Why are men more homophobic compared to women?

mr_fegelien

I saw this when I went to school and sort of see this in college. It seems that lads have a problem with a man who may find them attractive compared to a woman. And both men/women generally who disapprove of LGBT rights are more opposed to gay men than gay women.

The trend is virtually the same in every culture on earth. Why?

Franz Von Peppercorn II

Im surprised that all women are not lesbian.

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

They don't want another man's penis touching their own. Particularly with the foreskin pulled back.

py2006

ok

the beer revolu

Probably because people associate male/male sex with anal sex.

BDI

It turns women on.

EmmetSpiceland

A lot of men have very high “opinions” of themselves. They think all the gay lads will be mad for them and it scares them a little.

The ones whom it “turns on” tend to act out and condemn the gay community, hiding behind religion or other smoke screens.

Some of these “closeted” gentlemen will never come to terms with their sexuality and they’ll just get angrier and angrier. A miserable, hate-filled, existence.

JohnnyFlash

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

A lot of men have very high “opinions” of themselves. They think all the gay lads will be mad for them and it scares them a little.

The ones whom it “turns on” tend to act out and condemn the gay community, hiding behind religion or other smoke screens.

Some of these “closeted” gentlemen will never come to terms with their sexuality and they’ll just get angrier and angrier. A miserable, hate-filled, existence.

Did you not mention before, Emmet, that you don’t like the idea of two men with beards shifting each other, or fellating each other?

EmmetSpiceland

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Did you not mention before, Emmet, that you don’t like the idea of two men with beards shifting each other, or fellating each other?

You are misrepresenting me know. My issue isn’t with the two lads “shifting”. It’s the, potential, for the “interlocking” of the beard hair.

Two, particularly, thick and curly beards could end up in a tight “Velcro-like” grip that would require a foot on the other persons thigh to get the required pressure to separate the faces.

One lad could end up losing his beard. No loss really but just another argument for lazy men to cop on and shave their faces.

ROAAAR

Just the Kinsey scale innit.
Women tend to be more secure in their sexuality. A lot of men are very comfortable in their own sexuality too mind you.

freshpopcorn

I do think homophobia is more common amongst men.
I'm unsure why tough.
I think a lot of slagging goes on between guys often about there mother/ma/etc and this is similar.
I remember being in secondary school in the mid 2000's and there was a good bit of casual homophobia but people never really said it in front of the gay guys.
I was in town last year and I saw guys from the school getting lunch and the conversation sound the same with casual homophobic comments.
I know guys and they supported the marriage referendum/etc but they still say the odd homophobic thing.
Most people are careful who they say it in front of tough!

JohnnyFlash

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

You are misrepresenting me know. My issue isn’t with the two lads “shifting”. It’s the, potential, for the “interlocking” of the beard hair.

Two, particularly, thick and curly beards could end up in a tight “Velcro-like” grip that would require a foot on the other persons thigh to get the required pressure to separate the faces.

One lad could end up losing his beard. No loss really but just another argument for lazy men to cop on and shave their faces.

Ok fair enough. I’ll admit I don’t like to stumble upon hot and sweaty man-on-man action on TV - dramas these days seem to insist on two gay lads shifting each other at some point during each episode. Must be to show how modern and progressive they are. I usually change the channel.

I’m not homophobic though. Voted for gay marriage etc. And I’ve no problems with watching lesbians make out. Something about two dudes repulses me slightly. I doubt I’m the only one who feels this either.

HappyAsLarE

Men aren’t necessarily homophobic, most love watching two girls together.

What I and many other men find revolting is two men together. I don’t know why, but I suspect it has something to do with our whole psychology having evolved to pursue that which reproduces, and steer away strongly from things that don’t help that.

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

You are misrepresenting me know. My issue isn’t with the two lads “shifting”. It’s the, potential, for the “interlocking” of the beard hair

What about interlocking bushes? Very wiry and lots of lathering juice. Hardly a homosexual issue.

jaxxx

Cos men are idiots. And yes I include myself in that.

Your Face

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I saw this when I went to school and sort of see this in college. It seems that lads have a problem with a man who may find them attractive compared to a woman. And both men/women generally who disapprove of LGBT rights are more opposed to gay men than gay women.

The trend is virtually the same in every culture on earth. Why?

Plenty of women I went to school with would be disapproving of both LGBT women as well as men.
I really don't think it gender specific.

Silentcorner

Some of the worst homophobes are deeply closeted gay men...I suggest you read "In the Closet of The Vatican"...the older you get the more you realise how complex and flawed human nature is and always will be, men and women are different and have different attitudes to the more challenging complexities like abortion or homosexuality, it's not as black and white as some believe.

Rufeo

Man, I've met some homophobic women in my time.

topper75

I saw one theory on a dislike of homosexuality to be based around the low likelihood of engaging in military activity to help protect the tribe. It was males who were expected to do so, for bio reasons relating to strength differential. Primitive tribes like bronze-age hebrews and the emerging islamic caliphate in Arabia of old would have such priorities. This judeo-christian tradition was upheld reasonably firmly in the west until recent decades, where the threat of war on the doorstep has waned and the nature of war has taken on a more tech dimension. Effeminacy in prior days was seen as a betrayal of duty to the tribe but that applies less today.

Clearly this issue applies to homosexual men and not really to homosexual women.

Irish Guitarist

Why should a man have to be happy about another man finding him attractive? If a woman didn't like someone being attracted to her she'd be able to express her disinterest without anyone judging her.

There's a video of a Prince concert where he asks people to dance with him on stage. He's expecting women but one man tries to get up and Prince says something like "not you brother" and laughs. Prince wasn't some knuckle dragging homophobe (most people assumed he was gay due to his fashion choices and physique). He just wasn't attracted to men.

nthclare

I'm bi myself and I can assure you there's plenty of homophobic women out there.

I would date a straight or bi woman no problem.

But generally I only date bi women, because it makes more sense to me and they're more comfortable with bi guy's...

I like the boho style arty types of women...

I only go for 40+ silver rugged foxes inked and strong, not interested in clean cut jocks and hipster's

Everyone's happy then.

Roger Hassenforder

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

What about interlocking bushes? Very wiry and lots of lathering juice. Hardly a homosexual issue.

lesbians are reknowned for maintaining a very tidy garden

Jmsg

Homosexuality is a stage of sexual development which runs parallel to psychic development, the latter of which can be thought in simple terms as the development of empathy. First you become aware of your own body (autosexual), then other bodies like yours (homosexual) then bodies different to yours (heterosexual). Autosexuality is the sexual correlate to the psychic feature of autism and homosexuality is the sexual correlate to the psychic feature of narcissism.

By the time you hit puberty if all goes well you'll already be at the heterosexual stage so will experience urges of that kind. If something goes wrong in psychic development however, you may also correspondingly be lagging behind at a former stage of sexual development, usually homosexual.

In development, the new level tends to repress the former one initially until it can be better integrated at a later time. Homophobia is in fact a repression of homosexual urges although these are unconscious forces and may have never had any conscious expression at all. Sexuality is a far more powerful force in men than women. In women it's of a merely passive sort and vicarious to men's.

FunLover18

Fair play to the people who voted for gay marriage and admit to enjoying seeing two women kiss. But that doesn't mean it's ok for you to then describe two men kissing as "repulsive" or "revolting", that's very strong language. If it makes you uncomfortable that's understandable to a point but that's your problem and has nothing to do with the activity.

In answer to the OP's question I think it comes down to the idea of what's masculine/feminine. Kissing and fawning over men is a thing women are meant to do and therefore viewed as feminine leading to men who pursue men to be seen as also feminine and therefore not "proper men".

ToddyDoody

Castration fear, in the non-literal sense of the word.

Wanderer2010

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I saw this when I went to school and sort of see this in college. It seems that lads have a problem with a man who may find them attractive compared to a woman. And both men/women generally who disapprove of LGBT rights are more opposed to gay men than gay women.

The trend is virtually the same in every culture on earth. Why?

Im not sure you have enough evidence to back this up. Going only by my own experience, I know lots of men who couldn't care less if you are gay or not. I also know a few men that downright hate gays. Equally, I know men who don't care if women are lesbian and a few that find it horrible.

On the flip side, and this is important, I also know many women who don't mind gay men/women and a few that are 100% homophobic so tolerance really does vary a lot amongst gender and even age.

What I never got about the anti gay thing was why some people would actively hurt another person based on where they choose to put their genitals. I just don't get it. What business is it of anyones? Im curious as to what pushes someone from "dislike" to "active violence". The very same people walk past drug dealers selling drugs to kids in their area, so their perception of whats right and wrong can be quite skewed.

Church on Tuesday

God dammit mr_fegelein!

wiggle16

It would seem to me to be more about preserving a self-image of masculinity. Boys tend to learn/teach one another from a young age that being gay is unmanly and feminine and therefore negative, and that male intimacy is a sign of this. Homophobic men tend to find the idea of being associated with a gay man threatening to this self-image.

Girls don't place as much emphasis on sexuality as a marker of identity and don't feel threatened by gay men. I don't have an explanation for why women have never had as much vitriol for lesbians as men have had for gay men, but it's probably related to the above.

As well as that, when people hear the word "gay", they think of gay men. Lesbians are historically overlooked, even when it comes to homophobia - woman on woman sex has seldom been explicitly legislated against, being prohibited instead by interpreting laws designed to persecute male homosexuals; there's one reference to them in the bible and none in the qur'an.

Just my take on it. All of the above is largely historical, the majority of people don't give a sh*t these days obviously.

Wibbs

jaxxx wrote: »

Cos men are idiots. And yes I include myself in that.

No, men are not idiots. Work away if you feel the need to self describe as one, but don't tar all men with that brush.

padd b1975

Rufeo wrote: »

Man, I've met some homophobic women in my time.

I haven't.

Any women I know insist on draping themselves around and becoming best friends with any gay man within a three mile radius.

Strange strange behaviour.

ELM327

FunLover18 wrote: »

Fair play to the people who voted for gay marriage and admit to enjoying seeing two women kiss. But that doesn't mean it's ok for you to then describe two men kissing as "repulsive" or "revolting", that's very strong language. If it makes you uncomfortable that's understandable to a point but that's your problem and has nothing to do with the activity.

In answer to the OP's question I think it comes down to the idea of what's masculine/feminine. Kissing and fawning over men is a thing women are meant to do and therefore viewed as feminine leading to men who pursue men to be seen as also feminine and therefore not "proper men".

If that's what they feel then they should be allowed to express their feelings?
I'd be the same vein. Voted for gay marriage, no problem with lesbians, but, while they are perfectly entitled to love whoever they choose, there's no changing the fact that it makes me queasy to see two men kissing.

Wibbs

FunLover18 wrote: »

Fair play to the people who voted for gay marriage and admit to enjoying seeing two women kiss. But that doesn't mean it's ok for you to then describe two men kissing as "repulsive" or "revolting", that's very strong language. If it makes you uncomfortable that's understandable to a point but that's your problem and has nothing to do with the activity.

I'd have no issue with describing two men snogging as personally repulsive to me(two women not far off tbh). It's my opinion, not a problem, so long as I don't seek to repress someone over it. Watching someone eating something like jellied eels is repulsive to me too, it doesn't mean I have anything against some Cockneys or wish to repress them.

jaxxx

Wibbs wrote: »

No, men are not idiots. Work away if you feel the need to self describe as one, but don't tar all men with that brush.

Really? Look at history. Look at the state of the world today. For most of human history it was men that headed the world. And look where we are today because of it. The world on the brink of environmental collapse. Constant acts of violence against ourselves. Breathe all of that in, then tell me men are not idiots.

Franz Von Peppercorn II

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

A lot of men have very high “opinions” of themselves. They think all the gay lads will be mad for them and it scares them a little.

The ones whom it “turns on” tend to act out and condemn the gay community, hiding behind religion or other smoke screens.

Some of these “closeted” gentlemen will never come to terms with their sexuality and they’ll just get angrier and angrier. A miserable, hate-filled, existence.

That “is” a good “point”.

Wibbs

jaxxx wrote: »

Really? Look at history. Look at the state of the world today. For most of human history it was men that headed the world. And look where we are today because of it. The world on the brink of environmental collapse. Constant acts of violence against ourselves. Breathe all of that in, then tell me men are not idiots.

Oh for fcuk's sake. :rolleyes: Talk about a bloody ridiculous position. I suppose it's an easy position if one's life is easy, and trust me your life is easy. By being born and raised in the first world it's a near given.

Look around you in your life. Pretty much everything you see and use and enjoy, pretty much every freedom you hold dear and take for granted, pretty much every advancement that makes your life and the world an easier place to be alive, the very bloody device you're spouting this rubbish on and the roof over your head and the paths under your feet, have been thought of, built, and defended by a man/men. Not too bad for "idiots".

Jmsg

jaxxx wrote: »

Really? Look at history. Look at the state of the world today. For most of human history it was men that headed the world. And look where we are today because of it. The world on the brink of environmental collapse. Constant acts of violence against ourselves. Breathe all of that in, then tell me men are not idiots.

Exterminate us all then and see what happens. It'll be communist manifestos at the helm, instant revolution and cheering "wooooo the trouble really was the men after all". 2 weeks later however, the schizophrenia would set in and there would be mass suicides. Femininity has just as much a pathological aspect to it as does masculinity. In fact, I'd argue a lot of the contemporary problems of society are due to our now being possessed by a feminized spirit.

ToddyDoody

Jmsg wrote: »

2 weeks later however, the schizophrenia would set in and there would be mass suicides.

One for the feminists.

Church on Tuesday

Wibbs wrote: »

I'd have no issue with describing two men snogging as personally repulsive to me(two women not far off tbh). It's my opinion, not a problem, so long as I don't seek to repress someone over it. Watching someone eating something like jellied eels is repulsive to me too, it doesn't mean I have anything against some Cockneys or wish to repress them.

It's not exactly my bag either but it's way to extreme to consider it repulsive.

ToddyDoody

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

It's not exactly my bag either but it's way to extreme to consider it repulsive.

It is my bag on occasion. I happened upon an Italian instagram which i bookmarked as I thought they captured them well just yesterday.

https://www.instagram.com/twinkitalia

But honestly in my case the gay thing is a very small part of my identity.

FunLover18

ELM327 wrote: »

If that's what they feel then they should be allowed to express their feelings?
I'd be the same vein. Voted for gay marriage, no problem with lesbians, but, while they are perfectly entitled to love whoever they choose, there's no changing the fact that it makes me queasy to see two men kissing.

Like I said, it's understandable to a point. PDAs make me uncomfortable in general regardless of the genders of those involved. But I think people should be careful what language they use when expressing their feelings. I can't imagine it's very nice to have your lifestyle described as revolting. I'm not trying to cause offence or take it but in this instance the issue is not two men kissing but your attitude towards it. You're in an ideal position to answering the OP's question. Why does it make you queasy but two women doesn't?

Wibbs

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

It's not exactly my bag either but it's way to extreme to consider it repulsive.

It's not a consideration on my part, that would suggest a thought process that brought me to that conclusion, instead it's a visceral reaction. Like I said so long as I don't wish to repress people over such a thing as far as I'm concerned big deal.

FunLover18

Wibbs wrote: »

I'd have no issue with describing two men snogging as personally repulsive to me(two women not far off tbh). It's my opinion, not a problem, so long as I don't seek to repress someone over it. Watching someone eating something like jellied eels is repulsive to me too, it doesn't mean I have anything against some Cockneys or wish to repress them.

See my response to ELM327.

Hobosan

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

It's not exactly my bag either but it's way to extreme to consider it repulsive.

Repulsion is not a reasoned position. You can't just think it away.

Sure, I could get all my protein from eating bugs from the back garden. It would be great for the environment if we all did that, and there are many tribes who do.

That's not going to make my repulsion to eating spiders decline.

Cee-Jay-Cee

Is there any way to filter out threads on these sort of BS topics???? Why are people obsessed on discussing every intricate detail on the subject.

Church on Tuesday

Wibbs wrote: »

It's not a consideration on my part, that would suggest a thought process that brought me to that conclusion, instead it's a visceral reaction. Like I said so long as I don't wish to repress people over such a thing as far as I'm concerned big deal.

Two men kissing is completely natural, there's nothing repulsive about it at all.

Jmsg

FunLover18 wrote: »

Like I said, it's understandable to a point. PDAs make me uncomfortable in general regardless of the genders of those involved. But I think people should be careful what language they use when expressing their feelings. I can't imagine it's very nice to have your lifestyle described as revolting. I'm not trying to cause offence or take it but in this instance the issue is not two men kissing but your attitude towards it. You're in an ideal position to answering the OP's question. Why does it make you queasy but two women doesn't?

It's a fact that homosexual sexual activity triggers a disgust response in heterosexual men. To say otherwise is simply to lie. Maybe in an ideal world it would be responded to by mere neutral indifference, but that's not how things operate.

Wibbs

FunLover18 wrote: »

See my response to ELM327.

1) I'd not tell two gay lads they're "repulsive", nor would I seek to hinder them in any way. Good luck to them. 2) The "queasy" is near about the same for two women snogging. 3) now society may want to try to police my thoughts and feelings, but society will be told to fcuk off in short order.

Ironicname

Church on Tuesday wrote:

It's not exactly my bag either but it's way to extreme to consider it repulsive.

Why? If that's how the poster feels, he is entitled to feel like that. Just because you personally don't find it repulsive doesn't mean it's too extreme for someone else to.

FunLover18 wrote:

But I think people should be careful what language they use when expressing their feelings. I can't imagine it's very nice to have your lifestyle described as revolting. I'm not trying to cause offence or take it but in this instance the issue is not two men kissing but your attitude towards it. You're in an ideal position to answering the OP's question. Why does it make you queasy but two women doesn't?

Because to straight men, watching two women is pleasing. Watching two men isn't.

If it makes someone uncomfortable or even repulsed, that's totally fine as long as that person doesnt try to prevent the two men from being allowed to do what they are doing.

Church on Tuesday

Hobosan wrote: »

Repulsion is not a reasoned position. You can't just think it away.

Sure, I could get all my protein from eating bugs from the back garden. It would be great for the environment if we all did that, and there are many tribes who do.

That's not going to make my repulsion to eating spiders decline.

Nonsense. We are talking about a sign of affection between two men, not pest control.

Ironicname

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote:

Is there any way to filter out threads on these sort of BS topics???? Why are people obsessed on discussing every intricate detail on the subject.

Yeah. You can not comment on them.

Tell me how

Silentcorner wrote: »

Some of the worst homophobes are deeply closeted gay men...I suggest you read "In the Closet of The Vatican"...the older you get the more you realise how complex and flawed human nature is and always will be, men and women are different and have different attitudes to the more challenging complexities like abortion or homosexuality, it's not as black and white as some believe.

I can see how women would have different attitudes to men (as a group) in relation to abortion but I don't see how it would necessarily apply for homosexuality.

Agree though on homophobes and being closeted. There was a story earlier this year of David Matheson, a former gay conversion therapist in the US, announcing that he was himself gay.

We see so many topics suggesting gender defines a view or position and I would argue that it is more likely environment which helps form that opinion rather than your gender. You put a female child in to a family environment where the leaders are overtly homophobic, that child is as likely to be homophobic as if they were a boy.
Maybe because males often were more in environments where making uncouth statements were tolerated (again because of environment rather than gender) more males grew to express their views more readily than females.