Aoibheann Ni Shuilleabhain Harassment Story

tobefrank321

Rose of Tralee is harmless stuff at the end of the summer.

I could be the odd one out here but I like watching and listening to lovely girls and would rather watch that than Fair City or reruns of Finding Joy or one of the other Huberman vehicles.

Its been a springboard for a few women now to a career on television, so nothing wrong with it really.

Donald Trump

LiquidZeb wrote: »

Sexism and misogyny in third level institutions is to blame. These campuses bestow an almost king like ego in male professors and lecturers. They think they have their pick of the litter so to speak. He was rejected and like so many men the only way he could cope was not to and lashed out at the Target of his obsession. This attitude needs to end as this could quickly have become a murder case.

Was the bolded bit reported anywhere? I think the original complaint/issue was very strong and serious on its own merits without needing any additional hyperbole. Maybe it was reported. I am open to correction



From what was reported it painted the impression that he was pestering her and wouldn't take no for an answer even after being told to f-off and being reported to HR - not that he "lashed out"

walshb

ThewhiteJesus wrote: »

Well it kept her in the limelight as i'm sure most people had never heard of her before, or after until this.
I'm sure we'll see her ALOT over the coming weeks now though

You seem a little irked that a well known person is having her horrific story told..

She is well known in Ireland. What does it matter? Her story is still very very serious..she absolutely suffered. Does it matter that she is well known?

This story absolutely will bring this type behaviour to the light..

It has......and it usually takes someone well known to make these issues become real..heard, listened to.

MrStuffins

ThewhiteJesus wrote: »

Well it kept her in the limelight as i'm sure most people had never heard of her before, or after until this.
I'm sure we'll see her ALOT over the coming weeks now though

You sound delusional mate! What kind of person would read a story about a woman being harassed for two years and then put the blame on her because she was on two episodes of The Panel in 2002? Pathetic!

Errashareesh

ThewhiteJesus wrote: »

Well it kept her in the limelight as i'm sure most people had never heard of her before, or after until this.
I'm sure we'll see her ALOT over the coming weeks now though

Yeah downplaying her experience because of having some half-baked issue with her... is really not a good look.

irishblessing

walshb wrote: »

You seem a little irked that a well known person is having her horrific story told..

She is well known in Ireland. What does it matter? Her story is still very very serious..she absolutely suffered. Does it matter that she is well known?

This story absolutely will bring this type behaviour to the light..

It has......and it usually takes someone well known to make these issues become real..heard, listened to.

Totally agreed, and fair play to her- she has gotten some positive change to come from it. Hopefully she saved someone else from enduring what she had to.

UCD President Professor Andrew Deeks has apologised to assistant professor Aoibhinn Ní Shúilleabháin and said the college is implementing a range of new and revised measures to address harassment in the workplace.

https://www.rte.ie/news/ireland/2020/0906/1163575-aoibhinn-ni-shuilleabhain/

IAMAMORON

HR across the board should have better procedures in place to help staff being harassed. It is such an edgy subject however and most workplaces are terrified of broaching it.

But everyone knows the difference between " I like your hair it really suits you" to " crikey Melinda, you luck sooooo sexy in that skirt, mmmmm" .

For starters.

Regrettably the way things are going the days of casual flattery are over. Which is a pity. It is always a classic " Miss Moneypenny" scenario, some women want the flirting banter off certain staff members and yet do not want it off others. The very nature of it means that as a rule staff should be not bothering with it at all. Just get on with your jobs and your work. If you want to have a flirt find somewhere else to do it.

I have seen it work in other ways also. Groups of women in work can be lethal when they get going, you are into gang politics then. I was at the wrong end of it for a few years, very nasty all things considered and very undeserved.

southstar

LiquidZeb wrote: »

Broader appeal in objectifying women and reducing them to lovely little ladies putting on a show.

Ye do a fair job in objectifying yourself... judges audience and participants...almost dirty dim aul yokels..but that's all allowed in your entitled bubble..must feel great in there

Gregor Samsa

irishblessing wrote: »

People not directly involved/have no experience in something like this often talk a similar big game. However in reality most people are not willing to get involved, think you should sweep it under the carpet, think you're overreacting, think you've "misunderstood" the situation, and worst of all- think it's something women have always gone through and can just keep enduring. They think ruining a man's career or reputation is always a step too far instead of holding him accountable for his own behaviour and consequences.

This is so true. I won't go into the details, but I once had to phone a paedophile relative to warn him not to attend family events (no violence was threatened), so that one of his (grown up) victims could attend them without having to deal with the recurring nightmare of him turning up at them.

When other family members found out, their reaction was "You can't do that! You can't stop him from going to family events!" instead of shunning him, even though they knew what he had done. These would be people who would regularly talk the tough talk about what they'd do to someone if they could get their hands on them, and yet when it presented itself right in their family, they couldn't even support the fact that he shouldn't show up to a child's birthday party.

rosser44

ThewhiteJesus wrote: »

Well it kept her in the limelight as i'm sure most people had never heard of her before, or after until this.
I'm sure we'll see her ALOT over the coming weeks now though

You really should talk to someone about your anger issues with women before we're reading about you in the paper

LiquidZeb

Donald Trump wrote: »

Was the bolded bit reported anywhere? I think the original complaint/issue was very strong and serious on its own merits without needing any additional hyperbole. Maybe it was reported. I am open to correction



From what was reported it painted the impression that he was pestering her and wouldn't take no for an answer even after being told to f-off and being reported to HR - not that he "lashed out"

I don't mean lash out physically I mean emotionally. He was clearly obsessed with her though the ****ing creep

LiquidZeb

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

This is so true. I won't go into the details, but I once had to phone a paedophile relative to warn him not to attend family events (no violence was threatened), so that one of his (grown up) victims could attend them without having to deal with the recurring nightmare of him turning up at them.

When other family members found out, their reaction was "You can't do that! You can't stop him from going to family events!" instead of shunning him, even though they knew what he had done. These would be people who would regularly talk the tough talk about what they'd do to someone if they could get their hands on them, and yet when it presented itself right in their family, they couldn't even support the fact that he shouldn't show up to a child's birthday party.

I never put stock in what people say when they say stuff like ' if I met one I'd beat the ****e out of them etc'. It's like if someone gets caught up in a fire or something. They think they'll be the hero, rescuing people and being courageous beyond belief and then they get caught in one and bolt for the exit. It's easy to fantasize, it's another story to have it happen to you. Condolences to your family member.

Mysterypunter

It's a really depressing case, especially when it's written off as horseplay or a bit of fun. It's the complete opposite, maybe not to a Graham Dwyer level, but I'm sure that weirdo had to start somewhere too. The worst about it is that certain people see this kind of behavior as acceptable. And also that it happens so often in all types of settings. Bad apples exist everywhere, but the law is miles behind on this type of thing.

OscarMIlde

strandroad wrote: »

Showing up at her house or physically touching her would be another level. Not diminishing what she went through of course but there is a lot more that could have happened, not that the institutions care. My friend was stalked by a fellow student she never willingly spoke to. Apart from accosting and propositioning her he would sneak up on her in the corridor when there were leaving lecture halls just to stroke her back and jump away, or he would make friends and blag his way into their student accommodation to put letters through her door and sit in the lobby for her to see him there early morning and late evening. He was doing it for months but she was completely ignored and told to sort it out between themselves so she endured until she graduated, she had to recruit a few friends to help her get to and from places too.

Not unlike Aoibheann then, who didn't get any meaningful intervention until she sidestepped the University process and went to the guards.

irishblessing

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

This is so true. I won't go into the details, but I once had to phone a paedophile relative to warn him not to attend family events (no violence was threatened), so that one of his (grown up) victims could attend them without having to deal with the recurring nightmare of him turning up at them.

When other family members found out, their reaction was "You can't do that! You can't stop him from going to family events!" instead of shunning him, even though they knew what he had done. These would be people who would regularly talk the tough talk about what they'd do to someone if they could get their hands on them, and yet when it presented itself right in their family, they couldn't even support the fact that he shouldn't show up to a child's birthday party.

Families are desperate altogether and will more often circle the wagons and excuse the behaviour. It's sometimes worse when it happens in families because the victim doesn't have an HR dept to go to. Shunning from the family if the matter isn't dropped is enough to cause huge trauma for taking a stand or silencing a victim.

Guaranteed this lady at UCD has had to endure even more for speaking out and taking a stand. The judgement, the retelling, and the fear of retaliation. As someone with 2 daughters and a few family members having gone through harassment/assault I hope we can change minds and policy faster.

Rubberchikken

HR doesn't care in any setting.
To be willing to be proactive is completely foreign to them.

LiquidZeb

Mysterypunter wrote: »

It's a really depressing case, especially when it's written off as horseplay or a bit of fun. It's the complete opposite, maybe not to a Graham Dwyer level, but I'm sure that weirdo had to start somewhere too. The worst about it is that certain people see this kind of behavior as acceptable. And also that it happens so often in all types of settings. Bad apples exist everywhere, but the law is miles behind on this type of thing.

I think the problem is the stereotype of the creep is some shifty eyed weirdo hanging around the alleyways. In reality it could be the doctor, the teacher, the sports coach, the family member/friend. Right under your nose.

suicide_circus

Rubberchikken wrote: »

HR doesn't care in any setting.
To be willing to be proactive is completely foreign to them.

Anyone i've encountered that works in HR is invariably a snake

Errashareesh

southstar wrote: »

Ye do a fair job in objectifying yourself... judges audience and participants...almost dirty dim aul yokels..but that's all allowed in your entitled bubble..must feel great in there

I don't think LiquidZeb is a woman but I am. And an old skool feminist.

Not quite sure about your phrasing but generally I kind of agree. There are very mixed messages in this regard. E.g. that Cardi B video, the tits and arse fest - it's women choosing it. I'm seeing women say it's empowering (it is in its... arse).

To say that women being on show is entirely down to male demands is inaccurate at best.

Zarco

Apologizing publicly was a crass move from the director or the head of UCD

jmayo

circular flexing wrote: »

I don't think UCD would be abnormal here. Getting rid of tenured professors is almost impossible.

Once told by foreign lecturer there that they would have to rape a student to be fired.
Oh and this was female lecturer speaking.

They couldn't believe how hard it was to fire lecturers in Ireland.
And this was someone that worked in US and couple of places in Europe.

golfball37 wrote: »

NUIG were up to their necks in not treating female employees seriously for years too recently. Is it a problem across the third level sector?

Hey stop firing shyte at NUIG.
The case against them was that some female lecturers were not promoted, not that they buried their heads in the sand to outright harassement and stalking.
And knowing NUIG it is all about politics and connections, male or female.

suicide_circus wrote: »

Anyone i've encountered that works in HR is invariably a snake

A load of people suffer the delusion that HR are there for the employees when everything they ever do is to protect the employer, the management and the connected ones.
And one normal stance is to bury head in sand hoping problems go away.

HR are next to useless usually.

Oh and before anyone dare intimates that UCD HR or anywhere else is an old boys club and protecting guys the majority of HR employees are female in my experience.
BTW UCD has 3 men and 4 women and all bar 2 are directors of some sort or other.
By the looks of it they couldn't direct someone to the jacks.

LiquidZeb

Errashareesh wrote: »

I don't think LiquidZeb is a woman but I am. And an old skool feminist.

Not quite sure about your phrasing but generally I kind of agree. There are very mixed messages in this regard. E.g. that Cardi B video, the tits and arse fest - it's women choosing it. I'm seeing women say it's empowering (it is in its... arse).

To say that women being on show is entirely down to male demands is inaccurate at best.

Just to clarify I'm not a woman. I don't know where the poster you're responding to got that impression from.

Edgware

suicide_circus wrote: »

Anyone i've encountered that works in HR is invariably a snake

Did they see through your dodgy C.V?

Gregor Samsa

suicide_circus wrote: »

Anyone i've encountered that works in HR is invariably a snake

The sole purpose of HR is to protect the company. Anything to do with employee welfare is merely incidental.

Tork

Zarco wrote: »

Apologizing publicly was a crass move from the director or the head of UCD

Crass in what way? I assume some sort of private apology has also been issued to her. This harassment case is such a bad look for UCD's HR dept, they're going to want to kill the story as soon as they can.

two wheels good

Mod,
I gather you corrected the thread title.
What about the fadas?
Come on now. It's the national language . Please make an effort, for the sake of accuracy if nothing else.

If typing the characters is a problem just cut and paste from a newspaper website.
Here .. I'll do it for you.

Aoibhinn Ní Shúilleabháin

Zarco

Tork wrote: »

Crass in what way? I assume some sort of private apology has also been issued to her. This harassment case is such a bad look for UCD's HR dept, they're going to want to kill the story as soon as they can.

It was told to her that he had apologized

Before she received the apology

Gregor Samsa

Tork wrote: »

Crass in what way? I assume some sort of private apology has also been issued to her.

The private apology came after the public apology (according to her tweets). That’s crass.

Wombatman

LiquidZeb wrote: »

Just to clarify I'm not a woman. I don't know where the poster you're responding to got that impression from.

What difference does it make? Reading this thread you would think the problem is exclusively a 'women's issue'.

Plenty of men experience unwanted advances, harassment and stalking from work colleagues.

Zarco

Wombatman wrote: »

What difference does it make? Reading this thread you would think the problem is exclusively a 'women's issue'.

Plenty of men experience unwanted advances, harassment and stalking from work colleagues.

I'd say the ratio would be like 100 to 1 female to male