Advice Needed - May Be Going to Prison

Tackle

Vangelis wrote:

I just wanted to say that there is no shame in having violated a law. If there was no law, you'd have nothing to be ashamed of, whatever you did. And neither do you now.

Of course there's shame in having violated a law. If you assault someone or steal, etc.. you should feel ashamed. If you don't feel ashamed you're a scumbag.

You have my sympathy OP, you do sound like a decent person.

dublinshane

Vangelis – you have been very kind in your comments but I have no doubt that I feel ashamed of what I’ve done – but thanks for your encouragement.

Lomb – my solicitor told me that 6,000 people are sentenced to prison each year in Ireland – more go in on remand etc. That must mean that 99% of the people going to jail aren’t murderers. This means that more than 100 people go to jail each week. It can’t be as rare as you think.

Luckat – your post really struck me with your descriptions of what it could be like inside. You make it so clear that you really are no longer your own person and have to depend on others and behave yourself to get pretty much anything. In some ways it sounds like being a kid again only you have guards to deal with instead of your parents.

Some people might say that it is too easy in jail but I don’t know how they can say that. What you said about getting a job afterwards worries me but I had been told that.

Sparky

dublinshane, you do strike me also as a decent person, and i feel that prision is there to make you learn from your mistakes, by punishing you by taking all your normal privilages away from you.
but from your posts if i was a judge, id say you have all ready learned your lesson, you have put in so much thought in to what you have done etc etc.

there are other decent people in prison, like those 5 lads from mayo, over that gas line.

So the best of good luck, and take care.

4Xcut

imho unless you've commited a violent crime(which i highly doubt you have) then you have nothing to be ashamed of. i know you said that you did something stupid and are ashamed of it and it takes one hell of a set to admit that. hope all works out for you. in all honesty if you and your girlfriend are really serious then she should wait.

ctrl-alt-delete

dublinshane wrote:

There are loads of questions going through my mind like:


Can you go to prison yourself are you always taken directly from court?

, im pretty sure you can go yourself, in fact ive heard in some cases you can actually make the decisions in court aswell - im not sure about this though

chump

4Xcut wrote:

imho unless you've commited a violent crime(which i highly doubt you have) then you have nothing to be ashamed of.

He could well have commited a violent crime while drunk...

Shure I know of a few seemingly decent sorts who got time for smashing a bottle over some1's head while drunk...

dublinshane

I can't really go into the details of the situation but people do change with drink and sometimes things get out of hand and people can get hurt. And blame isn't always one way.

Ctrl-Alt-Delete - I was thinking of either Liam Lawlor or Ray Burke who got to stay out for Christmas and then went to jail. Just would make things easier if that could happen but didn't really expect it to be an option....

ctrl-alt-delete

sorry dublinshane - i couldnt resist...

anyways in line with what other people are saying, for someone who may be going to prison, you come across as a really "unprison type" person, from your first post its clear to see that your are afraid - and i hope you can put this to your benefit in the future. making a mistake is human, just never make the same mistake twice.

in terms of if you find yourself in prison, like others said - make the best of it, make it productive, write a book, do something - it will pass the time if anything. also a bit of advice "its alright to lose your heart, but never lose your head" keep a strong showing on the outside regardless of how your fear and unease may develop in there.

the most important thing is the future, dont waste the time you cant get back, mke something of your life and dont find yourself in this situation again,

good luck.

dublinshane

I'm definitely not the prison type but I'm sure that's what the guys involved with the Brian Murphy attack thought too. I've had time to think about how I ended up in this situation over the past few weeks and if I manage to get away without going to jail I'll be the most grateful guy around. I've learned my lesson big time and hope the judge will take that into account.

chump

Have you packed your bags yet?

Firetrap

I hope things work out for you. You seem like a decent person. What did you do anyway? (without going into specifics)..drink driving? assault? indecent exposure? handing stolen goods?

Sparky

chump wrote:

Have you packed your bags yet?

i dont think comments like that go well here, so watch it.

Vangelis

Okay, dublinshane. Forget what I said about not feeling shameful. Of course it's allright to feel ashamed at yourself. Just remember that we all do mistakes. We all have our own prison cells.

Best wishes to you!

unkel

dublinshane wrote:

I'm definitely not the prison type but I'm sure that's what the guys involved with the Brian Murphy attack thought too. I've had time to think about how I ended up in this situation over the past few weeks and if I manage to get away without going to jail I'll be the most grateful guy around. I've learned my lesson big time and hope the judge will take that into account.

I sure hope you won't have to go to prison based on what you've posted here. I'm disappointed in you (but obviously not as disappointed as you are in yourself) that you didn't listen to your wake-up call last year

I feel it is very important to let the judge know:

- the full extent of your shame and remorse

- the time you have spent reflecting on what you did and why you should not have done it

- the sincere promise that you will never ever get into a situation like that again

- if you hurt someone or caused damage, you will provide compensation to the very best of your abilities

If you bring that message across, chances are you won't have to do time

Best of luck with your case

tbh

Shane, if the crime was caused by drink, you have to resolve to never drink again.


Caimin

dublinshane

As it stands I'm charged with assault causing harm and criminal damage and yes drink did play a big part in it.

ionapaul

unkel wrote:

I sure hope you won't have to go to prison based on what you've posted here. I'm disappointed in you (but obviously not as disappointed as you are in yourself) that you didn't listen to your wake-up call last year

I feel it is very important to let the judge know:

- the full extent of your shame and remorse

- the time you have spent reflecting on what you did and why you should not have done it

- the sincere promise that you will never ever get into a situation like that again

- if you hurt someone or caused damage, you will provide compensation to the very best of your abilities

If you bring that message across, chances are you won't have to do time

Best of luck with your case

Hmm, not to rain on anyone's parade, but if a person commits a crime, is warned in court about any future incidents, and goes out and commits another crime, I don't feel it in any way appropriate that the judge takes into account any amount of contrition and regret shown [bold]for his second offence[/bold]. He was warned, he ignored the warning, frankly, if it wasn't a boardster and instead was an individual being written up in the papers, we wouldn't feel the same amount of compassion for them. It is right and proper to feel ashamed for breaking the law after being warned in court and it is right and proper to accept having to pay for and face responsibility for your actions. That is our system, right?

Dublinshane, I hope you get through it all ok and if you are indeed guilty you take something positive away from it all.

tbh

I have to say, I think you make a fair point, Ionapaul. I had been trying to avoid finding out what Shane had done, because I think, for the purposes of this specific thread, it is irrelevant. Separating the sinner from the sin, if you'll forgive a religious analogy. However decent and apologetic I think Shane is, I'm pretty sure that if I read the report in the paper I would have thought "lock him up and throw away the key". I'm sorry Shane, I've already told you that I respect the way you are handling yourself, and I stand over that. But I'll also repeat what I said in my last post - if this is the second time you've done this, then IMO, if you ever drink again, you are not really sorry for what you have done. I personally think that the price you have to pay to get over this is to accept that the possibility - however small - that this could ever happen again, rules out you ever drinking again. I'm not trying to preach, just say how I see it.

You said:
"And blame isn't always one way."

I'm sure you'd be the first to agree, that's no argument. You've held your hands up, stick to that - doesn't matter what someone else done, you are responsible for your actions.

I don't mean to put you down, having corresponded with you, I have a feeling that you might feel the same (or would, if it were someone else).

Do I think you are truly sorry? Yes.
Do I think if you had been sober that you wouldn't have done it? Yes.
Do I think that if you hadn't been wound up, you wouldn't have done it? Yes.

Do I think that, if those three circumstances arose again, you could be trusted not take the same actions? No.

I know I know nothing about your situation really, but all the above is based on what I do know - and I do sincerly hope that this works out for you, and for all concerned.




take care,
Caimin

Khannie

You sound like a decent chap overall. I hope all goes well for you.

On the smokes front: Grab yourself a copy of Allen Carr's "easy way to stop smoking" or "only way to stop smoking permanently". I haven't smoked in 18 months. Never looked back. Never felt better. If the worst does happen, you'll defo feel better not going in relying on cigs.

Did you know the person involved? Might be an idea to try and make your peace with them before the court date. I'd also suggest leaving the drink behind. Sounds like it's a negative influence on your life.

HelterSkelter

When will you find out? Have you been convicted already? Are you awaiting sentancing?

Best of luck, hope everthing works out for you. Anyone can make a mistake or two.

dudara

chump wrote:

Have you packed your bags yet?

Indeed they don't. you should have more cop on, Chump

Vangelis

Everybody makes mistakes, dublinshane.
Now don't say too much on this forum.
Remember it is your business.

Sleepy

DublinShane, it would do you no harm personally (or in the context of your upcoming case ), to attend some AA meetings. Drink obviously doesn't suit you it can land you into this kinda trouble and the judge would probably look quite favourably on an attempt to remove the catalyst that's landed you in this situation.

IonaPaul makes a good point (as always) but you do seem to realise how wrong your actions were. Our emotions can be a fuel of sorts so use the guilt you're feeling in a positive light, try to make things right with whomever you assaulted and tackle your drinking problem. And don't try to claim you don't have a problem with drink, if you'd attack someone badly enough to be in court for it while drunk in a manner you wouldn't have done sober you have a problem with drink.

Chucky the tree

I am not going to be as nice as everyone else.


Personnaly i hope you do end up in prision, fingers crossed you will learn your lesson then. Unlikely though, next time on the drink you will probaly do the same thing.

Anyone who cant handle there drink and does something stupid and blames the drink is a pathetic individual. This is the problem with society today, people never face up to there actions, always come out with some **** excuse.

Odds are the judge will go easy on you, hopefully he wont and you will be punished fairly for the crime's you have committed.If you cant handle you drink you shouldnt be drinking.

luckat

By the way, can anyone recommend any good anger management courses?

(Mind you, a small but significant percentage of those posting on boards could improve their lives by taking one...)

DublinShane's in enough trouble without helpful comments; if he's convicted of this, bang go any chances of getting a work visa for the US, for instance.

DublinShane, you're going to have to think seriously about what kind of work you want to do when you come out, or when this is over one way or another - what kind of life you want to live.

I'd strongly suggest signing up for an anger management course for a start, stopping drinking altogether (plenty of people don't drink) and generally sitting down with some people who have nous and knowledge and planning out a course for your next five years, your next 10 years, your next 15 years, your next 20 years.

When's the trial? Good luck with it - and with whatever follows.

dublinshane

I’ve read all the posts and while some are tough I can see why people feel that way. Before this I would have felt pretty similar. As far as drink is concerned I’m not a huge drinker normally but in this situation put with other circumstances it made me behave out of character. I’m not making any excuses but that’s the reality and I am dealing with the consequences. My other bit of trouble last year wasn’t drink related btw.

Not going to say anymore about the incident or the case – up in court next month and hoping for the best but getting prepared for the worst.

Originally on the post I asked if anybody had any experiences on what to expect in prison. Thanks for all the replies but I would still really appreciate hearing from someone who was there as a prisoner rather than working there or visiting. I know it's a long shot but if there is somebody who has been inside maybe you could PM me if you want to keep it private. Thanks.

Gandhi

Hi DublinShane,

I don't really have any advice for you that has not been mentioned already.

I just want to wish you good luck. Sounds like you are committed to making a better go of it from here on.

- Gandhi

PokerTony

Hi Shane
How will you be pleading, from your posts I suspect it will be guilty. If you're pleading guilty I think the district court judge will unlikely take the case based on the charges and the previous conviction and will send it to the circuit court for arraignment at a future date. When you make your plea (if guilty) a sentence date will be set. This will probably bring you well into the new year so it will give you time to prepare for the sentence.

Just a few tips for the day
-Make sure you wear a suit and tie, it sounds obvious enough but you'd be surprised how many people turn up in air max and a tracksuit. A suit will command more respect from the judge.
-Make sure you convey to the judge how sorry you are for your actions, this is extremely important.
-Bring along as many family and friends as you can so the judge can see your strong family ties.
-Make sure you are in full time employment at the time and if possible I would consider taking up an night course.
-Make restitution to the victim (only contact the victim through your solicitor).
-Show the judge how you have reformed since the incident by going to AA meetings, anger management etc.
-Get as many character witnesses as you can. Prinicpal, teachers, managers, priests etc.

If you have any questions you would like to ask me feel free to.

Best wishes to you. It will all be behind you someday.

LegacyUser

ionapaul wrote:

Hmm, not to rain on anyone's parade, but if a person commits a crime, is warned in court about any future incidents, and goes out and commits another crime, I don't feel it in any way appropriate that the judge takes into account any amount of contrition and regret shown [bold]for his second offence[/bold]. He was warned, he ignored the warning, frankly, if it wasn't a boardster and instead was an individual being written up in the papers, we wouldn't feel the same amount of compassion for them. It is right and proper to feel ashamed for breaking the law after being warned in court and it is right and proper to accept having to pay for and face responsibility for your actions. That is our system, right?

Dublinshane, I hope you get through it all ok and if you are indeed guilty you take something positive away from it all.

i have to agree, if i'm assalted, or one of my friends or family is assalted, i'd want justice.

seeing as it's your second offence, i'd be more dissapointed if you didn't get jail time.

Vangelis

paperclip wrote:

i have to agree, if i'm assalted, or one of my friends or family is assalted, i'd want justice.

seeing as it's your second offence, i'd be more dissapointed if you didn't get jail time.

What kind of comment is this? You're not supposed to fling out your prejudgements about this man's crime here! I'm sure this will insult him deeply and not make him feel any better. That was not the reason he posted this thread!