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How come Tinder is so difficult?

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Comments

  • #302
    quinnd6
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,559 ✭✭✭quinnd6


    Tinder and Online dating are shallow garbage.
    I think I tried Tinder for a week because I was bored and got nowhere and gave up.
    I tried online dating for years and got nowhere and gave up.
    I've given up looking online and offline.
    I've zero faith in women in Ireland.
    I don't care anymore.
    I'm staying single.
    I don't have a choice but I don't give a flying fig anymore I'm finished with it.


  • #303
    Jimmy Garlic
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,331 ✭✭✭Jimmy Garlic


    quinnd6 wrote: »
    Tinder and Online dating are shallow garbage.
    I think I tried Tinder for a week because I was bored and got nowhere and gave up.
    I tried online dating for years and got nowhere and gave up.
    I've given up looking online and offline.
    I've zero faith in women in Ireland.
    I don't care anymore.
    I'm staying single.
    I don't have a choice but I don't give a flying fig anymore I'm finished with it.

    When you are not looking someone often comes along, in the real world that is.


  • #304
    mojesius
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,396 ✭✭✭mojesius


    My advice as a woman - Get off tinder. Spend your free time doing the things that you love doing as an individual. The rest will follow. Good luck to you


  • #305
    Jimmy Garlic
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,331 ✭✭✭Jimmy Garlic


    zulutango wrote: »
    Girls who wear make up are a turn off to me. I know that rules out a lot of girls but I've been lucky enough to meet some great ones who aren't into make up so will hold out for them.

    I wouldn't say no makeup. Subtle is good.. Bit of lip gloss and the like.. Way too many out there that end up looking like a cross between Bozo the clown and David Dickenson. Not a good look.


  • #306
    tomwaterford
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,768 ✭✭✭✭tomwaterford


    Eric Cartman wrote: »
    ohh 100% , I think under 30 its mostly aesthetics or to improve at a sport you compete in , over that its a health / life preservation / doctor telling you to get fit thing.

    What's wrong with doing it if you enjoy it/want to look good aswell???

    So long as it's not all you've got going on in your life like??


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  • #307
    Dr Crayfish
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,960 ✭✭✭Dr Crayfish


    mojesius wrote: »
    My advice as a woman - Get off tinder. Spend your free time doing the things that you love doing as an individual. The rest will follow. Good luck to you

    I would tend to agree apart from the fact that outside of work and the daily grind, a lot of people don't have any things they love doing that involves socialising. I really enjoy my routine of cycling, work, gym, one or two hobbies, holidays etc and having a few drinks with my friends at the weekend, but it doesn't naturally lead to be knee deep in clunge either! Not that I'm looking for anyone I'm just making a case for folk similar to me.


  • #308
    bucketybuck
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,094 ✭✭✭✭bucketybuck


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    since human civilisation began when people discovered fire, never mind tinder!

    Surely they discovered tinder first? ;)


  • #309
    blacklilly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,687 ✭✭✭blacklilly


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    Look at some of the posts on this thread from those who are practically obsessed with tinder (and before then there was POF, before then smooch, before then bebo, etc, etc), and you really have to ask yourself are the use of these new media actually creating the problem, or just facilitating a problem that's always been a part of human nature? I would say myself they're simply facilitating a small minority of people who really shouldn't take these apps so seriously to the point that it begins to affect their mental health tbh.

    I agree with you on the above in that it seems to be facilitating an issue that naturally occurs but unfortunately I believe it to be something more than a minority.
    I've just turned 30 so unlike many of the 20 odd years olds on these apps, I've known and preferred the old dating scene. Whereas many of these people will know little different to what they're currently experiencing.


  • #310
    Eric Cartman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,247 ✭✭✭✭Eric Cartman


    punk_one82 wrote: »
    Fair enough, maybe someone would start going to a gym in a relationship if they feel they want to lose some weight rather than be toned. Still an issue? Fact of the matter is people can be unhappy with certain aspects of themselves and a gym is a healthy solution to some of those problems, leading to high self-esteem and more confidence...and you'd be unhappy with a partner going to one, just because you don't think anyone should need to do that to themselves?

    It's great for you that you can seemingly be oozing confidence without having to do a single thing to make you feel happier about your appearance. An awful lot of people put some sort of effort into making themselves look better be it with the clothes they buy, the hairstyles they have or the makeup they wear in order to give them a bit of a confidence boost.

    I think theres a lot of people who are mis understanding where im coming from , Im not looking down on gym goers or saying its the wrong / a bad thing to do , if you derive happiness from it then go ahead by all means.

    But what Im looking for in a partner is somebody so un-concerned with the aesthetic that a change in weight or a blemish or makeup or being toned would have absolutely 0 impact on their confidence and they put no value in the 'improvement' :rolleyes: that these things give. Somebody who is truly just happy in themselves, whether that be a size 10 or 18 , clear skin or acne'd to bits, pale white or dark brown , just somebody who has embraced the hand the world dealt them and feels no need to change their appearance for them, the opposite sex or anybody else.

    I don't think theres anything wrong with that.


  • #311
    zulutango
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,887 ✭✭✭zulutango


    punk_one82 wrote:
    You're not one for generalisations are you?

    Why else would somebody wear make-up? They're hardly trying to make themselves look worse!


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  • #312
    punk_one82
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,148 ✭✭✭punk_one82


    zulutango wrote: »
    Why else would somebody wear make-up? They're hardly trying to make themselves look worse!

    You said they're not confident in their own skin if they wear make up. That's a serious generalisation and doesn't equate to wanting to look better.


  • #313
    zulutango
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,887 ✭✭✭zulutango


    punk_one82 wrote: »
    You said they're not confident in their own skin if they wear make up. That's a serious generalisation and doesn't equate to wanting to look better.

    So, you're saying they can be confident in their own skin but also think they don't look good enough. It seems like a bit of a logical twist to be honest.


  • #314
    Lux23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,134 ✭✭✭Lux23


    I remember getting messages from men on POF saying things like you have a real natural beauty. I had it said to me out as well on occasion. I wear make up pretty much everyday. The lesson I learned from that is the vast majority of men are pretty clueless when it comes to make up and a lot of the time they are just put off by women who are clueless at applying it. So I take these comments about make up with a pinch of salt.


  • #315
    punk_one82
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,148 ✭✭✭punk_one82


    zulutango wrote: »
    So, you're saying they can be confident in their own skin but also think they don't look good enough. It seems like a bit of a logical twist to be honest.

    There are many reasons women might want to wear makeup. What you've pointed out is one of them, not the only one.


  • #316
    Lux23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,134 ✭✭✭Lux23


    quinnd6 wrote: »
    Tinder and Online dating are shallow garbage.
    I think I tried Tinder for a week because I was bored and got nowhere and gave up.
    I tried online dating for years and got nowhere and gave up.
    I've given up looking online and offline.
    I've zero faith in women in Ireland.
    I don't care anymore.
    I'm staying single.
    I don't have a choice but I don't give a flying fig anymore I'm finished with it.

    I did something similar when I was 30 when I decided I would just use online dating and going out on the pull as a distraction or hobby. I was in the relationship I am in now within three months. And that seems to be a common enough occurrence.


  • #317
    Triceratops Ballet
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,894 ✭✭✭Triceratops Ballet


    zulutango wrote: »
    So, you're saying they can be confident in their own skin but also think they don't look good enough. It seems like a bit of a logical twist to be honest.

    Some people actually enjoy makeup, it seems weird to me, but they enjoy it like a hobby, trying out new products, trying different techniques and perfecting them, different colour combinations, some people look on it as an creative extension of fashion and it's not really about insecurity for them, it's about expression.
    Granted there are a lot of people who cake it on out of insecurity, I have friends I've NEVER seen without makeup for that reason which makes me sad for them. But that's not the reason for everybody.


  • #318
    zulutango
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,887 ✭✭✭zulutango


    punk_one82 wrote: »
    There are many reasons women might want to wear makeup. What you've pointed out is one of them, not the only one.

    Can you list a few of the other reasons?


  • #319
    punk_one82
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,148 ✭✭✭punk_one82


    zulutango wrote: »
    Can you list a few of the other reasons?

    No, I encourage you to use some common sense and figure them out for yourself.

    dottie_lottie has helped you get started.


  • #320
    zulutango
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,887 ✭✭✭zulutango


    dottie_lottie wrote: »
    Some people actually enjoy makeup, it seems weird to me, but they enjoy it like a hobby, trying out new products, trying different techniques and perfecting them, different colour combinations, some people look on it as an creative extension of fashion and it's not really about insecurity for them, it's about expression.
    Granted there are a lot of people who cake it on out of insecurity, I have friends I've NEVER seen without makeup for that reason which makes me sad for them. But that's not the reason for everybody.

    ok, that's fair enough if it is about expression and not insecurity. I wonder how much is the former and how much the latter though.


  • #321
    zulutango
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,887 ✭✭✭zulutango


    punk_one82 wrote: »
    No, I encourage you to use some common sense and figure them out for yourself.

    dottie_lottie has helped you get started.

    So, it's about expression, right!

    What other reasons? Go on ...


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  • #322
    Kal El
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 613 ✭✭✭Kal El


    Eric Cartman wrote: »
    Some would say, personally I just take myself out of it. I have absolutely 0 long term interest in a girl with a gym membership, one who wears makeup to anything except weddings/fancy outings (ideally id like a complete non makeup wearer, but thats not going to happen) or has to keep up with fashion trends. Im not arsed with any of that aesthetic crap so wouldn't want a partner to be either.

    It wouldnt bother me at all if a girl had a gym membership, I know the girls/guys youre talking about btw. I generally have little to do with them douchebag people. I think you will find that girls wear make up a lot more than you think, but I would be in the same bag as you on that one, Id just re-word it into girl who doesnt plaster on makeup :pac: . I married a foreign girl as I never met a Irish who filled the criteria :pac:
    ps nothing against Irish girls, coincidence purely


  • #323
    Kal El
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 613 ✭✭✭Kal El


    Eric Cartman wrote: »
    a little mascara I probably wouldn't mind, but somebody who needs a full face of crap just to leave the house just isn't for me. Ive known a few women in my life who can just get out of bed on a saturday , have a shower , put on a tshirt and jeans and go down the pub, not waiting round for an hour for a princess to get ready.

    the gym thing deals with a range of issues,
    1) low self esteem - I'm just done with this, I'm completely done with women who dislike themselves / their bodies , its just annoying and leads to headaches for me.

    2) Talking about the gym - I can think of nothing more boring to talk about than the gym / working out / how many calories/miles/lifts whatever they did.

    3) Serial Dieters / Calorie Counters / Girls who insist on diet coke or only eat half a meal or call themselves fat or have their mood dictated by the number on a scales, I am not here on this earth to be the victim who has to listen to / deal with that.

    I think youve met really extreme gym girls


  • #324
    Kal El
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 613 ✭✭✭Kal El


    Dr Crayfish wrote: »
    I would tend to agree apart from the fact that outside of work and the daily grind, a lot of people don't have any things they love doing that involves socialising. I really enjoy my routine of cycling, work, gym, one or two hobbies, holidays etc and having a few drinks with my friends at the weekend, but it doesn't naturally lead to be knee deep in clunge either! Not that I'm looking for anyone I'm just making a case for folk similar to me.

    Agree with this 100%, there is nothing wrong with using tinder/online dating in addition to doing hobbies etc


  • #325
    Kal El
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 613 ✭✭✭Kal El


    Lux23 wrote: »
    I remember getting messages from men on POF saying things like you have a real natural beauty. I had it said to me out as well on occasion. I wear make up pretty much everyday. The lesson I learned from that is the vast majority of men are pretty clueless when it comes to make up and a lot of the time they are just put off by women who are clueless at applying it. So I take these comments about make up with a pinch of salt.

    I hear it said all the time, its like these guys never had a sister. Id presume anyone with one realises girls wear make up everywhere.


  • #326
    The Talking Bread
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,037 ✭✭✭✭The Talking Bread


    Kal El wrote: »
    It wouldnt bother me at all if a girl had a gym membership, I know the girls/guys youre talking about btw. I generally have little to do with them douchebag people. I think you will find that girls wear make up a lot more than you think, but I would be in the same bag as you on that one, Id just re-word it into girl who doesnt plaster on makeup :pac: . I married a foreign girl as I never met a Irish who filled the criteria :pac:
    ps nothing against Irish girls, coincidence purely

    Are you divorced/separated now? Because you were saying yesterday you were using tinder to invite girls over for sex in your house!


  • #327
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    It's strange but when I saw it mentioned and think about it I am also disinterested in girls who say they go to the gym.. for some reason I associate it with boring, vacuous people, possibly because of tv shows or something :D In my subconscious interesting girls do hiking or climbing or similar hobbies


  • #328
    LLMMLL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,593 ✭✭✭LLMMLL


    zulutango wrote: »
    So, you're saying they can be confident in their own skin but also think they don't look good enough. It seems like a bit of a logical twist to be honest.

    There's no real contradiction. A person can be aware of a flaw and confident regardless. Some flaws can be corrected. A confident person can then correct that flaw and still be confident.

    Not that not wearing make up is a flaw but I do think were so used to seeing women with makeup that a completely bare female face looks odd unfortunately.


  • #329
    The_Captain
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,373 ✭✭✭The_Captain


    I suppose I associate people who are anti-gym with disgusting food, health problems and laziness, but I can see why guys wouldn't want to be with a girl who makes them feel inadequate.


  • #330
    blacklilly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,687 ✭✭✭blacklilly


    riffmongous wrote: »
    It's strange but when I saw it mentioned and think about it I am also disinterested in girls who say they go to the gym.. for some reason I associate it with boring, vacuous people, possibly because of tv shows or something :D In my subconscious interesting girls do hiking or climbing or similar hobbies

    I'm the same, I can be disinterested in someone who is too much into the gym. I go myself but not to any extreme level. I'm definitely more interested in people who are into the outdoors, it's more sociable and interesting IMO.


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  • #331
    Rakish Paddy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 758 ✭✭✭Rakish Paddy


    riffmongous wrote: »
    It's strange but when I saw it mentioned and think about it I am also disinterested in girls who say they go to the gym.. for some reason I associate it with boring, vacuous people, possibly because of tv shows or something :D

    I have that reaction to any girl who, when asked if she has any hobbies, responds with "Shopping". Shudder.


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