Sopranos best jokes

Paulie: The guy was an interior decorator.

Christopher: Really? His place looked like shit.

Junior:

"What did the blind man say when he went to the fish market?"

"Hello Ladies."

Not a joke either but my funniest scene was when Paulie couldn’t hear Tony properly on the phone telling him about the Russian that they had to kill and then says to Christopher “You’re not gonna believe this, he killed 16 Czechoslovakians, guy was an interior decorator" and Christopher replies “his house looked like ****”.

Shrink: “What line of work are you in?”
Tony Soprano: “Waste management consultant.”

Tony: So, Uncle Junior, How was Boca?
Junior: Wonderful. I don't go down enough.
Carmela: mumbles That's not what I heard.

chrissb8 wrote: »

When Paulie goes to Italy gets completely blanked at the cafe and just doesn't get the culture.

Comes back and says it was amazing and he had the best time.

also......"TONY MAKING A PARTY FOR ME"

I love when Paulie is in a restaurant with the two Italian Mafia guys in Naples and he starts asking for gravy (basic tomato pasta sauce). The Italians don't know what the fcuk he's on about.

They speak in Italian to each other and say "And I thought the Germans were classless pieces of sh1t" in front of an oblivious Paulie.

A few of my favourites, watched for the first time last year:

Junior on Richie Aprile: "He has a tremendous amount of moxy for someone of his stature"
Junior to Tony: "If you're going to lie to me tell me there's a broad waiting in the car to tongue my balls"
Paulie: "Why do ****ting, pissing and ****ing all happen within a 2 inch radius of eachother"
Paulie on Sun Tozoo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YonukB9yPAs
Phil Leotardo on his goth nephew: "The hell is wrong with you? You look like a Puerto Rican whore"

Tony to Mikey Palmice- “Too bad they don't have a telethon for ****faceitis. They found a cure yet?”

I watched this a few years ago, really enjoyed it. Peter Bogdanovich [Dr Elliot in Sopranos, Melfi's shrink] interviewing David Chase.

I don't know where it is in the interview exactly, and I'm paraphrasing from memory here, but Bogdanovich is skirting around, almost afraid to suggest that it is almost possible for people who might think Sopranos could possibly be perceived as more comedy....

I think he was expecting for Chase to explode at him, Chase says straight away "Oh ya, it is". He saw it as a comedy first, not a drama.

At least that was my memory of the exchange.

Anyway, whole interview is good.

Richie talking about Chris

Did you ever notice he's the only mother****er who can smoke a cigarette in the rain with his hands tied behind his back?

Also Richie when he crippled some guy by running a car over him

Tony " I thought I told you to back off Beansie!"

"I did, then I put it in drive"

Beaten to it

"She's so fat, her blood type is Ragu"