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How is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century

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  • 31-05-2019 2:54pm
    #1
    jimjangles
    Registered Users Posts: 165 ✭✭


    I've tried online dating sites and they're absolutely useless.
    I'm not ugly but it would seem by my terrible lack of popularity that I don't have the looks for online dating.
    Whatever they're looking for online it's not me.
    Also I have no kind of a social life anymore.
    Also I'm 37 and I'm a man.
    So if online dating doesn't work and I have no social life and I live in the midlands seems things aren't really going to work out too good for me for finding someone ever.
    I should probably just forget about it.


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    #2
    BENDYBINN
    Registered Users Posts: 1,826 ✭✭✭BENDYBINN


    Lissdoonvarna is the place for you!


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    #3
    Autosport
    Registered Users Posts: 22,249 ✭✭✭✭Autosport


    Boards is a good place to meet someone and even a few have a stalker :D


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    #4
    jimjangles
    Registered Users Posts: 165 ✭✭jimjangles


    BENDYBINN wrote: »
    Lissdoonvarna is the place for you!

    Nope.


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    #5
    GBX
    Registered Users Posts: 11,927 ✭✭✭✭GBX


    Have ya frontage.. the wimmen love that in the country


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    #6
    Deebles McBeebles
    Registered Users Posts: 5,754 ✭✭✭Deebles McBeebles


    Are you me a year from now? Freaky.


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    #7
    bigpink
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,552 ✭✭✭bigpink


    Try foreign women chatting with my male friends and colleagues last few years


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    #8
    BENDYBINN
    Registered Users Posts: 1,826 ✭✭✭BENDYBINN


    jimjangles wrote: »
    Nope.

    That’s it your too fussy....


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    #9
    Allinall
    Registered Users Posts: 6,568 ✭✭✭Allinall


    Take one night out of your busy life and head to Coppers.

    You'll be sorted, like.


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    #10
    branie2
    Registered Users Posts: 10,298 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    The pub


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    #11
    Rodin
    Registered Users Posts: 3,130 ✭✭✭Rodin


    jimjangles wrote: »
    I've tried online dating sites and they're absolutely useless.
    I'm not ugly but it would seem by my terrible lack of popularity that I don't have the looks for online dating.
    Whatever they're looking for online it's not me.
    Also I have no kind of a social life anymore.
    Also I'm 37 and I'm a man.
    So if online dating doesn't work and I have no social life and I live in the midlands seems things aren't really going to work out too good for me for finding someone ever.
    I should probably just forget about it.

    You could try stopping your whinging.
    Women hate a yap.

    Go take up some sports/activities/walking/hiking/cycling. You'll already know the people you meet have similar interests to you.


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    #12
    amcalester
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,121 ✭✭✭amcalester


    How much road frontage have you?

    It’s all about frontage.


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    #13
    Cee-Jay-Cee
    Registered Users Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Cee-Jay-Cee


    Thailand..and bring some money.


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    #14
    Your Face
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,277 ✭✭✭Your Face


    All I can say is to go outside of your comfort zone.
    Head to a pub and see if you can get chatting to any women.
    I know - that's easier said than done


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    #15
    The Rape of Lucretia
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,440 ✭✭✭The Rape of Lucretia


    Rodin wrote: »
    You could try stopping your whinging.
    Women hate a yap.

    True. They hate having competition on that front.


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    #16
    Ted_YNWA
    Registered Users Posts: 71,799 ✭✭✭✭Ted_YNWA


    Autosport wrote: »
    Boards is a good place to meet someone and even a few have a stalker :D

    I can attest to this.


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    #17
    amcalester
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,121 ✭✭✭amcalester


    Your Face wrote: »
    All I can say is to go outside of your comfort zone

    Get a boyfriend, can’t get much more outside your comfort zone than that.


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    #18
    DEFTLEFTHAND
    Registered Users Posts: 16,500 ✭✭✭✭DEFTLEFTHAND


    You have to make a social life for yourself, you won't meet anybody sitting at home.

    Take up a hobby of some sort and join a club. You'll meet loads of new faces.


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    #19
    .Charlo
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 335 ✭✭.Charlo


    Outside your house, anywhere. Give up that online dating shìte, I've seen friends turned into weirdos over that craic.


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    #20
    El_Bee
    Registered Users Posts: 933 ✭✭✭El_Bee


    jimjangles wrote: »
    I've tried online dating sites and they're absolutely useless.
    I'm not ugly but it would seem by my terrible lack of popularity that I don't have the looks for online dating.
    Whatever they're looking for online it's not me.
    Also I have no kind of a social life anymore.
    Also I'm 37 and I'm a man.
    So if online dating doesn't work and I have no social life and I live in the midlands seems things aren't really going to work out too good for me for finding someone ever.
    I should probably just forget about it.


    24ADB20019B5D0A84AC04EA1DAC17A92B386E376


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    #21
    swarlb
    Registered Users Posts: 1,244 ✭✭✭swarlb


    I found one in the 20th century... trust me, you're better off without.... but then again, youth is wasted on the young... and the young don't listen.


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    #22
    CrankyHaus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,281 ✭✭✭CrankyHaus


    37 is probably one of the stages in a man's life where it's easiest to pull, so no need to give up for another 13 years at least.

    Just put some thought and effort in and you'll be flying.
    Obviously a picture on Tinder with "hey" only works for a particularly attractive minority. Women will spot half assing and moaning a mile away, so avoid that.

    If you have no social life change that by engaging in groups of whatever activity, hobby or topic you're into. It will keep your social skills and confidence up while putting you on touch with potential partners.


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    #23
    weldoninhio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,311 ✭✭✭✭weldoninhio


    jimjangles wrote: »
    I've tried online dating sites and they're absolutely useless.
    I'm not ugly but it would seem by my terrible lack of popularity that I don't have the looks for online dating.
    Whatever they're looking for online it's not me.
    Also I have no kind of a social life anymore.
    Also I'm 37 and I'm a man.
    So if online dating doesn't work and I have no social life and I live in the midlands seems things aren't really going to work out too good for me for finding someone ever.
    I should probably just forget about it.

    I'm the same, although I have a great social life. But after becoming recently single it's near impossible to get a reply on online dating sites. I think a lot of profiles must be unused, but kept up to make the site look popular. Before I got my last girlfriend about a year ago I would always be chatting to a few girls online.


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    #24
    Tell me how
    Registered Users Posts: 21,520 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    jimjangles wrote: »
    I've tried online dating sites and they're absolutely useless.
    I'm not ugly but it would seem by my terrible lack of popularity that I don't have the looks for online dating.
    Whatever they're looking for online it's not me.
    Also I have no kind of a social life anymore.
    Also I'm 37 and I'm a man.
    So if online dating doesn't work and I have no social life and I live in the midlands seems things aren't really going to work out too good for me for finding someone ever.
    I should probably just forget about it.

    Have you tried to initiate conversations with potential dates?
    Have you had someone review your profile?
    Have you had any dates which you could take some feedback from?
    Have you friends or siblings who you could let know you are interested in meeting someone and see if they suggest anyone?
    Could they give you feedback on your style/demeanour? (Try to take this as constructive criticism)

    Have you hobbies or interests which you could engage in even if on your own?
    At 37 few people are still going out on the town every week, a social life could be one night drinks and a couple nights cinema or dinner a month. Could you ask friends/work colleagues if they are up for something in the next month or so, (not that that is what is needed to meet someone and if anything, if you turn a night out with friends in to you trying to meet someone, they might not be so quick to come out the next night).


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    #25
    Blitzkrieger
    Registered Users Posts: 6,661 ✭✭✭Blitzkrieger


    jimjangles wrote: »
    I should probably just forget about it.

    Yeah, sort of.

    They say women can smell desperation, so trying to get out and socialise and try to do hobbies and activities that include women is the best way to go. The goal is to get out and have fun and meet people rather than focusing too much on dating. It's all about increasing the pool size - if you meet and get to know more women, you might meet one that you click with.

    Don't give up on the online dating. It is hard, but again it's about increasing the pool size. You've at least the opportunity to interact with a lot more single women online than you'll meet in the real world. Psychologists increasing talk about the dangers to mental health from online dating, especially apps like tinder, so try not to get too invested in it. For some people it ends up like an addiction. But again, the bottom line is it's an opportunity to meet more women.

    Lastly, there is the more off the wall things. I'm not sure how many speed dating events or the like there is in the midlands, but (broken record time) it's all about increasing your opportunities to meet women. Maybe travel to a nearby city for singles events. I also saw an ad for a company offering singles holidays, ones specifically targeted at people who are trying to meet someone, rather than the usual People Alone Traveling Together. Could be fun - even if you don't meet someone at least you've had a holiday.

    I'll end with a disclaimer - I'm in the same boat myself OP so my advice is what I've gleaned from experts in the area (sociology and online dating) rather than anything that has actually worked for me.


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    #26
    Walter Bishop
    Registered Users Posts: 557 ✭✭✭Walter Bishop


    What did you put in your profile on the sites? Chances are it's terrible tbh.


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    #27
    mistress_gi
    Registered Users Posts: 963 ✭✭✭mistress_gi


    I'm a lady and in the same situation
    "wink wink" :)


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    #28
    weldoninhio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,311 ✭✭✭✭weldoninhio


    mistress_gi wrote: »
    I'm a lady and in the same situation
    "wink wink" :)

    How you doin'?


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    #29
    victor8600
    Registered Users Posts: 1,619 ✭✭✭victor8600


    Walter Bishop wrote: »
    What did you put in your profile on the sites? Chances are it's terrible tbh.

    Yes, OP should post the description here. The collective AH mind may come up with something more attractive.

    Also, anybody should get at least a 50% response rate if the message is crafty enough. Nothing repels a potential date faster that a moany ill-formed message.

    Do you have a nice pic in the profile OP? A blury cutout from a selfie with your mates in a pub is not generally attractive. Put on a suit and take a pic somewhere nice.


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    #30
    wakka12
    Registered Users Posts: 9,786 ✭✭✭wakka12


    victor8600 wrote: »
    Yes, OP should post the description here. The collective AH mind may come up with something more attractive.

    Also, anybody should get at least a 50% response rate if the message is crafty enough. Nothing repels a potential date faster that a moany ill-formed message.

    Do you have a nice pic in the profile OP? A blury cutout from a selfie with your mates in a pub is not generally attractive. Put on a suit and take a pic somewhere nice.

    An ugly face does


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    #31
    mcmoustache
    Registered Users Posts: 7,236 ✭✭✭mcmoustache


    jimjangles wrote: »
    I've tried online dating sites and they're absolutely useless.
    I'm not ugly but it would seem by my terrible lack of popularity that I don't have the looks for online dating.
    Whatever they're looking for online it's not me.
    Also I have no kind of a social life anymore.
    Also I'm 37 and I'm a man.
    So if online dating doesn't work and I have no social life and I live in the midlands seems things aren't really going to work out too good for me for finding someone ever.
    I should probably just forget about it.

    You'll need to get your social life fixed. Ideally in such a way that you get to meet women. For example, walking groups, amateur dramatics troupes, church groups, youth groups, sports groups etc.

    That way you'll get to meet women in shared activities and sooner or later, you'll meet someone that you could hit it off with. I don't know what's available in your area but there's no way around putting yourself out there in the real world.


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