Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Do you ever think about those you've loved before?

2

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,016 ✭✭✭mirwillbeback


    Perhaps you should have chosen your love mates better in the past then

    Sounds like your ex has nothing to regret


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,642 ✭✭✭MRnotlob606


    Well, currently I am just out of my first relationship. I honestly find it so weird. One minute you think someone loves you to pieces and the next minute you ask them if they love you, and they cannot answer.

    It feels very numbing to be honest. To love someone who doesn't have the same feelings about you is the most isolating experience I've ever felt. In history, there has been eulogies, enconiums, even obituaries about loved ones, but the thing I learned is you need to be stoical. You can't control other people's opinions of you, but you can control how to react to external events.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 200 ✭✭slovakchick


    We all have regrets, its part of the human condition
    Sounds like your ex has nothing to regret


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    Do you never fantasise when love making?
    Sure but I don't fantasize the my partner is my ex, that would be tragic.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,759 ✭✭✭jobbridge4life


    I've never had an ex so I can't comment on it from a personal perspective but I'd think it would surely be very natural to think about people you loved? If someone really meant as much to you that you loved them then it seems only normal to me that they would be in your thoughts on some level forever. I don't mean that you'd always think of them, or even regularly but surely they'd still hold some presence in your head?

    I've quite a number of 'ex-friends', I do on occasion think of them.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 200 ✭✭slovakchick


    Maybe you need to open your eyes many happy alternatives to your line of thinking
    Sure but I don't fantasize the my partner is my ex, that would be tragic.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,394 ✭✭✭Pac1Man


    Maybe you need to open your eyes many happy alternatives to your line of thinking

    Surely opening your eyes ruins the illusion of it being someone else?


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,626 ✭✭✭Glenster


    I'm still friends with one or two of them on Snapchat.

    And I do find myself analysing their stories quite a bit....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 200 ✭✭slovakchick


    I dont know perhaps the other 'serial psychogical cheaters' have another view
    Pac1Man wrote: »
    Surely opening your eyes ruins the illusion of it being someone else?


  • Advertisement
  • Administrators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,759 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭hullaballoo


    I don't have a huge number of exes as most of them were fairly long term but yes, I'd think about them occasionally. Not with regret or pangs of longing, though, mostly just generally wondering are they doing ok for themselves.

    The regret and pangs of longing thoughts all relate to women who should now be exes but I was too stupid to pick up on the blatantly obvious signs. Dat hindsight tho.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,900 ✭✭✭rannerap


    I'm still friends with all my exes on facebook. Its nice to see them getting on in life and see how they are doing. I dont hold any ill will, or wish that I was still with any of them.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,286 ✭✭✭dinorebel


    Yes but the restraining orders limit how much I can contact them.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,058 ✭✭✭whoopsadoodles


    OH MY GOD WHY DO YOU PUT THE QUOTE UNDER THE TEXT??
    I dont know perhaps the other 'serial psychogical cheaters' have another view


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    I've never imagined my partner is someone else in bed. Ughhhh. Depressing thought! Why?!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 200 ✭✭slovakchick


    So what do you imagine? How beautiful ireland will be some day??
    I've never imagined my partner is someone else in bed. Ughhhh. Depressing thought! Why?!


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    So what do you imagine? How beautiful ireland will be some day??

    :D I'm there, in the moment, he's far from hideous!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,626 ✭✭✭Glenster


    I've never imagined my partner is someone else in bed. Ughhhh. Depressing thought! Why?!

    To spice things up a little bit.

    Sometimes I imagine she's my 3rd year physics teacher, Ms Flynn.

    Or that she's a terrorist and I'm trying to get the location of the bomb out of her.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    Glenster wrote: »
    To spice things up a little bit.

    Sometimes I imagine she's my 3rd year physics teacher, Ms Flynn.

    Or that she's a terrorist and I'm trying to get the location of the bomb out of her.

    I approve :D Second one's more in my line :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,901 ✭✭✭Gunslinger92


    So what do you imagine? How beautiful ireland will be some day??


    Don't imagine anything, there's no need for the mind to go walkabout to imaginary scenarios if who you're sleeping with is doing a good enough job :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 249 ✭✭gargargar


    I went out with someone for a few years. We lived together for a while. We ended up breaking apart due to her wanting to go travelling and me wanting to concentrate on my career. This was 15 years ago. She wasn't my first or last serious relationship but she would be the one I would think about.

    I hadn't seen her in over 10 years and bumped into her at a bus stop. It's funny because when we were together she was a bit 'alternative' quite arty, short hair etc. I couldn't believe the change. She had gone all suits and corporate. Loads of makeup (where she didn't really wear it before). To be honest she didn't even sound like I remembered. She gone all D4. Kinda wrecked my lovely memory.


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 200 ✭✭slovakchick


    How mindful and focussed you sll are i would say u are so adventurous and german the sack
    Don't imagine anything, there's no need for the mind to go walkabout to imaginary scenarios if who you're sleeping with is doing a good enough job :D


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,183 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    u are so adventurous and german the sack
    Dunno about that. Was with a German lass for a time and dull she was not. Pretty much every time she left me a grinning dried out husk of a man. Well more than usual anyway.

    Thinking about an ex in bed? Nope, never have. Wouldn't really occur to me TBH and wouldn't think it "adventurous". Adventurous for me involves suits of armour and feathered bum ticklers. I've said too much....

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,043 ✭✭✭Wabbit Ears


    Friends with most on facebook.

    Most of those I think about who I loved are ones where it never happened for one reason or another and all those what-if's..


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    How mindful and focussed you sll are i would say u are so adventurous and german the sack

    I think that is the point. Maybe if you're bored, you have to imagine someone else. There are plenty of ways of avoiding a repetitive sex life, other than pretending to switch partners, in your head. Different strokes for different folks! :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,230 ✭✭✭Merkin


    There was one particular guy during University in the U.K. who I had really amazing chemistry with, complete sizzle from the onset. We'd hang out, smoke pot, listen to Bob Dylan and enjoyed lots of snogging and flirting. I was a wild child at the time and didn't want to get tied down. Slept with him one night and then I didn't hear from him for a few days so when he came to see me I was so so rude to him. How very DARE he wait that long to contact me!! Mixed messages much from me???!!

    Anyway, I got together with someone else soon after and didn't see him.

    I never ever forgot him though. Had marriage proposals from boyfriends after and kissed a lot of frogs and then one time, a whole thirteen years after seeing him last I looked him up on Facebook, sent him a PM and he replied right away. He said he'd never forgotten me and I was always the one that got away. He was so thrilled.

    He proposed six months later and we were married within a year. And we've two gorgeous little boys :):)

    So I guess if there is someone extra special where you feel it shouldn't have ended, or in my case never properly got going in the first place, then you should definitely pursue it!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 200 ✭✭slovakchick


    Its not about that lol, climax cums in all shapes and sizes, imagining is part of the human mind once the lights are off just go with it, ive also had ons experiences where i imagined i was with someone else too
    I think that is the point. Maybe if you're bored, you have to imagine someone else. There are plenty of ways of avoiding a repetitive sex life, other than pretending to switch partners, in your head. Different strokes for different folks! :rolleyes:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 200 ✭✭slovakchick


    For a quantum of time, says it all really
    Wibbs wrote: »
    Dunno about that. Was with a German lass for a time and dull she was not. Pretty much every time she left me a grinning dried out husk of a man. Well more than usual anyway.

    Thinking about an ex in bed? Nope, never have. Wouldn't really occur to me TBH and wouldn't think it "adventurous". Adventurous for me involves suits of armour and feathered bum ticklers. I've said too much....


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    Its not about that lol, climax cums in all shapes and sizes, imagining is part of the human mind once the lights are off just go with it, ive also had ons experiences where i imagined i was with someone else too

    Yep, I partly agree but other people is one thing I've never felt like imagining. Despite having been in a relationship with more than one person at the same time. I'm with the sort of person I'd probably be imagining if I was with someone else instead, though.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭realdanbreen


    . She was from Brazil and miss her, and not just the oral sex but guess you dont know what you got til its gone

    You don't know what you're missing! Since her teeth fell out she's way better at it.:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 200 ✭✭slovakchick


    But its not really the person you are imaging that gets you off its the scenario you are imagining
    Yep, I partly agree but other people is one thing I've never felt like imagining. Despite having been in a relationship with more than one person at the same time. I'm with the sort of person I'd probably be imagining if I was with someone else instead, though.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    But its not really the person you are imaging that gets you off its the scenario you are imagining

    Do you mean in a forbidden fruit sort of way?

    See, all of mine are just better with my boyfriend in them. That's just me.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,203 ✭✭✭Parchment


    Merkin wrote: »
    There was one particular guy during University in the U.K. who I had really amazing chemistry with, complete sizzle from the onset. We'd hang out, smoke pot, listen to Bob Dylan and enjoyed lots of snogging and flirting. I was a wild child at the time and didn't want to get tied down. Slept with him one night and then I didn't hear from him for a few days so when he came to see me I was so so rude to him. How very DARE he wait that long to contact me!! Mixed messages much from me???!!

    Anyway, I got together with someone else soon after and didn't see him.

    I never ever forgot him though. Had marriage proposals from boyfriends after and kissed a lot of frogs and then one time, a whole thirteen years after seeing him last I looked him up on Facebook, sent him a PM and he replied right away. He said he'd never forgotten me and I was always the one that got away. He was so thrilled.

    He proposed six months later and we were married within a year. And we've two gorgeous little boys :):)

    So I guess if there is someone extra special where you feel it shouldn't have ended, or in my case never properly got going in the first place, then you should definitely pursue it!

    Wow - this just made my day! what a story!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 200 ✭✭slovakchick


    Even when u dated too people at the same time?
    Do you mean in a forbidden fruit sort of way?

    See, all of mine are just better with my boyfriend in them. That's just me.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,286 ✭✭✭dinorebel


    There once was a Slovak chick;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    Even when u dated too people at the same time?

    Thought of both.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,759 ✭✭✭Winterlong


    dinorebel wrote: »
    There once was a Slovak chick;)

    ...who called out someone else's name during sweet love making?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,246 ✭✭✭✭Dyr


    mud wrote: »

    Are exes ever on your mind and why?

    Only when I hear about development plans for certain remote areas :(


  • Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭Cerisepink


    Oh all the time. I have a hard time letting people go so anyone I've ever had feelings for in the past I still think of them now and then. One or two I've messaged to see how they are doing. Good or bad, I can't imagine just forgetting about people who were once so important in my life.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 200 ✭✭slovakchick


    how considerate :p lady power
    Thought of both.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,979 ✭✭✭Mr.Saturn


    Pretty sure it's the sole reason for Facebook's existence.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,214 ✭✭✭cbyrd


    Merkin wrote:
    So I guess if there is someone extra special where you feel it shouldn't have ended, or in my case never properly got going in the first place, then you should definitely pursue it!


    Agree completely.
    I let someone go 20 years ago, on the rebound I got pregnant and tried to build a life. I never ever forgot him.
    My marriage broke down and I looked him up on Facebook. He was separated too. It took about 3 weeks to get back together and we're expecting our second baby in a few weeks. My expectations were not wrong. He's the love of my life.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,130 ✭✭✭Surreptitious


    I wouldn't even go to any of their funerals.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 200 ✭✭slovakchick


    Both of them are his children, thats fate
    cbyrd wrote: »
    Agree completely.
    I let someone go 20 years ago, on the rebound I got pregnant and tried to build a life. I never ever forgot him.
    My marriage broke down and I looked him up on Facebook. He was separated too. It took about 3 weeks to get back together and we're expecting our second baby in a few weeks. My expectations were not wrong. He's the love of my life.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,768 ✭✭✭✭tomwaterford


    Bambi wrote: »
    Only when I hear about development plans for certain remote areas :(

    This reads like youve murdered them and are fearful theyll get dug up? :eek:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,505 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    Yeah, the summer after secondary met this girl.

    She had a Mustang and we used to drive around in it and listen to Radiohead.

    On her 18th birthday we got matching tattoos.

    We used to steal her parents alcohol and climb up on her roof and talk about the future.

    Never thought that one day I'd have lost her.

    Someone told me she had the tattoo removed.

    In a parallel universe, she'd still be mine.

    ... that was the summer of 69 ...


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,505 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    that's sad for you

    And him


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 200 ✭✭slovakchick


    What he doesnt know wont kill him
    lawred2 wrote: »
    And him


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,246 ✭✭✭✭Dyr


    This reads like youve murdered them and are fearful theyll get dug up? :eek:

    Murder is such an ugly word
    I just think people should leave the past buried in unmarked graves


  • Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I often think about friends I've lost. When it comes to dating and relationships there is one man who pops in to my head now and then. It's strange because we only met three times. We were chatting and skyping for a bit first. Then real life rolled around and I was beyond smitten. After one date. I next spent a few nights with him. The third time I saw him it was to say blaa blaa not going to work blaa blaa.

    It was only a small thing but damn I fell hard. He was all the things. Of course now I know that doesn't exist, nobody can be all of the things.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 200 ✭✭slovakchick


    I often think about friends I've lost. When it comes to dating and relationships there is one man who pops in to my head now and then. It's strange because we only met three times. We were chatting and skyping for a bit first. Then real life rolled around and I was beyond smitten. After one date. I next spent a few nights with him. The third time I saw him it was to say blaa blaa not going to work blaa blaa.
    It was only a small thing but damn I fell hard. He was all the things. Of course now I know that doesn't exist, nobody can be all of the things.
    So why do you think about him rather than guys you dated for long periods?


  • Advertisement
Advertisement