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Why are men more homophobic compared to women?

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  • 26-08-2019 2:29pm
    #1
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,483 ✭✭✭


    I saw this when I went to school and sort of see this in college. It seems that lads have a problem with a man who may find them attractive compared to a woman. And both men/women generally who disapprove of LGBT rights are more opposed to gay men than gay women.

    The trend is virtually the same in every culture on earth. Why?


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,398 ✭✭✭Franz Von Peppercorn II


    Im surprised that all women are not lesbian.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 600 ✭✭✭Lil Sally Anne Jnr.


    They don't want another man's penis touching their own. Particularly with the foreskin pulled back.


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,847 ✭✭✭py2006


    ok


  • Registered Users Posts: 16,780 ✭✭✭✭the beer revolu


    Probably because people associate male/male sex with anal sex.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,005 ✭✭✭BDI


    It turns women on.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 10,541 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    A lot of men have very high “opinions” of themselves. They think all the gay lads will be mad for them and it scares them a little.

    The ones whom it “turns on” tend to act out and condemn the gay community, hiding behind religion or other smoke screens.

    Some of these “closeted” gentlemen will never come to terms with their sexuality and they’ll just get angrier and angrier. A miserable, hate-filled, existence.

    The tide is turning…



  • Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    A lot of men have very high “opinions” of themselves. They think all the gay lads will be mad for them and it scares them a little.

    The ones whom it “turns on” tend to act out and condemn the gay community, hiding behind religion or other smoke screens.

    Some of these “closeted” gentlemen will never come to terms with their sexuality and they’ll just get angrier and angrier. A miserable, hate-filled, existence.

    Did you not mention before, Emmet, that you don’t like the idea of two men with beards shifting each other, or fellating each other?


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,541 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    Did you not mention before, Emmet, that you don’t like the idea of two men with beards shifting each other, or fellating each other?

    You are misrepresenting me know. My issue isn’t with the two lads “shifting”. It’s the, potential, for the “interlocking” of the beard hair.

    Two, particularly, thick and curly beards could end up in a tight “Velcro-like” grip that would require a foot on the other persons thigh to get the required pressure to separate the faces.

    One lad could end up losing his beard. No loss really but just another argument for lazy men to cop on and shave their faces.

    The tide is turning…



  • Registered Users Posts: 316 ✭✭ROAAAR


    Just the Kinsey scale innit.
    Women tend to be more secure in their sexuality. A lot of men are very comfortable in their own sexuality too mind you.


  • Registered Users Posts: 30,226 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    I do think homophobia is more common amongst men.
    I'm unsure why tough.
    I think a lot of slagging goes on between guys often about there mother/ma/etc and this is similar.
    I remember being in secondary school in the mid 2000's and there was a good bit of casual homophobia but people never really said it in front of the gay guys.
    I was in town last year and I saw guys from the school getting lunch and the conversation sound the same with casual homophobic comments.
    I know guys and they supported the marriage referendum/etc but they still say the odd homophobic thing.
    Most people are careful who they say it in front of tough!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    You are misrepresenting me know. My issue isn’t with the two lads “shifting”. It’s the, potential, for the “interlocking” of the beard hair.

    Two, particularly, thick and curly beards could end up in a tight “Velcro-like” grip that would require a foot on the other persons thigh to get the required pressure to separate the faces.

    One lad could end up losing his beard. No loss really but just another argument for lazy men to cop on and shave their faces.

    Ok fair enough. I’ll admit I don’t like to stumble upon hot and sweaty man-on-man action on TV - dramas these days seem to insist on two gay lads shifting each other at some point during each episode. Must be to show how modern and progressive they are. I usually change the channel.

    I’m not homophobic though. Voted for gay marriage etc. And I’ve no problems with watching lesbians make out. Something about two dudes repulses me slightly. I doubt I’m the only one who feels this either.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 771 ✭✭✭HappyAsLarE


    Men aren’t necessarily homophobic, most love watching two girls together.

    What I and many other men find revolting is two men together. I don’t know why, but I suspect it has something to do with our whole psychology having evolved to pursue that which reproduces, and steer away strongly from things that don’t help that.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 600 ✭✭✭Lil Sally Anne Jnr.


    You are misrepresenting me know. My issue isn’t with the two lads “shifting”. It’s the, potential, for the “interlocking” of the beard hair

    What about interlocking bushes? Very wiry and lots of lathering juice. Hardly a homosexual issue.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,230 ✭✭✭jaxxx


    Cos men are idiots. And yes I include myself in that.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,277 ✭✭✭Your Face


    I saw this when I went to school and sort of see this in college. It seems that lads have a problem with a man who may find them attractive compared to a woman. And both men/women generally who disapprove of LGBT rights are more opposed to gay men than gay women.

    The trend is virtually the same in every culture on earth. Why?


    Plenty of women I went to school with would be disapproving of both LGBT women as well as men.
    I really don't think it gender specific.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,175 ✭✭✭Silentcorner


    Some of the worst homophobes are deeply closeted gay men...I suggest you read "In the Closet of The Vatican"...the older you get the more you realise how complex and flawed human nature is and always will be, men and women are different and have different attitudes to the more challenging complexities like abortion or homosexuality, it's not as black and white as some believe.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 503 ✭✭✭Rufeo


    Man, I've met some homophobic women in my time.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,942 ✭✭✭topper75


    I saw one theory on a dislike of homosexuality to be based around the low likelihood of engaging in military activity to help protect the tribe. It was males who were expected to do so, for bio reasons relating to strength differential. Primitive tribes like bronze-age hebrews and the emerging islamic caliphate in Arabia of old would have such priorities. This judeo-christian tradition was upheld reasonably firmly in the west until recent decades, where the threat of war on the doorstep has waned and the nature of war has taken on a more tech dimension. Effeminacy in prior days was seen as a betrayal of duty to the tribe but that applies less today.

    Clearly this issue applies to homosexual men and not really to homosexual women.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,736 ✭✭✭Irish Guitarist


    Why should a man have to be happy about another man finding him attractive? If a woman didn't like someone being attracted to her she'd be able to express her disinterest without anyone judging her.

    There's a video of a Prince concert where he asks people to dance with him on stage. He's expecting women but one man tries to get up and Prince says something like "not you brother" and laughs. Prince wasn't some knuckle dragging homophobe (most people assumed he was gay due to his fashion choices and physique). He just wasn't attracted to men.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,316 ✭✭✭nthclare


    I'm bi myself and I can assure you there's plenty of homophobic women out there.

    I would date a straight or bi woman no problem.

    But generally I only date bi women, because it makes more sense to me and they're more comfortable with bi guy's...

    I like the boho style arty types of women...

    I only go for 40+ silver rugged foxes inked and strong, not interested in clean cut jocks and hipster's

    Everyone's happy then.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,555 ✭✭✭Roger Hassenforder


    What about interlocking bushes? Very wiry and lots of lathering juice. Hardly a homosexual issue.


    lesbians are reknowned for maintaining a very tidy garden


  • Registered Users Posts: 85 ✭✭Jmsg


    Homosexuality is a stage of sexual development which runs parallel to psychic development, the latter of which can be thought in simple terms as the development of empathy. First you become aware of your own body (autosexual), then other bodies like yours (homosexual) then bodies different to yours (heterosexual). Autosexuality is the sexual correlate to the psychic feature of autism and homosexuality is the sexual correlate to the psychic feature of narcissism.

    By the time you hit puberty if all goes well you'll already be at the heterosexual stage so will experience urges of that kind. If something goes wrong in psychic development however, you may also correspondingly be lagging behind at a former stage of sexual development, usually homosexual.

    In development, the new level tends to repress the former one initially until it can be better integrated at a later time. Homophobia is in fact a repression of homosexual urges although these are unconscious forces and may have never had any conscious expression at all. Sexuality is a far more powerful force in men than women. In women it's of a merely passive sort and vicarious to men's.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,793 ✭✭✭FunLover18


    Fair play to the people who voted for gay marriage and admit to enjoying seeing two women kiss. But that doesn't mean it's ok for you to then describe two men kissing as "repulsive" or "revolting", that's very strong language. If it makes you uncomfortable that's understandable to a point but that's your problem and has nothing to do with the activity.

    In answer to the OP's question I think it comes down to the idea of what's masculine/feminine. Kissing and fawning over men is a thing women are meant to do and therefore viewed as feminine leading to men who pursue men to be seen as also feminine and therefore not "proper men".


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,421 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    Castration fear, in the non-literal sense of the word.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,670 ✭✭✭Wanderer2010


    I saw this when I went to school and sort of see this in college. It seems that lads have a problem with a man who may find them attractive compared to a woman. And both men/women generally who disapprove of LGBT rights are more opposed to gay men than gay women.

    The trend is virtually the same in every culture on earth. Why?

    Im not sure you have enough evidence to back this up. Going only by my own experience, I know lots of men who couldn't care less if you are gay or not. I also know a few men that downright hate gays. Equally, I know men who don't care if women are lesbian and a few that find it horrible.

    On the flip side, and this is important, I also know many women who don't mind gay men/women and a few that are 100% homophobic so tolerance really does vary a lot amongst gender and even age.

    What I never got about the anti gay thing was why some people would actively hurt another person based on where they choose to put their genitals. I just don't get it. What business is it of anyones? Im curious as to what pushes someone from "dislike" to "active violence". The very same people walk past drug dealers selling drugs to kids in their area, so their perception of whats right and wrong can be quite skewed.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    God dammit mr_fegelein!



  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 3,022 Mod ✭✭✭✭wiggle16


    It would seem to me to be more about preserving a self-image of masculinity. Boys tend to learn/teach one another from a young age that being gay is unmanly and feminine and therefore negative, and that male intimacy is a sign of this. Homophobic men tend to find the idea of being associated with a gay man threatening to this self-image.

    Girls don't place as much emphasis on sexuality as a marker of identity and don't feel threatened by gay men. I don't have an explanation for why women have never had as much vitriol for lesbians as men have had for gay men, but it's probably related to the above.

    As well as that, when people hear the word "gay", they think of gay men. Lesbians are historically overlooked, even when it comes to homophobia - woman on woman sex has seldom been explicitly legislated against, being prohibited instead by interpreting laws designed to persecute male homosexuals; there's one reference to them in the bible and none in the qur'an.

    Just my take on it. All of the above is largely historical, the majority of people don't give a sh*t these days obviously.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,076 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    jaxxx wrote: »
    Cos men are idiots. And yes I include myself in that.
    No, men are not idiots. Work away if you feel the need to self describe as one, but don't tar all men with that brush.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • Registered Users Posts: 10,704 ✭✭✭✭padd b1975


    Rufeo wrote: »
    Man, I've met some homophobic women in my time.

    I haven't.

    Any women I know insist on draping themselves around and becoming best friends with any gay man within a three mile radius.

    Strange strange behaviour.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 21,458 ✭✭✭✭ELM327


    FunLover18 wrote: »
    Fair play to the people who voted for gay marriage and admit to enjoying seeing two women kiss. But that doesn't mean it's ok for you to then describe two men kissing as "repulsive" or "revolting", that's very strong language. If it makes you uncomfortable that's understandable to a point but that's your problem and has nothing to do with the activity.

    In answer to the OP's question I think it comes down to the idea of what's masculine/feminine. Kissing and fawning over men is a thing women are meant to do and therefore viewed as feminine leading to men who pursue men to be seen as also feminine and therefore not "proper men".


    If that's what they feel then they should be allowed to express their feelings?
    I'd be the same vein. Voted for gay marriage, no problem with lesbians, but, while they are perfectly entitled to love whoever they choose, there's no changing the fact that it makes me queasy to see two men kissing.


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