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Baby Name, Mother in Law Very Religious

  • 29-06-2017 12:48pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 118 ✭✭


    Hi All,

    Myself and my wife are have not found out the sex of our child yet but for fun we are casually thinking about names for him or her.

    My mother in law who is a lovely woman is very, very deeply religious.. at dinner the other night she asked us what names we were thinking off, we gave her some names, nothing wild but each one she was like "no i dont like that", "no that wont do.."

    when we asked her for suggestions, of course she gave the names of every saint, apostle and prophet.. something that i'm not into at all, I like Patrick as a name maybe.

    Thing is she has gone crazy and is now texting my wife all these random names: Francis, Jeremiah, Peter, Sylvester, Raphael, all the usual saints

    My wife seems to think its a joke but I know deep down its not and she can be very imposing with her beliefs, im always afraid of saying anything when religion is involved for fear of upsetting her


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 209 ✭✭Clashmore


    jacksn wrote: »
    Hi All,

    Myself and my wife are have not found out the sex of our child yet but for fun we are casually thinking about names for him or her.

    My mother in law who is a lovely woman is very, very deeply religious.. at dinner the other night she asked us what names we were thinking off, we gave her some names, nothing wild but each one she was like "no i dont like that", "no that wont do.."

    when we asked her for suggestions, of course she gave the names of every saint, apostle and prophet.. something that i'm not into at all, I like Patrick as a name maybe.

    Thing is she has gone crazy and is now texting my wife all these random names: Francis, Jeremiah, Peter, Sylvester, Raphael, all the usual saints

    My wife seems to think its a joke but I know deep down its not and she can be very imposing with her beliefs, im always afraid of saying anything when religion is involved for fear of upsetting her

    I'm sorry if this comes across as harsh but you need to sit down with ur wife and come up with a plan and then sit down with ur MIL and explain to her that this is your child and you will be picking names and how much religion your child is involved in. My MIL regularly comments on my parenting and I just remind her of how I will be parenting my child. She may complain about me behind my back I don't know and I'm not bothered. She has had her chance to raise her children and needs to allow me to raise mine.
    Again sorry if it comes across as harsh.

    Clashmore


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 185 ✭✭mrsmags16


    Stop with the discussions and suggestions! Keep your list to yourselves. Name the baby when it's born and that's the end of it. She has no input then. Same advice for anyone discussing names...there will always be someone who doesn't like it so at least when baby is named they have to keep their gob shut.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,856 ✭✭✭✭28064212


    mrsmags16 wrote: »
    Stop with the discussions and suggestions! Keep your list to yourselves. Name the baby when it's born and that's the end of it. She has no input then. Same advice for anyone discussing names...there will always be someone who doesn't like it so at least when baby is named they have to keep their gob shut.
    A thousand times this. Any time she provides a name, just say "thanks for the suggestion, we haven't made our decision yet". No follow-up. When you do come to a decision, you announce "Our baby will be called [X]". No discussion.

    Do not, under any circumstances, say anything along the lines of "Well, we're thinking of [X], [Y], or [Z]", or "[X] is the current favourite".

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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 118 ✭✭jacksn


    Clashmore wrote: »
    Again sorry if it comes across as harsh.

    Clashmore

    not at all! nice to hear others perspective that what i was looking for


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 118 ✭✭jacksn


    mrsmags16 wrote: »
    Stop with the discussions and suggestions! Keep your list to yourselves. Name the baby when it's born and that's the end of it. She has no input then. Same advice for anyone discussing names...there will always be someone who doesn't like it so at least when baby is named they have to keep their gob shut.

    Was thinking the same and told my wife to ignore the texts and any convos with her, my wife thinks its all jokey.. but i really think the MIL will be offended. I have this paranoia that even that when it comes to the day, my wife might say "what will mam think?"


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  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 2,159 Mod ✭✭✭✭Oink


    Surely it's up to the parents to name their child?

    There's clearly an issue with boundaries here, you'd want to discuss that with your wife because there's no way that this is the only time your MIL is going to butt in.

    I've seen this happen before, and it's doesn't get prettier the longer you ignore it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,641 ✭✭✭Teyla Emmagan


    I'm sure your wife can handle her own mother.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 118 ✭✭jacksn


    I'm sure your wife can handle her own mother.

    Id like to think so but havent seen it happen before other times in our relationship

    her mother is not controlling as such but whatever she says is gospel (literally!)


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,442 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    jacksn wrote: »
    Hi All,

    Myself and my wife are have not found out the sex of our child yet but for fun we are casually thinking about names for him or her.

    My mother in law who is a lovely woman is very, very deeply religious.. at dinner the other night she asked us what names we were thinking off, we gave her some names, nothing wild but each one she was like "no i dont like that", "no that wont do.."

    when we asked her for suggestions, of course she gave the names of every saint, apostle and prophet.. something that i'm not into at all, I like Patrick as a name maybe.

    Thing is she has gone crazy and is now texting my wife all these random names: Francis, Jeremiah, Peter, Sylvester, Raphael, all the usual saints

    My wife seems to think its a joke but I know deep down its not and she can be very imposing with her beliefs, im always afraid of saying anything when religion is involved for fear of upsetting her

    The words "rev up and eff off" spring to my mind.

    Your baby, your choice. You start off letting someone name your child and you'll have them feeling like they can stick their oar in with other decisions in your lives.

    My opinion.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,991 ✭✭✭sword1


    Suggest lucifer, have a fast escape planned!!!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,320 ✭✭✭The Mulk


    If she's into religion you could tell her you're thinking of
    Moses or Mohammed , Mo for short.
    or Santiago or Jesus( pronounced the Spanish way) if she's insisting on a Catholic name.
    Keep everything else between you are your wife


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 508 ✭✭✭smaoifs


    jacksn wrote:
    My wife seems to think its a joke but I know deep down its not and she can be very imposing with her beliefs, im always afraid of saying anything when religion is involved for fear of upsetting her


    When I first read that paragraph, I thought you were on about YOUR mother! Maybe your wife knows her mother better than you do and knows it is a joke?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,896 ✭✭✭sabat


    Plenty of great saints' names available; how about Drogo, Gangulphus or Homobonus?

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_patron_saints_by_occupation_and_activity


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,208 ✭✭✭Lady is a tramp


    It's simply not her decision to make. She had her time and her turn of choosing baby names. This is between you and your wife.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    Tell her you're naming the baby Ichabod and there will be no further discussion. It's what we did when I was pregnant on my last and nobody liked the names I had picked. They were delighted when I chose the name I actually wanted to use after that.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 118 ✭✭jacksn


    sword1 wrote: »
    Suggest lucifer, have a fast escape planned!!!

    Damien !


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 730 ✭✭✭Eyes Down Field


    Whatever you do, don't use some pretentious Irish name like Oisin or Saorise. Unless you are an Irish speaking family.

    There are plenty of names with ties to religious nonsense that you can use to keep your ignorant MIA happy. Like James, David, Michael, John, Elizabeth, Catherine or Maria.

    Or you can do the right thing sit down with your partner and decided between both of you, what name to use. Tell your​ MIL to go fck herself.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,358 ✭✭✭✭jimmycrackcorm


    Just keep telling MIL that tippy haven't decided even after its born, when there'll be the most pressure to confirm a name.

    You don't need to name it straight away so register it when she isn't around and then just tell her it was a last minute decision.

    Alternatively if you have any middle names you can tack a saint to the end of those (never be used), or perhaps day it's named after your great great great grandparent.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 730 ✭✭✭Eyes Down Field


    What is your last name OP. Some name don't sound good together.?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 118 ✭✭jacksn


    What is your last name OP. Some name don't sound good together.?

    Jackson


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,846 ✭✭✭✭Peregrinus


    Whatever you do, don't use some pretentious Irish name like Oisin or Saorise. Unless you are an Irish speaking family.
    Your mother-in-law can't tell you how to name your baby, but Eyes Down Field apparently can.

    Feel free to use a name that Eyes Down Field considers pretentious, if it appeals to you. I dare say she'll get over it in time.


  • Registered Users Posts: 16,500 ✭✭✭✭DEFTLEFTHAND


    Most first names in the west have their origins in the Judeo-Christian culture.

    Unless you go really obscure, Pagan Ancient Irish for eg.

    Anyway no matter what you decide on don't let her pressure you, it's not her child to name.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    Whatever you do, don't use some pretentious Irish name like Oisin or Saorise. Unless you are an Irish speaking family.

    There are plenty of names with ties to religious nonsense that you can use to keep your ignorant MIA happy. Like James, David, Michael, John, Elizabeth, Catherine or Maria.

    Or you can do the right thing sit down with your partner and decided between both of you, what name to use. Tell your​ MIL to go fck herself.

    Saoirse isn't pretentious would you ever get a clue.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,605 ✭✭✭gctest50


    Judas

    - nailed it


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,620 ✭✭✭✭dr.fuzzenstein


    Louis Cipher


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 730 ✭✭✭Eyes Down Field


    jacksn wrote:
    Jackson


    That rules out Michael and Janet then.

    I like the Name David Jackson for a boy and, Anthony also works.
    For a girl Anna or Jessica Jackson


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,378 ✭✭✭CeilingFly


    sword1 wrote: »
    Suggest lucifer, have a fast escape planned!!!

    Back up is Damien


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,458 ✭✭✭scarepanda


    Ha! We must be very pretentious so as we named our lo an Irish name and most of our names for boys and girls were Irish! I couldn't string a sentence together in Irish, much as I wish I could.

    Anyways, OP, don't discuss your names list with anyone, it's no one else's business what you name your lo. I also wouldn't compromise by using a name suggested by your MIL as a middle name coz she is likely to only call them by that name and introduce them as it as well. Not everyone will ever be happy with your choice I can assure you, but that doesn't matter, because it's no one else's decision.

    Also, you need to have a chat with your wife about setting boundaries with people, namely your MIL. She sounds like the kind of person that will take a mile if you give her an inch and you can't be having that when you are trying to rear your lo. You can't have her undermining you at every turn.


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,442 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    Whatever you do, don't use some pretentious Irish name like Oisin or Saorise. Unless you are an Irish speaking family.

    .

    WTF is wrong with Oisin? That's a lovely name. Nothing pretentious about it.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,208 ✭✭✭Lady is a tramp


    Whatever you do, don't use some pretentious Irish name like Oisin or Saorise. Unless you are an Irish speaking family.

    You didn't even spell either of those names correctly! :o Oisín, and Saoirse.

    Really I don't see how anyone could see either of those as pretentious names ... and presumably (seeing as this is an Irish website) chances are the parents are Irish. So why not use Irish names?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 730 ✭✭✭Eyes Down Field


    January wrote:
    Saoirse isn't pretentious would you ever get a clue.

    Yes it is.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,226 ✭✭✭nikkibikki


    What's wrong with a phone call when the baby is born, that goes a bit like this.

    "A baby boy. His name is Oisin ."

    That's what we did with our 3. Well, only one is called Oisin. They all have saints names as their second names but that's kinda accidental. The second names were family members we wanted to name them after.

    -the fada doesn't come out right so I had to leave it out. It comes out like this

    OisÃ႒­n

    It's annoying me with no fada. We are an Irish speaking family btw and all 3 kids have Irish names.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 730 ✭✭✭Eyes Down Field


    nikkibikki wrote:
    "A baby boy. His name is OisÃ႒­n ."

    Horrible pretentious name. Shame on you

    Mod note
    *please keep the thread on topic and resist insulting other users choices*


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,226 ✭✭✭nikkibikki


    Horrible pretentious name. Shame on you

    Jeez I won't sleep right now with the shame of it! :,)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,208 ✭✭✭Lady is a tramp


    nikkibikki wrote: »
    Jeez I won't sleep right now with the shame of it! :,)

    Look do the decent thing and go get his name changed tomorrow by deed poll.

    A random internet stranger doesn't like it. The horror of it all!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 52 ✭✭DrGuy


    Maybe name it after St. Hubbins?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 73,513 ✭✭✭✭colm_mcm


    Maybe do a middle name after a saint as a compromise?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,208 ✭✭✭Lady is a tramp


    DrGuy wrote: »
    Maybe name it after St. Hubbins?

    My dad always wanted to call one of his sons after his local parish saint. St Feicheann.

    Little Feicheann, can you imagine? (And yes, it's pronounced like Feckin'!)

    Thankfully my mum won out on choosing my brothers' names!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 39,022 ✭✭✭✭Permabear


    This post has been deleted.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,226 ✭✭✭nikkibikki


    A random internet stranger doesn't like it. The horror of it all!

    My mother in law probably didn't either but she's had 9 years to get used to it!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 643 ✭✭✭Corca Baiscinn


    nikkibikki wrote: »
    What's wrong with a phone call when the baby is born, that goes a bit like this.

    That's what we did with our 3. Well, only one is called Oisin.

    -the fada doesn't come out right so I had to leave it out. It comes out like this

    OisÃ႒­n
    It's annoying me with no fada. We are an Irish speaking family btw and all 3 kids have Irish names.

    Nikkibikki,just testing if my usual way of doing fada's works on Boards, apologies if you've tried it already Oisín

    Yea it does, hit the ALT GR key at the same time as the vowel


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,344 ✭✭✭Loveinapril


    colm_mcm wrote: »
    Maybe do a middle name after a saint as a compromise?

    What compromise? It isn't the mother in law's kid!

    OP, due to excitement and stuff, I engaged in conversations with my ma about names I like (none that we are honestly considering though) and she hates them. Every now and then she mentions how she doesn't want to be embarrassed introducing the kid/ asking how quirky it will be. I am just not getting into it anymore. There will be no more name discussions until Baby is here and noone will insult it then. It's the only option.

    Please don't 'compromise'. It is not her child.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,825 ✭✭✭LirW


    Nobody voted for Jackson Jackson here yet, I'm disappointed.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,083 ✭✭✭OU812


    Lucifer was a saint, wasn't he?

    We came under some pressure to give the kids a "family name" even as a second or third name, but we politely declined saying the kids were their own person & shouldn't be expected to live up to anybody's name. <- that excuse should work for you too.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78,537 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    Will the child not be named after a great/grandparent then? :)

    There are lots of names that aren't as 'religious' like Concepta or Immaculata that are associated with saints. And remember that there are lots of local Irish saint names that are long out of fashion but that you might like - the best way to find these is to look at a list of Church of Ireland churches. :pac:
    Please don't 'compromise'. It is not her child.
    I don't think finding some balance is unreasonable.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,344 ✭✭✭Loveinapril


    Victor wrote: »

    I don't think finding some balance is unreasonable.

    If it was between the OP and his wife, I would agree but why should they name THEIR child what the child's grandmother wants. As other posters pointed out, she had her time to name babies. This baby's name is none of her concern.

    My mother likes very common, top 20 kinda names. I am delighted for her- but I won't be naming my baby something she wants. Why should I?!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 39,022 ✭✭✭✭Permabear


    This post has been deleted.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78,537 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    If it was between the OP and his wife, I would agree but why should they name THEIR child what the child's grandmother wants.
    But there are thousands of names that could be called 'religious'. Maybe a name the parents like will suit granny.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,825 ✭✭✭LirW


    But why should it suit granny in the first place?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,226 ✭✭✭nikkibikki


    Yea it does, hit the ALT GR key at the same time as the vowel


    Yep that works on the computer but I'm using the Android app.


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