.

What, farts or Ryanair hostesses?

Ultrflat

Better out then in....

gerrybbadd

A favourite of mine is, after letting it loose, put your nose in the sky, sniff and say "aaah, smell that country air".

If the person is offended by the stench, maybe followed by a "ya dirty bastard ya", just tell them to take small sniffs

JohnnyFlash

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

She really shouldn’t have said anything except, maybe, to ask you if you “smelled bread”, or some other scent. For maximum effect.

A loud one should really be met with an “exclamation” of sorts. You know, “That one came out with its boot on!” or “Sounds just like a Golf”.

I’ve said it before on this site but I’ll say it again, it’s a sad arse that never rejoices.

Did you know that the old kings of Ireland used to retain the services of a professional braigetoír - a flautist. He was used to entertain guests after feasts.

whisky_galore

Better an empty house than a bad lodger.

Seanachai

I let one rip in me kitchen last week and it set the neighbours dog off barking! I'd be mortified if it was in public though, I hate it when you're walking to work and you think the street is empty and there's some wan camouflaged into a hedge that catches you blasting.

Wtf ?

Seanachai wrote: »

I let one rip in me kitchen last week and it set the neighbours dog off barking! I'd be mortified if it was in public though, I hate it when you're walking to work and you think the street is empty and there's some wan camouflaged into a hedge that catches you blasting.

Set the dog barking, Love it !

Boom_Bap

(Powerfully) Farting in public

EmmetSpiceland

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Did you know that the old kings of Ireland used to retain the services of a professional braigetoír - a flautist. He was used to entertain guests after feasts.

I did indeed. One of the English kings employed one as well, “Roland the Farter”.

The greatest of them all was a man they called “Le Pétomane”. There’s a lovely short film concerning him starring the wonderful Leonard Rossiter, very enjoyable.

The last, I can think of, would be Will the Farter who appeared on “The Howard Stern Show”.

Long overdue another, I say.

Dr. Bre

Wtf ? wrote: »

I know one sometimes slips out but I have met/worked with people who could be talking to you and let one rip and just carry on the conversation. Some might say ''Good Arse'' ? I was beside a good looking girl on the 41 bus from the airport once,She was in a Ryanair hostess uniform and she let one rip, she looked at me and said Ahh I needed that ? wtf ? The smell was woeful so I moved seats.
I know we all do it but be discreet about it.:mad:

RyanAIR...

Dr. Bre

Colleagues in work do it in the lift ! Disgusting as there is no escape

JohnnyFlash

I think a professional farter would need to be known for the decibel level and length of the dart, and opposed to the ‘pungency’ of the discharge. Which rules me out. Had a few pints last night and you could sew a button on them.

Boom_Bap

Dr. Bre wrote: »

Colleagues in work do it in the lift ! Disgusting as there is no escape

The ultimate move is to fart whilst exiting said lift and the doors close and encase at least 73% of the fart.

keano_afc

I was in Dun Laoghaire many moons ago heading to a friends house. The weather was atrocious so I needed to call him to come collect me from the train station. This being the age before mobiles, I headed to the ferry port to use the public phone. When I got there, someone was already using it so I stood about 8 feet behind him to wait my turn.

He looked around and spotted me waiting, and let our this absolute breakfast maker of a fart. It was genuinely the loudest arse biscuit I'd ever heard, but he just continued on his conversation as nothing had happened, oblivious to me chuckling away like a lunatic. When he finished his call he casually walked away like nothing had happened.

Gregor Samsa

Wtf ? wrote: »

I was beside a good looking girl on the 41 bus from the airport once,She was in a Ryanair hostess uniform and she let one rip, she looked at me and said Ahh I needed that ? wtf ? The smell was woeful so I moved seats.

She didn't say "taxi"? You should have given her sixers, no returns.

Fr_Dougal

Ultrflat wrote: »

Better out then in....

A boomerang fart?

paleoperson

I think some girls are like this alright though it's rare. They seem to think it's cute and funny when they fart, that their fart isn't as disgusting as an old man's fart. Possibly being reinforced by pathetic lickarse male orbiters.

It's a disgrace Joe!

bo0li5eumx12kp

Wtf ? wrote: »

I know one sometimes slips out but I have met/worked with people who could be talking to you and let one rip and just carry on the conversation. Some might say ''Good Arse'' ? I was beside a good looking girl on the 41 bus from the airport once,She was in a Ryanair hostess uniform and she let one rip, she looked at me and said Ahh I needed that ? wtf ? The smell was woeful so I moved seats.
I know we all do it but be discreet about it.:mad:

I hate when this happens.

But to me, it happens with good frequency.

Especially at the gym, typically if I'm going for a BP or something and the chicks are staring at me.

Get to the bottom of a squat and commence the upward push - then the ground shakes with flatulence.

So damn embarrassing.

Normally I don't say anything - I just pull a stupid face and hope too many people didn't notice.

corner of hells

Wtf ? wrote: »

I know one sometimes slips out but I have met/worked with people who could be talking to you and let one rip and just carry on the conversation. Some might say ''Good Arse'' ? I was beside a good looking girl on the 41 bus from the airport once,She was in a Ryanair hostess uniform and she let one rip, she looked at me and said Ahh I needed that ? wtf ? The smell was woeful so I moved seats.
I know we all do it but be discreet about it.:mad:

Aw , man , that's how Ryanair girls come on to you.
She wanted you to answer her with an arse trumpet back.
You missed an opportunity.

Gregor Samsa

corner of hells wrote: »

Aw , man , that's how Ryanair girls come on to you.
She wanted you to answer her with an arse trumpet back.

Little known fact, but that bugle melody that’s played when they land a plane is performed live from the jacks by one of them on each and every flight.

fryup

this thread needs some Billy...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ex8eilkWxgM

Fart

Sometimes you just need to go for a walk to clear the air.

mfceiling

Dr. Bre wrote: »

Colleagues in work do it in the lift ! Disgusting as there is no escape

God that's wrong on so many levels.

gimli2112

Dr. Bre wrote: »

Colleagues in work do it in the lift ! Disgusting as there is no escape

you can get off the lift when it stops

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

I just farted loudly in Tescos and some fat red faced phuck dropped the bottle of beer he was taking out of the fridge. Put it back gingerly as it was hissing up a storm and ready to blow.

Paddy Cow

spurious

phutyle wrote: »

She didn't say "taxi"? You should have given her sixers, no returns.

That brings me back. :pac:

ToBeFrank123

Wtf ? wrote: »

I know one sometimes slips out but I have met/worked with people who could be talking to you and let one rip and just carry on the conversation. Some might say ''Good Arse'' ? I was beside a good looking girl on the 41 bus from the airport once,She was in a Ryanair hostess uniform and she let one rip, she looked at me and said Ahh I needed that ? wtf ? The smell was woeful so I moved seats.
I know we all do it but be discreet about it.:mad:

Better than farting on a plane with no windows I suppose.

padd b1975

ToBeFrank123 wrote: »

Better than farting on a plane with no windows I suppose.

Yeah it's great to be able to roll down the window at 30,000 feet.

FatherTed

Not too worried about people farting. Everybody does it. The queen, Lionel Messi, Beyonce, everyone. Just let it out and carry on.

fussyonion

My fella told me yesterday he was in the sauna in the gym and the only other fella there left, so my fella let out the loudest 'shoes being kicked around the attic' fart of his life only to hear from the back 'Jaysus that was a good one'.

He never saw the bloke sitting up on the highest bench.

Beechwoodspark

As with the OP what’s with this thing of girls letting rip then saying good arse ??

Dakota Dan

ToBeFrank123 wrote: »

Better than farting on a plane with no windows I suppose.

A plane with no windows? I’ve never seen such a plane.

Dakota Dan

fussyonion wrote: »

My fella told me yesterday he was in the sauna in the gym and the only other fella there left, so my fella let out the loudest 'shoes being kicked around the attic' fart of his life only to hear from the back 'Jaysus that was a good one'.

He never saw the bloke sitting up on the highest bench.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sbowzt_SrII

Gorteen

A work buddy of mine let an absolute ripper the other day. When I commented, his response was priceless.... "If you were stuck in a hole, you'd be glad to be out of it too"...

Not sure if it was the smell or the saying that brought tears to my eyes

MAJJ

Got a gift of a flying lesson out of Weston years ago. Very excited and in a small plane with canopy and pilot right beside me. Having a great experience , controls for a bit. Then he dropped a silent shocker, I had to breath in a heavy air biscuit , nearly choked. Big happy head on your man though, made his day.

mags1962

I'm often very proud of my farts, some long and loud some just deadly.
Was at a wedding last week and just as I was coming out of one of those photo booths and dropped a beaut, next in were in for a lung full of toxic deliciousness.

Wtf ?

Beechwoodspark wrote: »

Is this thing of girls saying good arse a “thing” now?

I’m guessing either an actress maybe s Ronan or a singer billy elish started doing it??

I never said she said ''Good Arse'' She said ''Ahh I needed that'' !

Franz Von Peppercorn II

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

I think a professional farter would need to be known for the decibel level and length of the dart, and opposed to the ‘pungency’ of the discharge. Which rules me out. Had a few pints last night and you could sew a button on them.

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I did indeed. One of the English kings employed one as well, “Roland the Farter”.

The greatest of them all was a man they called “Le Pétomane”. There’s a lovely short film concerning him starring the wonderful Leonard Rossiter, very enjoyable.

The last, I can think of, would be Will the Farter who appeared on “The Howard Stern Show”.

Long overdue another, I say.

Surprised to find you two in a scataological thread.

knockers84

Remember a one in the office was in a breakout room which is just basically a tiny room with a desk and phone to make calls in private.

She said to me I’d give that room a few minutes before you go in when she was on her way out. Didn’t know what she was on about and walked in and shut the door behind me. Let’s just say I started gagging

Beechwoodspark

knockers84 wrote: »

Remember a one in the office was in a breakout room which is just basically a tiny room with a desk and phone to make calls in private.

She said to me I’d give that room a few minutes before you go in. Didn’t know what she was on about and walked in and shut the door behind me. Let’s just say I started gagging

Was it goggles and gas mask territory?

knockers84

Beechwoodspark wrote: »

Was it googles and gas mask territory?

Yep dry heaving, was ****ing putrid. left the door open and went back 10 mins later.

fryup

FatherTed wrote: »

Not too worried about people farting. Everybody does it. The queen, Lionel Messi, Beyonce, everyone. Just let it out and carry on.

yes, and even your local Bishop....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx6hAQmR1fg