Anyone else not want children?

suicide_circus · 03-04-2019 03:05PM

kids? ewwwww!

they'd get in the way of me-time

Deebles McBeebles · 03-04-2019 03:05PM

yourdeadwright wrote: »

We live In the most easiest and pampered time in human history ,
Its tuff if you LET your self get caught up in the nonsense and owe your arse out but that's all your own fault ,

I'm sure a whole generation who may never be able to afford to house themselves totally agree with you.

Comparing to medieval times is fairly pointless.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 03-04-2019 03:06PM

Not for me. I like them and all but fuuuuuck that altogether.

Apiarist · 03-04-2019 03:12PM

SusieBlue wrote: »

Probably his wife, who he betrayed by cheating on?
Don't blame her tbh.

Indeed. And a man can have father a child any time , while my friend's wife who is 45 may find it difficult to get pregnant if she changes her mind regarding being childless.

Cina · 03-04-2019 03:14PM

yourdeadwright wrote: »

I' m sorry but this is absolute horse sh*t
Its one of the easiest time to be alive in human history ,

Imagine in the past you had to worry about being cut down by someone with a sword in a forest looking to rape and pillage you village while you where out hunting and scrambling for any bit of food you could get,

Or when the famine was around and you couldn't eat

Or when the plague or small pox's killed all your family,

Or when women couldn't vote and you had to do everything the church told you ,

We live In the most easiest and pampered time in human history ,
Its tuff if you LET your self get caught up in the nonsense and owe your arse out but that's all your own fault ,

Maybe you should actually read my post properly before calling it bull****.

At the moment yes, it's the easiest time to be alive in human history. In 30-40 years it likely won't be if we continue to act out our current lifestyles and drastic measures aren't taken to reduce plastic use and Co2 emissions. There's no 'bull****' in that at all. By 2050 we could be looking at very common severe weather effects, micro-plastic in just about everything, and vast swathes of uninhabitable and non agriculturally viable land. It could be a complete nightmare for our children.

Boards is full of climate change deniers though so if you are one just ignore my post and carry on because we won't agree.

Apiarist · 03-04-2019 03:16PM

Cina wrote: »

...By 2050 we could be looking at very common severe weather effects, micro-plastic in just about everything, and vast swathes of uninhabitable and non agriculturally viable land. ...

So you want somebody else's children to clean up the mess? Where is your sense of responsibility?

Sweet.Science · 03-04-2019 03:30PM

Jaysis people are mad

If you want to have kids try have them

If you dont want any. Dont have them

Close the thread it hurts my head.

yourdeadwright · 03-04-2019 03:33PM

Cina wrote: »

Maybe you should actually read my post properly before calling it bull****.

At the moment yes, it's the easiest time to be alive in human history. In 30-40 years it likely won't be if we continue to act out our current lifestyles and drastic measures aren't taken to reduce plastic use and Co2 emissions. There's no 'bull****' in that at all. By 2050 we could be looking at very common severe weather effects, micro-plastic in just about everything, and vast swathes of uninhabitable and non agriculturally viable land. It could be a complete nightmare for our children.

Boards is full of climate change deniers though so if you are one just ignore my post and carry on because we won't agree.

It'll be fine relax,

yourdeadwright · 03-04-2019 03:39PM

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

I'm sure a whole generation who may never be able to afford to house themselves totally agree with you.

Comparing to medieval times is fairly pointless.

Talk about entitlement lets not give another person life because its not worth living because you won't be able to afford your perfect 4 bed house in your preferred Dublin suburb ,

Jesus Christ on a bike only 1 % of the world can afford a house here now ,

U need to look at the bigger picture, Look outside the box only in Ireland are we so obsessed with owning the perfect house

Actually maybe its best if you don't have children if that is your main worry for them

Deebles McBeebles · 03-04-2019 03:49PM

yourdeadwright wrote: »

Talk about entitlement lets not give another person life because its not worth living because you won't be able to afford your perfect 4 bed house in your preferred Dublin suburb ,

Who said anything about a perfect 4 bed house? You're talking nonsense now. Entitlement, by the way, would be the wrong word. I'm not entitled to a house but usually working people can afford a house. That is not the case now. You obviously have no horse in this particular race so spout all you want.

yourdeadwright wrote: »

Actually maybe its best if you don't have children if that is your main worry for them

What, housing them? Yeah I think that's a valid worry.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 03-04-2019 03:53PM

yourdeadwright wrote: »

Talk about entitlement lets not give another person life because its not worth living because you won't be able to afford your perfect 4 bed house in your preferred Dublin suburb ,

Jesus Christ on a bike only 1 % of the world can afford a house here now ,

U need to look at the bigger picture, Look outside the box only in Ireland are we so obsessed with owning the perfect house

Actually maybe its best if you don't have children if that is your main worry for them

The generation about my age are facing into a future with far less security and upward mobility than our parents. Home ownership is just the most obvious symbol of that. An important achievement for my parents, very possibly not attainable for me, unless I inherit theirs. Nobody my age will have a pension like the ones they got in unremarkable public and private sector jobs. Income inequality is rising in the developed world, automation is going to have god knows what effects, and that's before you get to climate change.

I'm perfectly aware that I have a better life and standard of living than I would have had in 1940, but I'm not so much of a myopic thick that I assume that means things will have automatically gotten better for people like me by 2040.

I would not be able to provide for a child the way my parents could for me, and that's a common reality. I doubt it'd be the clincher for someone who had a strong desire for or set against having children but it's hardly hysterical to take into account.

yourdeadwright · 03-04-2019 04:02PM

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Who said anything about a perfect 4 bed house? You're talking nonsense now. Entitlement, by the way, would be the wrong word. I'm not entitled to a house but usually working people can afford a house. That is not the case now. You obviously have no horse in this particular race so spout all you want.

What, housing them? Yeah I think that's a valid worry.

Your not but your talking like you are ,

If your working a decent job in Ireland 99% of the world population would like to be in your shoes, Stop moaning and realise how lucky you are ,

If you can't afford the house you want , go to a cheaper area where you can,

Make a difference in your own life

"You obviously have no horse in this particular race so spout all you want"

what do you mean by no horse in the race ?

Deebles McBeebles · 03-04-2019 04:06PM

yourdeadwright wrote: »

Your not but your talking like you are ,

If your working a decent job in Ireland 99% of the world population would like to be in your shoes, Stop moaning and realise how lucky you are ,

If you can't afford the house you want , go to a cheaper area where you can,

Make a difference in your own life

"You obviously have no horse in this particular race so spout all you want"

what do you mean by no horse in the race ?

'There are starving kids in Africa so eat your vegetables' is basically what I just read there.

How am I talking as if I'm entitled?

By no horse in the race I meant you obviously have your long term housing sorted already and good for you but there are an incredible amount of people for whom owning a house will never be a reality. Its not whinging or entitlement, its a basic human need in order to feel secure in the long term.

Trump Is Right · 03-04-2019 04:38PM

It's unlikely I will have any kids...

But if I did, I would probably raise them in a very structured manner. None of this laissez faire parenting style, or going along with trendy stuff. That's just a recipe for failure.

99.999 % of people are ordinary, unimaginative and boring. So if you want your kids to stand out from all that mundane boring monkey muck in society, you gotta think outside the box. Raise them in a unique manner... so that's what I would do!

But personally, I don't really believe enough in this cesspit of a world to bring any more people into it. There's too much of a risk that they'll just further clog up this giant toilet we've created... and they'll just merely add to the stink!

Kivaro · 03-04-2019 05:56PM

Trump Is Right wrote: »

It's unlikely I will have any kids...

But if I did, I would probably raise them in a very structured manner. None of this laissez faire parenting style, or going along with trendy stuff. That's just a recipe for failure.

99.999 % of people are ordinary, unimaginative and boring. So if you want your kids to stand out from all that mundane boring monkey muck in society, you gotta think outside the box. Raise them in a unique manner... so that's what I would do!

But personally, I don't really believe enough in this cesspit of a world to bring any more people into it. There's too much of a risk that they'll just further clog up this giant toilet we've created... and they'll just merely add to the stink!

I have to admit; your optimism warms the cockles of my heart.

cannotlogin · 03-04-2019 06:16PM

I honestly don't know whether I do or not.

In my 20s I was fairly certain I didn't and I'm not maternal really and think I will be quite happy with life if I never too.

I find it strange in that most women my age (30s) are either absolutely certain that they don't or else really badly desperately want children.

I think in time, that if a serious relationship materialises I could be open to it and/or the decision will be taken out of my hands due to age anyway...neither option fills me with dread or excitement.

kateee47298 · 03-04-2019 07:03PM

My advice would always to be upfront about things. If you don't want kids, tell her. I'm 24 and I think I want kids but not anytime in the next 2/3 years. Now i just have to take some of my own advice and discuss this with my bf....

Vela · 03-04-2019 07:48PM

I've actually encountered a lot of guys recently who really want kids. It's like they hit mid/late 30s and go "sh1t, time to get moving". In my two most recent relationships, the guy was definitely more focused on the kids thing and it was usually on account of them deciding it was time to "settle down", like they had a scheduled checklist for life or some sh1t.

Then I had one guy actually start talking to me about what our kids would be like after one date. I wish I was kidding. There was no second date.

I posted here early last year saying I'd be on the fence, and that's still the case. But after a chemical pregnancy (like a super early miscarriage so you can get a positive test one week and negative the next), I definitely don't take the idea of abortion as lightly. Before the negative test, I'd been arranging to get the abortion pill, and fcuk me - that decision was a lot harder emotionally than I thought it would be. I'm very much pro-abortion and since I'm ambivalent enough about kids I never thought I'd think twice about it, but I really did have to think about it a lot. In the end, I was glad the decision was taken from me, as bad as it sounds. So with that in mind, I'd find it very hard to give a straight yes or no answer still.

If I was a definite no on it, it's something I would say to a new partner right away, or as soon as they brought up their desire for kids. I think it's only fair and definitely think you should do so in your case!

eviltwin · 03-04-2019 08:02PM

I always wanted children and was lucky to be able to have them. I'm happy with the two I have, anymore would be a disaster. Luckily my husband has had the snip but I do think there needs to be more options available besides long term contraception for women who chose not to have children

Dakota Dan · 03-04-2019 09:27PM

Cina wrote: »

Maybe you should actually read my post properly before calling it bull****.

At the moment yes, it's the easiest time to be alive in human history. In 30-40 years it likely won't be if we continue to act out our current lifestyles and drastic measures aren't taken to reduce plastic use and Co2 emissions. There's no 'bull****' in that at all. By 2050 we could be looking at very common severe weather effects, micro-plastic in just about everything, and vast swathes of uninhabitable and non agriculturally viable land. It could be a complete nightmare for our children.

Boards is full of climate change deniers though so if you are one just ignore my post and carry on because we won't agree.

Nobody denies climate change, it’s just a silly phrase that the alarmists came up with so that gullible people like yourself could feel better while arguing about it. If you think the scientists are telling the truth have a look at their predictions in 1989, same nonsense as now and we should be all dead by now if you believed it.

https://www.apnews.com/bd45c372caf118ec99964ea547880cd0

03-04-2019 09:47PM

A huge part of me wishes the decision would be taken out of my hands. If himself gets the snip, if menopause kicks in early, if I'm infertile. The reason being is because figuring it out can consume me. Will I won't I, what if I don't, what if I do. People say to me "oh you'll be fine". Well I'm not convinced. Age is not on my side but for me that isn't a good enough reason to bring a life in to the world. Not only would I be creating a life but I would be responsible for who they are, for everything about them. It's a massive decision.

ibarelycare · 04-04-2019 06:50AM

I’m nearly 34. Don’t want kids and neither does my bf. I’m terrified of regretting it when it’s too late, which is a very likely possibility. But for me that’s not a good enough reason to have one.

Ave Sodalis · 04-04-2019 07:10AM

I'm in my 20s and I have zero interest in having children. I'm constantly asked and I'm constantly told I'll change my mind. My own mother is okay with it and has never pushed me, other than explaining the effect of pre-menopause hormones when I was young. I'm sure she would prefer if I didn't feel that way, but doesn't interfere. My partner is also okay with the idea and whilst wouldn't have minded one, is fine with none. Everyone else seems to have a big problem with it.

Western Lowland Gorilla · 04-04-2019 06:56PM

Ave Sodalis wrote: »

I'm in my 20s and I have zero interest in having children. I'm constantly asked and I'm constantly told I'll change my mind. My own mother is okay with it and has never pushed me, other than explaining the effect of pre-menopause hormones when I was young. I'm sure she would prefer if I didn't feel that way, but doesn't interfere. My partner is also okay with the idea and whilst wouldn't have minded one, is fine with none. Everyone else seems to have a big problem with it.

Tell "everyone else" to eff off, or just laugh it off. Each to their own your life. Maybe you'll change your mind, maybe you won't. Not for them to be concerned about

Paddy Cow · 04-04-2019 07:15PM

Ave Sodalis wrote: »

I'm in my 20s and I have zero interest in having children. I'm constantly asked and I'm constantly told I'll change my mind. My own mother is okay with it and has never pushed me, other than explaining the effect of pre-menopause hormones when I was young. I'm sure she would prefer if I didn't feel that way, but doesn't interfere. My partner is also okay with the idea and whilst wouldn't have minded one, is fine with none. Everyone else seems to have a big problem with it.

Even if you had a kid, that wouldn't be the end of it.

If you have one - so when are you giving them a sibling?.

If you have two or more of the same gender - sure you'll keep going till you get a boy/girl.

If you have more than four - don't you know the world is over populated?

Blah blah blah and on and on it goes.

Other people need to learn to mind their own business!

suicide_circus · 04-04-2019 07:23PM

i'm not 100% what the point of being alive is other than to have kids.

i mean, if you invent something ground breaking, or help a lot of people or add to the sum of human knowledge or happiness to a significant degree then yeah fair enough but if youre an ordinary drone...

ibarelycare · 04-04-2019 07:28PM

suicide_circus wrote: »

i'm not 100% what the point of being alive is other than to have kids.

i mean, if you invent something ground breaking, or help a lot of people or add to the sum of human knowledge or happiness to a significant degree then yeah fair enough but if youre an ordinary drone...

Every dickhead in the world is someone’s child. Look at the percentage of people in the world who are absolute assholes. Chances are your children are/will turn out to be assholes. What sort of contribution is that? Selfish, that’s what.

suicide_circus · 04-04-2019 07:30PM

ibarelycare wrote: »

Every dickhead in the world is someone’s child. Look at the percentage of people in the world who are absolute assholes. Chances are your children are/will turn out to be assholes. What sort of contribution is that? Selfish, that’s what.

my children will be assholes? yikes

ibarelycare · 04-04-2019 07:49PM

suicide_circus wrote: »

my children will be assholes? yikes

Statistically very likely.

Greentopia · 04-04-2019 07:53PM

suicide_circus wrote: »

my children will be assholes? yikes

Don't you just love coming to AH to be told that not only are you an asshole, but your as yet unborn children will be too? :pac: Ah AH never change...

Anyone else not want children?

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