New housemate, toilet door issue

suvigirl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121721002#Comment_121721002

you waited for him to leave before doing those things.

Why didn't you do it when he was home?

This is it

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121721002#Comment_121721002

It's absolutely unreasonable, two wrongs don't make a right. You had ample time to ask for your stuff back and give him a chair. I'm sure you met him on the landing often enough when he was closing the bathroom door.

Former Former Former

I can’t believe this thread is genuine but if it is, the OP has absolutely no business renting out a room

lawred2

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121715326#Comment_121715326

That bathroom can't be up to any standards whatsoever

Fiona

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121722012#Comment_121722012

It obviously met the standards when the property was built back in approx 1998.

Bathroom is in centre of the house.

chrisd2019

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121718284#Comment_121718284

I think you need to review how you select the people you rent the room to. also you need to set clear rules in writing in advance.

That said as the renters are paying you, they have an expectation of certain freedoms in their room.

PS i must confess to being intrigued by the toilet door issue!

Fiona

Myself and my husband have finally gotten to have a chat with this gentleman.

We explained that we had asked that no food be prepared in the bedroom when he came to view the house and that we were disappointed that he was preparing food in the bedroom as it's unhygienic.

He brought us into the bedroom to show us what he was doing and what I didn't see in the corner (when I poked my head in through the door) is that he has a lot of eggshells ETC in the bin along with vegetable choppings, there was a lot of standing water on the floor from a bowl with water in it on top of a soggy towel.

He said that he prefers to eat in private and that he doesn't want to be disturbing anybody. I said I appreciated where he was coming from but that this was going to be a problem and that I think he may be better suited to accommodation where he can live on his own and have full use of all the amenities in private as we are used to having people who make dinner and chat to us at the same time as its a shared area.

We have both agreed that he is going to move out and I said that if he moves out within the week I will not charge him single penny and that he will have full return of his security deposit.

Anything after a week we will work on a day rate basis but I will set a deadline for the end of the month but he absolutely is not to prepare any more food in the bedroom in the meantime. I didn't have the heart too ask him why he keeps closing the bathroom door after all of us even when we just go to take something out of the press, the man has suffered enough because you know...... I'm worst person in the world.

I'll definitely be changing the house rules / tenancy agreement to reflect this experience!

Thank you everybody for your input.

#toiletdoorslivesmatter

YellowLead

Well fair play for not charging him. I agree I wouldn’t like somebody preparing food in their room. The toilet door was a non issue.

You called him a new housemate in your title rather than a tenant / lodger - are you subletting to him?

Fiona

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121722336#Comment_121722336

We own the house so he's probably a lodger then??

I just don't think it would be very nice too charge somebody if they need to find accommodation in such a short space of time.

He definitely could have been more honest and upfront but look what's the point in trying to argue over it.

This is it

He's probably happy enough, wouldn't want someone "peaking" into his room and thinking it was ok.

herbalplants

Good on you. He sounds like a disaster and you probably dodge a bullet there. Cooking and eating in his bedroom is definitely an issue.

chrisd2019

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121722378#Comment_121722378

Well lets see if he moves out or not within the week.

Leg End Reject

I love how the previous problem tenant was initially talking to his girlfriend on speaker and turning the TV up too loud, but this then changed to self-harming in his room while fighting with the girlfriend on speakerphone. 🤣

Fiona

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121723931#Comment_121723931

Well that's what happened.

You can believe it or not I don't really care but I know what happened because I saw and heard with my own eyes and ears.

What I will say though is that it is amazing how the wrong woman's influence can make a man have a rapid downfall, males being subjected verbal/mental abuse from females is very real and it's not nice or amusing to have to listen too, it's upsetting.

So laugh away.

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121724202#Comment_121724202

Why didn't you mention that in your post about the lodger?

It's quite a leap from talking on speakerphone and loud TV to arguing on speakerphone and self-harming.

It was pointed out before but you keep adding details and changing the context. If you were so worried about this man why did you kick him out?

Fiona

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121724218#Comment_121724218

Self harming did not start until early 2023.

I engaged with his foster family and they agreed to take him back because I wasn't happy with him being in the house doing that to himself.

I have every right to protect myself in my own home especially when my stepdaughters are staying here at the weekends it's their home too and I need to think about them as well.

Our last one was a dream, got on well with everybody, clean, tidy, cooked with us, really integrated with our family and even spent all Christmas with us.

We are not bad people we just need to find the right person to share our home with us so onwards and upwards.

Mrs OBumble

You have step daughters staying sometimes, any yet you are taking males lodgers?

Cop on.

I can see why the last one stated in his room, he was probably petrified about false claims being made.

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121724291#Comment_121724291

So there's a foster family now? Why was he renting a room if he had a foster home?

Fiona

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121724864#Comment_121724864

No I won't cop on and don't forget you were infringed the last time for these exact comments on my previous post so just stop!

My stepdaughters are never left alone in our house not that that is any of your business.

And there are no false claims made about anybody so you just run along now with your own false posts!

Fiona

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121724867#Comment_121724867

He moved from foster home (lived there approx 15 years) to girlfriends house to my house.

Mrs OBumble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121725163#Comment_121725163

I will not be silent about the potential for child sexual abuse. Sorry if that offends you.

Fiona

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121725407#Comment_121725407

Just stop now there is absolutely no risk of them being sexually abused by anybody when we are in the house at all times with them.

If that's the case then me and their father shouldn't be around them because we could potentially abuse them as well!

With your logic everybody has the potential to be an abuser and nobody should be around anybody.

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121725407#Comment_121725407

...jesus this escalated, is the lodger some serious sex offender or something, or has boards just gone extra weird!

Fiona

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121725493#Comment_121725493

This lady started the exact same argument on my previous post, I've just reported the comment because I'm not dealing with ridiculous nonsense like this.

How many children are abused in their own home by family members her logic is just stupid!

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121725514#Comment_121725514

...so boards has just gone extra stupid and extra weird, just ignore....

L1011

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121725407#Comment_121725407

Infraction point issued - do not post on this thread again

Do not bring the same accusations/implications up on any other thread.

XsApollo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121725407#Comment_121725407

While I think the thread is nuts already, you have just taken it another level, potential child abuse ffs,

get a grip .

RichardAnd

Five pages in on a thread that was started to discuss a haunted toilet...

left_hander

OP good to hear you got rid of him. Somebody preparing food in their room sounds like a nightmare! That would bother me way more than the bathroom door.

I still think it is weird leaving the bathroom door open for smells to go through the house. I find that odd and disgusting to be honest! Get the fan upgraded, it won't cost you very much and the smells can stay and go where they belong.

But before you get another lodger I'd say meet your replacement for this guy and explain to them everything you expect of them before they move in. I wouldn't have thought you'd need to explain to somebody not to be preparing food in their room but it sounds like you do. But tell them all the other things you expect too - it'll save you another period of angst with them.

Best of luck!

Fiona

Final Update

You will be all glad to know that he is finally gone, and not without a bit of drama. When we chatted with him on Sunday I thought I could smell smoke off him but I let it pass. He said he was a non smoker and I had it in the house rules / agreement that smoking was prohibited in the house. I was hardly going to do a cotinine test on him before he moved in he had been out could have been with friends that smoked.

Husband thought he could smell smoke last night at about 2am when he was going to bed. I knocked on the door this morning at 10am and asked if I could inspect the room. He begrudgingly let me in and I walked up to the window and checked the window ledge and sure enough stubbing fags out on it. The room was filthy, all coffee stuff spilt down the radiator, the floor soaking again in the corner. Scraped the fresh coat of paint I got done on the one wall before he moved in early.

I typed up immediate eviction notice and handed it to him and he has left. I have also kept the deposit because he smoked in the room and broke the rules. He didn't even put up a fight he agreed that he smoked and he said ok keep the deposit, which I was NOT expecting to happen. I was waiting for a fight on it. I am a nice person, I know I said I would be kind and not charge but smoking is just urgh and I made that clear from the start, it was on the add, the house rules and the agreement that he signed. I am not going to allow my good nature be taken advantage of **** that ****!

The man has made more mess in the room in 5 days then two teenage girls in 3 years living here altogether!!! I dread this think what it would have been like any longer, I have had enough! Also dragged stuff all down the carpet with one of his suitcases so now have to get that cleaned too.

I am just happy he is gone now. Full blown interviews for the next person, agreements on expectations of both parties before deposits accepted, a lot learnt!