Baby Name, Mother in Law Very Religious

jacksn

Hi All,

Myself and my wife are have not found out the sex of our child yet but for fun we are casually thinking about names for him or her.

My mother in law who is a lovely woman is very, very deeply religious.. at dinner the other night she asked us what names we were thinking off, we gave her some names, nothing wild but each one she was like "no i dont like that", "no that wont do.."

when we asked her for suggestions, of course she gave the names of every saint, apostle and prophet.. something that i'm not into at all, I like Patrick as a name maybe.

Thing is she has gone crazy and is now texting my wife all these random names: Francis, Jeremiah, Peter, Sylvester, Raphael, all the usual saints

My wife seems to think its a joke but I know deep down its not and she can be very imposing with her beliefs, im always afraid of saying anything when religion is involved for fear of upsetting her

Clashmore

jacksn wrote: »

Hi All,

Myself and my wife are have not found out the sex of our child yet but for fun we are casually thinking about names for him or her.

My mother in law who is a lovely woman is very, very deeply religious.. at dinner the other night she asked us what names we were thinking off, we gave her some names, nothing wild but each one she was like "no i dont like that", "no that wont do.."

when we asked her for suggestions, of course she gave the names of every saint, apostle and prophet.. something that i'm not into at all, I like Patrick as a name maybe.

Thing is she has gone crazy and is now texting my wife all these random names: Francis, Jeremiah, Peter, Sylvester, Raphael, all the usual saints

My wife seems to think its a joke but I know deep down its not and she can be very imposing with her beliefs, im always afraid of saying anything when religion is involved for fear of upsetting her

I'm sorry if this comes across as harsh but you need to sit down with ur wife and come up with a plan and then sit down with ur MIL and explain to her that this is your child and you will be picking names and how much religion your child is involved in. My MIL regularly comments on my parenting and I just remind her of how I will be parenting my child. She may complain about me behind my back I don't know and I'm not bothered. She has had her chance to raise her children and needs to allow me to raise mine.
Again sorry if it comes across as harsh.

Clashmore

mrsmags16

Stop with the discussions and suggestions! Keep your list to yourselves. Name the baby when it's born and that's the end of it. She has no input then. Same advice for anyone discussing names...there will always be someone who doesn't like it so at least when baby is named they have to keep their gob shut.

28064212

mrsmags16 wrote: »

Stop with the discussions and suggestions! Keep your list to yourselves. Name the baby when it's born and that's the end of it. She has no input then. Same advice for anyone discussing names...there will always be someone who doesn't like it so at least when baby is named they have to keep their gob shut.

A thousand times this. Any time she provides a name, just say "thanks for the suggestion, we haven't made our decision yet". No follow-up. When you do come to a decision, you announce "Our baby will be called [X]". No discussion.

Do not, under any circumstances, say anything along the lines of "Well, we're thinking of [X], [Y], or [Z]", or "[X] is the current favourite".

jacksn

Clashmore wrote: »

Again sorry if it comes across as harsh.

Clashmore

not at all! nice to hear others perspective that what i was looking for

jacksn

mrsmags16 wrote: »

Stop with the discussions and suggestions! Keep your list to yourselves. Name the baby when it's born and that's the end of it. She has no input then. Same advice for anyone discussing names...there will always be someone who doesn't like it so at least when baby is named they have to keep their gob shut.

Was thinking the same and told my wife to ignore the texts and any convos with her, my wife thinks its all jokey.. but i really think the MIL will be offended. I have this paranoia that even that when it comes to the day, my wife might say "what will mam think?"

Oink

Surely it's up to the parents to name their child?

There's clearly an issue with boundaries here, you'd want to discuss that with your wife because there's no way that this is the only time your MIL is going to butt in.

I've seen this happen before, and it's doesn't get prettier the longer you ignore it.

Teyla Emmagan

I'm sure your wife can handle her own mother.

jacksn

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

I'm sure your wife can handle her own mother.

Id like to think so but havent seen it happen before other times in our relationship

her mother is not controlling as such but whatever she says is gospel (literally!)

xzanti

jacksn wrote: »

Hi All,

Myself and my wife are have not found out the sex of our child yet but for fun we are casually thinking about names for him or her.

My mother in law who is a lovely woman is very, very deeply religious.. at dinner the other night she asked us what names we were thinking off, we gave her some names, nothing wild but each one she was like "no i dont like that", "no that wont do.."

when we asked her for suggestions, of course she gave the names of every saint, apostle and prophet.. something that i'm not into at all, I like Patrick as a name maybe.

Thing is she has gone crazy and is now texting my wife all these random names: Francis, Jeremiah, Peter, Sylvester, Raphael, all the usual saints

My wife seems to think its a joke but I know deep down its not and she can be very imposing with her beliefs, im always afraid of saying anything when religion is involved for fear of upsetting her

The words "rev up and eff off" spring to my mind.

Your baby, your choice. You start off letting someone name your child and you'll have them feeling like they can stick their oar in with other decisions in your lives.

My opinion.

sword1

Suggest lucifer, have a fast escape planned!!!

The Mulk

If she's into religion you could tell her you're thinking of
Moses or Mohammed , Mo for short.
or Santiago or Jesus( pronounced the Spanish way) if she's insisting on a Catholic name.
Keep everything else between you are your wife

smaoifs

jacksn wrote:

My wife seems to think its a joke but I know deep down its not and she can be very imposing with her beliefs, im always afraid of saying anything when religion is involved for fear of upsetting her

When I first read that paragraph, I thought you were on about YOUR mother! Maybe your wife knows her mother better than you do and knows it is a joke?

sabat

Plenty of great saints' names available; how about Drogo, Gangulphus or Homobonus?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_patron_saints_by_occupation_and_activity

Lady is a tramp

It's simply not her decision to make. She had her time and her turn of choosing baby names. This is between you and your wife.

January

Tell her you're naming the baby Ichabod and there will be no further discussion. It's what we did when I was pregnant on my last and nobody liked the names I had picked. They were delighted when I chose the name I actually wanted to use after that.

jacksn

sword1 wrote: »

Suggest lucifer, have a fast escape planned!!!

Damien !

Eyes Down Field

Whatever you do, don't use some pretentious Irish name like Oisin or Saorise. Unless you are an Irish speaking family.

There are plenty of names with ties to religious nonsense that you can use to keep your ignorant MIA happy. Like James, David, Michael, John, Elizabeth, Catherine or Maria.

Or you can do the right thing sit down with your partner and decided between both of you, what name to use. Tell your​ MIL to go fck herself.

jimmycrackcorm

Just keep telling MIL that tippy haven't decided even after its born, when there'll be the most pressure to confirm a name.

You don't need to name it straight away so register it when she isn't around and then just tell her it was a last minute decision.

Alternatively if you have any middle names you can tack a saint to the end of those (never be used), or perhaps day it's named after your great great great grandparent.

Eyes Down Field

What is your last name OP. Some name don't sound good together.?

jacksn

Eyes Down Field wrote: »

What is your last name OP. Some name don't sound good together.?

Jackson

Peregrinus

Eyes Down Field wrote: »

Whatever you do, don't use some pretentious Irish name like Oisin or Saorise. Unless you are an Irish speaking family.

Your mother-in-law can't tell you how to name your baby, but Eyes Down Field apparently can.

Feel free to use a name that Eyes Down Field considers pretentious, if it appeals to you. I dare say she'll get over it in time.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Most first names in the west have their origins in the Judeo-Christian culture.

Unless you go really obscure, Pagan Ancient Irish for eg.

Anyway no matter what you decide on don't let her pressure you, it's not her child to name.

January

Eyes Down Field wrote: »

Whatever you do, don't use some pretentious Irish name like Oisin or Saorise. Unless you are an Irish speaking family.

There are plenty of names with ties to religious nonsense that you can use to keep your ignorant MIA happy. Like James, David, Michael, John, Elizabeth, Catherine or Maria.

Or you can do the right thing sit down with your partner and decided between both of you, what name to use. Tell your​ MIL to go fck herself.

Saoirse isn't pretentious would you ever get a clue.

gctest50

Judas

- nailed it

dr.fuzzenstein

Louis Cipher

Eyes Down Field

jacksn wrote:

Jackson

That rules out Michael and Janet then.

I like the Name David Jackson for a boy and, Anthony also works.
For a girl Anna or Jessica Jackson

CeilingFly

sword1 wrote: »

Suggest lucifer, have a fast escape planned!!!

Back up is Damien

scarepanda

Ha! We must be very pretentious so as we named our lo an Irish name and most of our names for boys and girls were Irish! I couldn't string a sentence together in Irish, much as I wish I could.

Anyways, OP, don't discuss your names list with anyone, it's no one else's business what you name your lo. I also wouldn't compromise by using a name suggested by your MIL as a middle name coz she is likely to only call them by that name and introduce them as it as well. Not everyone will ever be happy with your choice I can assure you, but that doesn't matter, because it's no one else's decision.

Also, you need to have a chat with your wife about setting boundaries with people, namely your MIL. She sounds like the kind of person that will take a mile if you give her an inch and you can't be having that when you are trying to rear your lo. You can't have her undermining you at every turn.

xzanti

Eyes Down Field wrote: »

Whatever you do, don't use some pretentious Irish name like Oisin or Saorise. Unless you are an Irish speaking family.

.

WTF is wrong with Oisin? That's a lovely name. Nothing pretentious about it.

Lady is a tramp

Eyes Down Field wrote: »

Whatever you do, don't use some pretentious Irish name like Oisin or Saorise. Unless you are an Irish speaking family.

You didn't even spell either of those names correctly! Oisín, and Saoirse.

Really I don't see how anyone could see either of those as pretentious names ... and presumably (seeing as this is an Irish website) chances are the parents are Irish. So why not use Irish names?

Eyes Down Field

January wrote:

Saoirse isn't pretentious would you ever get a clue.

Yes it is.

nikkibikki

What's wrong with a phone call when the baby is born, that goes a bit like this.

"A baby boy. His name is Oisin ."

That's what we did with our 3. Well, only one is called Oisin. They all have saints names as their second names but that's kinda accidental. The second names were family members we wanted to name them after.

-the fada doesn't come out right so I had to leave it out. It comes out like this

OisÃ႒­n

It's annoying me with no fada. We are an Irish speaking family btw and all 3 kids have Irish names.

Eyes Down Field

nikkibikki wrote:

"A baby boy. His name is OisÃ႒­n ."

Horrible pretentious name. Shame on you

Mod note
*please keep the thread on topic and resist insulting other users choices*

nikkibikki

Eyes Down Field wrote:

Horrible pretentious name. Shame on you

Jeez I won't sleep right now with the shame of it! :,)

Lady is a tramp

nikkibikki wrote: »

Jeez I won't sleep right now with the shame of it! :,)

Look do the decent thing and go get his name changed tomorrow by deed poll.

A random internet stranger doesn't like it. The horror of it all!

DrGuy

Maybe name it after St. Hubbins?

colm_mcm

Maybe do a middle name after a saint as a compromise?

Lady is a tramp

DrGuy wrote: »

Maybe name it after St. Hubbins?

My dad always wanted to call one of his sons after his local parish saint. St Feicheann.

Little Feicheann, can you imagine? (And yes, it's pronounced like Feckin'!)

Thankfully my mum won out on choosing my brothers' names!

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

nikkibikki

Lady is a tramp wrote:

A random internet stranger doesn't like it. The horror of it all!

My mother in law probably didn't either but she's had 9 years to get used to it!

Corca Baiscinn

nikkibikki wrote: »

What's wrong with a phone call when the baby is born, that goes a bit like this.

That's what we did with our 3. Well, only one is called Oisin.

-the fada doesn't come out right so I had to leave it out. It comes out like this

OisÃ႒­n
It's annoying me with no fada. We are an Irish speaking family btw and all 3 kids have Irish names.

Nikkibikki,just testing if my usual way of doing fada's works on Boards, apologies if you've tried it already Oisín

Yea it does, hit the ALT GR key at the same time as the vowel

Loveinapril

colm_mcm wrote: »

Maybe do a middle name after a saint as a compromise?

What compromise? It isn't the mother in law's kid!

OP, due to excitement and stuff, I engaged in conversations with my ma about names I like (none that we are honestly considering though) and she hates them. Every now and then she mentions how she doesn't want to be embarrassed introducing the kid/ asking how quirky it will be. I am just not getting into it anymore. There will be no more name discussions until Baby is here and noone will insult it then. It's the only option.

Please don't 'compromise'. It is not her child.

LirW

Nobody voted for Jackson Jackson here yet, I'm disappointed.

OU812

Lucifer was a saint, wasn't he?

We came under some pressure to give the kids a "family name" even as a second or third name, but we politely declined saying the kids were their own person & shouldn't be expected to live up to anybody's name. <- that excuse should work for you too.

Victor

Will the child not be named after a great/grandparent then?

There are lots of names that aren't as 'religious' like Concepta or Immaculata that are associated with saints. And remember that there are lots of local Irish saint names that are long out of fashion but that you might like - the best way to find these is to look at a list of Church of Ireland churches. :pac:

Loveinapril wrote: »

Please don't 'compromise'. It is not her child.

I don't think finding some balance is unreasonable.

Loveinapril

Victor wrote: »

I don't think finding some balance is unreasonable.

If it was between the OP and his wife, I would agree but why should they name THEIR child what the child's grandmother wants. As other posters pointed out, she had her time to name babies. This baby's name is none of her concern.

My mother likes very common, top 20 kinda names. I am delighted for her- but I won't be naming my baby something she wants. Why should I?!

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Victor

Loveinapril wrote: »

If it was between the OP and his wife, I would agree but why should they name THEIR child what the child's grandmother wants.

But there are thousands of names that could be called 'religious'. Maybe a name the parents like will suit granny.

LirW

But why should it suit granny in the first place?

nikkibikki

Corca Baiscinn wrote:

Yea it does, hit the ALT GR key at the same time as the vowel

Yep that works on the computer but I'm using the Android app.