How much to put in for wedding nowadays

Potential-Monke

Yeah, I'm one of those who doesn't give anything at weddings. You're inviting me, if you're only inviting me because you want me to bring money, then don't invite me. I'm not going to stop anyone giving money if they want, but this expectation is crazy.

Dial Hard

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119137293#Comment_119137293

I wouldn't turn up at someone's house with my arms swinging if they invited me for dinner, I wouldn't do it at a wedding either.

HartsHat

I got married in March and the OP's gifts are way OTT.

€150 per individual and €200 per couple was about the standard.

Obviously more from close family and friends but not even siblings were giving 400 or 500.

Xidu

I was using like family of 4 to count. €200 per person. As I heard even kids they still count as a head.

but I guess 200 for a couple makes more sense and maybe 300 for siblings

babyducklings1

Give what you can afford there’s a huge pressure around these events. Perhaps give a gift and money.We got money and presents at our wedding. Looking back the money wasn’t the be all and end all but I treasure the gifts I got crystal, silver cutlery, etc. Perhaps I didn’t appreciate the gifts at the time but now I do and I can tell the kids the things we got for our wedding and I remember who gave us what. I don’t remember who gave us how much money. I wouldn’t rule out thoughtful gifts.

Potential-Monke

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119137345#Comment_119137345

Difference between bringing a bottle of wine or a cake to a dinner vs €200+ on top of travel, hotel and clothing costs* too. Be one thing if it wasn't already costing money to attend.

*If necessary

dil87

Way too much IMO.

This craic of 'covering the meal' is total nonsense. Your an invited guest, a fixed amount as a wedding gift is what it is, doesn't matter if it's in a pub or a 5 star resort, covering your meal is pure rubbish. €200 a wedding is more than enough. If people get sour that you didn't give enough you can remind them that their 'relationship status' update doesn't involve you emptying your wallet to them.

Still stihl waters 3

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119137373#Comment_119137373

The bride to be would want to be deep throating me for the week leading up to the wedding to give them 200 a person

Aglomerado

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119137009#Comment_119137009

+1. One of my cousins got married a few weeks ago, invited 300 got about 180 guests. Big fancy wedding which cost about 50k. I didn't go as I am not close to this cousin, have not seen them since 1998 but sent a nice note and card with my RSVP. No money in it though! (If I was going I'd have put maybe 150 in max).

Cousin was probably relying on better attendance and gifts to pay for the wedding, stories have been filtering back about complaints that aunty Anne 'only' gave a thousand and that brother David got strips torn off him because he didn't hand over the money early enough.

Sad really.

Potential-Monke

Used be that (according to mammy) it would be presents to help the newly married couple furnish after they've moved in to a house together after getting married. Nowadays, couples are already living together and don't need 4 toasters, so people started giving, or some cheeky gits asked for, money instead. No idea where this notion of x amount per head came from.

I do like to laugh at the ones (mostly 'Merica) who give specific gift lists to guests. Would be the quickest No I would ever R.S.V.P. to!

BettyBoo2011

Jeeney, I’m very surprised by the amounts being mentioned on here. Of course it’s entirely up to anyone individually what they do and depends on how close efc

But for me, a gift is really more a token thank you gesture to a wedding couple. I definitely don’t believe in ‘covering cost’ of your meal etc - as others have commented I wouldn’t expect that if invited people to something.

my Norm if we are both going to a wedding is 150quid. I think that’s already a lot of money. Plus all the expense you have of going to wedding. I have a nephews wedding in UK soon and it will cost be 600 between flights and accom and car hire never mind anything else and that’s staying in a crap holiday inn! im giving him a hundred quid sterling as am going to that one on own and am taking into account the cost of going to it.

a gift should be a small gesture of appreciation, not a savings scheme. And in this cost of living crisis think we need to be careful of the spin off effect of things rising. I remember David McWilliams using a good analogy about escalating prices before - he likened it to the Mexican wave at a stadium. If one row stands up, the next one has to also, and so on.. so in my view we can have some influence on keeping some things in check and wedding gifts is certainly one of them. Otherwise everyone in a a family or group starts to feel pressure to ‘match’ even though they shouldn’t..

just my tuppence worth. Don’t put yourself under financial pressure anyways is main thing and enjoy the weddings 😊

Hangdogroad

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058247885/how-much-to-put-in-for-wedding-nowadays

Way too much. 100 each is plenty.

seamus

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119147970#Comment_119147970

I'm not sure what he means by "a family of four". Will all four people be putting in their share, or is it a couple and their two children?

In the latter case, maybe €200 for the brother-in-law (assuming it's his wife's brother), and €100 for anyone else is more than enough.

Always makes me laugh when people bitch and moan about the cost of going to a wedding. If you resent being invited, then just don't go.

murpho999

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119137345#Comment_119137345

So do you turn up for dinner with an envelope with cash in it to cover all expenses of dinner?

Don't think so maybe a bottle of wine, or flowers or chocolates.

If you get invited somewhere you're the guest and you should not be expected to give anything.

This notion of paying hundreds to go to a wedding is a ridiculous idea and seems unique to Ireland.

Been to weddings in Holland and €50 would be considered a generous present there.

Xidu

OP here I am glad people think my budget is too high.

decided to put in €300 for 2 cousins wedding.

€500 for 2 brother in laws.

I wanna give a bit more to brother in law. As both are living in another country.

they arranged their wedding in Ireland, so they need to fly back for the wedding.

just wanna contribute some as between flights and wedding it must cost them a lot.

Dial Hard

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119148104#Comment_119148104

Of course not, I bring a bottle of wine or dessert. I was replying to someone saying they don't give wedding gifts full stop.

murpho999

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119148236#Comment_119148236

Why do you worry about what it's costing them?

They decided to have their wedding in Ireland, it may be costing them so they want it and can most likely therefore afford it.

Why do you think you're responsible for the costs?

murpho999

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119148421#Comment_119148421

I also wouldnt' go to a wedding empty handed but at the same time I don't believe there should be an expectation on someone to bring a present to a wedding or there should be a certain amount required.

It's just wrong.

Xidu

Good question

I always gIve myself some strange responsibility to pay for others meal, give my old iPhones iPads to my neighbors kids.

I don’t know why. They say could be a personality of always wanna please others.

hayse

As the country is going into recession something from Lidl isle will suffice. A microwave or slow cooker. Get their married life off healthy.

AMKC

If you mean give someone then I think €100 is more than enough.

I used to only give 50 Euro.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119148236#Comment_119148236

Why? That's way too much.

Pauliedragon

Maybe people should stick a box in the corner where people can put an envelope with cash anonymously and give the card separately. That way no one needs to be embarrassed if they can only give a small amount.

BrianD3

Jesus Christ. The amounts being talked about in this thread are insane. All men should be avoiding weddings and everything to do with them. Unless he is actually making money from the morons i.e. is a photographer etc.

Fat bastard hotel owners are laughing their heads off at all of this. Charge whatever the market can take - after all, the guests will, having consulted with strangers on the Internet on how much is socially acceptable to give, "cover" the costs. Then serve up muck dinners as people will be too drunk to even notice.

Pauliedragon

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119152932#Comment_119152932

They're my thoughts about weddings nicely summed up right there BD3. Complete racket. Lived in Oz for years weddings over at 10pm beer and wine covered so no wallet needed (unless u didn't like what was on offer) people who wanted to keep going headed out elsewhere. None of this 2 day stuff.

rob316

An wedding invite is like an invoice. I generally only go to the afters, 50 quid into an envelope and I can enjoy myself without having to suffer boring speeches and food I don't want.

If myself and wife are going to a full wedding €150-€200 is more than enough for a couple. If you've spent ridiculous money on a day in a hotel that's your own problem, don't expect the people you invited to cover it.

rob316

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119152932#Comment_119152932

As my cousin said to me. "Imagine you go into a hotel on sunday for 3 course lunch with your family, its €30 per head", "then go over to the manager and ask him if I brought 200 people down here how much a head could you do it for" Manager says €80 and your left scratching your head.

neenam

Have a sister + kiwi partner flying over from New Zealand to get married in Ireland, along with new baby in tow later this year. Will give cash + was considering a voucher for dinner, etc. to have something nice to do while they're here in their free time, or else a digital voucher for something when they return to nz. No physical gift as they'd only have to lug it back in their bags.

I know some people are saying that their choices shouldn't dictate whether if and how much people should give, and I agree to some extent. I saw an invite where post-wedding venue was back at the couple's home - in that instance I don't think I wouldn't give much.

But I just feel if they're putting a lot of expense (not due to splashing out on lavish venue or huge guest numbers), I feel it would contribute towards alleviating the cost, even if it's only a amount that one can afford.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119152781#Comment_119152781

That's a great idea!

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119153943#Comment_119153943

I see what you mean. But their choice. I don't want to come across as scabby. It's a great idea about a meal. I hop you'll go with them. Company is far more important.