Teenage Disco bans inappropriate outfits

Roger Hassenforder · 17-02-2017 05:06PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I They're kids, they're finding themselves. Leave them off to learn about the big bad world themselves, if wearing revealing clothes is the worst theybdo then the parents should count their lucky stars

Can you not see the contradiction in this?

My kids (girls and boy) are my responsibility until they're adults. Fact.
I'm not going to let them loose and let them figure the world out. I'll protect them from the world and from themselves as long as I can, while trying to equip them with the tools to make informed decisions, and with enough self respect and with respect for others, so when they do finally fcuk off, I'll have done my best. Mightn't be enough, but it's all I had.

And no, they won't be locked in a tower, but they won't be going out dressed like a hooker to try and appeal to some 13 yr old boy who doesn't know a condom from a happy meal balloon, but could still knock her up with a few bottles of fat frog on board.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 17-02-2017 05:06PM

kunst nugget wrote: »

Nothing makes me special and she doesn't have to care about my opinion if she doesn't want to. I'd just prefer my kids to be taken seriously and not dismissed as vapid.

That's a weird one, you wouldn't take that approach with sex so why would you take it with other areas of life. I tried to teach them about sensible approaches to most areas of life - I'm not talking about sitting them down and saying they can't do this or that but having conversations about having respect for yourself.

Teach them sensible options and advise them on the right roads to take but understand they're their own person and they'll want to find themselves. People are giving kids such a hard time for wanting to fit in with their peers and celebs on Instagram but you just said you don't want your child judged as dummies. You want your child to fit in and be taken seriously as responsible children. So it's basically how you want them to fit in vs how they want to fit in.

If your child is judged on clothes she wears or makeup then that's not your child's fault.

17-02-2017 05:35PM

Most parents don't want their teenage daughters getting pregnant, Lexie. That's about it really.

Roger Hassenforder · 17-02-2017 05:36PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I have a man, a man who insists he likes me better with bed hair and no makeup, who'll give me kisses when I have morning breath and panda eyes. He doesn't get to tell me what to wear or what to put on my face or how to wear my hair.

And thus described are most men I'd wager.

LexieOnRale wrote: »

And maybe those girls are wearing what's fashionable because the bloggers or celebs they admire are wearing the same on social media, they might wear the same style clothes and indeed swap clothes with their friends. I've been a young girl, and the last thing I'm sure they're thinking is wearing a short skirt to get the attention of a leery aul lad.

Again, the preoccupation with leery auld lads, but dismissing the possibility of someone dressing to make themselves more attractive to opposite sex (not necessarily auld lads) and/or appear (literally) fitter than the competition.

mdwexford · 17-02-2017 05:45PM

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

And no, they won't be locked in a tower, but they won't be going out dressed like a hooker to try and appeal to some 13 yr old boy who doesn't know a condom from a happy meal balloon, but could still knock her up with a few bottles of fat frog on board.

Got a good laugh out of this.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 17-02-2017 05:49PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Most parents don't want their teenage daughters getting pregnant, Lexie. That's about it really.

I agree, but keeping them under lock and key and being super strict is not the way to prevent this

Widdershins · 17-02-2017 08:01PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I agree, but keeping them under lock and key and being super strict is not the way to prevent this

I agree. I think it'll lead to the opposite of the desired result. Sneaking out, lying, taking risks because of being prohibited from spending a decent amount of time together, and parents not even knowing who the boyfriend or girlfriend is.

X6.430macman · 17-02-2017 08:14PM

Widdershins wrote:

I agree. I think it'll lead to the opposite of the desired result. Sneaking out, lying, taking risks because of being prohibited from spending a decent amount of time together, and parents not even knowing who the boyfriend or girlfriend is.

Or if they even have a bf/gf at all most likely won't even know

infogiver · 17-02-2017 08:19PM

pajo1981 wrote: »

How about this outfit:

Or, if black's not your colour:

That's right. Anybody who doesn't think tits and arse on display is suitable for a 14 year old really wants to see them in a burkha.
Yawn.

infogiver · 17-02-2017 08:25PM

eviltwin wrote: »

Again, this simply isn't true. While having a baby at 14 is not ideal for anyone its a gross exaggeration to say it will ruin her life.

It will change her life forever though eviltwin.
Abortion, adoption, keeping the baby, whatever direction she takes, having a baby at 14/15/16 will not have a positive effect on that girls life.

Roger Hassenforder · 17-02-2017 08:57PM

DredFX wrote: »

Women who dress up provocatively do it for other women as much as they do for men.

More often than not, the other females are competition.

17-02-2017 09:11PM

Im bemused by all these people who are going to have talks with their teenage children about being 'sensible' if only it was so simple.

buried · 17-02-2017 10:49PM

I pity the young people today and the absolute $hitty, stressful, white noise they must constantly be subjected to at all times with this social media facebook, selfie photo acceptance culture through the touchscreen phone bull$hit. I get down on my hands and knees and thank the universe I didn't have to go through that useless noise growing up in the 90's. It's totally f**ked

X6.430macman · 17-02-2017 11:10PM

buried wrote:

I pity the young people today and the absolute $hitty, stressful, white noise they must constantly be subjected to at all times with this social media facebook, selfie photo acceptance culture through the touchscreen phone bull$hit. I get down on my hands and knees and thank the universe I didn't have to go through that useless noise growing up in the 90's. It's totally f**ked

Agreed 100%

DredFX · 17-02-2017 11:30PM

Was my post deleted? It's disappeared?

infogiver · 17-02-2017 11:41PM

buried wrote: »

I pity the young people today and the absolute $hitty, stressful, white noise they must constantly be subjected to at all times with this social media facebook, selfie photo acceptance culture through the touchscreen phone bull$hit. I get down on my hands and knees and thank the universe I didn't have to go through that useless noise growing up in the 90's. It's totally f**ked

The 80s was even better.
No money no clothes not even a landline never mind a mobile.
Everyone worked in a factory or buggered off to London.
Happy daze.

Grandeeod · 17-02-2017 11:47PM

buried wrote: »

I pity the young people today and the absolute $hitty, stressful, white noise they must constantly be subjected to at all times with this social media facebook, selfie photo acceptance culture through the touchscreen phone bull$hit. I get down on my hands and knees and thank the universe I didn't have to go through that useless noise growing up in the 90's. It's totally f**ked

Or the 80s either.:D But the 90s were good too and I was young enough aswell!

buried · 17-02-2017 11:51PM

It's crazy though isn't it? If coming of age wasn't stressful and mind-altering in itself, these poor ba$tards nowadays must be subjected to this digital media social ouija board where they probably feel all eyes are on them at all times. Its very depressing to me and I don't have to deal with it at all. In my eyes, it probably wouldn't be so bad if this was some sort of new youth revolt/rebellion thing against the mainstream and corporate world but it's the same corporate, digital multi-billion dollar world funding and pushing this absolute stressful plastic nonsense.

Minderbinder · 18-02-2017 04:59AM

mariaalice wrote: »

Im bemused by all these people who are going to have talks with their teenage children about being 'sensible' if only it was so simple.

I think helping them develop into young people with self-respect begins a lot earlier than that.

Some seem to be suggesting that as soon as these kids hit puberty the job of parenting is complete. Rules and saying 'no' at that stage will apparently hinder their personal growth and we must let the little darlings off to make their own mistakes for fear that in a few years they won't have any friends to go out binge drinking with.

hytrogen · 18-02-2017 09:47AM

infogiver wrote:

So any event anywhere in the world that sets a dress code including The Epsom Derby, Royal Ascot no my cousin Emma's black tie 21st are all as a direct consequence of Cathloicsm?!? You did say next question. So, can you explain the connection between Catholiscm and The Epsom Derby then?

Do we really need to go back to the Crusades? This is AH after all no the LC history grinds.. I know a few lads would like to ride into battle and all at this but..
:P

hytrogen · 18-02-2017 09:55AM

buried wrote:

I pity the young people today and the absolute $hitty, stressful, white noise they must constantly be subjected to at all times with this social media facebook, selfie photo acceptance culture through the touchscreen phone bull$hit. I get down on my hands and knees and thank the universe I didn't have to go through that useless noise growing up in the 90's. It's totally f**ked

There's a very simple cure for that: Parents don't buy your brat an iPhone or muffle them with a tablet and headphones at the dinner table because you "simple can't face the stress of conversing with my child" please, or better yet don't have kids if you're going to ignore them and not take the abusive woes the world throws at them when they're unable to deal with it!
Rgds a responsible millenial observer

nice_guy80 · 18-02-2017 09:59AM

Children's childhoods are being stolen from them by technology and social media.

That's the way I see it.

X6.430macman · 18-02-2017 11:20AM

I see babies barely old enough to walk in buggies and their parents giving them a phone to play with or watch something on, has the world gone completely barking

_Brian · 18-02-2017 11:29AM

mariaalice wrote: »

Im bemused by all these people who are going to have talks with their teenage children about being 'sensible' if only it was so simple.

It's far from simple but it is possible.
The key is ongoing conversation and engagement all along so they are used to conversing with their parents. It should be a gradual process and not left till the last minute when they are teenagers and then try and influence their decisions.
Parenting is an everyday job, building trust and respect over the small things.

Ursus Horribilis · 18-02-2017 01:40PM

I don't like seeing girls that young going out dressed like that either but it's now the accepted norm. We've all been that age so we all know what peer pressure is like. Not to mention the sheer terror of being different and standing out from the crowd. I've heard young ones interviewed on the radio and they believe that if you don't dress like that, no fella will look at you twice. So there's competition amongst themselves and competition for the lads. I'm sure most teenage lads aren't complaining though.

MarkY91 · 18-02-2017 08:21PM

My 14 year old twin cousins got me to order some of Kylie jenners new fashion line for them. Kylie is a woman famous for big fake lips, and a big fake arse. Her clothing has phrases like "thick" on it meaning her thick thighs or arse.

These girls are 14 and are totally brainwashed by such a "celebrity" to feel they need such clothing to fit in. I blame social media and such internet celebrities as to why this generation of teens dress and act like skanks.

At age 14 I was playing Pokémon and my worst fear was having to be the kid who had to retrieve the football from under the car. I haven't seen my cousin's not on their iPhone in about 3 years. Either taking selfies or endlessly scrolling their facebook news feed.

Sad.

X6.430macman · 18-02-2017 08:43PM

MarkY91 wrote:

At age 14 I was playing PokÃ©mon and my worst fear was having to be the kid who had to retrieve the football from under the car. I haven't seen my cousin's not on their iPhone in about 3 years. Either taking selfies or endlessly scrolling their facebook news feed.

Your cousin's are a bit of an exception

infogiver · 18-02-2017 09:30PM

X6.430macman wrote: »

Your cousin's are a bit of an exception

No they're not. The Jenner/Kardashians have infiltrated every teenage bedroom in the western 1st world

Deer · 18-02-2017 11:32PM

My experience with the girls in my family (daughter 17, sister 15 and niece 14) is that their main motivation for wearing the skimpy dresses is because all the other girls are wearing them. My daughter pals around with a fairly varied bunch of girls and whenever I have dropped or collected them from a disco I never fail to be surprised at the outfits... Varying degrees of over exposure even with the "goth/hipster/emo" girls. Now at 17 with my daughter she and her friends have outgrown this phase but it was pretty disturbing while it was going on. I always had a rule with my daughter - either legs, boobs or belly. If she showed all no discussion she wasn't going out in it. I also made sure she was dropped off and posed upnfeom disco. Myself and other parents had a car pool thing going on. Would have been glad though if the venues had instigated these rules. I feel it actually takes a lot of pressure off the girls.
With my sister, she is not too bad, she tends to stick to just the short skirt and tee shirt if she bothers to go at all but she does also feel the pressure to dress a certain way.
My niece though scares the living bejesus out of me. As well as being motivated by what the other girls are doing I've seen her on instagram posing in a bikini sucking her little finger. There are plenty of pics of her wearing a skirt so short and posing that she's had to put a stickie on her crotch to hide it. I've had a few chats with her on what she wears and she has told me boys want sexy and if she doesn't act sexy then she will not get any boys. My brother is bringing her up on his own and he is clueless. I've given her a few good talks and more and over stepped the aunt mark a good few times but to no avail. She definitely could do with a dress restriction. It's a bloody nightmare. She came home with a necklace of hickeys and another time a condom dropped out of her pocket. I am seriously thinking of bringing her if I can to get the pill. At 14. No doubt some idealistic twat will have no problem with this and take me up on it but it's just not appropriate and the girl and others her age are acting far beyond their years due to lack of parenting and the early sexualistion that I have seen coming for years with music videos, music itself and what is fed to kids on TV... And YouTube. It's scary. Fair play to the venue.

Cameo · 19-02-2017 01:42AM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I read a comment upthread earlier about kids dressing like prostitutes therefore deserve to be treated like a prostitute. What a dispicable thing to say. I think it's that attitude that people need to change a lot more urgently than a young girl needs to change her clothes. It doesn't matter what someone is wearing, young or old, promiscuous or conservative - they deserve to be treated with respect. If men can't help but feel sexual urges when he sees a pair of legs or a bit of cleavage, then I suggest he gets help rather than blaming a teenager for what she was wearing.

Although clothes today are quite revealing, it was the same (though much less stylish) when I was a teenager, at underage discos/raves the girls wore tiny belt like skirts, micromini skirts or those tiny rara skirts and those awful boob tube tops with knee high boots usually white.
School skirts were taken up or rolled up at the waist, and the school had to bring in a different style of skirt that puffed out if you attempted to roll it up. This is not a new thing, generations have been doing it.

I agree dressing like a prostitute doesn't mean deserving to be treated like one, but it's best to minimise that risk too at such a young age. As you said, people need to take responsibility for themselves - plus, parents need to take responsibility for their under-age children.

And the extreme chavvy stripper trend could never be stylish, in my opinion.

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I can only speak for myself of course but I don't display legs too much, I like more midi length dresses/skirts because I wouldn't be comfortable in something short I don't feel it would suit me.
I may wear low cut tops for different reasons. A) I've a decent rack b) certain accessories I might want to wear c) the occasion d) the complete style of the outfit. If I found something I really liked, colour, cut, design, fit and it was a bit booby,it wouldn't put me off.

I don't trawl though shops thinking oh I'll buy this because a man might like it. I'm far too selfish for that. I buy what I like, what makes me comfortable. I wear. Lot of high heels because I like being taller, I like how they make me stand straighter and improve my posture, they're more comfortable than being flat on my feet. I wear makeup and take care of myself because I enjoy the application and different looks, i love trying out new products, new looks, I like dramatic makeup, I love accentuating my eyes. As if I spend a fortune on makeup to try impress a man who couldn't tell the difference between Ruby woo and Russian red? Oh please.

Bit of a leap. Nobody said anything about anyone being able to tell the difference in lipstick colours.
I don't know why there is such a hang-up about saying women dress to look attractive to the opposite sex - I sure as hell do! I don't care what's "in fashion" (I think obsessing with that nonsense is much worse than dressing to look attractive) and I'd never wear something that made me feel too cold or caused me pain - I just wear what I like and what suits me, but I still wear it to look good.

Of course lots of teen girls are dressing so ludicrously to look sexy (and because their friends are doing it) - they're not just drawing the eye of auld leery fellas, they're drawing the eye of boys their age, which is what they want. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that - it's highly natural and normal, but they don't need to go to such extremes with trashy, uncomfortable clothing that makes them look tacky, and which gives out the wrong idea (even if it's not fair for people to get that idea about them, they do).

Teenage Disco bans inappropriate outfits

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