Spousal abuse

AckwelFoley

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118434000#Comment_118434000

No, it doesn't help the debate but equally it's not an excuse either.

I know a man that had a massive scar down the front of his forehead. I learnt years later how he got it. He used to enjoy beating the snot out of his wife. The wife's father was waiting for him behind the door when he came home one day and split him over the head with the poker from the fireplace, and said, you wont touch my daughter again.

Not sure how their marriage was after that, but I have it on good authority that he never hit her again.

Alot of these people are bullies. Why are they like this, perhaps its what they see growing up, bit often it's not

The new mini doc on Netflix about the Manhattan torso murders in the 70s was quite clear that the perpetrator lead quite an unextrodinay upbringing. Very stable household.

I've known children brought up by terrible parents, and abused - one case where her mother would stick her hand to the cooker because the child couldn't pronounce crayon. As a parent myself I can't imagine what sort of sick fxuk you need to do that. I do know that none of the family that grew up and had children themselves never were in any way inclined to behave in a similar fashion

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118434112#Comment_118434112

I’m not arguing this to excuse anyone. Why should I do that? It’s not my problem.

The example you offered is a good one though. Personally I wonder more about people who stay in abusive relationships when they have people in their lives who could help them get out of it. Why would the woman want to stay married to someone who beat her, even after he (seemingly) stopped going it? Those are the ones who can’t be helped by any campaign, or who are likely to end up in another abusive relationship after they eventually get dumped.

osarusan

Some people really are just evil by nature though.

AckwelFoley

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118434193#Comment_118434193

It's not as simple as that. Apart from the absolute stripping of one's self worth there's often children involved and finances. It's one of these examples where it's much easier said than done.

It's easier now than 30 or 40 years ago but still not easy. Some victims feel ashamed

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118434424#Comment_118434424

What you are listing are complications, not road blocks. Some will also use them as excuses why they “can’t” leave, some won’t. If they don’t want to leave they won’t, and nobody can do anything about it.

Don’t you think that there are people out there who end up in one bad relationship after the other, because they are so used to a personality type that they gravitate towards them?

AckwelFoley

https://m.independent.ie/irish-news/i-was-so-terrified-of-my-abusive-ex-says-husband-thrown-out-of-home-41221372.html

33% of victims of abuse are male. Yet only.1 percent of funding is allocated to them