Dumping women before they hit 25?

notAMember

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119588602#Comment_119588602

What do you mean by her vote counting for less? Do you mean in decision making for their joint (maybe) lives?

Yes, that's most likely how is it, and why it repeatedly fails for him. As experience grows and she gains confidence in her own life and within the relationship, that dynamic probably frays because he will still see her as someone whose vote counts for less than his, even though it's not the case anymore. That's the imbalance in power that people talk about being common in this sort of relationship.

Sleepy

I was being facetious to make the point that either a 22 year old woman is a grown adult and as responsible for her own decisions as a 50 year old man is for his or she isn't.

I was using reductio ad absurdum to point out that if we are to decide that she isn't as responsible for her own decisions as he is, she isn't his equal and, as such, logically shouldn't be entitled to an equal say in matters of state. It's obviously a farcical suggestion but, tbh, so is the suggestion that there's anything inherently wrong about someone exclusively dating younger partners that are over the age of majority. It might make some feel uncomfortable but so what, there are people who are uncomfortable about people of the same gender dating, or people of different ethnicities and we've long since decided that their discomfort at such things doesn't give them any right to try and prohibit them...

notAMember

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119589046#Comment_119589046

Just a straw man so. You're refuting the women weren't responsible for their own decisions. But who ever claimed that? For all we know the breakups were initiated by the women themselves, either directly or indirectly.

Bamboozling someone and expecting favours in return when you're more experienced, wealthier, more beautiful, higher ranked, famous, yadda yadda is nothing to do with whether the other party is over or under the magical line of 18. It's just another easy way to take advantage of someone, either knowingly, or unknowingly.

It's not prohibited, but taking advantage of people is rightly, frowned upon. It's being a dickhead to do that to someone.

Sleepy

Either men and women are equal, or they're not.

Either someone is an adult capable of making their own decisions, or they're not.

Claiming that these young women were taken advantage of or "bamboozled" into years long relationships with Di Caprio is claiming to know better than them when you're not in the possession of even the tiniest fraction of the knowledge that they have of their own life. You're infantilising them and denying them the agency to make their own romantic decisions based on... what exactly?

They're not in the press or on social media claiming he mis-treated them. I've never so much as seen a tweet indicating that the breakups were acrimonious. In fact the only actual scandal I can recall involving Di Caprio and a woman was the nut job who assaulted him with a broken bottle who claimed in court that she mistook him for a former boyfriend... Or are we going to victim blame him and assume he was somehow the guilty party in that incident too because "woman victim, man evil" ?🙄

Man Vs ManUre

I always thought DiCaprio was married to Pocahontas.

Wibbs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119588349#Comment_119588349

I'm not familiar with your relationship history, so this isn't a comment on you personally. (And I'm married to someone from another country myself, so I get what you're talking about on differences in experiences). But perhaps you've noticed this...

Isn't it odd that it rarely seems to be men trying to manage a relationship outside their native country in their non-native language with an older or similar age woman. Usually seems to be an immigrant, poorer, younger, woman, expected to manage the man's language in his local country.

While the oul lad with a 20 year old Thai bride from the backwoods looking for a better life is a stereotype for a reason, I've never personally met a setup like this. Of all the Irish men I've known in relationships with non Irish women, the vast majority have been with women from Europe so hardly looking for visas they don't require and within a few years of each other age wise and on the same levels in education and economic backgrounds. One of the exceptions is married to a younger woman from a first world nation in the Far East, but she was and remains wealthier than him. Better educated too. I actually know slightly more age gap relationships where both are Irish, and a couple where the woman is the older one.

As for the whole ageing thing. Of course men want to look their best and all that, but biology and gender culture is or can be in play too. In pretty much every society going back to the egg men with wealth and power had the pick of available women. It's a huge attractant in the dating/mating game, just as youth and fertility is in women, particularly in the extremes like rulers and the hyper rich like the DiCaprios of the world. It is what it is, at least on the levels in society these guys live in, and the women that hang around and want to get into it.

They're both selling what sells in that market. Youth in the younger women, wealth in the older men. Mick Jagger at 80 would not have a 35 year old on his arm if he were an accountant, or it would be significantly less likely. DiCaprio would have scant hope of being in a relationship with 25 year old if he was a plumber. And the more homely 25 year old woman wouldn't be on either's radar.

One theory goes that unless wealth is inherited(which wouldn't have been the case for most of human history) men require more work and time to accrue assets as an attractant so a) remain fertile for life and b) age is less of an issue compared to women whose attractant comes early and essentially without much effort.

But again these men and the younger women with them are at the extreme end of the relationship game. The vast majority of men and women look for and end up with partners roughly the same age, background and overall attractiveness. Those that don't in the general population are the outliers.

Though I have noticed a sorta trend among some women mates of mine when younger, not unlike AllForIt's experience.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119582501#Comment_119582501

A fair number of them, enough for me to notice anyway, had a relationship, sometimes more than one, with an "older man" when they were in their twenties(he age gap varied from under ten years difference to more like twenty years difference). Like a right of passage thing or something? Or maybe just because the older guys were more established, less "immature" than their male peers and funny enough more likely to listen to them and treat them as more equal partners in an "adult relationship" and this was a big draw at the time. Or it was simply a novelty. Hell, I've been the "older man" once or twice myself. Pretty much all of them ended up with guys their own age in the end.

That could be in play with the women in Leo's life too. He might be their "phase" just as much as the other way around. The difference being they grow out of it. I'd be willing to bet if you looked at his exes their next guy was their age or close to it. He rinses and repeats looking for the next one, until he does a Clooney and finds a more established and older woman, but still a good bit younger than him to settle down with. Or comes out as Gay.

laoisgem

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119588848#Comment_119588848

Fair play for doing the calculations but the topic is about dating women before the age of 25, not 21.

Madonna is dating a young fella - it's a ridiculous farce, he's a gold digger.

I feel the same about Leo's situation. Not going to pretend otherwise.

And young people, male or female, in their early 20s absolutely can be clueless eejits.

Bit of dishonesty on this thread, not to mention thinly veiled insults of women in their 30s and 40s. Plus ça change.

Kumejima

A lot of people talking about how unethical it is for Leo to date these girls due to the power imbalance. I agree. Women need to be protected from such predators. Why don't we institute laws that ban women from having relationships with men who have more status, power or money than them? I'm sure the vast majority of women should be all for that right?

#stopexploitationofwomen

AyeGer

I wouldn't be interested in constantly changing girlfriends once they turned 25, i wouldn't have a hope of it anyway. I don't know what's going on with Leo does he never fall in love with any of these women?

Seathrun66

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119560624#Comment_119560624

His wife, Sam Taylor-Wood, was much more famous than him when they got together. She was a renowned visual artist before moving into film with the John Lennon biopic Nowhere Boy, Fifty Shades of Grey, A Million Little Pieces and others. Don't be so dismissive of her.

Demi Moore (15 years older than Aston Kutcher), Madonna (41 years older than current beau Andrew Darnell), Sharon Stone (38 years older than rapper RMR), Lisa Bonet (12 years older than husband Jason Momoa) and Robin Wright (15 years older than husband Clement Giraudet) are just some examples of older women with younger guys. There are plenty of others and it takes little effort to find them.

And what do men think of this? Fair on the women. Their choice on who they want to date and none of our business. If only women displayed the same tolerance towards other women.

gmisk

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119601550#Comment_119601550

Maybe read what I said.

"Any example at all of an older female celebrity who only dates men under 25"

Key word being only.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119601502#Comment_119601502

“Love” is an abstract concept and therefore many people will not be able to relate to it. They can either pretend and play the expected role or don’t, just to be judged. I think it’d be nice if people understood that not everyone is like them. This isn’t aimed at you by the way.

kowloon

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119601670#Comment_119601670

What is love?

Seathrun66

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119601609#Comment_119601609

First example you gave was Sam Taylor-Wood. The very definition of ‘only’.

And when has Madonna last dated a guy who’s passed a quarter of a century?

Grace Jones another, but she doesn’t confine herself to men.

I avoid infantile judgementalisn and don’t care what consenting adults choose to do. What possible point is there in trawling through gossip columns to berate celebs? What possible point?

gmisk

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119601842#Comment_119601842

The very definition of "only"?!

She was married to someone before who was 4 years older than her....do you know what the word "only" means?

ILoveYourVibes

I think what is obviously happening is that he doesn't want to hit milestones in his life. Or what might be milestones for others.

25 is when you think about things like career long term plans ..commitment relationships before then are just for fun.

ILoveYourVibes

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119558616#Comment_119558616

You don't believe them when they tell you they are assholes right? That say that to make themselves feel better about the fact the guy/girl is obviously being used by them for money. Its the oldest trick in the book. They don't treat them badly to make other men/women feel the need to 'save them' so they can use them too.

And this goes bother genders.

Think amber heard.

CPTM

Is it not just evolution. The only genes and mindsets to survive down through the ages, through famines, war, droughts etc were women who fancied popular and secure men, and men who fancied young attractive women. There were probably women who fancied poor losers and men who fancied 70 year old women but those mindsets and genetics just didn't get to survive to the next generation as much as the mindsets we see today. If women reproduced in their 70s, a whole other set of genetics and mindsets would have survived until now. It's not even personal choice it's just what survived and what didn't.

Seathrun66

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119602029#Comment_119602029

Twenty-five years ago. She’s since only interested in younger men. And why not? It’s no business of yours to cast judgement on the adult relationship choices of her or anyone else and it’s more than a little tawdry of you to do so.

growleaves

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119601838#Comment_119601838

Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more

Greyfox

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119601412#Comment_119601412

Yes people in their 20's can be eejits and some are pretty smart. We don't know much about the women he dates, they could all be intelligent, mature and fully capable of making decisions for themselves.

FishOnABike

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119601838#Comment_119601838

Does anybody love anybody anyway...

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119605304#Comment_119605304

No

Potential-Monke

From what I've read of him, he's still a lad who likes to do lad things. And he can afford to be one. Just because he hasn't settled down and "grown up". Yes, women* do start to think about settling down around then, and due to his history when he meets up with someone they know the craic. 19 girlfriends, no children. He's a careful man or he's firing blanks. And at 25 the women still have plenty of time to find someone to settle down with. I'd relate these relationships to people who go travelling in their early 20s before returning to settle down. It's the same thing, but on a far grander scale. There's also months upon months where they wouldn't see each other due to filming and advertising.

I'm 39 and I still believe I have more in common with 20-somethings than my own age. I'm a gamer with no interest in drinking, sports or nature. Show me all the women of my age who are similar, available and don't want or have kids. Not saying I go out and pick up young wans like Leo, I don't. I can't. I can't pull anyone except myself, but I don't have the power, money and historical looks of Leo. I'd still rather be a "lad" and do lad things without any monetary or relationship worries if I could afford it, instead I'm working a dead-end job for meagre wages and nothing to show for 20+ years of working. Still not technically a grown-up apparantly though. Leo's life sounds nicer.

Very few people buy the brown bananas, most go for the green.

Jaysus, it has really become cool and the norm to insult women - without any objection from the "reverse muh genders" lot.

Women aren't pieces of fruit, PM.

Also WHERE did you get the notion that 20-somethings aren't interested in drink?

Count Dracula

19 girlfriends, no children. He's a careful man or he's firing blanks.

Or he is not firing at all ?

more likely imo

daithi7

Has anyone considered that maybe these women just 'keep him young', and he keeps them in the lifestyle & reflected spotlight that they probably crave.

It's a mutual win- win relationship while it lasts, and the only ones who seem to be getting upset about it are a bunch of overly noisy, nosey, interfering , angry feminists.

Which is another reason I like Di Caprio tbh, to p1ss off that many angry feminists while living your life the way you & those close to you like is a work of sheer genius!! :)))

Sardonicat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119605947#Comment_119605947

They're not doing a very good job of keeping him young.

growleaves

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119607312#Comment_119607312

His party, beer and cocaine lifestyle seems to be aging him. There are photos of him looking overweight between films.