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Man squeezes woman's boobs too hard - it ends up in court - should it have?

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    #92
    Outlaw Pete
    Registered Users Posts: 10,423 ✭✭✭✭Outlaw Pete


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    The jury found him guilty..

    There was no jury.


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    #93
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    BlaasForRafa wrote: »
    Yes a one-off occasion, this pair had not had sex before or since and there were no other witnesses to say he had done anything like this before. Also we only have her word that he said he'd had rougher sex before. And even if he had, that may well have been not a problem for the other party.

    It sounds like the judge went along with the current hysteria being stoked by the media.

    Isn't it funny how judge who sat through the trial, listened to both sides 'went with the current hysteria'.

    Your opinion though is completely rational and informed because you read couple of sentences about the case. Yeah right...

    I'm sure there is a possibility of appeal if the guy was so badly misunderstood in the court. And I am sick of the whole he/she is studying to be a doctor line. Like that gives you a permission to be a complete creep.


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    #94
    myshirt
    Registered Users Posts: 5,245 ✭✭✭myshirt


    What has it come to now?

    Will we have to start signing contracts setting out the agreed details, exclusions, clauses, and talk way through the intercourse?

    It's not exactly an intimacy enhancing experience to be taking out a contract while she is face down in the pillow, and asking under clause 4.2 shall I go faster or shall I maintain the same speed?


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    #95
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    myshirt wrote: »
    What has it come to now?

    Will we have to start signing contracts setting out the agreed details, exclusions, clauses, and talk way through the intercourse?

    It's not exactly an intimacy enhancing experience to be taking out a contract while she is face down in the pillow, and asking under clause 4.2 shall I go faster or shall I maintain the same speed?

    You do that....

    But most people are perfectly capable to read the situation and treat their partner with respect.


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    #96
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,695 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    myshirt wrote: »
    What has it come to now?

    Will we have to start signing contracts setting out the agreed details, exclusions, clauses, and talk way through the intercourse?

    It's not exactly an intimacy enhancing experience to be taking out a contract while she is face down in the pillow, and asking under clause 4.2 shall I go faster or shall I maintain the same speed?


    No, I... can't imagine it is.


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    #97
    OldMrBrennan83
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26,658 ✭✭✭✭OldMrBrennan83


    I can't decide. I'm on the fence. Perhaps. Maybe. Who's to say really.
    This post has been deleted.


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    #98
    myshirt
    Registered Users Posts: 5,245 ✭✭✭myshirt


    meeeeh wrote: »
    Isn't it funny how judge who sat through the trial, listened to both sides 'went with the current hysteria'.

    Where in the world is the judiciary representative of all society?

    If you don't have representation from cross socioeconomic backgrounds in the legal profession, you don't have a diverse pool of judges, you lose diversity of thought, and all the legal system ends up being is a wooden system of one class imposing their rules on another class.

    The gap between the legal system and the people at home is light years apart. Admittedly not as bad as pre 20th century, but still miles apart.

    Why do you think scumbags with 100 convictions walk free for example? These people don't have to live next to them do they. Their heads are in their books and in academic fantasy. They still use all this archaic language, wear wigs, and require devils to dine at commons. The most radical thing I ever seen a barrister do was wear a pair of sponge Bob socks. These sentences and judgements are a joke to the ordinary decent public.

    I will read this better later today but it looks like another good man chopped down by some b"tch.


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    #99
    square ball
    Registered Users Posts: 391 ✭✭square ball


    If it was a bad as the woman is saying why didnt she stop straight away? I can understand if he got too rough and hurt her and she stopped but why would she continue if she was in such pain?


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    #100
    sbsquarepants
    Registered Users Posts: 11,812 ✭✭✭✭sbsquarepants


    No it shouldn't, are you mad!
    myshirt wrote: »
    I will read this better later today but it looks like another good man chopped down by some b"tch.

    To be clear - I didn't read the whole article, just scanned the summary.

    But what jumps out at me is - he was told to stop, he didn't and he left her badly bruised.

    Are you telling me you think that's not overstepping the mark?

    I can tell you one thing, if it was my sister, or my daughter or whatever - the sex offenders register would be the least of his worries. He's a fúcking dirtbird!


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    #101
    laugh
    Registered Users Posts: 3,745 ✭✭✭laugh


    Permabear wrote: »
    This post had been deleted.

    PLENTY of men and women don't mind a few marks here and there after sex.


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    #102
    Assetbacked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,969 ✭✭✭Assetbacked


    She tried to be a controlling psycho by calling him back to sit down and discuss it; he was upset and just wanted to apologise and leave in embarrassment. But said easy to bed, bunny boiler needed to control so went to the police when he refused to come back as she had lost control over him.


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    #103
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,695 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    laugh wrote: »
    PLENTY of men and women don't mind a few marks here and there after sex.


    But what have they got to do with people that do mind a few marks here and there after sex?


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    #104
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Assetbacked wrote: »
    She tried to be a controlling psycho by calling him back to sit down and discuss it; he was upset and just wanted to apologise and leave in embarrassment. But said easy to bed, bunny boiler needed to control so went to the police when he refused to come back as she had lost control over him.

    The forum that heard all the evidence was satisfied he assaulted her.

    Not sure where you get this whole bunny boiler/psycho stuff. But I'm more comfortable going with their decision than your Fatal Attraction fuelled imagination.


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    #105
    FCIM
    Registered Users Posts: 870 ✭✭✭FCIM


    No it shouldn't, are you mad!
    Deserves what he got in my opinion. He wouldn't be the first man to have hurt a woman during sex, I'd say most have as eagerness can cause clumsiness. The difference between what most men do and what he did is when their partner says "don't touch there" they stop or if she says "be gentle" then they have enough about them to reduce pressure, speed, whatever. I'd say a lot of women have caused men discomfort during sex and have reacted to the man's direction as outlined above. I also find it difficult to understand why he was rough in his first time with her. Surely, not knowing the other person's preference, most people would start off in a relatively mild way and allowed it to build if the other person was into it being rougher. It sounds very much as though, for this man, sex was going to happen on his terms and only on his terms. It also seems as though he believes consent to only revolve around the vagina which is worrying.


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    #106
    FCIM
    Registered Users Posts: 870 ✭✭✭FCIM


    No it shouldn't, are you mad!
    Deserves what he got in my opinion. He wouldn't be the first man to have hurt a woman during sex, I'd say most have as eagerness can cause clumsiness. The difference between what most men do and what he did is when their partner says "don't touch there" they stop or if she says "be gentle" then they have enough about them to reduce pressure, speed, whatever. I'd say a lot of women have caused men discomfort during sex and have reacted to the man's direction as outlined above. I also find it difficult to understand why he was rough in his first time with her. Surely, not knowing the other person's preference, most people would start off in a relatively mild way and allowed it to build if the other person was into it being rougher. It sounds very much as though, for this man, sex was going to happen on his terms and only on his terms. It also seems as though he believes consent to only revolve around the vagina which is worrying.


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    #107
    Sleeper12
    Registered Users Posts: 16,961 ✭✭✭✭Sleeper12


    I don't like the options so I didn't vote

    No means no so I can see how he ended up in court. I agree that this should have happened in this case.
    in fact I'd like to see it happen more often.
    This part I don't agree with


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    #108
    Jim Bob Scratcher
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,231 ✭✭✭Jim Bob Scratcher




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    #109
    DrPhilG
    Registered Users Posts: 12,247 ✭✭✭✭DrPhilG


    I can't decide. I'm on the fence. Perhaps. Maybe. Who's to say really.
    sbsquarepants wrote: »
    But what jumps out at me is - he was told to stop, he didn't and he left her badly bruised

    "Hey, please stop squeezing my boobs so hard, I consider it to be a sexual assault.

    However I am willing to excuse this sexual assault for the time being, please continue to have sex with me"

    Seems legit.

    Sorry folks but if I endure a sexual assault during the act of lovemaking I reckon I'd cease and desist all activities.

    Instead she let him off with a warning (yeah coz that's what you do when someone is assaulting you) and then afterwards wanted to talk about it (coz that's what you do with your assailant).

    This only went from a bad experience to an illegal one when he left abruptly.


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    #110
    FCIM
    Registered Users Posts: 870 ✭✭✭FCIM


    No it shouldn't, are you mad!
    DrPhilG wrote: »
    sbsquarepants wrote: »
    But what jumps out at me is - he was told to stop, he didn't and he left her badly bruised

    "Hey, please stop squeezing my boobs so hard, I consider it to be a sexual assault.

    However I am willing to excuse this sexual assault for the time being, please continue to have sex with me"

    Seems legit.

    Sorry folks but if I endure a sexual assault during the act of lovemaking I reckon I'd cease and desist all activities.

    Instead she let him off with a warning (yeah coz that's what you do when someone is assaulting you) and then afterwards wanted to talk about it (coz that's what you do with your assailant).

    This only went from a bad experience to an illegal one when he left abruptly.

    Have you never either accidentally hurt your partner by applying too much pressure or too quickly for him/her to say "that hurts" but sex continues because you react and use weaker pressure or slow down? Or has the same not happened to you. Would imagine it happens a lot for a lot of people. You're talking about sensitive parts of the body that can withstand, and enjoy, different levels of touch depending on the level of arousal. I don't find it strange that she continued.


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    #111
    cantdecide
    Registered Users Posts: 11,465 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    The poll is missing the option I'd choose - the man could reasonably have been convicted of common assault.


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    #112
    Assetbacked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,969 ✭✭✭Assetbacked


    Deleted User wrote: »
    The forum that heard all the evidence was satisfied he assaulted her.

    Not sure where you get this whole bunny boiler/psycho stuff. But I'm more comfortable going with their decision than your Fatal Attraction fuelled imagination.

    The bunny boiler aspect would not take away from the conclusion, by trying to link this aspect to the assault would be attempting to assert blame on the victim which I don't think you should be doing. FYI it cannot ever be the victim's fault in sexual assault and that is a toxic attitude to carry and would hamper victims coming forward.

    My point is that for her to actually go to the police was far too strong a reaction and it appears that she only went that way when he refused to sit down and talk to her and then didn't answer her texts.


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    #113
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users Posts: 8,810 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    I can't decide. I'm on the fence. Perhaps. Maybe. Who's to say really.
    Im glad im not a young single lad anymore.


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    #114
    Assetbacked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,969 ✭✭✭Assetbacked


    Hector Savage wrote: »
    Im glad im not a young single lad anymore.

    I'm glad my girl likes pain!


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    #115
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    FCIM wrote: »
    Have you never either accidentally hurt your partner by applying too much pressure or too quickly for him/her to say "that hurts" but sex continues because you react and use weaker pressure or slow down? Or has the same not happened to you. Would imagine it happens a lot for a lot of people. You're talking about sensitive parts of the body that can withstand, and enjoy, different levels of touch depending on the level of arousal. I don't find it strange that she continued.
    Oh you mean you accidentally hurt someone and then when they ask you to stop crying because it hurts so much you continue to accidentally hurt them some more in exactly the same way.

    Or are you talking about accidentally hurting someone apologising and not doing the same thing again if they ask you not to.

    I bet you the second example wouldn't end up in court. I really don't understand why is this so hard to comprehend for some.


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    #116
    valoren
    Registered Users Posts: 5,458 ✭✭✭valoren


    She said that he was hurting her and to stop. He said she told him to be more gentle.
    Two sides to the story.

    So he said, she said. So now the man was deemed to be a liar and is now on the sex offender's list with his professional career prospects in tatters. Does she feel like she got justice because of that?


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    #117
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Assetbacked wrote: »
    by trying to link this aspect to the assault would be attempting to assert blame on the victim which I don't think you should be doing...

    :D:D

    We'll look back at your posts about the assault victim...
    Assetbacked wrote: »
    She tried to be a controlling psycho...
    Assetbacked wrote: »
    ...bunny boiler needed to control...
    Assetbacked wrote: »
    ...she had lost control over him.


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    #118
    sbsquarepants
    Registered Users Posts: 11,812 ✭✭✭✭sbsquarepants


    No it shouldn't, are you mad!
    DrPhilG wrote: »
    "Hey, please stop squeezing my boobs so hard, I consider it to be a sexual assault.

    However I am willing to excuse this sexual assault for the time being, please continue to have sex with me"

    Seems legit.

    Sorry folks but if I endure a sexual assault during the act of lovemaking I reckon I'd cease and desist all activities.

    Instead she let him off with a warning (yeah coz that's what you do when someone is assaulting you) and then afterwards wanted to talk about it (coz that's what you do with your assailant).

    This only went from a bad experience to an illegal one when he left abruptly.

    You've never been in bed with someone who asked you to stop doing something, or to just not do it in the first place?

    I know I have, but do you know what I did in those circumstances? I stopped doing it, I certainly didn't carry on regardless and leave them covered in bruises.

    The real Dr. Phil would know the difference between doing something the other person didn't like unawares, and doing it anyway once it has been pointed out.

    That my friend, is the difference between an awkward moment and a sexual assault. This wanker got no less than he deserved.


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    #119
    FCIM
    Registered Users Posts: 870 ✭✭✭FCIM


    No it shouldn't, are you mad!
    meeeeh wrote: »
    FCIM wrote: »
    Have you never either accidentally hurt your partner by applying too much pressure or too quickly for him/her to say "that hurts" but sex continues because you react and use weaker pressure or slow down? Or has the same not happened to you. Would imagine it happens a lot for a lot of people. You're talking about sensitive parts of the body that can withstand, and enjoy, different levels of touch depending on the level of arousal. I don't find it strange that she continued.
    Oh you mean you accidentally hurt someone and then when they ask you to stop crying because it hurts so much you continue to accidentally hurt them some more in exactly the same way.

    Or are you talking about accidentally hurting someone apologising and not doing the same thing again if they ask you not to.

    I bet you the second example wouldn't end up in court. I really don't understand why is this so hard to comprehend for some.

    You've deliberately read my post out of context in terms of it being a reply to another post. I clearly meant the accidentally hurting someone, them asking you to stop, be more gentle, be slower and you taking on board what they say and things proceeding with both partners being perfectly happy which I would suggest has happened to most people.


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    #120
    weldoninhio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,311 ✭✭✭✭weldoninhio


    I can't decide. I'm on the fence. Perhaps. Maybe. Who's to say really.
    A woman scorned...............

    I pity the next guy that swipes right on Tinder with this one.


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    #121
    __..__
    Registered Users Posts: 452 ✭✭__..__


    He should countersue her for touching his cock in whatever way he didn't sign a waiver for before she touched it. Probably more money for grasping a cock tightly than a boob tightly so he's on a winner.


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