Ruining a wedding

The J Stands for Jay

worded wrote: »

I heard about wedding where the photographer was the X of the bride.
It didnt ruin the wedding but must have been arkward

Was the what of the bride?

The Mighty Quinn

Lewis_Benson wrote: »

Yep,
Get the young lad with no experience to do it.

16 year old me was that young lad with no experience who did many dirty jobs in hotels! :pac::o:D

odyssey06

McGaggs wrote: »

Was the what of the bride?

I presume the ex of the bride.
Rather than someone who filmed an x rated video of her...

NickNickleby

odyssey06 wrote: »

I presume the ex of the bride.
Rather than someone who filmed an x rated video of her...

Yes, but surely the second option would be more in keeping with the thread title :pac:

Ave Sodalis

Collie D wrote:

I’ll regret this but could you clarify? Colostomy or...I actually don’t know what.

Or stoma... not entirely sure. There may not even have been a bag. This was judged based entirely on quantity, consistency and where it ended up. The person was long gone, never told anyone, and just left the contents all over the bathroom. And when I say all over, I mean all over.

Tow

I once attended the wedding of a pair of our cultural cousins. There were about 40-50 at the church service, so not the huge affair you sometimes hear about. I was told that the bride was from a lower class in their culture, so the powers that be did not approve of the wedding. There is also a lot of pre and post story, due to their chaotic lifestyle. In order to keep the PC brigade happy I will not go into it, except to say the marriage ended up much like the wedding.

The day of the wedding was fine and sunny. And it started off much like any other wedding. Outside the church I was introduced to all the extended family and thanked for coming. When the bride arrived we all went into the church. Some of the women were stunners, but their outfits would be more in keeping with sunning on a beach than inside a church. The service started and I was sitting near the front. About half way through I heard some noise and noticed there were less people in the church. This continued and soon the only people left were the celebrants, priest, singer, two little old dears and a settled couple, who were also invited. When the service finished we all walked out of the church. It transpired that someone had arrived with a few slabs of beer and it was too much a temptation for the congregation. The priest said nothing throughout the whole service, but the look on his face when he came out said a lot. Finally the two old dears came out and the look on their faces could kill. One of them proclaimed they were "All a F***ing Disgrace'. Then she saw whom I assume was the 'Boss Man' and started on him. The sight of the little old dear taking on a big fellow, probably 5 times her size was greeted with great amusement by the other attendees. All with a fag in one hand and a tin in the other. I was invited to the afters, but politely declined.

Seth Brundle

Turfcutter wrote: »

I was at a wedding ceremony where the priest clearly had an axe to grind about the descending morals he was witnessing.

I was my mates best man. At his wedding, the priest started the sermon with the following: "a third of marriages end in divorce". You could hear the gasps from the congregation.
There was a co-celebrant priest who kept winking at me. The groomsman was cracking up trying not to laugh. I was stunned and didn't know where to look. Talking to the bride's family afterwards, apparently he did that to loads of fellas but never went further than that (thankfully)

worded

worded wrote: »

I heard about wedding where the photographer was the X of the bride.
It didnt ruin the wedding but must have been arkward

Kerry wedding by any chance? Been to one of those - maybe its a thing.

BattleCorp

Ave Sodalis wrote: »

Technically, they're supposed to have a haz waste specialist team in. Speaking from experience though, staff do it.

:pac::pac::pac:

Haz waste specialist team. Is that the new name for the lowest paid person on staff, often someone under 18?

PhilOssophy

BattleCorp wrote: »

:pac::pac::pac:

Haz waste specialist team. Is that the new name for the lowest paid person on staff, often someone under 18?

Its a great way of promoting a "stay in school, go to college" message for somebody under 18!

NickNickleby

2nd hand from work, but both the groom and best man worked in my building and both confirmed it...(in less than glowing terms by the groom)

Dublin guy and Kerry girl. Wedding in Kerry. Best man's speech ends with "... and for anyone interested, I'm in room 205 tonight. Not YOU Father!".

Apparently you could have heard a pin drop. Eejit.

rn

Know your audience... Would have been hilarious in 5th year round 1997.

NickNickleby

rn wrote: »

Know your audience... Would have been hilarious in 5th year round 1997.

Funnily enough, if memory serves me correctly, it WAS the late 90's. Certainly no later than 02.

PhilOssophy

NickNickleby wrote: »

Funnily enough, if memory serves me correctly, it WAS the late 90's. Certainly no later than 02.

I think it still wouldn't go down well at a wedding. Maybe in another generation!

The J Stands for Jay

odyssey06 wrote: »

I presume the ex of the bride.
Rather than someone who filmed an x rated video of her...

D'oh, I was thinking of a variable 'x'....

NickNickleby

PhilOssophy wrote: »

I think it still wouldn't go down well at a wedding. Maybe in another generation!

I was going to say "well here's an even worse one.." but actually I think the priest one is actually wayyyy beyond offensive, my next one is just classless - to the extreme...

Well known wedding venue, about 300 guests, a wedding planner's dream - every extra accoutrement you can dream up is on show. presents for the guests (ffs) etc...
Best man stands up to talk about what a 'lad' the groom is. Great hurler, great buddy and great gas in the pub. Sure one night he closed down a local nightclub (won't name it, but well known in a large county town). We're all mystified as to how he managed this, then after appropriate pause he goes on to say that the groom was in said nightclub and the toilets were full, so he dropped his 'kacks' (yes he used that word), and and then sat on a washbasin and did the business. At this point the audience is divided between people sitting jaws agape and a table of yer man's cronies guffawing manically. Best man says how all hell broke loose and the toilets were closed and the place evacuated by the bouncers. "and that's how Shamey closed down nighthawks* one Saturday night" . I knew the brides family and was mortified for them. I can't imagine the wedding video gets shown too often, or else its a case of judicious use of the FF button.

its probably telling , that I can't remember anything else he might have said, nor any of the other speeches.


*makey-up name for obvious reasons.

PhilOssophy

NickNickleby wrote: »

I was going to say "well here's an even worse one.." but actually I think the priest one is actually wayyyy beyond offensive, my next one is just classless - to the extreme...

Well known wedding venue, about 300 guests, a wedding planner's dream - every extra accoutrement you can dream up is on show. presents for the guests (ffs) etc...
Best man stands up to talk about what a 'lad' the groom is. Great hurler, great buddy and great gas in the pub. Sure one night he closed down a local nightclub (won't name it, but well known in a large county town). We're all mystified as to how he managed this, then after appropriate pause he goes on to say that the groom was in said nightclub and the toilets were full, so he dropped his 'kacks' (yes he used that word), and and then sat on a washbasin and did the business. At this point the audience is divided between people sitting jaws agape and a table of yer man's cronies guffawing manically. Best man says how all hell broke loose and the toilets were closed and the place evacuated by the bouncers. "and that's how Shamey closed down nighthawks* one Saturday night" . I knew the brides family and was mortified for them. I can't imagine the wedding video gets shown too often, or else its a case of judicious use of the FF button.

its probably telling , that I can't remember anything else he might have said, nor any of the other speeches.


*makey-up name for obvious reasons.

Yeah, there needs to be a "shut-off" on a wedding microphone, controlled by somebody sensible!

How could a best-man have thought that was appropriate....cringe.

Motivator

I heard of a wedding where the best man stood up to do his speech, talked about how great the groom was etc and how lucky he was to be marrying such a great girl. The groom stood up and punched the best man in the face. He caught the best man cheating with the new bride a few weeks before but decided to push it aside and press on with the wedding anyway. With all the stress and pressure out of the way, when he heard the speech it really dawned on him what happened. Hit him a slap, told his parents what happened and walked out of the room. Aside from wrecking a new marriage, the best man’s marriage also broke down as his wife was at a table no more than 20 foot away from the top table.

the beer revolu

Motivator wrote: »

I heard of a wedding where .

Another one!

Count Down

I was at a wedding where the so-called 'best man', in his speech told the joke about the rabbit and the lettuce, only he substituted the bride for the rabbit in the joke.
There was an embarrassing silence among the 70 or so guests, until a ripple of nervous laughter broke out and the groom managed to say a few words, changing the subject. The bride's mother nearly killed him afterwards.
It was buttock-clenching stuff to say the least.....

Leg End Reject

Count Down wrote: »

I was at a wedding where the so-called 'best man', in his speech told the joke about the rabbit and the lettuce, only he substituted the bride for the rabbit in the joke.
There was an embarrassing silence among the 70 or so guests, until a ripple of nervous laughter broke out and the groom managed to say a few words, changing the subject. The bride's mother nearly killed him afterwards.
It was buttock-clenching stuff to say the least.....

I don't know that one so you'll have to give details!

Count Down

Count Down wrote: »

I was at a wedding where the so-called 'best man', in his speech told the joke about the rabbit and the lettuce, only he substituted the bride for the rabbit in the joke.
There was an embarrassing silence among the 70 or so guests, until a ripple of nervous laughter broke out and the groom managed to say a few words, changing the subject. The bride's mother nearly killed him afterwards.
It was buttock-clenching stuff to say the least.....

Oh! The rabbit and Lettuce joke, nah, never heard of it, and strangely neither has wabbit, but he's all ears ^^^

Mister Vain

Motivator wrote: »

I heard of a wedding where the best man stood up to do his speech, talked about how great the groom was etc and how lucky he was to be marrying such a great girl. The groom stood up and punched the best man in the face. He caught the best man cheating with the new bride a few weeks before but decided to push it aside and press on with the wedding anyway. With all the stress and pressure out of the way, when he heard the speech it really dawned on him what happened. Hit him a slap, told his parents what happened and walked out of the room. Aside from wrecking a new marriage, the best man’s marriage also broke down as his wife was at a table no more than 20 foot away from the top table.

Jasus he would have needed some patience to wait that long to deck him.

Wabbit Ears

Deleted User wrote: »

Oh! The rabbit and Lettuce joke, nah, never heard of it, and strangely neither has wabbit, but he's all ears ^^^

My ears are burning

whitey1

Back in the mid 90s it was a common practice to put disposable cameras on all the tables during the reception

Upskirting and photos of people passed out from drink were the order of the day

Many’s an aul wan got the shock of her life when she went to the pharmacy to pick up the photos

Purple Mountain

Motivator wrote: »

I heard of a wedding where the best man stood up to do his speech, talked about how great the groom was etc and how lucky he was to be marrying such a great girl. The groom stood up and punched the best man in the face. He caught the best man cheating with the new bride a few weeks before but decided to push it aside and press on with the wedding anyway. With all the stress and pressure out of the way, when he heard the speech it really dawned on him what happened. Hit him a slap, told his parents what happened and walked out of the room. Aside from wrecking a new marriage, the best man’s marriage also broke down as his wife was at a table no more than 20 foot away from the top table.

I'd assume that's easily verified with the wedding video?

sabat

Tow wrote: »

I once attended the wedding of a pair of our cultural cousins. There were about 40-50 at the church service, so not the huge affair you sometimes hear about. I was told that the bride was from a lower class in their culture, so the powers that be did not approve of the wedding. There is also a lot of pre and post story, due to their chaotic lifestyle. In order to keep the PC brigade happy I will not go into it, except to say the marriage ended up much like the wedding.

The day of the wedding was fine and sunny. And it started off much like any other wedding. Outside the church I was introduced to all the extended family and thanked for coming. When the bride arrived we all went into the church. Some of the women were stunners, but their outfits would be more in keeping with sunning on a beach than inside a church. The service started and I was sitting near the front. About half way through I heard some noise and noticed there were less people in the church. This continued and soon the only people left were the celebrants, priest, singer, two little old dears and a settled couple, who were also invited. When the service finished we all walked out of the church. It transpired that someone had arrived with a few slabs of beer and it was too much a temptation for the congregation. The priest said nothing throughout the whole service, but the look on his face when he came out said a lot. Finally the two old dears came out and the look on their faces could kill. One of them proclaimed they were "All a F***ing Disgrace'. Then she saw whom I assume was the 'Boss Man' and started on him. The sight of the little old dear taking on a big fellow, probably 5 times her size was greeted with great amusement by the other attendees. All with a fag in one hand and a tin in the other. I was invited to the afters, but politely declined.

Talking about traveller weddings, in Rathkeale half of those huge affairs you see with the Cinderella dresses and coach etc don't even end up having the actual church ceremony. The parish priest got so fed up of being left waiting for an hour or longer for the groom and his family to leave the pub that he introduced a strict policy of walking off after half an hour or 45 minutes and just had the couple call over to the parochial house later for a blessing.

pgj2015

sabat wrote: »

Talking about traveller weddings, in Rathkeale half of those huge affairs you see with the Cinderella dresses and coach etc don't even end up having the actual church ceremony. The parish priest got so fed up of being left waiting for an hour or longer for the groom and his family to leave the pub that he introduced a strict policy of walking off after half an hour or 45 minutes and just had the couple call over to the parochial house later for a blessing.

I saw that before on gypsy weddings, it was a christening and they were 3 hours late, they were wondering where the priest was then when they turned up.

Pawwed Rig

pgj2015 wrote: »

I saw that before on gypsy weddings, it was a christening and they were 3 hours late, they were wondering where the priest was then when they turned up.

When we got our little one christened there was another child being done on the same day. We were all sitting in the church on 1 side (about 30 of us) and the other family had just the Dad and the baby. The priest said he had to start as he had a funeral after this so couldn't wait. 10 minutes later Godmother arrived in a catsuit. Halfway through the mother finally arrived. It was at the end that the Godfather finally got there. After it was all over we were leaving the church and there were still people sauntering in from the other family looking shellshocked. Missed the whole thing.


edit not travellers btw

hoodie6029

My dad had an old Daimler and back in the mid 2000's my brother decided to volunteer to use it as the bride's transport at two of his friends weddings.

The car was never driven more than a few miles at a time by our Dad up to then.

Brother on the way to the first wedding and the car overheats and leaves him on the side of the stilllorgan dualler on a Friday morning! Bride ends up getting a taxi to the church and reception as I recall.

Needless to say, it wasn't used at the second wedding he'd volunteered for. Stressful for all involved to say the least.