Ghosted after a few good dates

YellowLead

kowloon wrote: »

Not trying to argue anything, but is there a source for that?

There’s no real studies I can find, just opinion articles, that at more women want relationships. Lots though on men being more open to causal sex (and therefore I would argue that can make it harder for women because they need to determine if that’s all a guy wants from them or more)
https://www.google.ie/amp/s/verilymag.com/.amp/2015/10/men-women-casual-sex-differences

YellowLead

Lesalare wrote: »

I found about 90% of blokes on Tinder lie about their age. Esp. in their late 40's.
It's so stupid because it's as obvious as dog's balls they are lying. Why bother?!

Yep it’s annoying for sure. But you hear from loads of guys that women use filters or old photos and show up looking quite different. So I guess both genders have things to contend with

Lesalare

YellowLead wrote: »

Yep it’s annoying for sure. But you hear from loads of guys that women use filters or old photos and show up looking quite different. So I guess both genders have things to contend with

As a woman, I don't know why the girls do this either. I've used pics from a few years back but I know I still look the same. If I didn't I'd not use them and expect to be disappointed when the guy shows up to meet a totally different person. That's just setting myself up for the fall.

I'd never use filters or such. I don't know why people bother. Maybe they just want an ego kick and have no major intentions in meeting in person. Or are just stupid.

When I see filters I just swipe left.

Lesalare

Deleted User wrote: »

When I see filters I just swipe left.

You aren't tempted by a woman in her 30's with a cute bunny nose and ears? Or trying to resemble a fish?

()

Lesalare

Lesalare wrote: »

You aren't tempted by a woman in her 30's with a cute bunny nose and ears? Or trying to resemble a fish?

()

Well, if she's wearing those bunny ears for real...

Lesalare

Deleted User wrote: »

Well, if she's wearing those bunny ears for real...

I think we both know those aren't the ones I am talking about... :D

sassyj

There are men using those bunny etc filters too in their 40s! F##king bunny ears on grown ups, (both men and women) what is the problem. Also, the tongue out pics, spare me.

Re the age thing, you see profiles that say X age, but their profiles say I'm actually XX age (only a few years older) "can't change this"
They are either really stupid and haven't considered that they could always delete and set up another profile, or alternatively they are trying to get in your age filter brackets by shaving a couple of years, hmmm (who doesn't know their DOB) .

YellowLead

sassyj wrote: »

There are men using those bunny etc filters too in their 40s! F##king bunny ears on grown ups, (both men and women) what is the problem. Also, the tongue out pics, spare me.

Re the age thing, you see profiles that say X age, but their profiles say I'm actually XX age (only a few years older) "can't change this"
They are either really stupid and haven't considered that they could always delete and set up another profile, or alternatively they are trying to get in your age filter brackets by shaving a couple of years, hmmm (who doesn't know their DOB) .

I’ve done this as an experiment on one app. I’ll prob change it back soon. Not a massive lie - I’m 36 and I confess this in my profile but I show up as 35. And yes this is to get past filters a lot of guys my own age have.

Thankfully I’ve never come across a single male profile with bunny ears etc.and I’m on 3 apps.

Mr.Sir

Filters won’t do much in real life for you. Showcase yourself for who you are. Forget the nonsense of stuffing socks down the jocks or toilet tissue in the bras.

YellowLead

Mr.Sir wrote: »

Filters won’t do much in real life for you. Showcase yourself for who you are. Forget the nonsense of stuffing socks down the jocks or toilet tissue in the bras.

Yeah I don’t understand why people do filters or use old photos. It’s just going to piss people off if you show up 3 stone heavier than your photo and 5 years older. I’d be so worried about the other person going like wtf? I wonder does it work sometimes, because you hear of it happening so often. Maybe people think somebody will be so hard up for a ride they’ll forgive and forget.

Mr.Sir

Would it not be difficult in getting the horn when the filters don’t match the real life?

YellowLead

Mr.Sir wrote: »

Would it not be difficult in getting the horn when the filters don’t match the real life?

You’d think! I just don’t know why people do it - it must work sometimes! I make sure to put one unflattering pic up so there are deffo no surprises.

Lesalare

sassyj wrote: »

Re the age thing, you see profiles that say X age, but their profiles say I'm actually XX age (only a few years older) "can't change this"
They are either really stupid and haven't considered that they could always delete and set up another profile, or alternatively they are trying to get in your age filter brackets by shaving a couple of years, hmmm (who doesn't know their DOB) .

Yeah the eternal 'Oh I have my age wrong on FB so I can't change it on Tinder'.... Just create a new Tinder account using your phone.

Odd. And just comes across really stupid.

raclle

sassyj wrote: »

There are men using those bunny etc filters too in their 40s! F##king bunny ears on grown ups, (both men and women) what is the problem. Also, the tongue out pics, spare me.

The jumping in the air pics is another one

Ms. Newbie18

YellowLead wrote: »

Thankfully I’ve never come across a single male profile with bunny ears etc.and I’m on 3 apps.

Do you see a lot of the same people across the 3 apps? I have only ever used one at a time (as do my female friends) but know a few men that use multiple apps at once.

Segotias

YellowLead wrote: »

You’d think! I just don’t know why people do it - it must work sometimes! I make sure to put one unflattering pic up so there are deffo no surprises.

I did this too, changed up the pictures and especially included full length ones so there was no change or any catfishing or only showing good sides.

I never use filters, they're too obvious, blurry etc.

Oh and I agree with you on women being able to instigate casual sex as more men are willing. Whereas men have the control on relationships as women tend to be looking for that rather than a casual hook up. This is all from personal experience

YellowLead

Ms. Newbie18 wrote: »

Do you see a lot of the same people across the 3 apps? I have only ever used one at a time (as do my female friends) but know a few men that use multiple apps at once.

A lot of the same and a lot of variations too! I think most people I speak to are using more than one. Though I pause profiles depending on if I am dating somebody.
And with hinge for example I don’t go in and browse, just check out any likes that come in when I get a notification. I don’t really like bumble so I have a profile but don’t use it super often.

the beer revolu

Friend of mine was on a date before Covid.
Meal in a pub. Over dinner, she asked about kids.

He said that his plan was to not have kids as he'd had a vasectomy.
She stated that they had nothing else to talk about and left without finishing her meal or offering to pay for it.

It was as if she was extremely angry - that he had wasted her time!
Nice of her to show her true colours early on, I guess.

yourdeadwright

the beer revolu wrote: »

Friend of mine was on a date before Covid.
Meal in a pub. Over dinner, she asked about kids.

He said that his plan was to not have kids as he'd had a vasectomy.
She stated that they had nothing else to talk about and left without finishing her meal or offering to pay for it.

It was as if she was extremely angry - that he had wasted her time!
Nice of her to show her true colours early on, I guess.

Never ever go on a first date for Dinner , so many reason why and this is one of them , Left sitting there like a twonk even when she was the one who has issue's


People should be thought this stuff ,
Go meet up to grab a coffee, if it goes well then next time go for drinks ,
If not your done and home within 20 minutes also makes you look like you are not that desperate

yourdeadwright

yourdeadwright wrote: »

Never ever go on a first date for Dinner , so many reason why and this is one of them , Left sitting there like a twonk even when she was the one who has issue's


People should be thought this stuff ,
Go meet up to grab a coffee, if it goes well then next time go for drinks ,
If not your done and home within 20 minutes also makes you look like you are not that desperate

I go for a pint as a first date, usually. I miss the old days...

raclle

Anymore suggestions for first dates besides coffee?

I was ever the traditionalist for dinner and drinks

yourdeadwright

raclle wrote: »

Anymore suggestions for first dates besides coffee?

I was ever the traditionalist for dinner and drinks

I'm a long time out of the game so to speak but going for dinner on a first date is crazy if you ask me especially if its off an app and you literally have never meet, its should be way more relaxed than that ,


A coffee ,a walk something that can be cut short in a none rude way is the best bet,


Always say you mite not like the person your on the date with but always be as nice a pie , who knows when you meet that person again or someone who knows that person , costs nothing to be nice ,


Iv have of course gone for drinks and there's nothing wrong with that either
I just think going for drinks can be like a confidence crutch for people ,
Plus some ladies look completely different during the day than a night out so you get to see that side first ,

Lesalare

raclle wrote: »

Anymore suggestions for first dates besides coffee?

I was ever the traditionalist for dinner and drinks

A coffee to me is not a 'date', it's an interview.
People should keep coffee to business meetings.

Lesalare

Deleted User wrote: »

I go for a pint as a first date, usually. I miss the old days...

Me too. I would be very hesitant to go on a lunchtime meeting over coffee. I like the notion of making a date a bit more of an occasion. If I don't get on with the fella, I'll still sit and make and effort to chat and a laugh over a few drinks then politely leave after a few hours. It's rarely happened I have had to do this - maybe once in 14 or so dates over the years. I only remember one date where I realised the second I met him there would be no spark, but we sat and chatted about stuff for a few hours. Didn't see him again and politely told him I wasn't keen to. Just because you don't have a spark does't mean they aren't worthy of your time. We are all human beings.

I don't believe in 'vetting' if someone is 'worth' going on an evening date by meeting them first. Generally I'll suss out if we get on ok, on phone for a convo and if it feels right I'll meet them for a drink on a weekend night. If something comes of it, great, if not no big deal.

Lesalare

Lesalare wrote: »

Me too. I would be very hesitant to go on a lunchtime meeting over coffee.

I swear, if I go on another coffee date in Stephen's Green...

There's no craic to be had on coffee.

Lesalare

Deleted User wrote: »

I swear, if I go on another coffee date in Stephen's Green...

There's no craic to be had on coffee.

I'd seriously not bother doing this. It's just not my bag.

I think it's a very Irish thing to meet for coffee. I was part of a women's group a while back who said they always meet for a coffee first during their lunchtime or such to see if the fella is 'worth the effort to given up a Fri or Sat eve for'...

Smacks of arrogance a tad to me. But horses for courses etc.

Think it's a bit of a younger thing maybe too. Become the norm now.

Lesalare

Lesalare wrote: »

I'd seriously not bother doing this. It's just not my bag. Horses for courses etc.

I'm the eternal optimist, I keep thinking I'll meet someone I hit it off with.

A glutton for punishment.

Lesalare

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm the eternal optimist, I keep thinking I'll meet someone I hit it off with.

A glutton for punishment.

I'm pretty picky in advance about who I meet for a date (or did pre covid). I've found it's worked quite well as I've not really had any disastrous ones.

raclle

I live in a big town but not many people available around here according to the apps so most dates for me are 20-40 miles away so a drink which I'd prefer wouldn't be feasible and I don't like coffee or I can watch them drink it