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How fake of a person are you?

  • 06-04-2017 3:55pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 3,522 ✭✭✭


    I feel like I am such a fake person.

    I rarely respect or like people the way I pretend to. I generally do it because I find it makes things easier for me.

    I try and figure people out, to think out what they would expect of me or like me to say. Sometimes I plan conversations, to make myself seem smarter or informed etc.. It's not a proper way to deal with people at all, is it?

    What do you think, and how fake are you?


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,043 ✭✭✭Wabbit Ears


    We all wear a mask, some do it more than others, but we all do it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,790 ✭✭✭CalamariFritti


    That sounds like a lot of wasted energy, because ultimately ... who cares anyway?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,606 ✭✭✭brevity


    I feel like I am such a fake person.

    I rarely respect or like people the way I pretend to. I generally do it because I find it makes things easier for me.

    I try and figure people out, to think out what they would expect of me or like me to say. Sometimes I plan conversations, to make myself seem smarter or informed etc.. It's not a proper way to deal with people at all, is it?

    What do you think, and how fake are you?

    I do this all the time. I'd imagine we are not alone.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,828 ✭✭✭5rtytry56


    My own morsel of wisdom:
    Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,596 ✭✭✭hairyslug


    Possibly my wife is the only one who knows or who has ever known the real me.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,050 ✭✭✭nomdeboardie


    My username says it all :P


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,400 ✭✭✭me_irl


    Fake it 'til you make it. Just look at Trump.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 52,748 ✭✭✭✭tayto lover


    We all pretend.
    It's a coping mechanism.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,271 ✭✭✭Elemonator


    The Japanese have a proverb saying you have three faces, coined by a Jesuit missionary. The first face, you show to the world. The second face, you show to your close friends, and your family. The third face, you never show anyone. It is the truest reflection of who you are.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,681 ✭✭✭bodice ripper


    I am as I appear.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,134 ✭✭✭dashoonage


    dashoonage may or may not be my real name.


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,611 ✭✭✭✭ERG89


    Its sometimes better to pretend or lie than be honest. I try to be honest & imo it gets you into more trouble & issues than being "fake" ever will be.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,476 ✭✭✭neonsofa


    In work I would be quite fake because the people who present to me need me to be put together and knowledgeable and calm. I rarely actually am. I also pretend to understand them moreso than I actually do, not in a malicious way, but if they find something difficult or frustrating, I will try to empathise with them so that they don't feel like I am frustrated or belittling their fristration. Sometimes I feel very false because I am thinking one thing but saying another, but I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't do that. I suppose ideally my thoughts/feelings should match how I behave but in reality they don't always so I have to pretend for the sake of those I am trying to help.


    Everybody else knows I'm a mess though. I don't try to hide that if I'm not being paid to :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31,067 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    I'd consider myself polite to almost everybody!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,910 ✭✭✭begbysback


    If I were money then I'd be a three pound note


  • Registered Users Posts: 197 ✭✭99problems


    Not fake at all , people don't like me because of it. Well that and I'm an asshole


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    Not fake enough


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 714 ✭✭✭nkav86


    Completely, I hate people but have always worked in a customer facing role so I have the fake smile, tone of voice and just general pleasantness. But see me in person, I'm a surly b1tch type that doesn't want to be disturbed.... Delightful!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,275 ✭✭✭Your Face


    Well its either acting fake or jailtime so...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 151 ✭✭Press_Start


    Respect is earned not expected. I have my close friends, just one or two, who get my weird kind of ****ed up humour, but I still put on some form of manliness to feel alpha like we always do.
    With my other colleagues I try and make jokes as often as I can, Since I was young and a friend of mine who was always very outgoing went away for a few weeks, I started cracking jokes and being a bit more outgoing. It just stuck and now that's my personality among friends.
    With my mother, who I'm very close to, and my missus, I think I'm at my most natural, just making fun and laughing.
    I think it depends who you're with, and it's only human nature to have a few different personality qualities to adapt to, it's being naturally adaptive and important. Those who are the same everywhere tend to be less successful and tend to bumble a lot more.
    Like acting like you're at the bar when you're at work. It's fine to to have a standard level, that you can lean back to, but I feel that no-one is themselves all the time, you need to have professional and private personalities.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    Not very. I know when to keep my mouth shut and the right things to say (most of the time) but I have never constructed an identity for myself. For a long time, I didn't even realise people do that. I mean modeling themselves on someone they admire, and building their life in that sort of image, not the standard socially appropriate facade that most of us wear in order to rub along with people and tolerate personalities we'd rather not tolerate at times.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,811 ✭✭✭joe40


    "Sincereity is the most important thing, if you can fake that you have it made" heard that somewhere but don't know the source.
    Seriously I think everyone has a persona they display but I think it would be a potential problem if this is too far removed from your true self


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 32,688 ✭✭✭✭ytpe2r5bxkn0c1


    For good or bad, I'm afraid I'm just me. No point faking things. As for rehearing a conversation in advance... really?


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,794 ✭✭✭Aongus Von Bismarck


    I am an extremely genuine person.

    I rarely hide behind the convenience of social norms to conceal my contempt if someone has vexed me due to their own execrable standards.

    For instance, we have a middle aged woman called Frida who works as a general orderly in our office. Delivering mail, running errands etc. I generally have very little interaction with her as I have my own PA, Janos. Unfortunately Janos is now absent on Thursday afternoons as he is attending university part time (something I take some credit for, as my daily comments of his lack of formal education qualifications undoubtably got through to him.)

    Anyway, two Thursdays ago Frida lumbered in to my office making inane small talk about the weather, her pet beagle and some other nonsense I can't quite recall. I tried to ignore her and continue with my work. The worst part is she wears some ghastly cheap perfume (along with her disastrous and unflattering fashion sense). Within 30 seconds of her presence in my office, the entire room was filled with the putrid stench of her and her perfume.

    I cut across her asinine chatter and informed her that I found her aroma extremely noxious and I had neither the time nor the inclination to engage in conversation with her. I instructed her not to enter my office anymore and if she had any mail or documentation to deliver to me, she could leave it with any of the staff members outside to bring it to me. She left the room crying and had the audacity to report me to HR, despite the fact that she had invaded my office and knocked 2.5hrs of productivity from my schedule (I had to leave the office in order to let the place air out)

    I always find it is much better to be genuine than to adopt a false persona and hide behind a 'nice' veneer.


  • Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I doubt anyone could ever accuse Aonghus of being less than genuine. :)

    There are few people who have the ability to influence anothers life for the better in quite the way you do, Aonghus.

    In a few short strokes of the blade you have cut down your erstwhile PA and built him up again, having improved his life prospects immeasurably by pointing out his inexcusable lack of education, and improved everyone elses immediate environment by banishing the malodorous Frida from the vicinity. She probably wears some vulgar, neon-packaged rubbing alcohol, promoted by Britney Spears and sold as part of a 3 for 2 offer in a chain drugstore. In short, she barely deserves to live and everyone is better off without her.

    Keep up the good work, you're my role model.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,814 ✭✭✭harry Bailey esq



    I cut across her asinine chatter and informed her that I found her aroma extremely noxious......... She left the room crying and had the audacity to report me to HR

    Don't even start me on that HR shower,happiness reducers I call them. As for that ungrateful wench, I'd discipline that one with a heavy hand, a bit of a loose canon I'd wager.
    If I were you, I'd make a counter complaint about the toerag to be honest.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    You're too soft on them, Aongus. They'll get uppity.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,606 ✭✭✭brevity


    I am an extremely genuine person.

    I rarely hide behind the convenience of social norms to conceal my contempt if someone has vexed me due to their own execrable standards.

    For instance, we have a middle aged woman called Frida who works as a general orderly in our office. Delivering mail, running errands etc. I generally have very little interaction with her as I have my own PA, Janos. Unfortunately Janos is now absent on Thursday afternoons as he is attending university part time (something I take some credit for, as my daily comments of his lack of formal education qualifications undoubtably got through to him.)

    Anyway, two Thursdays ago Frida lumbered in to my office making inane small talk about the weather, her pet beagle and some other nonsense I can't quite recall. I tried to ignore her and continue with my work. The worst part is she wears some ghastly cheap perfume (along with her disastrous and unflattering fashion sense). Within 30 seconds of her presence in my office, the entire room was filled with the putrid stench of her and her perfume.

    I cut across her asinine chatter and informed her that I found her aroma extremely noxious and I had neither the time nor the inclination to engage in conversation with her. I instructed her not to enter my office anymore and if she had any mail or documentation to deliver to me, she could leave it with any of the staff members outside to bring it to me. She left the room crying and had the audacity to report me to HR, despite the fact that she had invaded my office and knocked 2.5hrs of productivity from my schedule (I had to leave the office in order to let the place air out)

    I always find it is much better to be genuine than to adopt a false persona and hide behind a 'nice' veneer.

    You sound like someone who had some video tapes to return.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,946 ✭✭✭indioblack


    We all have the Chameleon ability. It's vital to live in a world with other people.
    Sometimes it's fake, false, conscious, behaviour. Sometimes people are unaware of it - it's just a reaction to oil the wheels, avoid possibly regrettable friction.
    Where I work you get the same people turning up everyday - and they aren't exactly the same everyday. All manner of things will change their attitudes and behaviour.
    Whether we like it or not we respond differently to different people - dependent on how we feel, what we want etc.
    One of my favourites is a guy who is told so and so is on the line to him. Before he picks up the receiver he always says, "I don't want to speak to him".
    Then he puts the phone to his ear and goes, "Hello, mate, how are you?".


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,992 ✭✭✭Mongfinder General


    brevity wrote: »
    You sound like someone who had some video tapes to return.

    He just wants to fit in...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,682 ✭✭✭✭Alf Veedersane


    There is an idea of a paleoperson; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real paleoperson: only an entity, something illusory. And though he can hide his cold gaze, and you can shake his hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense your lifestyles are probably comparable... he simply is not there.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,682 ✭✭✭✭Alf Veedersane


    I always have an image of Harry Flashman when I read a post by Aongus.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,547 ✭✭✭Agricola


    Whatever gene you need in order to be able to fake the various attributes of being a people person, or to be able to manipulate others to your own ends, I just don't have. Trying to fake liking people I don't or showing interest where I have none is next to impossible for me.
    Life would be a lot easier if I could.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,390 ✭✭✭please helpThank YOU


    100 Per Cent Truly Genuine Person I am.


  • Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    100 Per Cent Truly Genuine Person I am.

    Yoda?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,028 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    Brutal honesty is the best policy

    Sugar coating is for cakes


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 953 ✭✭✭Neames


    Be yourself.

    Worst advice ever.

    At work I'm different than I am at home. Just as well they'd walk all over me otherwise.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 182 ✭✭Jodotman


    I just don't like people. I tolerate some people but mostly I hate them.
    I do put on an act to friends but I always find faults.

    We are all going to end up dead with maggots eating my balls anyway.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 399 ✭✭Paleblood


    I'm quite fake at times. I'm not dishonest and I don't hurt or cheat people, but I'd blow smoke up anyone's arse. It goes a long way.

    I first noticed it when I was 17. I was working in this posh lady's house and I spent the whole week complimenting her on her home, her gardens, her successful children. I don't know why really. I was quite poor and I guess I was either impressed, intimidated or both.

    When we were finishing up on the Friday she gave me her Technics sound system. She said she was upgrading, and I'm sure she was, but the system she gave me was in mint condition and still on the market for €1200.

    Since then it's benefited me a lot, from the free use of villas in Spain to getting my return flights to Australia paid for. And last year I landed a job with a law firm as a result of it. None of it from friends or people close to me. Just people I rub shoulders with that like listening to nice things being said about them and their families.

    Call it kissing ass, networking, whatever. It's ruthless and I'm good at it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,097 ✭✭✭stevek93


    I am a different person when I visit the parents.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,814 ✭✭✭harry Bailey esq


    Paleblood wrote: »
    I'm quite fake at times. I'm not dishonest and I don't hurt or cheat people, but I'd blow smoke up anyone's arse. It goes a long way.

    I first noticed it when I was 17. I was working in this posh lady's house

    When we were finishing up on the Friday she said she was upgrading

    Call it kissing ass, networking, whatever. It's ruthless and I'm good at it.

    Methaphorically kissing ass,or just a week's rimming?Either ways,I'm impressed.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭maudgonner


    I'm not Maud Gonne,
    Not Maud Gonne,
    No I'm not Maud Gonne,
    Not Maud Gonne
    I'm not Maud Gonne,
    Not Maud Gonne,
    No I'm not Maud Gonne,
    Not Maud Gonne

    No I'm not Maud Gonne
    (But then again neither was she.)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,814 ✭✭✭harry Bailey esq


    I always have an image of Harry Flashman when I read a post by Aongus.

    Harry may be flash,but gaudiness doesn't equate to class .To appreciate gussys musings,having some class is a pre-requisite. I'd probably be overstepping the mark by describing him as a misunderstood genius,but then again,a great poster would be an understatement so Aongus is in a limbo of sorts.The marmite of after hours if you will.Ive certainly learnt a lot of things about myself over the past few years as a direct result of his cryptic nuggets of wisdom.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,130 ✭✭✭Surreptitious


    I'm not even a little bit fake and it doesn't help you get by being honest.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,303 ✭✭✭Temptamperu


    I keeps it real!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,956 ✭✭✭✭Omackeral


    100 Per Cent Truly Genuine Person I am.

    I reckon you're more like this ;
    Irish Culture Materialistic race of People all about 171 Cars , New Houses , etc.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,350 ✭✭✭doolox


    Agendas.
    Guile.
    Two faced natures.
    Public face versus private thoughts.
    House devil and street angel.
    Treating people differently according to usefulness and rank in the social pecking order.
    Power games.
    These social phenomena I find very uncomfortable dealing with or taking into account in my dealings with "normal" human beings.
    For 52 yrs I thought that I was the same and functioned the same as other human beings. For 52 yrs I was bullied, ostracised and isolated by a significant number of people that I was associated with through school, work and in a social context.

    Then I was diagnosed with Aspergers and began to find out my true nature as a person apart and different to most other people on the planet.

    I no longer feel guilty about acting in my day to day interactions with people.

    I have spent the past 6 years learning about "normal" people and learning how to cope with them and "blending in" without feeling like a fraud.

    Everyone has their own limitations, fears, phobias etc which they hide or minimise in the public space.

    Hopefully I have learned to do the same.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 7,466 ✭✭✭blinding


    Sure I think I'm lovely......but sometimes I catch myself being a bit false..

    Maybe its the only way to hold on to one's sanity......


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,578 ✭✭✭monkeysnapper


    Paleblood wrote: »
    I'm quite fake at times. I'm not dishonest and I don't hurt or cheat people, but I'd blow smoke up anyone's arse. It goes a long way.

    I first noticed it when I was 17. I was working in this posh lady's house and I spent the whole week complimenting her on her home, her gardens, her successful children. I don't know why really. I was quite poor and I guess I was either impressed, intimidated or both.

    When we were finishing up on the Friday she gave me her Technics sound system. She said she was upgrading, and I'm sure she was, but the system she gave me was in mint condition and still on the market for €1200.

    Since then it's benefited me a lot, from the free use of villas in Spain to getting my return flights to Australia paid for. And last year I landed a job with a law firm as a result of it. None of it from friends or people close to me. Just people I rub shoulders with that like listening to nice things being said about them and their families.

    Call it kissing ass, networking, whatever. It's ruthless and I'm good at it.

    You sound like a really nice person , and I bet ur really good at your job , you deserve all the good that's coming to you........;)





    I'd love to go on a nice holiday to Spain....if only I could afford it . ;(


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I used to be a lot more diplomatic.

    Now, I find honesty and sincerity just so much easier in the long run. If I don't like someone, I won't pretend I do. If, say, I don't like a friend's behaviour, I'll say it to them. Have lost a few friends who deserved criticism but couldn't handle it...pffffffffft.


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