Were you bullied at any stage of your life?

Sunny Disposition

Also, I think workplace bullying was absolutely rampant until the 90s, but people were powerless to do anything at all about it. It's different now, thankfully. There'd be huge stigma to being accused of bullying in the workplace.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119515126#Comment_119515126

I agree. Workplace anti bullying campaigns are usually window dressing and box ticking.

It might be more prevalent in some industries and departments though where it is part of the culture.

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119515219#Comment_119515219

very true, im obviously only speaking from my own experiences mainly, so id like to think some industries have a good handle on this, but i suspect a lot of bullying is covert now, but still exists, ive even seen it at managerial level, and heard its rife in some industries, also at that level, service sectors, i.e. call centers etc....

pgj2015

No. good for them as well because I wouldn't let them away with it. I always keep my head down but I cant let something like that go. You cause me trouble and you will get it back in spades.

MayoAreMagic

Some amount in primary school by a guy who had his own issues later in life.

Not so much in second level. Bits of name calling or mocking but I wouldnt consider it bullying as I probably gave a bit back too.

One thing that does annoy me is people misusung the term or pulling the bullying card. They could be acting like a selfish g*bshite or being deliberately sneaky and if someone told them to cop onto themselves they say they are bullying them. It isnt bullying, it is just reality calling. Deep down they know it isnt bullying also, which is really annoying.

PoisonIvyBelle

..

Graces7

Yes. For many years at many times in my long life. The reasons for bullying are many and varied of course. Let anyone try it now and they will regret it. It is a cowardly way to behave as it always victimises someone who is different and who they think will not retaliate.. Accent on "who they think" ...

Potential-Monke

I was probably bullied more than most, from about 5th class into 6th year, and to some degree in adulthood. When I was in 5th class primary, I ended up "fighting" every male in 5th and 6th class. Why? I was short and ginger. That's it. People saw me as an easy target that stands out (roaring red hair when I was younger, and a bowla to boot!). I drew some, but lost most. Continued into secondary school, I was petrified of being put head first into a wheelie bin as was happening around the time. Didn't happen thankfully, but I was in quite a few defensive fights in secondary school too. Again, drew some, lost most but won a few! Every day I'd get the usual verbal taunts from the cool boys and their gang, and then from the trouble boys and their gang, especially the women of them. Spiteful little bitches.

It continued until about half way into 6th year when the lanky cnut behind me was flicking the back of my head calling me names. I had enough at that point, stood up, picked up my table and threw it at him. Sat back down and waited for the teacher to come in so I could be sent to the principal. Was never bullied after that again in school. Think people thought I may have snapped or something. Last few months were peaceful, only ruined by leaving cert stress.

Onto work and the name calling continued, but in the "hah hah I'm only messing" kind of way; disguised bullying. No more physical fights though, just verbal from then on, which, imo, is far worse. Plenty of bullies in plenty of different jobs throwing their weight around. Met a few power tripping sergeants while I was a Garda, but I was able to deal with them at that point.

It's human nature to have a superiority complex. Most people keep it to themselves, but there'll always be those who need to show off how much better they are. That's bullying, just in a different form. I don't let anyone talk to me like that anymore. I call them out on it, and they're so shocked they got called out that it usually resolves the problem. But doesn't happen much anymore. I'm unsocial and work nights, so my interactions with humanity is limited to those I have no choice in working with (a handful), and people I genuinely consider friends or family, so no bullying there. People can go and get fcuked for all I care now.

Strumms

In school hardly ever except once by a teacher in 4th class, we only had the feral little geebag for a year thankfully. A rough year.

Socially never.

in a workplace once… for a reasonable duration of time but it was by a supervisor.. the manager and colleagues were ok with me and the bullying only ever happened when said manager was off on holidays or sick and said supervisor became acting manager. Workload increased by about 40% daily and ALL the more labor intensive / shîtty tasks were assigned to me…

I have it on authority that almost 10 years later he is still a supervisor, which for a 50 or so year old with 25 years experience working there must be a bit grim considering how much ambition he had to enter the management sphere.

The_Kew_Tour

Nothing really much of note in primary but I do remember in second and third years getting hassle from few lads in my year.

Turns out one lad made up lies about me for whatever reason and few believed it. I moved across to England for year after and when came back trouble had stopped.

Generally had great time in school though. Still have great friends for it.

Graces7

Bullying online is so cowardly!

screamer

Yes in secondary school and even by teachers who used to mock me and make a joke out of mispronouncing my name to give the class a laugh. Anyways, I stood up to them and was sent to the head masters office for that. I was 13 then. I got bullied by other kids till 4th year, by which time I had developed a quick wit and sharp tongue and they knew they’d get it back from me if they started. In my experience teachers were useless to help, and when I stood up for myself I got in trouble. Getting hit with a meter stick over my little 4 year old knuckles though, that trumps any bullying in secondary school and is my abiding memory of primary.

Lewis_Benson

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119540431#Comment_119540431

Sorry to hear that happened to you.

That boils my piss.

Mr_Muffin

My advice to anyone being bullied is to let someone know, an adult, teacher etc. If it then doesn't stop, become the predator and attack the bullies whenever you get a chance. No survivors, just full-on attack mode. It's the only language most bullies know.

Strumms

Yep, you need to fight fire with fire.

it’s a more successful tactic then going the whole ‘reporting’ route.

bullying happens on a lot of occasions because it is enabled… by weak / useless / lazy / disinterested managers….

cj maxx

No, one fella in 2nd year tried to bully me but I cut the shite of him so never again.

Count Dracula

I think the sooner you are a victim of bullying the more capable you become of combatting it.

You can never remove bullying from your life without first facing up to bullying, it will not walk away until it feels threatened itself.

Too much emphasis placed on stereotypical school yard bullying. I thinks far too much time is wasted by former victims of bullying who often spend the rest of their lives trying to Police it everywhere they go, Teachers are a prime example of this. I speculate that teachers often end up coercing and isolating bullies, not just because children or teenagers who bully their own generation are fairly obvious to spot. I definitely believe that schools who have tight rules and discipline are often packed with disciplinarians who get a kick on picking on troubled kids who they reckon are fair game.

Bullying is a fact of life, ti exists everywhere.

Motivator

I remember a very tanned lad in our class who came from a piss poor family. He wasn’t Indian, he just had ridiculously Indian like features. He was regularly called a paki etc. by this one fella who was the self appointed hard man of the class. Anyway, the dark skinned chap refused to do PE one day because he had no football boots. The teacher made a smart remark about going to buy a pair and the chap said his parents hadn’t the money. The hard man chimed in and started saying he’d bring a trocaire box for him so he could get a pair of boots. The dark skinned absolutely lost it. Snapped the hard man’s arm by bending it up behind his back with serious force. I can still hear the crack of his arm and the screams that followed.

Graces7

Ah the memories... At Junior school, a gang of nasty " big girls" set upon me in the (outside) toilets... AND PUT HALF A DEAD WASP DOWN MY BACK INSIDE MY CLOTHES.

I screamed so hard they got terrified and ran for help...Life got easier after that.

katiek102010

Yup at work, twice both in the UK.

First time it was atypical nasty take the piss out of the irish girl cause she is irish shite. Some of the stuff was absolutely vile, the ringleader was of Aisan decent and when I and another girl tried to make a complaint, we were laughed at.

Second time, I witnessed something at work, the person was suspended. A few of us then went though absolute hell until a court case was over. The second case was probably more extreme intimidation as opposed to bullying but is still the stuff of nightmares. A part of the court case is still ongoing and probably will be for another year.

I have serious MH issues as a result of what happened. I'm not the only one

Graces7

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119545510#Comment_119545510

Hard if you are eg disabled.. Knowing how to make a formal complaint cogently ... and persevere until they get fed up of you

scudzilla

I was bullied quite a bit when i was in Secondary School, by the same 2 guys who were 3yrs older than me, at that age the 3 yr age difference was huge

Fast forward 15yrs, i'm head doorman of our local nightclub and know how to handle myself pretty well, my brother in law owns a few pubs and was in there late 1 night for a lock in, one of the pricks, Richie, came up to me, all friendly, howya scud, how ya doing, just looked him in the eye and said he had 5 seconds to walk out or i'd put him through a fcukin window, and i would have without a second thought. He left without saying a word to anyone.

Jequ0n

I always get suspicious of the likes of people who seem to get bullied over and over as if it’s a curse they are carrying around.

Motivator

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119546270#Comment_119546270

Why on earth would you be suspicious? It’s usually people who are clearly vulnerable that are bullied repeatedly. I know a girl who has been bullied in every aspect over her life - school, work and now her adult relationship. She’s a very vulnerable person and her confidence has been in shreds for nigh on 20 years. Bullying that takes place at an early age can do irreparable damage to a person. Unfortunately, as thick as bullies usually are they have an amazing ability to seek out what we’d perceive to be weaker people.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119546548#Comment_119546548

I am talking about people who encounter bullies wherever they go. At some stage they’d have to concede that they are the problem, but that will never happen because those types have firmly cemented their victim role.

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119545854#Comment_119545854

Love this, people are unreal, shows how little it impacted them if at all.

Motivator

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119546726#Comment_119546726

So you’re suspicious of someone who might be overweight, or have a stammer, or who have red hair and get bullied due to their appearance wherever they go? To suggest they’re the problem is total shît. What an absolute load of nonsense to suggest they are or might be the problem. It’s this kind of attitude that allows bullying to manifest in school or work places.

If you bothered to actually read what I said properly in my first post, bullies have a ridiculous ability to seek out weaker or vulnerable people. I’ve seen it happen all through my life. I’ve known people who have been bullied at different stages and I can honestly say not one of them have a problem or “are” the problem. Some people just get unlucky in life and the more bullying they encounter, the lower they are on confidence which is like a red rag to a bull when it comes to bullies who seek out their victims.

Graces7

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119545444#Comment_119545444

Depends on the source of the bullying etc. metaphorically speaking; yes. with officialdom, leave no stone unturned and when they go silent... Go higher up the chain.

The whole of 3rd class. Not a pupil but the teacher. She just took a dislike to me. She used to physically and mentally bully me. Telling me I was useless and would amount to nothing. She used to single me out and make me spend my lunches and breaks alone at a desk on my own facing the wall.

She sometimes used to dig her ring into my shoulder.

I was absolutely terrified and far to terrified to tell anyone. When my parents found out my mother had to be restrained from going to the school and killing her. She had retired by then.

Started to pile on weight after that and still to this day I suffer with my weight and anxiety over 25 years later..

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119546803#Comment_119546803

I read your whole post but I didn’t consider the last past part worth commenting on.

The average person does not get bullied wherever they go, continuously, throughout their whole life. If that’s the case for someone then they need to consider why this is happening to them.

You do know the type that I am referring to: the ones who claim bullying via exclusion because their child wasn’t invited to a party, or because they themselves weren’t invited for a work lunch. The ones who can’t deal with any form of criticism (constructive) and withdraw into their victim role. They are the ones that I see with suspicion, not the people who poster their experiences on this thread.