Liveline Lockdown: a second squirt will keep dat scrolling finger safe.

Atlantic Dawn

Voting after the vote so to speak, makes our voting machines seem like a good idea.

Could they not have used a jaysus pin or password on them.

ButtersSuki

ButtersSuki wrote: »

Any chance wan a me pomes would get an airing?

75 Minutes
75 minutes, 4 days a week,
I yearn for misery, I prey on the week,
75 minutes, searching for tears,
75 minutes, for too many years.

For 75 minutes, I spoke to a nurse from ICU,
I listened intently, then went for a poo,
I sat there listening to her huff and puff,
I almost let out “give up yer auld guff”.

For 75 minutes, her beauriful cries were so faint,
Like tears on a statue, from a cheap auld tin a red paint.
I often tink ta meself “yer some f’ing chancer”,
Then I tink of de fees, and de thought of some cancer.

For 75 minutes, I listened to her tears,
I make more in a month than she does in a year.
I don’t feel guilty, I’m one of Noel Kelly’s
Watch out for me buke, or me face on de telly.



Fittingly so to speak, I wroted dat on de toilet. Had I more time I would have wroted more.

Dat was unhygienic. Yer done cud be full of Covid, Norovirus, Campylobacter, E Coli, Clostridium Difficile an all dat.

Flukey

ButtersSuki wrote: »

Any chance wan a me pomes would get an airing?

75 Minutes
75 minutes, 4 days a week,
I yearn for misery, I prey on the week,
75 minutes, searching for tears,
75 minutes, for too many years.

For 75 minutes, I spoke to a nurse from ICU,
I listened intently, then went for a poo,
I sat there listening to her huff and puff,
I almost let out “give up yer auld guff”.

For 75 minutes, her beauriful cries were so faint,
Like tears on a statue, from a cheap auld tin a red paint.
I often tink ta meself “yer some f’ing chancer”,
Then I tink of de fees, and de thought of some cancer.

For 75 minutes, I listened to her tears,
I make more in a month than she does in a year.
I don’t feel guilty, I’m one of Noel Kelly’s
Watch out for me buke, or me face on de telly.



Fittingly so to speak, I wroted dat on de toilet. Had I more time I would have wroted more.

A few weeks too late for the 2020 Nobel Prize for Literature, but we can submit it for next year.

sligojoek

Potty humour, so to speak.

Atlantic Dawn

Joe about to get freaked.

sligojoek

Joe trying to get him to day he'd vote Sinn Fein.


Bingo. He said it as I was typing.

Are there no Irish people who want to talk about anything?

The price of butter has gone shockin so it is.

imme

Why doesn't the super intelligent Shinner move to America.

Dan Jaman

Bonus DEATH for Joe - right out of the blue.

Flukey

"My husband hadn't been well..."

Joe's ears perked up.

"He passed away..."

Joe is raring to go.

Atlantic Dawn

CNN is the exact opposite of Fox, between the two of them RussiaToday would be a better choice for balance.

Roger_007

Deleted User wrote: »

Are there no Irish people who want to talk about anything?

The price of butter has gone shockin so it is.

Especially when you have a lot of parsnips to butter?

Dan Jaman

Flukey wrote: »

"My husband hadn't been well..."

Joe's ears perked up.

"He passed away..."

Joe is raring to go.

... and oddly, totally fumbled the ball, letting it roll down the gutter and into the drain.
It's all this International News Reporting that's blunted his reflexes.
He's like an old Silverback now. Sniffing the bushes for interesting scents, but too feeble to ward off competition.

Roger_007

Roger_007 wrote: »

Especially when you have a lot of parsnips to butter?

Don't get me started on the price of parsnips.

Dan Jaman

Deleted User wrote: »

Don't get me started on the price of parsnips.

Mmm... deep fried parsnips.

Atlantic Dawn

No dole in US, if you sit on your hole you don't get a free forever home.

Test For Echo

Dan Jaman wrote: »

Mmm... deep fried parsnips.

Never heard of dat. Curried parsnips

Orwellmerchant

What a horrible accent

PieOhMy

Joe on the eye pad again I think.

Getting kissed all over de face by de cat

PieOhMy

Orwellmerchant wrote: »

What a horrible accent

Joe hasnt had any complaints caller!

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

Getting kissed all over de face by de cat

Grab the pussy by the... Err...

[Deleted User]

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Grab the pussy by the... Err...

He's been fixed so to speak, but de cute furry sacks are still intact.

sligojoek

Nearly as quiet as a funny Friday here

cozar

the only reason some of these callers are on is that they caught a plane to the USA and never returned.

tupenny

Right?

dvcireland

it was on youtube Joe

Test For Echo

Are all of Joe's new listeners in America?

Jordan 199

Test For Echo wrote: »

Are all of Joe's new listeners in America?

New York to Californy

Flukey

Dan Jaman wrote: »

... and oddly, totally fumbled the ball, letting it roll down the gutter and into the drain.
It's all this International News Reporting that's blunted his reflexes.
He's like an old Silverback now. Sniffing the bushes for interesting scents, but too feeble to ward off competition.

Couldn't believe it myself. An open goal and he didn't even take a shot. He's not finished yet. I think it was a one-off. I am sure he'll be back to full form soon.