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Were you bullied at any stage of your life?

  • 22-08-2022 5:14pm
    Registered Users Posts: 29,021 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn

    Primary school slightly at times but nothing major. Apart from Junior Infants.(I'm a short guy) a bunch of guys use hold hands and form a circle around me and not leave me out. I don't know how often it happened. It gave me night mares tough.

    Secondary school was worse there was a lot of comments/verbal stuff(about my appearance) and I did isolate myself. Looking back on things tough I think I over thought a lot of comments and wasn't able to deal with situations correctly. (One guy did p*ss on my locker but I he had his ow demons).

    College was the worst. Certain people were fairly nasty mainly in the first term.

    Work was never an issue.

    Were you bullied at any stage of your life?



  • Posts: 0 Mariam Big Tongs

    I was subjected to pretty much constant low level mockery and intimidation from 3rd class to around 3rd year. But it never turned physical.

    I have enrolled my kids (age 4 and 6) in BJJ, to make them 'bullyproof'.

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,185 ✭✭✭Gregor Samsa

    When I was in Senior Infants (late 70s), there was a girl in 5th class who used to bully us. I remember her as being very small and slight, not much bigger than us 6 year olds, but she had a bigger, fatter friend who was her enforcer. She used to make us kneel in front of her and "worship" her, and would pinch us hard and drag us by the hair if we didn't. It really upset me.

    I organised a group of boys from all the JI classes to put a stop her. We surrounded her in the schoolyard one day, in a big ring, and I was just about to make this "you leave us alone you big bully" speech, when she literally stamped her foot, and the posse literally scarpered screaming. So I was left on my own to tell her that she couldn't intimidate us any more, which obviously didn't work as she had just intimidated everyone away. So I got the pinch and hair grab treatment.

    I gave up and told my mother about it. I know she went to the principal about it, but I'm not sure really what happened after that, other than she left us alone.

    My dad's advice on bullying was always "punch them hard in the gut". Only had to do that once, when I was about 9, to some kid who was trying to do the cliché give me your lunch money.

    When I was in first year in secondary school, some kid in 3rd year started trying to intimidate me over the course of the first week or so. He and his mates picked me up one day and put me in through the open window of a locked classroom at lunchtime, then held the window shut, stupid stuff like that. He grabbed me out on the field one day, and I instinctively grabbed him back. and ripped his school shirt clean open and all the buttons popped off one by one onto the grass.The net effect was that all his mates burst out laughing at him, and he never went near me again.

    Other than that, I never had any issues that I couldn't nip right in the bud. Never personally encountered any attempts at bullying at all after about 3rd year in secondary. I have to admit, I have a hard time even visualising what adult bullying would look like, because I just wouldn't tolerate anyone speaking or acting like that to me. Not that I'd get physical or anything, I just wouldn't take it seriously, or I'd walk off. Although I have seen other people I know suffer in their work or other organisations they're involved in, so maybe I've just been lucky. Although I'm a fairly easygoing person and get on with most people in most situations.

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,691 ✭✭✭Furze99

    Couple of lads, brothers - used to give me a hard time in national school. Constant digs into the shoulder with the knuckle but done in a passive aggressive type of way as in 'how are ye' - dig. Funny thing is that even though I detested them, partic the older lad, I was kinda friendly with them, would go around on bikes outside school etc. Great when I got to leave national school though, can still recall the relief and to be shot of the two bastards.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 332 ✭✭NiceFella

    Was never really bullied myself but remember a day in 6th class the biggest bully going in my school got his comuppence. This chap was such a b*ll*x that all the other years knew about him. Tormented everyone and had a small possy of burn out side kicks to help him along. I still see him today and he is in and out of prison so you get the idea, chap was just born bad.

    Anyway, the crazy thing is the guy that sorted him out was one of the nicest laid back chaps in school. Just kept his head down.

    The whole school was lined up before 9 to be picked up by our respective teachers and bully boy slaps a yogurt out of the sound lads hand. Without a moments hesitation he flattened him with a dig. The whole school, literally 100s of people cheering the sound lad on. Bully tries to get back up and sound lad flattens him again. It was epic. Even the teachers who were breaking it up were smirking.

    He was still a bully after but people were not as intimidated by him anymore. Everyone just kept bringing up the fight. Great to see.

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,745 ✭✭✭Aglomerado

    Several times! In primary school by the principal teacher of all people. The other teachers were great and I loved them all. The other kids were grand too. One boy and I used to get into scraps but I gave as good as I got so not bullying as such.

    Successions of b!tches in secondary and almost quit were it not for good friends and teachers who believed in me and encouraged me.

    In my first job by a junior colleague, same level as myself. I had a degree, she did not, so she was always finding fault with everything I did and even sabotaged my work to try and get me fired. (It didn't work).

    Hasn't happened to me in a while now but I've sufficient experience now to not take sh!t from anyone.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,857 ✭✭✭Pissy Missy

    Yup, in primary and secondary school

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,259 ✭✭✭Jequ0n

    No, and I find it strange that so many people seem to get bullied.

  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 21,581 Mod ✭✭✭✭helimachoptor

    Not really, when i was in primary school, a lad a year ahead was kept back, for a few weeks my drink kept going missing, turns out he was stealing it.

    Found him in the act one day (we were at the same table), he pushed me (he was a big lump of a kid) so i picked up the school chair by the legs and smashed him in the face with the back support part.

    Never happened again, principal said next time "use your fists", mid 80s, different time!

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,259 ✭✭✭Jequ0n

    I agree that societal expectations clash with human nature. I also think that some situations which are classified as bullying are no such thing (it’s just a concept that means different things to different people). But maybe that’s just because I have never been on the receiving end of it, so I probably have a very different perspective.

    This doesn’t mean that I condone it btw.

  • Registered Users Posts: 27,703 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78

    part and parcel of my disorder unfortunately.....

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,580 ✭✭✭Greyfox

    I was for a good while in secondary school, sadly bullying still happens in every school in the country, the scumbag bully's don't realise the deep harm that they do. I made the terrible mistake of thinking that fighting back would make things worse.

    Luckily I moved on and forgave myself for not standing up for myself at the time. Once I left school I was never bullied again, I'd almost like to meet a bully now as I'd now be well able to deal with them.

  • Registered Users Posts: 27,703 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,166 ✭✭✭black & white

    1st year secondary school in the south east, mid '70's. A fellow 1st year boarder who was from Mayo used to beat me regularly but he was related to one of the staff so nothing was ever done. I passed through his town 2 years ago and the memories flooded back.

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,580 ✭✭✭Greyfox

    I feel its a little different in the workplace although it does still exist there. Kids are nastier in general and it's a bit harder for schools to catch bully's.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 20,096 ✭✭✭✭yourdeadwright

    I never got bullied but i was lucky because of circumstance, there was several moments through out Primary school & secondary school & my formative years where i recognised that someone ( different people) was trying to bully me, I was always quick to stand my ground or on some occasions turn the tables so the person just left it,

    I was really lucky though as i grow up with older brothers , so at home things where taken off you , & you got a few bumps from them so minor physical altercations where a weekly event so intimidation didn't really scare me at that age, Plus older kids knew i had people looking out for me

    I also had the pleasure of going to a school & having a group of friends there who didn't stand for bullying, Anyone in our circle or outside it would be call out on bullying so in our own year it didn't go on much at all,

    Iv always looked back and thought how lucky i was in that regard because , not only did it mean you were not bullied yourself but also that you would not become a bully,

    One thing i fear most for my own kids is that are not bullied & probably even more importantly they do not become bullies

    I absolutely detest bullies at any age,

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,580 ✭✭✭Greyfox

    It's less common in the workplace and rarely turns physical but when it happens in the workplace its just as bad

  • Registered Users Posts: 16 Raven1221

    At school it happened. I do not clearly remember. I have grow and it did not happens again. Being big or tall is a major advantage.

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,580 ✭✭✭Greyfox

    Most companies offer processes that deal with bullying, by law they have to take bullying very seriously. In my 20 years working ive never spoken to anybody who experienced or witnessed bullying in the workplace. Yes it does happen in the workplace but the form it takes is a bit different.

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,963 ✭✭✭Flaccus

    Secondary school Inter cert class was full of bullies. So went on for 3 years+. And where I lived as a teenager there was one particular bully who bullied a lot of people in the estate for years. I met him later in life and he apologized. He has since died. Never happened once after the age of 15 though. I have never had anyone attempt to bully me in the workplace either.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,293 ✭✭✭Sunny Disposition

    A little bit as a teenager, found it hard.

    An interesting thing now that I think of it is that I've been in positions for nearly all of my adult life where I couldn't be bullied, or at least couldn't be bullied in the way I was at that stage. I did encounter a little bit of workplace bullying as a young man, and I was very unforgiving to the perpetrator even though he genuinely tried to make amends, and I ended up quitting the job a few months later. Maybe I've been protecting myself without even knowing it.