Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Aoibheann Ni Shuilleabhain Harassment Story

Options
12467…16

Comments

  • Options
    #92
    strandroad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,676 ✭✭✭strandroad


    walshb wrote: »
    What?

    Lower level? it went in for two years. She was genuinely fearful..

    What would mid and higher level be like, so?

    If what she experienced is lower level, then I’d hate to think what higher level is like..

    Showing up at her house or physically touching her would be another level. Not diminishing what she went through of course but there is a lot more that could have happened, not that the institutions care. My friend was stalked by a fellow student she never willingly spoke to. Apart from accosting and propositioning her he would sneak up on her in the corridor when there were leaving lecture halls just to stroke her back and jump away, or he would make friends and blag his way into their student accommodation to put letters through her door and sit in the lobby for her to see him there early morning and late evening. He was doing it for months but she was completely ignored and told to sort it out between themselves so she endured until she graduated, she had to recruit a few friends to help her get to and from places too.


  • Options
    #93
    LiquidZeb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,254 ✭✭✭LiquidZeb


    Thomas Hudson wrote: »
    In your rush to 'protect' women you're actually extremely patronising towards them.

    Whilst making the assumption that I was a jealous 300lb feminist is the height of respect.


  • Options
    #94
    MrStuffins
    Registered Users Posts: 19,148 ✭✭✭✭MrStuffins


    strandroad wrote: »
    Not diminishing what she went through of course but there is a lot more that could have happened.

    But that's the thing. Saying "Well, at least she wasn't sexually assaulted" IS diminishing what she went through.

    Her account of what happened sounds very very like the beginning of a story that could have ended very tragically had she not gone to the police. That should not be used as an excuse to diminish her experience.


  • Options
    #95
    ThewhiteJesus
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,714 ✭✭✭ThewhiteJesus


    Thomas Hudson wrote: »
    In your rush to 'protect' women you're actually extremely patronising towards them.

    mmmm 26 posts in and already baiting other posters pointlessly.


  • Options
    #96
    LiquidZeb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,254 ✭✭✭LiquidZeb


    ThewhiteJesus wrote: »
    mmmm 26 posts in and already baiting other posters pointlessly.

    Must be a slow day on 4chan so he slithered on here for a lark.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #97
    strandroad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,676 ✭✭✭strandroad


    MrStuffins wrote: »
    But that's the thing. Saying "Well, at least she wasn't sexually assaulted" IS diminishing what she went through.

    Her account of what happened sounds very very like the beginning of a story that could have ended very tragically had she not gone to the police. That should not be used as an excuse to diminish her experience.

    Oh of course. What I meant is that her experience was institutionally ignored and so are others even if they are further on the scale. I witnessed how terrifying it was for my friend and how helpless she was.


  • Options
    #98
    Charles Babbage
    Registered Users Posts: 5,476 ✭✭✭Charles Babbage


    chicorytip wrote: »
    Well, consistent sexual or physical assault, inappropriate comments or other lewd sort of behaviour, stalking, rumour mongering or outright bullying conducted over a prolonged period.
    If the victim in this incident were, say, a cleaner rather than a fairly high profile academic we would not be having this discussion because the matter would not get any publicity.


    There is some truth in this. Because of her profile Ní Shúilleabháin was not in the most vulnerable position. Normally harassment or abuse is carefully directed at vulnerable people, while avoiding anyone who might stand up to the harasser, which is why these characters get away with it for so long. However, it is also notable that even with the prospect of this adverse publicity UCD did not bother acting.


  • Options
    #99
    Thomas Hudson
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 27 ✭Thomas Hudson


    LiquidZeb wrote: »
    Must be a slow day on 4chan so he slithered on here for a lark.

    Easy lad, it's just banter.


  • Options
    #100
    micosoft
    Registered Users Posts: 2,359 ✭✭✭micosoft


    Errashareesh wrote: »
    Yeah and shur she would be delighted with it if he were hot.

    Wait til she's an auld one and not so pretty/trim too - she'll be longing for a bit of "harassment" then!

    No. No she wouldn't. Rise of incel point of view on boards is a bit worrying tbh.


  • Options
    #101
    An Ri rua
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭An Ri rua


    I'm just surprised that society has gone so soft that there weren't numerous acquaintances and friends, or friends of friends, who would hear of the awful torture she was going through, know of where it happened in their own family or circle but they were too young to remedy it, and simply get on with it and resolve the problem.
    People are far too namby pamby these days. Surely someone could have befriended him and taken him for a pint up the Dublin Mountains for a chat? The fauna, the heather,the bogholes, the open space, sure it would clear his head wonderfully and then back for a pint to copper fasten the understanding.

    No, no, I'm not suggesting violence. Sure that's reprehensible.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #102
    micosoft
    Registered Users Posts: 2,359 ✭✭✭micosoft


    Thomas Hudson wrote: »
    Easy lad, it's just banter.

    Yeh. And if it was your sister it wouldn't be so funny. It's time to call out this bull**** because the same lads who think this is funny would lose their mind if it was their sister/daughter/wife.


  • Options
    #103
    An Ri rua
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭An Ri rua


    Charles Babbage wrote: »
    There is some truth in this. Because of her profile Ní Shúilleabháin was not in the most vulnerable position. Normally harassment or abuse is carefully directed at vulnerable people, while avoiding anyone who might stand up to the harasser, which is why these characters get away with it for so long. However, it is also notable that even with the prospect of this adverse publicity UCD did not bother acting.

    Or more likely, as another poster hinted, perhaps he has history and has become brazen due to many successes with undergrads. Time will tell.

    He certainly acted like he could not be touched. Gives credence to perhaps having faced off with a powerless HR before.


  • Options
    #104
    cannotlogin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,172 ✭✭✭cannotlogin


    The fact that he returned to the hotel the following day have been escorted off the premises by Gardai the first time would absolutely scare the hell out of me.

    To me that is a man with no boundaries, no fear, no respect and completely unpredictable. She must have been terrified.

    He followed her to Cork ffs. The unwanted attention and calling to her office is much harder to prove, people may just consider him socially awkward etc., but this guy was full on creeper. The college didn't do enough on this.


  • Options
    #105
    paw patrol
    Registered Users Posts: 2,314 ✭✭✭paw patrol


    LiquidZeb wrote: »
    Why isn't there a men's version of the rose of Tralee then or a male Mary from dungloe?


    Cos nobody would be bothered watching it?


  • Options
    #106
    Errashareesh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 572 ✭✭✭Errashareesh


    micosoft wrote: »
    No. No she wouldn't. Rise of incel point of view on boards is a bit worrying tbh.
    I'm being sarcastic. :)

    Look at the post I was replying to. Going on about her being pretentious and seeking attention.

    Plus, what I posted does get said. Quite a lot. It is honestly great to see how this thread hasn't descended into the usual sh1t-show. Because it can make you feel pretty despair filled when you see that stuff in significant quantities on such threads.

    I actually think there's less of that stuff overall on Boards in particular, than there used to be. Five or six years ago it was unbelievable.


  • Options
    #107
    LiquidZeb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,254 ✭✭✭LiquidZeb


    cannotlogin wrote: »
    The fact that he returned to the hotel the following day have been escorted off the premises by Gardai the first time would absolutely scare the he'll put of me.

    To be that is a man with no boundaries, no fear, no respect and completely unpredictable. She must have been terrified.

    He followed her to Cork ffs. The unwanted attention and calling to her office is much harder to proof, people may just consider Jim's socially awkward etc., but this guy was full on creeper. The college didn't do enough on this.

    Sexism and misogyny in third level institutions is to blame. These campuses bestow an almost king like ego in male professors and lecturers. They think they have their pick of the litter so to speak. He was rejected and like so many men the only way he could cope was not to and lashed out at the Target of his obsession. This attitude needs to end as this could quickly have become a murder case.


  • Options
    #108
    LiquidZeb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,254 ✭✭✭LiquidZeb


    paw patrol wrote: »
    Cos nobody would be bothered watching it?

    Ask yourself why that is.


  • Options
    #109
    strandroad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,676 ✭✭✭strandroad


    Errashareesh wrote: »
    Plus, what I posted does get said. Quite a lot. It is honestly great to see how this thread hasn't descended into the usual sh1t-show. Because it can make you feel pretty despair filled when you see that stuff in significant quantities on such threads.

    I actually think there's less of that stuff overall on Boards in particular, than there used to be. Five or six years ago it was unbelievable.

    If the OP was along the lines of "should universities act on harassment or abuse reports outside of Garda process?" the thread would probably descend into "but it's only her word against his!" straight away, even today.


  • Options
    #110
    Errashareesh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 572 ✭✭✭Errashareesh


    LiquidZeb wrote: »
    Ask yourself why that is.
    More interest in women than men? And that includes women being interested in the dresses etc.

    I don't think there's a sinister reason for that - just how people are wired. I think the Rose of Tralee is silly but I don't correlate the likes of it with predatory behaviour (and I'm fairly feminist). I think that's just down to some people being pieces of sh1t, whatever their environment.


  • Options
    #111
    southstar
    Registered Users Posts: 465 ✭✭southstar


    LiquidZeb wrote: »
    Ask yourself why that is.



    G'wan I give up...


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #112
    LiquidZeb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,254 ✭✭✭LiquidZeb


    strandroad wrote: »
    If the OP was along the lines of "should universities act on harassment or abuse reports outside of Garda process?" the thread would probably descend into "but it's only her word against his!" straight away, even today.

    Exactly it's why so many cases, ones even more extreme than this one go unreported. Many women know they're wasting their breath from the start.


  • Options
    #113
    LiquidZeb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,254 ✭✭✭LiquidZeb


    southstar wrote: »
    G'wan I give up...

    Broader appeal in objectifying women and reducing them to lovely little ladies putting on a show.


  • Options
    #114
    paw patrol
    Registered Users Posts: 2,314 ✭✭✭paw patrol


    LiquidZeb wrote: »
    Ask yourself why that is.


    most of the TV audience I'd guess for rose of tralee are women.
    Most men don't like that type of stuff. So I don't get your angle .

    would women watch a male only pageant - the man from arran 2020 perhaps?
    Women love looking at the outfits the hair etc.
    like wtf would a man wear on one of them shows?

    mens' fashion is less expressive and mostly sh1te.



    Who'd want to watch a load of metrosexuals anyway? ask yourself that.
    People watch other stuff with men , like GAA etc..

    I;m aware a lot of this is stereotype but they are true over a large population.


  • Options
    #115
    ChikiChiki
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,950 ✭✭✭ChikiChiki


    An Ri rua wrote: »
    I'm just surprised that society has gone so soft that there weren't numerous acquaintances and friends, or friends of friends, who would hear of the awful torture she was going through, know of where it happened in their own family or circle but they were too young to remedy it, and simply get on with it and resolve the problem.
    People are far too namby pamby these days. Surely someone could have befriended him and taken him for a pint up the Dublin Mountains for a chat? The fauna, the heather,the bogholes, the open space, sure it would clear his head wonderfully and then back for a pint to copper fasten the understanding.

    No, no, I'm not suggesting violence. Sure that's reprehensible.

    I agree with you. If the action was not forthcoming through the proper channels, and if it was someone close to me I'd have no hesitation in bringing the assailant for a drive as a scare. I'm fairly sure a few buddies would get involved aswell.

    As I mentioned at the start of the thread, I had an issue like this before with an ex being stalked which went on for a month. The fear was something else and the guards didn't really want to listen. Thankfully it went away.

    If it lasted two years I would probably have killed the freak.


  • Options
    #116
    MrStuffins
    Registered Users Posts: 19,148 ✭✭✭✭MrStuffins


    Can we stop talking about the Rose of Tralee?

    It has about as much bearing here as an Irish Dancing competition she might have entered in 1992 or if she went to Oxegen in 2001!


  • Options
    #117
    MrStuffins
    Registered Users Posts: 19,148 ✭✭✭✭MrStuffins


    An Ri rua wrote: »
    Surely someone could have befriended him and taken him for a pint up the Dublin Mountains for a chat? The fauna, the heather,the bogholes, the open space, sure it would clear his head wonderfully and then back for a pint to copper fasten the understanding.

    If it was my sister i'd definitely have brought him for a pint alright! Wouldn't be the last liquid meal he was having either!


  • Options
    #118
    StevenToast
    Registered Users Posts: 3,372 ✭✭✭StevenToast


    TheValeyard wrote: »
    Holy fcuk it sounds like something out of Cape Fear. That poor woman. How she stayed sane in all that ill never know.

    Yes, i agree...how could you stay sane dating ryan tubridy

    "Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining." - Fletcher



  • Options
    #119
    ThewhiteJesus
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,714 ✭✭✭ThewhiteJesus


    StevenToast wrote: »
    Yes, i agree...how could you stay sane dating ryan tubridy

    Well it kept her in the limelight as i'm sure most people had never heard of her before, or after until this.
    I'm sure we'll see her ALOT over the coming weeks now though


  • Options
    #120
    Gregor Samsa
    Registered Users Posts: 8,913 ✭✭✭Gregor Samsa


    StevenToast wrote: »
    Yes, i agree...how could you stay sane dating ryan tubridy

    -10 points. You can't use the same joke twice in the one thread.

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=114542296&postcount=50


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #121
    irishblessing
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 962 ✭✭✭irishblessing


    An Ri rua wrote: »
    I'm just surprised that society has gone so soft that there weren't numerous acquaintances and friends, or friends of friends, who would hear of the awful torture she was going through, know of where it happened in their own family or circle but they were too young to remedy it, and simply get on with it and resolve the problem.
    People are far too namby pamby these days. Surely someone could have befriended him and taken him for a pint up the Dublin Mountains for a chat? The fauna, the heather,the bogholes, the open space, sure it would clear his head wonderfully and then back for a pint to copper fasten the understanding.

    No, no, I'm not suggesting violence. Sure that's reprehensible.

    People not directly involved/have no experience in something like this often talk a similar big game. However in reality most people are not willing to get involved, think you should sweep it under the carpet, think you're overreacting, think you've "misunderstood" the situation, and worst of all- think it's something women have always gone through and can just keep enduring. They think ruining a man's career or reputation is always a step too far instead of holding him accountable for his own behaviour and consequences.
    Beating the guy up wouldn't have made her feel any better about coming into work the following day. May even escalate things. Of course she'd be worried about retaliation. These kinds of comments, no offence, are short sighted.


Advertisement