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How do you find a one night stand

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    #152
    fizzypish
    Registered Users Posts: 1,000 ✭✭✭fizzypish


    Appears to be that if you actually get the info your wife is after, she will
    A: Be gutted if she perceives the chipper queen as more attractive and gorilla ****s you in the divorce as vengeance.
    OR
    B: Be confused/distraught if she perceives the chipper queen as less attractive as you still rode her, thus ruining the relationship and gorilla ****s you in the divorce as vengeance.

    Don't like those odds horse. Fake your own death?


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    #153
    punisher5112
    Registered Users Posts: 24,647 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    What you need to do tonight is reconstruct the whole even but find a new foxy lady.

    Then make this a nightly ritual.


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    #154
    Agent Smith
    Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 21,502 Mod ✭✭✭✭Agent Smith


    See, you should have gone with the shaggy Defence...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_4ca8jthAs


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    #155
    sbsquarepants
    Registered Users Posts: 11,812 ✭✭✭✭sbsquarepants


    Words to live by Agent Smith.

    That and the sunscreen song together make up the sum of all the advice you'll ever need for any circumstance.


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    #156
    Sinister Kid
    Registered Users Posts: 7,503 ✭✭✭Sinister Kid


    trevk wrote: »
    Because she has a ****ing sixth sense for when I am up to something and she has basically known since then but I bull**** her and told her she was paranoid and crazy for the last 3 years and was basically a complete prick. It was kinda a relief she bluffed me into the truth

    This bit is almost as bad as the cheating IMO, I feel sorry for your wife.


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    #157
    Seth Brundle
    Moderators, Politics Moderators Posts: 39,209 Mod ✭✭✭✭Seth Brundle


    Agent Smith wrote: »
    See, you should have gone with the shaggy Defence...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_4ca8jthAs
    He has admitted that it was in fact him...


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    #158
    Shurimgreat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,133 ✭✭✭Shurimgreat


    Ireland aint that big of a country. everyone knows someone who knows someone.
    have you tried putting up a wanted poster?


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    #159
    Gravelly
    Registered Users Posts: 4,119 ✭✭✭Gravelly


    Have you tried the pound? By your description, if she's found that's where she'll be brought.


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    #160
    gw80
    Registered Users Posts: 1,019 ✭✭✭gw80


    Seth Brundle wrote: »
    He has admitted that it was in fact him...
    Oooo
    Dont take this any further op, there are many dark roads this could lead to.for example, what if the wife does find her and then finds out she married, and husband turns out to be a big stud farmer type with excellent, ehh lets say road frontage, wifey hooks up with said stud two of them decide to have revenge sex with each other, husband decides to kick **** out of ya aswell.
    You are just gona have to say to wifey, "it is, what it is" and take your medicine.


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    #161
    super_furry
    Registered Users Posts: 27,322 ✭✭✭✭super_furry


    Hang around on Camden Street at 4am and wait for someone to ask you for directions for a taxi.


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    #162
    deletthis
    Registered Users Posts: 68 ✭✭deletthis


    super_furry wrote: »
    Hang around on Camden Street at 4am and wait for someone to ask you for directions for a taxi.

    No no, you have to be looking for a cigarette for this to work.


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    #163
    Gravelly
    Registered Users Posts: 4,119 ✭✭✭Gravelly


    gw80 wrote: »
    Oooo
    Dont take this any further op, there are many dark roads this could lead to.for example, what if the wife does find her and then finds out she married, and husband turns out to be a big stud farmer type with excellent, ehh lets say road frontage, wifey hooks up with said stud two of them decide to have revenge sex with each other, husband decides to kick **** out of ya aswell.
    You are just gona have to say to wifey, "it is, what it is" and take your medicine.

    There's a porn writer lost in you.


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    #164
    pistolpetes11
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 7,146 Mod ✭✭✭✭pistolpetes11


    trevk wrote: »
    Nope wife has known since October and has been ridiculously understanding and patient its just ****in with her head that she doesnt know what she looks like.

    Tell her you don't know what she looks like either :p:p:p


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    #165
    gw80
    Registered Users Posts: 1,019 ✭✭✭gw80


    Gravelly wrote: »
    There's a porn writer lost in you.

    I've see this kind of thing happen lots of times.





















    On my computer.


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    #166
    Hammer89
    Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    Gravelly wrote: »
    Maybe his missus just wants a recommendation for a good clit piercer.

    I know a Father Clint Pearse.


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    #167
    GT_TDI_150
    Registered Users Posts: 10,917 ✭✭✭✭GT_TDI_150


    Im still of the opinion someone blabbed... She may have suspected... But if you didnt tell her till now she cant have KNOWN?!?.... Knowing implies certainty.

    Did your buddies know?
    Were you seen?
    Did the spice bag see you out with ur missus, follow you home and has informed the wife at a later point - more than likely a kid involved if this is the case.

    Maybe your missus already knows what she looks like....

    Or maybe ur missus set the whole thing up to test you...you failed btw...


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    #168
    wexie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,480 ✭✭✭wexie


    GT_TDI_150 wrote: »
    Im still of the opinion someone blabbed... She may have suspected... But if you didnt tell her till now she cant have KNOWN?!?.... Knowing implies certainty.

    Unless of course the mrs has been getting an itch (not of the good kind) and wondered where it came from?


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    #169
    swaner
    Registered Users Posts: 41 ✭swaner


    Read ONS Guide, nicely explained where and how to what you need in real life or online using various apps or sites.
    Always keep in mind that on this World there is same number of man and women, so they want same thing :) I want to say it is not hard to land one night stand anywhere, anytime, if you know "the game" :)


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    #170
    A Pint of Goo
    Site Banned Posts: 218 ✭✭A Pint of Goo


    Ok here is some actual advice: find a random girl on Facebook, make sure she's not better looking than your wife, make sure she has the strictest privacy setting where you can only see her profile picture.

    Tell your wife that's the girl.


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    #171
    wexie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,480 ✭✭✭wexie


    A Pint of Goo wrote: »
    Ok here is some actual advice: find a random girl on Facebook, make sure she's not better looking than your wife, make sure she has the strictest privacy setting where you can only see her profile picture.

    Tell your wife that's the girl.

    The wife would still be able to message her...

    Be a pretty ****ty thing to do to some random bird no?

    If you were going to go that way just create your own random bird fake FB profile so at least you wouldn't be dragging some unsuspecting randomer into it.


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    #172
    Colser
    Registered Users Posts: 5,572 ✭✭✭Colser


    wexie wrote: »
    The wife would still be able to message her...

    Be a pretty ****ty thing to do to some random bird no?

    If you were going to go that way just create your own random bird fake FB profile so at least you wouldn't be dragging some unsuspecting randomer into it.

    Waste of time..our intuition and gut instinct would know straight away that it's a fake..

    OP there is going to be no happy ending to this for you..you went out for burgers when you had steak at home.


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    #173
    A Pint of Goo
    Site Banned Posts: 218 ✭✭A Pint of Goo


    wexie wrote: »
    The wife would still be able to message her...

    Be a pretty ****ty thing to do to some random bird no?

    If you were going to go that way just create your own random bird fake FB profile so at least you wouldn't be dragging some unsuspecting randomer into it.

    As far as I know the messages just go into a secondary mailbox which most people never check. Have to say though, your idea of creating a fake profile is a good one.

    Which makes me wonder why he didn't just look her up on Facebook. Does he not remember her name?

    Ok, just how wasted were you when this happened?


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    #174
    wexie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,480 ✭✭✭wexie


    A Pint of Goo wrote: »
    secondary mailbox which most people never check.

    And lots of people check every so often. Also I think they actually changed it a while ago so that you now get a notification : so and so sent you a message, would you like to accept it.

    A Pint of Goo wrote: »
    Which makes me wonder why he didn't just look her up on Facebook. Does he not remember her name?

    Ok, just how wasted were you when this happened?

    Think he said he never got a name. So quite wasted I'd imagine.
    But who knows, seems I'm a bit overly old fashioned wanting to know not just a first name but also a surname of whoever it is I happen to be shaggin


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    #175
    fxotoole
    Registered Users Posts: 1,661 ✭✭✭fxotoole


    A Pint of Goo wrote: »
    As far as I know the messages just go into a secondary mailbox which most people never check. Have to say though, your idea of creating a fake profile is a good one.

    Which makes me wonder why he didn't just look her up on Facebook. Does he not remember her name?

    Ok, just how wasted were you when this happened?

    No names were exchanged. Only bodily fluids.


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    #176
    wexie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,480 ✭✭✭wexie


    fxotoole wrote: »
    No names were exchanged. Only bodily fluids.

    Is that normal these days?

    I know I'm outta the dating game for a while but eh...I would have always known a woman's name before I'd known if she had a clit piercing like


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    #177
    trevk
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27 ✭trevk


    A Pint of Goo wrote: »
    As far as I know the messages just go into a secondary mailbox which most people never check. Have to say though, your idea of creating a fake profile is a good one.

    Which makes me wonder why he didn't just look her up on Facebook. Does he not remember her name?

    Ok, just how wasted were you when this happened?

    Names were not exchanged


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    #178
    Franz Von Peppercorn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,070 ✭✭✭Franz Von Peppercorn


    trevk wrote: »
    Names were not exchanged

    I do find that strange. Looks like there was no conversation at all. “You’re pulled, lad”, some shagging, then you teleported back to your own bedroom


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    #179
    Hercule Poirot
    Registered Users Posts: 4,231 ✭✭✭Hercule Poirot


    trevk wrote: »
    Names were not exchanged

    Would be more likely that you can't remember?


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    #180
    fxotoole
    Registered Users Posts: 1,661 ✭✭✭fxotoole


    Franz Von Peppercorn wrote: »
    I do find that strange. Looks like there was no conversation at all. “You’re pulled, lad”, some shagging, then you teleported back to your own bedroom

    Chipper chick was obviously a durty ho who had no interest in making conversation and was only looking the ride


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    #181
    mea_k
    Registered Users Posts: 213 ✭✭mea_k


    This should be used as last resort .
    1) find a girl - have sex with her
    2) show picture of her
    3) wife contacts the girl- she tell ye had sex recently blah blah blah
    4) wife confronts you about what girl have said- tell wife she is psycho etc and why on earth would you have sex with someone so recently and then show her ? Sureley that would be madness

    Warning can backfire very fast.


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