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Why are men more homophobic compared to women?

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    #152
    Paddy Cow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,576 ✭✭✭Paddy Cow


    Lackadaisical wrote: »
    Just confirms to me that I can't be affectionate in public as Ireland's still full of homophobes with their visceral reactions and so on.

    Hence it's depressing. It's just reality though. Not much I can do about it.

    Think I'm going to give boards and social media in general a break tbh. Finding it's just making me feel angry.
    They're not homophobes though. Some men have admitted that they don't like seeing gay couples kissing but won't try to stop them. I don't like PDA's in general, it doesn't matter the sexuality of the couple and I don't feel bad for that in the slightest.


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    #153
    wakka12
    Registered Users Posts: 9,786 ✭✭✭wakka12


    Interesting seeing all the people saying its instinctual to be repulsed by it. People would have said the very same thing about interracial couples kissing not so long ago and now most people would say somebody was very immature or completely racist in fact to be repulsed by just the image of two people of different races kissing today.

    Theres a quite a wide margin between repulsion and attraction. So no, Im not saying you have to be attracted to men kissing in public. But so long as they are not being sexually inappropriate or over the top with it in the setting /environment in question, I believe it is completely irrational to be repulsed by it. Im gay and the thought of having sex with a woman completely repulses me, but I dont understand why I should feel repulsed at all by two women kissing in public, its none of my business and I just feel completely indifferent to seeing it tbh


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    #154
    wakka12
    Registered Users Posts: 9,786 ✭✭✭wakka12


    Paddy Cow wrote: »
    They're not homophobes though. Some men have admitted that they don't like seeing gay couples kissing but won't try to stop them. I don't like PDA's in general, it doesn't matter the sexuality of the couple and I don't feel bad for that in the slightest.


    To me being not homophobic means treating gay and straight couples exactly the same. Being repulsed by one gay couple doing something and not the other straight couple doing the same thing is not treating them the same.And yes maybe some of the men in this thread were just against straight PDA's and all PDA in general as well but given the fact we are discussing gay people I think we can take it the majority of those type of replies mean they are repulsed by gay couples kissing not straight ones


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    #155
    Andreas77
    Closed Accounts Posts: 183 ✭✭Andreas77


    She had transitioned but still had penis.


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    #156
    kylith
    Registered Users Posts: 17,736 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    Reviews and Books Galore wrote: »

    You know, I wonder how many wives would be happy with their husband having an intimate friendship with a masculine gay man? Like going out for pints, talking about their problems, spending the night sleeping in the same room after crashing out on pints and going for weekends fishing together?

    Himself has gay mates that he hangs around with and talks about stuff with. Doesn't bother me. Why would it?

    I've heard it said that some men are worried that gay men would treat them the way they themselves treat women. Don't know how accurate that would be, but it's an interesting thought.


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    #157
    nthclare
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,316 ✭✭✭nthclare


    Most homophobes are closeted bi or gay men
    More than half of Grindr and fab guys is supposed to be full of closeted guy's.

    I guarantee you that there's someone on this thread who's saying not for me etc ,but now and again knocks one out thinking of some guy...


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    #158
    Reviews and Books Galore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 964 ✭✭✭Reviews and Books Galore


    kylith wrote: »
    Himself has gay mates that he hangs around with and talks about stuff with. Doesn't bother me. Why would it?

    I've heard it said that some men are worried that gay men would treat them the way they themselves treat women. Don't know how accurate that would be, but it's an interesting thought.


    Some women are insecure and are nervous that the gay man will take them away or will see the man as less of a man for hanging around with a gay guy.

    Also, I'm not sure I believe the thought tbh. That's kind of like saying women are nervous lesbians as they are afraid of them treating them the same way that they would treat men?


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    #159
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,102 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    wakka12 wrote: »
    Theres a quite a wide margin between repulsion and attraction. So no, Im not saying you have to be attracted to men kissing in public. But so long as they are not being sexually inappropriate or over the top with it in the setting /environment in question, I believe it is completely irrational to be repulsed by it. Im gay and the thought of having sex with a woman completely repulses me, but I dont understand why I should feel repulsed at all by two women kissing in public, its none of my business and I just feel completely indifferent to seeing it tbh
    I suppose it depends where one's repulsion, or better it being unpalatable(tnx BG) comes in. I fully understand why as a Gay man you would feel repulsed by the notion of having sex with a woman and would be surprised if you weren't. However I would take zero offence from that as a Straight man. Now that said I also fully understand why there might be more offence taken by Gay folks, as they've put up with far more crap as the minority sexuality in society. It's simply easier for me not to take offence as society doesn't see my sexuality as offensive to whatever degree that still exists and it most certainly does still exist.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #160
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,102 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    nthclare wrote: »
    Most homophobes are closeted bi or gay men
    More than half of Grindr and fab guys is supposed to be full of closeted guy's.

    I guarantee you that there's someone on this thread who's saying not for me etc ,but now and again knocks one out thinking of some guy...
    Well what studies are there do show that more homophobes are closeted gays compared to background, and yes I'd not be particularly surprised if there was someone on this thread in that category, but most is a stretch and wearing a tad thin at this stage as a comeback or explanation.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #161
    suicide_circus
    Registered Users Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    If you dont like to watch a bear siring a twink you must be gay


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    #162
    Floppybits
    Registered Users Posts: 7,557 ✭✭✭Floppybits


    Tony EH wrote: »
    We're all going to just have to face the fact that straight men are, naturally, just a bit weirded out by male homosexual sexual acts and straight women are, naturally, just a bit weirded out by female homosexual acts <- this is more prevalent than you think and even fag hags will have their limit, trust me.

    This isn't really a bad thing, in and of itself, though. It's not the end of the world to be, yes, "repulsed" by this. And it's not "homophobia" either. But, it does exist.

    As for the people you know who are "disapproving" of LGBT rights, well, they might have issues that go beyond that.

    Hey, ya know what, the gay blokes I know are "disgusted" by vaginas.

    But, sure that's grand isn't it.

    Why is all the focus on hetrosexuals and they way they feel about homosexual behaviour? What about gay people who find hetrosexuals repulsive? I am sure there are gay men and women out there that find hetrosexual PDA's not something they want to see.

    Its ok not to be excited about seeing to men or 2 women or a man and a woman kissing or displaying some form of affection as long as you are not trying to stop them. Seeing 2 people eat the face off each other be they straight or gay is not always the best thing to see.


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    #163
    nthclare
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,316 ✭✭✭nthclare


    Wibbs wrote: »
    Well what studies are there do show that more homophobes are closeted gays compared to background, and yes I'd not be particularly surprised if there was someone on this thread in that category, but most is a stretch and wearing a tad thin at this stage as a comeback or explanation.

    Im finding it hard to understand that response, it's puzzling and my brain isn't firing so good today.

    I'm not undermining your ability to string a paragraph together, it's just would you mind laying that out in layman's terms ?

    I'm slightly dyslexic myself


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    #164
    beejee
    Registered Users Posts: 1,787 ✭✭✭beejee


    nthclare wrote: »
    Most homophobes are closeted bi or gay men
    More than half of Grindr and fab guys is supposed to be full of closeted guy's.

    I guarantee you that there's someone on this thread who's saying not for me etc ,but now and again knocks one out thinking of some guy...

    Go to a more simplistic example to discover principal.

    The vast majority of Irish people, I presume, would not like to eat insects, have them served up on a plate, or even like the idea itself. Fine.

    Now imagine being accused of

    1) being "afraid" of eating insects, literally in fear, an "insectphobe", end of story.

    2) most people who profess to disliking it, are actually secretly eating them on the sly.

    3) it's "irrational" not to like the idea of eating insects, therefore wrong and bad

    How thick does that principal sound to you? :p


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    #165
    Andreas77
    Closed Accounts Posts: 183 ✭✭Andreas77


    On second night we ordered Dominos pizza and I remember only like it was yesterday as I reached across her bare bottom towards pizza box for additional slice. When I discovered cardboard packaging was empty how we laughed and laughed. I think it was one of the happiest moments of my life apart from city-breaks with ex-wife. Actually this woman was insatiable and inclusion of penis became non issue. I did fondle it and pleasure her down there, and yes, it was shrunken due to medication. A very pretty little piece. Circumcised with sallow skin. It was first and probably last time I had this experience, but men should know there is world of wonder on other side. I took her shopping on last day, Gucci, Armani, Christian D'or. I told her I would buy her any dress she desired. I also bought her sunglasses, and subtitled videos from underground art-house movie store. Last time I checked on Facebook she is very happy in committed relationship with adopted children. I think we have both learned something from this experience.


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    #166
    Prince Andrew
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 10 ✭Prince Andrew


    When I am attending a large orgy I often seek the assistance of a rent boy to help with errands during prolonged bouts of sexual activity. It can become quite strenuous at times and I sometimes find that even with the aid of the little blue pills I find it hard to maintain the long strong girth of my younger years. I lament the days of plentiful erections which I could maintain for hours. Laughing in hysteria as I meandered aimlessly though Victorian dorms of depravity with my rent boys and concubines in toe.

    Happy times.


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    #167
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,102 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Floppybits wrote: »
    Why is all the focus on hetrosexuals and they way they feel about homosexual behaviour? What about gay people who find hetrosexuals repulsive? I am sure there are gay men and women out there that find hetrosexual PDA's not something they want to see.
    And fair enough, so long as they don't seek to interfere.
    nthclare wrote: »
    Im finding it hard to understand that response, it's puzzling and my brain isn't firing so good today.

    I'm not undermining your ability to string a paragraph together, it's just would you mind laying that out in layman's terms ?

    I'm slightly dyslexic myself
    Basically N, it's a common enough response on the subject that sooner or later someone will come along and say something like "anyone who isn't 100% behind Gay expression is probably Gay themselves and in denial".

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #168
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,102 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Andreas77 wrote: »
    On second night we ordered Dominos pizza and I remember only like it was yesterday as I reached across her bare bottom towards pizza box for additional slice. When I discovered cardboard packaging was empty how we laughed and laughed. I think it was one of the happiest moments of my life apart from city-breaks with ex-wife. Actually this woman was insatiable and inclusion of penis became non issue. I did fondle it and pleasure her down there, and yes, it was shrunken due to medication. A very pretty little piece. Circumcised with sallow skin. It was first and probably last time I had this experience, but men should know there is world of wonder on other side. I took her shopping on last day, Gucci, Armani, Christian D'or. I told her I would buy her any dress she desired. I also bought her sunglasses, and subtitled videos from underground art-house movie store. Last time I checked on Facebook she is very happy in committed relationship with adopted children. I think we have both learned something from this experience.
    Holy jumping fcuk. Etc.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #169
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,378 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    Andreas77 wrote: »
    On second night we ordered Dominos pizza and I remember only like it was yesterday as I reached across her bare bottom towards pizza box for additional slice. When I discovered cardboard packaging was empty how we laughed and laughed. I think it was one of the happiest moments of my life apart from city-breaks with ex-wife. Actually this woman was insatiable and inclusion of penis became non issue. I did fondle it and pleasure her down there, and yes, it was shrunken due to medication. A very pretty little piece. Circumcised with sallow skin. It was first and probably last time I had this experience, but men should know there is world of wonder on other side. I took her shopping on last day, Gucci, Armani, Christian D'or. I told her I would buy her any dress she desired. I also bought her sunglasses, and subtitled videos from underground art-house movie store. Last time I checked on Facebook she is very happy in committed relationship with adopted children. I think we have both learned something from this experience.
    Six hobs and all you got was a Dominios pizza!


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    #170
    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    I’ve had gay guys tell me that they find female genitalia and the idea of having sex with women repulsive. It’s okay for them to say that, IMO. By the same token, it’s okay for somebody to find men kissing or having sex repulsive. It’s because it’s contrary to one’s own sexual orientation.

    I’m a straight woman and I personally don’t find the thought of same sex intercourse repulsive but everyone is different.


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    #171
    d8491prj5boyvg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 508 ✭✭✭d8491prj5boyvg


    Church on Tuesday wrote: »
    Not much. I'm not a gay man.

    I think it's extreme (at the very least clunky) to describe a sign of affection between two gay men as 'repulsive'. The adjective 'repulsive' has, as I'm sure you and others know yourselves, fairly negative connotations. If I were a gay man, I would not be impressed.

    It's as odd to me as someone describing a mother cuddling her child as repulsive; it's a fairly natural thing to see.

    I would agree that repulsive is a poor choice of words. There should be differentiation here acknowledging ones personal feelings and the language one uses. Nobody has acknowledged the fact that one can have an inward response from the gut, rather than intellectual. Someone should not be judged for that.


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    #172
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    JayZeus wrote: »
    Except that it’s not. Not yet anyway. It’s still rather uncommon and entirely without occasion in many places around Ireland.

    Change takes time, understanding, patience. You can’t just will things to be the way you hope they become and declare it to be so, today.

    So, no, it’s not a natural thing to see. In time, perhaps so.

    An expression of love, any kind of love, is an entirely natural thing to see.

    I've seen gay people holding hands and embrace out and about. Is it as common as heterosexual signs of affection? no, then again when you run the risk of possible abuse out in public, that's hardly surprising. Depends on whether you live in the country (where the chance to encounter different demographics of people are lower) or urban areas really.


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    #173
    dvdman1
    Registered Users Posts: 512 ✭✭✭dvdman1


    Men tend to think of physicality, this in turn can create a repulsion
    Women are more feelings based.
    Generalisations of course


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    #174
    wakka12
    Registered Users Posts: 9,786 ✭✭✭wakka12


    dvdman1 wrote: »
    Men tend to think of physicality, this in turn can create a repulsion
    Women are more feelings based.
    Generalisations of course

    An accepted generalization but why would that make men more homophobic? Its not a strong argument anyway


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    #175
    beejee
    Registered Users Posts: 1,787 ✭✭✭beejee


    Church on Tuesday wrote: »
    An expression of love, , any kind of love is an entirely natural thing to see.

    I've seen gay people holding hands and embrace out and about. Is it as common as heterosexual signs of affection? no, then again when you run the risk of possible abuse out in public, that's hardly surprising. Depends on whether you live in the country (where the chance to encounter different demographics of people are lower) or urban areas really.

    True enough. I regularly try to french kiss my pet goose, Gunther, any time I get a chance in public. He's fairly indifferent to it, but sure 'tis a beautiful sight to behold, most natural thing in the world. Love is love, afterall.

    And anyone who doesn't agree with it? They're just fearful, irrational people, or else secretly lashing geese out of it on the down low. Deal with it :p


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    #176
    d8491prj5boyvg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 508 ✭✭✭d8491prj5boyvg


    Kristina Elegant Lozenge wrote: »
    I would agree that repulsive is a poor choice of words. There should be differentiation here acknowledging ones personal feelings and the language one uses. Nobody has acknowledged the fact that one can have an inward response from the gut, rather than intellectual. Someone should not be judged for that.

    There's also the fact that an inward response changes with time. The first time you change a nappy invokes a very different response than the hundreth. The first time you step into a nightclub and see all the PDAs (and then some) invokes a very different response than the last. The first time you see PDAs on the street (homosexual or heterosexual) invokes a different response to the last. So, I would not shame people for having a visceral response but that same person should be willing to acknowledge that this may dampen with time and the solution is to see more, not less, of this on a day to day basis.


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    #177
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    beejee wrote: »
    True enough. I regularly try to french kiss my pet goose, Gunther, any time I get a chance in public. He's fairly indifferent to it, but sure 'tis a beautiful sight to behold, most natural thing in the world. Love is love, afterall.

    And anyone who doesn't agree with it? They're just fearful, irrational people, or else secretly lashing geese out of it on the down low. Deal with it :p

    Do you put lippy on Gunther first?


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    #178
    nthclare
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,316 ✭✭✭nthclare


    beejee wrote: »
    Go to a more simplistic example to discover principal.

    The vast majority of Irish people, I presume, would not like to eat insects, have them served up on a plate, or even like the idea itself. Fine.

    Now imagine being accused of

    1) being "afraid" of eating insects, literally in fear, an "insectphobe", end of story.

    2) most people who profess to disliking it, are actually secretly eating them on the sly.

    3) it's "irrational" not to like the idea of eating insects, therefore wrong and bad

    How thick does that principal sound to you? :p

    Well from reading your post you've obviously got a bee in your bonnet ;););)


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    #179
    Feisar
    Registered Users Posts: 6,614 ✭✭✭Feisar


    Andreas77 wrote: »
    On second night we ordered Dominos pizza and I remember only like it was yesterday as I reached across her bare bottom towards pizza box for additional slice. When I discovered cardboard packaging was empty how we laughed and laughed. I think it was one of the happiest moments of my life apart from city-breaks with ex-wife. Actually this woman was insatiable and inclusion of penis became non issue. I did fondle it and pleasure her down there, and yes, it was shrunken due to medication. A very pretty little piece. Circumcised with sallow skin. It was first and probably last time I had this experience, but men should know there is world of wonder on other side. I took her shopping on last day, Gucci, Armani, Christian D'or. I told her I would buy her any dress she desired. I also bought her sunglasses, and subtitled videos from underground art-house movie store. Last time I checked on Facebook she is very happy in committed relationship with adopted children. I think we have both learned something from this experience.

    Dunno why but I'm monologuing that in my mind in John Cusack's character's voice in High Fidelity.

    First they came for the socialists...



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    #180
    nthclare
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,316 ✭✭✭nthclare


    beejee wrote: »
    Go to a more simplistic example to discover principal.

    The vast majority of Irish people, I presume, would not like to eat insects, have them served up on a plate, or even like the idea itself. Fine.

    Now imagine being accused of

    1) being "afraid" of eating insects, literally in fear, an "insectphobe", end of story.

    2) most people who profess to disliking it, are actually secretly eating them on the sly.

    3) it's "irrational" not to like the idea of eating insects, therefore wrong and bad

    How thick does that principal sound to you? :p

    Well from reading your post you've obviously got a bee in your bonnet ;););)

    Thick enough for you ???


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    #181
    Redneck Reject
    Closed Accounts Posts: 587 ✭✭✭Redneck Reject


    Feisar wrote: »
    Dunno why but I'm monologuing that in my mind in John Cusack's character's voice in High Fidelity.

    I was monologuing using David Attenborough, makes it much more interesting.


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