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Masturbation

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    #182
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,040 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    There will be plenty of fireworks at the stroke of midnight.


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    #183
    McGinniesta
    Registered Users Posts: 4,402 ✭✭✭McGinniesta


    I woke up this morning with a horn on me that could have pulverised reinforced concrete.

    She wouldn't ride me or suck me off and this horn was going nowhere.

    I had an amazing ****. Best one in ages.


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    #184
    Kylta
    Registered Users Posts: 15,457 ✭✭✭✭Kylta


    We'll just empty my sack for this year


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    #185
    I Am The Law
    Registered Users Posts: 657 ✭✭✭I Am The Law


    I hate the dry ones.


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    #186
    Gael23
    Registered Users Posts: 12,086 ✭✭✭✭Gael23


    I Am The Law wrote: »
    I hate the dry ones.

    Me too but needs must at times


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    #187
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,040 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    Anyone doing the "No Jizz January" like Dave McSavage? :D

    l55szQi.jpg

    pUWTGGD.jpg


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    #188
    CharlieHaghy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 77 ✭✭CharlieHaghy


    I Am The Law wrote: »
    I hate the dry ones.

    65% hand sanitizer is your man. Fine lube.


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    #189
    AndrewJRenko
    Registered Users Posts: 28,424 ✭✭✭✭AndrewJRenko


    Mister Vain wrote: »
    Anyone doing the "No Jizz January" like Dave McSavage? :D
    I can remember when David McSavage used to be funny.


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    #190
    Gael23
    Registered Users Posts: 12,086 ✭✭✭✭Gael23


    CharlieHaghy wrote: »
    65% hand sanitizer is your man. Fine lube.

    Shower gel works too. Have used washing up liquid when I had horns coming out of me but it stings a lot


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    #191
    greenspurs
    Registered Users Posts: 10,253 ✭✭✭✭greenspurs


    Gael23 wrote: »
    Shower gel works too. Have used washing up liquid when I had horns coming out of me but it stings a lot

    :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

    WHAT !!!
    247469249_2017413731748359_7675802031635703098_n.jpg

    "Bright lights and Thunder .................... "



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    #192
    Tig98
    Registered Users Posts: 363 ✭✭Tig98


    Gael23 wrote: »
    Shower gel works too. Have used washing up liquid when I had horns coming out of me but it stings a lot

    Shower gel is hit and miss, would not recommend. If some manages to get inside the urethra, then your piss will burn for a week.


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    #193
    greenspurs
    Registered Users Posts: 10,253 ✭✭✭✭greenspurs


    Coconut paste -
    feels great, and smells great too.
    247469249_2017413731748359_7675802031635703098_n.jpg

    "Bright lights and Thunder .................... "



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    #194
    Gael23
    Registered Users Posts: 12,086 ✭✭✭✭Gael23


    Tig98 wrote: »
    Shower gel is hit and miss, would not recommend. If some manages to get inside the urethra, then your piss will burn for a week.

    What would you use of you had no lube but had a big boner?


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    #195
    greenspurs
    Registered Users Posts: 10,253 ✭✭✭✭greenspurs


    Gael23 wrote: »
    What would you use of you had no lube but had a big boner?
    greenspurs wrote: »
    Coconut paste -
    feels great, and smells great too.

    Can buy in most stores/shops
    247469249_2017413731748359_7675802031635703098_n.jpg

    "Bright lights and Thunder .................... "



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    #196
    CharlieHaghy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 77 ✭✭CharlieHaghy


    Another handy house hold product and found out by accident is 3 in 1 aerial pods. Pop them into a hot cup of water and stir.
    Don’t be starved now and stay away from the Lidl 2 in 1.


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    #197
    Gael23
    Registered Users Posts: 12,086 ✭✭✭✭Gael23


    CharlieHaghy wrote: »
    Another handy house hold product and found out by accident is 3 in 1 aerial pods. Pop them into a hot cup of water and stir.
    Don’t be starved now and stay away from the Lidl 2 in 1.

    Not a good idea. Was sitting on the throne doing my business this morning looking at a nearly full bottle of Cif beside me thinking how would that lube me up


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    #198
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,040 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    Gael23 wrote: »
    Have used washing up liquid when I had horns coming out of me but it stings a lot
    **** while doing the dishes? Impressive multitasking.


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    #199
    chicorytip
    Registered Users Posts: 4,093 ✭✭✭chicorytip


    Bogwoppit wrote: »
    Why do some lads need to use lube? Is it a circumcision thing? Never got the **** sock thing either.
    Yes, it's a circumcision thing.


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    #200
    chicorytip
    Registered Users Posts: 4,093 ✭✭✭chicorytip


    How many of you posters on this thread are over fifty years of age? The male libido tends to fall off a cliff around that time of life. Make good use of those erections while you can.


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    #201
    CharlieHaghy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 77 ✭✭CharlieHaghy


    Did you try finger yourself to get the horn working?


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    #202
    mr.anonymous
    Registered Users Posts: 481 ✭✭mr.anonymous


    This thread is swinging between abstinence to technique recommendations :D

    Is anyone abstaining for January?


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    #203
    Gael23
    Registered Users Posts: 12,086 ✭✭✭✭Gael23


    mr.anonymous wrote: »
    This thread is swinging between abstinence to technique recommendations :D

    Is anyone abstaining for January?


    **** is good for your prostate. It releases all the old juice.


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    #204
    AndrewJRenko
    Registered Users Posts: 28,424 ✭✭✭✭AndrewJRenko


    Gael23 wrote: »
    **** is good for your prostate. It releases all the old juice.

    Though it's not the only way to release the juice.


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    #205
    sligojoek
    Registered Users Posts: 25,420 ✭✭✭✭sligojoek


    Kylta wrote: »
    I really true masterbater can switch hands without missing a stroke, when you have achieved this you will become a really true fully fledged Wanker like me.

    o

    I can change hands and gain a stroke.


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    #206
    Gael23
    Registered Users Posts: 12,086 ✭✭✭✭Gael23


    AndrewJRenko wrote: »
    Though it's not the only way to release the juice.

    Blowjob?


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    #207
    Bogwoppit
    Registered Users Posts: 2,567 ✭✭✭Bogwoppit


    Gael23 wrote: »
    Blowjob?

    Hoover


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    #208
    BrianD3
    Registered Users Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭BrianD3


    AndrewJRenko wrote: »
    Though it's not the only way to release the juice.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-gyGwHiPQM


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    #209
    Gael23
    Registered Users Posts: 12,086 ✭✭✭✭Gael23


    Bogwoppit wrote: »
    Hoover
    How do you explain to your Mrs when her hoover is covered in a warm white liquid?


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    #210
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Gael23 wrote: »
    How do you explain to your Mrs when her hoover is covered in a warm white liquid?

    You give the hoover a money shot?

    That's hardcore


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    #211
    Gael23
    Registered Users Posts: 12,086 ✭✭✭✭Gael23


    Niner leprauchan wrote: »
    You give the hoover a money shot?

    That's hardcore

    So jizz into the carpet and have herself blow a fuse?


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