Partners banned from birth-Mullingar Hospital

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

appledrop wrote: »

How is been present at the birth of your child unnecessary?

Well, will the child not be born if the father isn’t present?

Raconteuse

I don't agree OP - it's no fun of course for either parent but it's not necessary. She'll have all the support she needs. This virus eclipses the need for the dad's presence. It is difficult indeed though. Best to remember the very good reason for it.

Going Demented

I'm due soon. I am taking it as a given i'm going in alone as my husband will need to be the one to stay home mind the others. There's no one else getting into my house right now. Even if my hospital allows in partners he won't be there, he is needed more elsewhere and i most certainly do not want him in the hospital and going home to my others. We all want to stay safe, and if this is the safest way then so be it. Four of mine have been in NICU, this scares me most with more trips to a hospital.

appledrop

shane b wrote: »

All the hospitals have similiar policies at this stage. The coombe unless it's changed in the past few days only allow partners in for the birth, recovery after and that's it. I understand why they have implemented them but it's hard for the families involved.
My wife gave birth to twins by c-section last Friday in the coombe. All went well but i spent less than 2 hrs in the hospital in total which included time in the waiting room, the theatre and the recovery after. This doesnt give any time to bond with your wife or new baby. Once my wife was moved to the ward, I was asked to leave. I didn't see my wife or babies again in the flesh till they were discharged on Tuesday morning.
My wife had to deal with the twins on her own for 4 days. It was emotionally very hard for her as all I could do was listen to her if she rang me. I couldn't even give her a hug.
The doctors were telling she needed to rest and stay off her feet but yet no staff to help do any of the feeding, changing bathing or settling of the babies. She needed to get home to rest where I 've taken a lot of the workload.

That's sounds so tough. I remember it was hard going after I had my little boy cant imagine what twins would be like especially with a c section. Unfortunately the way it has gone now you get very little help after the birth. I remember one of the woman in work being shocked when she found out they dont take the baby's off you at night anymore so you can get some rest.

Hope your all doing better at home.

splinter65

appledrop wrote: »

That's sounds so tough. I remember it was hard going after I had my little boy cant imagine what twins would be like especially with a c section. Unfortunately the way it has gone now you get very little help after the birth. I remember one of the woman in work being shocked when she found out they dont take the baby's off you at night anymore so you can get some rest.

Hope your all doing better at home.

They stopped taking the baby off you at night more than 20 years ago. Unless you or the baby are sick, why would you need or want to be deprecated from your newBorn baby at night?

El_Duderino 09

appledrop wrote: »

As the title says Mullingar Hospitial has banned partners from being present at the birth of their child due to cornavirus.

I know we are in the middle of a crisis but I'm sorry I think this is a step too far. I can understand no visitors etc but this is ridiculous.

At least you have the grace to be sorry for holding such a ridiculous and petty opinion.

It’s tough times for everyone - even women giving birth. There are people who will say goodbye to their relatives who will spend the next week dying in hospital. Without seeing their family again.

Not having a partner at the birth is another sacrifice that’s people need to make during this time.

Bawnmore

My wife is due at the end of May (in a regular hospital, not maternity specific), so we're waiting anxiously to see what the guidelines will be by then. I've been there for both of our children's births before, but however strange it'll be for me not being there, I worry about my wife being alone through it a lot more.

That said, we both understand and fully accept any restrictions put in place as there's obviously a bigger picture that needs to be considered. Is it the perfect way to a bring a baby into the world - nope. Is it necessary - absolutely.

iamwhoiam

Bawnmore wrote: »

My wife is due at the end of May (in a regular hospital, not maternity specific), so we're waiting anxiously to see what the guidelines will be by then. I've been there for both of our children's births before, but however strange it'll be for me not being there, I worry about my wife being alone through it a lot more.

That said, we both understand and fully accept any restrictions put in place as there's obviously a bigger picture that needs to be considered. Is it the perfect way to a bring a baby into the world - nope. Is it necessary - absolutely.

Please dont worry , I gave birth to three kids in the days when the fathers or birthing partners were not allowed in to the birth ,.It was the norm then and we survived and got on with it .,Maybe its not ideal but she will be looked after and will be fine .

TheBoyConor

I think you will be fine. Talk to your parents or grand parents. They will tell you the practice of husbands or partners attending the birth is only a very very recent thing. Up until very recently, the 1990s and certainly the 1980s, when the woman was giving birth the husband would be either at work or in the pub downing pints. It would be almost unheard of for them to be in the delivery room, most wouldn't have wanted to be there anyway.

Vegeta

OP I completely see where you are coming from. I don't see being present as something for me or for emotional support. My wife is due in August and I see my role as primarily overseeing her care during the delivery. I won't be on medication that will impact my judgement, my wife might be. Of course, I certainly don't believe that I know more than medical professionals, but I know they're human and as everyone has mentioned, they are under a lot of pressure.

I have enough friends with negative experiences/anecdotes to feel this was the main reason why anyone would be present with a woman during her delivery. Unnecessary emergency c-section (as admitted by couples consultant), mother very nearly injected twice because chart wasn't read (husband copped it and stopped them), trainees botching stitches requiring follow up procedure and on and on. This is all from close friends not crap we read from Facebook.

This is the whole reason birthing partners (doulas etc.) are becoming a thing here.

So yes I am anxious at the thought of not being allowed in with my wife during the delivery BUT of course I accept the need for any medical facility to control who enters. At the time of writing this 19 people have died, that trumps any argument I could ever make.

michellie

I've had 2 quite bad birth experiences, 2nd one was worse than the first. Any doctor, midwife or public health nurse that looked at my chart commented that I had a rough time.

I would not have been able to cope on my own. I feel anxious at the thought of it or any woman that would have to do it themselves

Oafley Jones

michellie wrote: »

I've had 2 quite bad birth experiences, 2nd one was worse than the first. Any doctor, midwife or public health nurse that looked at my chart commented that I had a rough time.

I would not have been able to cope on my own. I feel anxious at the thought of it or any woman that would have to do it themselves

You’d cope, you simply have to. Conversely, think about it this way. How’d you feel if you didn’t have the doctors or nurses.

LillySV

Cannot for the life of me understand how a mother would want partners/more people allowed into a maternity award and drastically increase the risk of herself and her child getting covid 19 virus ... fuks sake what had happened to this Country that everyone is so needy and entitled. My wife is expecting her first child and had her first scan the other day... didn’t even try to go in with her as totally understand why less people should be going in to hospitals at this present time. According to news this morning , 9 nursing homes and 8 hospitals have clusters of people with covid 19... we all need to play our part here and avoid public places if possible

CIARAN_BOYLE

Remember it's not just your partner it's the other few hundred patients in the hospital adding an extra vector of transmission into the hospital.

Hospitals are locked down of non essential persons and rightly so.

michellie

Oafley Jones wrote: »

You’d cope, you simply have to. Conversely, think about it this way. How’d you feel if you didn’t have the doctors or nurses.

With all due respect you have no idea what I went through. So don't tell me what I would do.

TuringBot47

Maybe ye can have a home birth and ask a good vet to assist.

Rodin

Too much whinging.
Just deal with it.

jrosen

LillySV wrote: »

Cannot for the life of me understand how a mother would want partners/more people allowed into a maternity award and drastically increase the risk of herself and her child getting covid 19 virus ... fuks sake what had happened to this Country that everyone is so needy and entitled. My wife is expecting her first child and had her first scan the other day... didn’t even try to go in with her as totally understand why less people should be going in to hospitals at this present time. According to news this morning , 9 nursing homes and 8 hospitals have clusters of people with covid 19... we all need to play our part here and avoid public places if possible

What has happened with this country is right, that we cant show a little empathy and understanding towards a mother to be.
Most women want their partner with them and thankfully most men feel the same. Is it the end of the world that they cant be? no, but surely they are allowed to be disappointed and upset at this situation too?

eviltwin

michellie wrote: »

With all due respect you have no idea what I went through. So don't tell me what I would do.

You'd have no choice - you'd have to cope.

And with all due respect, there are people in hospital with serious life threatening conditions who don't have the support of a loved one with them. There are people at home worried about loved ones in hospital they may never see again.

I understand why people are upset but this is about saving lives, we all have to make sacrifices.

venusdoom

You said your wife's first pregnancy but I'm presuming from that post you've never experienced a woman giving birth to come out with that statement . I agree with all the people here who said it's not just for support of the mother but to watch what is happening and be an advocate for her. I was left on my own with the heart alarm beeping while the nurse went for tea. Only for my husband found a doctor to check on me, God knows what would have happened my baby as within minutes the doctor had a team of people down to help. I'm due in August and I'm so anxious and worried. It's not needy or entitlement, it's me being genuinely scared of going through birth without a partner with me. But if course I'll accept it if those rules are still in place but it does put added stress on mothers to be.

ANXIOUS

Dj Stiggie wrote: »

So please, tell me again why someone who could be carrying a deadly virus should be allowed into the hospital to stand around?

I think when we are reflecting on what we did right and what we did wrong this will come up.

Initially bringing mild cases into a hospital setting has turned out to be a drastic mistake, they should have been as they are being now treated in their house.

meeeeh

michellie wrote: »

With all due respect you have no idea what I went through. So don't tell me what I would do.

Your experience might gave been unimaginably bad but I doubt it was your partner who provided essential care.

I know of hospitals in other countries that did this weeks ago. Less outside people are present less chance there is hospital staff will get infected and transmit infection to people they are treating. There are cases of babies infected with covid so I really don't think precautions like that are too draconian.

Kalimah

TheBoyConor wrote: »

I think you will be fine. Talk to your parents or grand parents. They will tell you the practice of husbands or partners attending the birth is only a very very recent thing. Up until very recently, the 1990s and certainly the 1980s, when the woman was giving birth the husband would be either at work or in the pub downing pints. It would be almost unheard of for them to be in the delivery room, most wouldn't have wanted to be there anyway.

I had my first in 1989,and two more in the 90s, and my husband was certainly there, and it wasn't unusual even at that time.
The work/pub scenario was more likely in the 60s/70s when my siblings were born.
It's a pity the way things have gone now but what can you do under the circumstances?

TheBoyConor

I'd say it was common practice well into the 1980s for the men to be working or in the pub. For any of my siblings and myself, my father wasn't there. He was working. Neither he nor my mother wanted him there. That is just the way it was in those days. And we all got on fine.
People are just to precious about things these days and feel entitled to special treatment.

blue412

Sleeper12 wrote: »

It was unnecessary for 100s or 1000s of years if fairness. In the grand scheme of things it's still a reasonably modern /new concept.

Such a limited view. Women have had birthing partners (often multiple, usually women like sisters or mothers or even cousins and friends) for as long as women have been having babies. This is absolutely crazy. The OP is right. If the partner has it it is very likely that the mother to be has it too.

And, I also agree that it's not just about being there. This is one of the most vulnerable moments in a woman's life, and we are expected to make decisions that can be life altering - obviously we follow strong medical advice in the situation we find ourselves. But different midwives and doctors have different medical opinions, and that can be hard to follow when in such a vulnerable situation. This is why women still talk about giving birth for the rest of their lives and relive it. it's close to inhumane to ask women to go without a birth partner - considering they probably just left the partners company in the carpark earlier in the day! How about reducing the amount of staff that a birthing mother sees - I saw at least 7 different midwives during my experience. Plus at least three doctors, and that was just in the labour ward. I saw at least another 3 before admitted to the labour ward. And my experience wasn't exceptional (in my opinon anyway). Hopefully they are doing that too. I have every respect for healthcare staff working and the risk to them should be minimised in any way possible. But, just I hope that they're testing people in the weeks coming up to the expected birth and so on, and asking people to self isolate in the weeks coming up to it to minimise risk too.

TheBoyConor

If both mother and father have the covid then it would absolute madness and irresponsible to have both of them present knowing that they are vectors and will be actively shedding virus in the hospital. Sure, PPE can perhaps reduce the risk somewhat but it would be preferable to eliminate the risk by not having the infected partner present in the first place.
It would be reckless to allow an infected person to be swanning around in the delivery ward.

CrabRevolution

Unless the father is the attending midwife or obsetetrician, he's not needed to be present at the birth.

The posters saying "I don't understand this" or "it makes no sense" are just proving why they aren't in charge of making these decisions....

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

michellie wrote: »

I've had 2 quite bad birth experiences, 2nd one was worse than the first. Any doctor, midwife or public health nurse that looked at my chart commented that I had a rough time.

I would not have been able to cope on my own. I feel anxious at the thought of it or any woman that would have to do it themselves

Yes you would have. People don’t know their own strength until they have no choice. Your labour would have continued with or without your husband/partner there.

Midnight Sundance

Honestly some of you are heartless monsters with absolutely zero empathy in your bodies at all!!
It's not a competition for who has it worse! Fact of the matter is these women are disappointed, let them at least have that. They've lost control of every other aspect of their pregnancy and birth.
No matter what story comes out there will always be something worse . Doesnt mean they cant complain or question why it's being done.

This is it

Midnight Sundance wrote: »

Honestly some of you are heartless monsters with absolutely zero empathy in your bodies at all!!
It's not a competition for who has it worse! Fact of the matter is these women are disappointed, let them at least have that. They've lost control of every other aspect of their pregnancy and birth.
No matter what story comes out there will always be something worse . Doesnt mean they cant complain or question why it's being done.

Absolutely, but if you come to boards to complain or question then expect it to be discussed.