Guess which one?

steveland?

Oh... cos she'd see the guy again at the funeral...

If you ever read Mark Brandon Read (Chopper)'s books you'd know the IRA used to do stuff like that


Edit: Dammit I didn't see that last page!!!

monkeyfudge

Okay... Things are slowing dow a bit aren't they?

Here's a whole bunch of basic ones that I picked up earlier. I don't actually know any of the answers though.. ha

1.Why are girls afraid of the letter C ?
2.Why is the letter E so important?
3.Why are the letter G and letter S in "gloves" close to each other?
4.What letter is an animal ?
5.What letter is a question?
6.Why is U the jolliest letter?
7.How do you feel today?
8.How can you make a rope shorter without cutting or winding it?
9.Why do people wish for something they haven't got?
10.What can you tell from Peter's record card with extremely poor grades?
11.What does everybody do at the same time?
12.What resembles half a pie?
13.Who works only one day in a year but never gets fired?
14.When do people have two mouth?
15.Why do lions eat raw meat?
16.How many sides does a circle have?
17.What animal can jump as high as a tree?
18.How can you be completely sleepless for seven days and still lack no rest?
19.Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
20.If you throw a stone into the Red Sea, what will it become?
21.If two's company and three's crowd, what's four and five?
22.The farmers in this village used modern methods but harvested no apples this year ,why?
23.The injured dog had some difficulty going home. Every step he took, he slipped back two. However, he still managed to get home. How did he do it? If you throw a stone into the Red Sea, what will it become?
24.What falls often but never gts hurt?
25.How did the pick-pocket spot the plain-clothes cop in his woman's disguise?
26.Which month has 28 days?
27.What is it that everyone wants to have and get rid of too?
28.where did the egg floating down the Mississippi River come from?
29.Lucky Mouse fell off a 1000-step stair and was not hurt. why?
30.Why do giraffes have long neck?
31.How can you make 6 out of three 7's?
32.How can you make 6 out of three 5's?
33.how can you make 1000 out of eight 8's?
34.Can you name the captital of every state in the U.S. in ten seconds?
35.A police officer had a brother, but the brother had no brother. How could that be?
36.Why does a cat look first to one side and then to the other side when it enters a room?
37.How do you know policemen are strong ?
38.With which hand do you write?
39.What must you do before you return a book to the library?

mp3guy

the opposite to what i answer

steveland?

29.Lucky Mouse fell off a 1000-step stair and was not hurt. why?

cos it was off the bottom step

can't be bothered with the rest at this hours

Mr.Nice Guy

4.B

5.Y

34.S?

36.Insecurity issues?

I have one that I got from Aertel:

Police are called to an apartment after a gunshot is heard by neighbours.As the detectives and police enter the room they see a man hunched over a desk who has clearly had his head blown off.There is a gun in the man's hand and a tape beside him.When the tape is played a man is heard saying "Life is too hard!I don't want to live anymore!" then a gunshot is heard.The detective then declares aloud,"This man has been murdered!"
What makes the detective so sure?

steveland?

34.Can you name the captital of every state in the U.S. in ten seconds?


No...

steveland?

The tape was stopped just after the gunshot. Since he heard the gunshot he knew the shot had been fired while the man was killed so he couldn't have pressed stop?

Mr.Nice Guy

Nice job Steve D,you're absolutely right.Did you hear that one before?

monkeyfudge

monkeyfudge wrote:

39.What must you do before you return a book to the library?

You have to check it out first.

Blisterman

3.Why are the letter G and letter S in "gloves" close to each other?
Because there's love between them


7.How do you feel today?
With your nerves
8.How can you make a rope shorter without cutting or winding it?
Folding it?
9.Why do people wish for something they haven't got?
Because it wouldn't be a wish otherwise
10.What can you tell from Peter's record card with extremely poor grades?
Hes an idiot
11.What does everybody do at the same time?
Live
12.What resembles half a pie?
A pie cut in half
13.Who works only one day in a year but never gets fired?
Santa Claus

15.Why do lions eat raw meat?
Because they don't know how to cook
16.How many sides does a circle have?
one
17.What animal can jump as high as a tree?
Trees can't jump
18.How can you be completely sleepless for seven days and still lack no rest?
7 Non consecutive days
19.Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom
20.If you throw a stone into the Red Sea, what will it become?
It will stay a stone

22.The farmers in this village used modern methods but harvested no apples this year ,why?
They weren't apple farmers
23.The injured dog had some difficulty going home. Every step he took, he slipped back two. However, he still managed to get home. How did he do it?
He walked backwards
24.What falls often but never gts hurt?
Temperature
25.How did the pick-pocket spot the plain-clothes cop in his woman's disguise?
He tried to arrest him.
26.Which month has 28 days?
All of them

28.where did the egg floating down the Mississippi River come from?
A Chicken

30.Why do giraffes have long neck?
To hold their head

34.Can you name the captital of every state in the U.S. in ten seconds?
No
35.A police officer had a brother, but the brother had no brother. How could that be?
The police officer was a woman

steveland?

Mr.Nice Guy wrote:

Nice job Steve D,you're absolutely right.Did you hear that one before?

Actually no this is the first one i've figured out completely alone

Blisterman

So does anyone know the answers?

Sherifu

Cathy has six pairs of black gloves and six pairs of brown gloves in her drawer. In complete darkness, how many gloves must she take from the drawer in order to be sure to get a pair that match?

Cactus Col

Modified wrote:

Cathy has six pairs of black gloves and six pairs of brown gloves in her drawer. In complete darkness, how many gloves must she take from the drawer in order to be sure to get a pair that match?

3 gloves

monkeyfudge

Modified wrote:

Cathy has six pairs of black gloves and six pairs of brown gloves in her drawer. In complete darkness, how many gloves must she take from the drawer in order to be sure to get a pair that match?

Is it thirteen?

PH01

1.Why are girls afraid of the letter C ?
Because it makes fat fact!
2.Why is the letter E so important?
Because it's the beginning of everything!
3.Why are the letter G and letter S in "gloves" close to each other?
Because there is love between them!
4.What letter is an animal ?
It's the letter B!
5.What letter is a question?
It's the letter Y!
6.Why is U the jolliest letter?
Because it is shaped like a smile. Or, because it's in the midst of fun!
7.How do you feel today?
With my hands, of course!
8.How can you make a rope shorter without cutting or winding it?
Take a longer rope and compare with it!
9.Why do people wish for something they haven't got?
You cease to wish for it once you get it!
10.What can you tell from Peter's record card with extremely poor grades?
He didn't cheat!
11.What does everybody do at the same time?
Grow old!
12.What resembles half a pie?
The other half!
13.Who works only one day in a year but never gets fired?
Santa
14.When do people have two mouth?
When there's two of them
15.Why do lions eat raw meat?
They don't know how to cook
16.How many sides does a circle have?
Two. The inside and the outside!
17.What animal can jump as high as a tree?
All animals, for trees can't jump!
18.How can you be completely sleepless for seven days and still lack no rest?
Sleep at night!
19.Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom.
20.If you throw a stone into the Red Sea, what will it become?
WET
21.If two's company and three's crowd, what's four and five?
Nine!
22.The farmers in this village used modern methods but harvested no apples
this year ,why?
They planted perch trees!
23.The injured dog had some difficulty going home. Every step he took, he slipped back two. However, he still managed to get home. How did he do it? If you throw a stone into the Red Sea, what will it become?
He walked in the other direction!
24.What falls often but never gts hurt?
Snowflakes
25.How did the pick-pocket spot the plain-clothes cop in his woman's
disguise?
He passed by a cosmetics store without looking in the window!
26.Which month has 28 days?
Every month!
27.What is it that everyone wants to have and get rid of too?
One's appetite
28.where did the egg floating down the Mississippi River come from?
A Hen
29.Lucky Mouse fell off a 1000-step stair and was not hurt. why?
Fell off the bottom one
30.Why do giraffes have long neck?
Because their heads are far from their bodies
31.How can you make 6 out of three 7's?
7-7/7=6.
32.How can you make 6 out of three 5's?
5+5/5=6
33.how can you make 1000 out of eight 8's?
8+8+8+8+88+888=1000
34.Can you name the captital of every state in the U.S. in ten seconds?
Washington, D.C.
35.A police officer had a brother, but the brother had no brother. How could
that be?
The Police Officer is a girl
36.Why does a cat look first to one side and then to the other side when it enters a room?
Because it can't see both sides at once
37.How do you know policemen are strong ?
Because they can hold up traffic
38.With which hand do you write?
With a pen in the right hand
39.What must you do before you return a book to the library?
You must take a book out first

Sherifu

monkeyfudge wrote:

Is it thirteen?

Correct.

PH01

Modified wrote:

Cathy has six pairs of black gloves and six pairs of brown gloves in her drawer. In complete darkness, how many gloves must she take from the drawer in order to be sure to get a pair that match?

She might get lucky and get a pair with the correct colour after just two goes, but she's sure to have a pair with the correct coloue after 13 goes.

monkeyfudge

But were the gloves actually black or did she buy them in a laymen's shop and they were really very, very, very, very, very, very dark blue?

Sherifu

monkeyfudge wrote:

But were the gloves actually black or did she buy them in a laymen's shop and they were really very, very, very, very, very, very dark blue?

No she got them in Habit-hat so its ok.

Blisterman

Isn't it three?

Definitely should be three...

Sherifu

She could take out 6 left hand black and 6 left hand brown before taking out a right hand of either colour. :rolleyes:

Modified

Modified wrote:

She could take out 6 left hand black and 6 left hand brown before taking out a right hand of either colour. :rolleyes:

AHHH but it could've been those magic glove things that are ambidextrous!!!

Sherifu

Papa Smut wrote:

AHHH but it could've been those magic glove things that are ambidextrous!!!

:rolleyes:

Kingp35

here is one for ye's. tis rubbish but see if ya can get it

Two bodies have I, though both joined in one; the longer I stand the quicker I run.

What am I?