Sexual harassment advert

Karede

A woman's lower back is a very sensitive area and touching it is a very intimate move usually made by their partner. Unfortunately it is a common occurrence for women to be touched in this manner by total strangers and most of us hate it!

OP, don't touch people without their permission and you won't have a problem, no matter how "gentle" you are.

Midster

Princess Calla wrote: »

No, but no one male or female should be made feel uncomfortable when they are going about their daily lives.

The whole attitude of "someone touched you, made you uncomfortable, get over it" needs to change.

What exactly is wrong with getting over it?
And why the hell should that change?

Being labeled with a sexual assault charge which encompasses so many different offences that are a lot worse than simply touching someone on the back or the arm, can easily get a person fired from there job, careers can be ended in a flash, and as for getting another job and putting in the criminal charges box on application forms that you’ve been convicted of something like that, forget it!!

That’s your whole life ruined for something that to them might have been meant as a perfectly innocent and friendly gesture, and non sexual.

dancingqueen

Midster wrote: »

What exactly is wrong with getting over it?
And why the hell should that change?

Because it is not acceptable behaviour.

You really seem be taking this ad personally.

And you stink of the "he's an upstanding member of society, he made one mistake" mentality.

mlem123

Midster wrote: »

What exactly is wrong with getting over it?
And why the hell should that change?

Being labeled with a sexual assault charge which encompasses so many different offences that are a lot worse than simply touching someone on the back or the arm, can easily get a person fired from there job, careers can be ended in a flash, and as for getting another job and putting in the criminal charges box on application forms that you’ve been convicted of something like that, forget it!!

That’s your whole life ruined for something that to them might have been meant as a perfectly innocent and friendly gesture, and non sexual.

No one here is advocating that people be prosecuted for this?

Instead of telling women to get over it, why don't people just stop doing stuff like this??

Midster

dancingqueen wrote: »

Are they? The ad isn't just a nice lad coming up and putting his hand on a girl's back. He is a creep, he keeps trying to buy her a drink and she does not want the attention. That's what I got from it.

What I got from the add is it’s an open field day for any woman who doesn’t like a mans approach.

Don’t like what he’s saying, report him

Doesn’t like his body language, report him

Doesn’t like the fact he laid a finger on you, for any reason, report him.

Why don’t we just close all the pubs, ban all social interactions of any kind between male and females, and from this day on only talk to members of the opposite sex online, and then find a way instead to send sperm through the post perhaps.

Have online dads raising there kids then, and have a future we’re the biggest business on the planet is childcare.

If you make people (men especially) to afraid to come over and talk to you because everything they say and do could possibly end up landing them in jail or with a criminal record.

They won’t!!!

And that’s exactly the kind of future we will have.

Princess Calla

Midster wrote: »

What exactly is wrong with getting over it?
And why the hell should that change?

Being labeled with a sexual assault charge which encompasses so many different offences that are a lot worse than simply touching someone on the back or the arm, can easily get a person fired from there job, careers can be ended in a flash, and as for getting another job and putting in the criminal charges box on application forms that you’ve been convicted of something like that, forget it!!

That’s your whole life ruined for something that to them might have been meant as a perfectly innocent and friendly gesture, and non sexual.

Why should we have to get over something that shouldn't have happened in the first place?

It's really simple, keep your hands to yourself.

Follow that rule and you won't ruin your own life by your own actions.

mlem123

Midster wrote: »

But this is exactly what I mean. How is a man for example supposed to know in advance who will perceive a gentle touch on the back for example (not the face, boobs, legs, or bum) as unwanted contact???
Most people are perfectly fine with it, especially in a social environment, but because of an extremely small number of people being so easily offended. That kind of interaction can now be seen as to risky for anyone to even think about.
And then this behaviour, which doesn’t and never has offended the masses then comes to a crashing stop, for everyone, forever.

Someone pointed out that you said this earlier.

I'd say most people let guys get away with it just to not be confrontational so they can get on with their night and away from the creep. Have you tried reasoning with a drunk person? If they don't get the hint and continue I'd catch the eye of a someone behind the bar or a bouncer or a friend to intervene

If you can't chat someone up without touching them stick to online dating.

dancingqueen

Midster wrote: »

What I got from the add is it’s an open field day for any woman who doesn’t like a mans approach.

Don’t like what he’s saying, report him

Doesn’t like his body language, report him

Doesn’t like the fact he laid a finger on you, for any reason, report him.

Why don’t we just close all the pubs, ban all social interactions of any kind between male and females, and from this day on only talk to members of the opposite sex online, and then find a way instead to send sperm through the post perhaps.

Have online dads raising there kids then, and have a future we’re the biggest business on the planet is childcare.

If you make people (men especially) to afraid to come over and talk to you because everything they say and do could possibly end up landing them in jail or with a criminal record.

They won’t!!!

And that’s exactly the kind of future we will have.

You see on TV, they can't show rape. So they show what can start off as rape. If you're not comfortable, it's ok to express that. There are multiple messages in the ad.

You're sensationalising it, and there's no need for it

Dytalus

Midster wrote: »

What I got from the add is it’s an open field day for any woman who doesn’t like a mans approach.

Don’t like what he’s saying, report him

Doesn’t like his body language, report him

Doesn’t like the fact he laid a finger on you, for any reason, report him.

Why don’t we just close all the pubs, ban all social interactions of any kind between male and females, and from this day on only talk to members of the opposite sex online, and then find a way instead to send sperm through the post perhaps.

Have online dads raising there kids then, and have a future we’re the biggest business on the planet is childcare.

If you make people (men especially) to afraid to come over and talk to you because everything they say and do could possibly end up landing them in jail or with a criminal record.

They won’t!!!

And that’s exactly the kind of future we will have.

Good lord what ad did you watch?

He comes over uninvited and touches bare skin. Even if that were okay, she pulls his hand away and expresses verbal disinterest. Then he persists anyway. How you jump from "don't ignore a request not to touch someone" to "DON'T TALK TO WOMEN EVER IT IS THE DEATH OF SOCIETY" is astounding. The ad mentions nothing about criminal proceedings, nothing about arrests.

It just says "this isn't cool, don't do it".

Midster

Midster wrote: »

What exactly is wrong with getting over it?
And why the hell should that change?

Being labeled with a sexual assault charge which encompasses so many different offences that are a lot worse than simply touching someone on the back or the arm, can easily get a person fired from there job, careers can be ended in a flash, and as for getting another job and putting in the criminal charges box on application forms that you’ve been convicted of something like that, forget it!!

That’s your whole life ruined for something that to them might have been meant as a perfectly innocent and friendly gesture, and non sexual.

And where exactly do you get the idea you would be charged with sexual assault?
You won't.
Seems like you really want to take offence here

mlem123

Midster wrote: »

What I got from the add is it’s an open field day for any woman who doesn’t like a mans approach.

Don’t like what he’s saying, report him

Doesn’t like his body language, report him

Doesn’t like the fact he laid a finger on you, for any reason, report him.

Why don’t we just close all the pubs, ban all social interactions of any kind between male and females, and from this day on only talk to members of the opposite sex online, and then find a way instead to send sperm through the post perhaps.

Have online dads raising there kids then, and have a future we’re the biggest business on the planet is childcare.

If you make people (men especially) to afraid to come over and talk to you because everything they say and do could possibly end up landing them in jail or with a criminal record.

They won’t!!!

And that’s exactly the kind of future we will have.

U ok hun? xoxo


Can I suggest tapping a shoulder to get a girls attention? Why does it need to be her lower back?

Midster

Quartzy99 wrote: »

It's quite simple - just don't touch people without their consent. Lots of people are uncomfortable at being touched in any way by strangers, that's their prerogative.

Can I kiss you

Can I hold your hand

Can I touch your leg

Can I touch your breasts

Can I lick your p***y

Can I do this, can I do that, can I do anything at all.

My god, were has the romance gone?

Were has mans initiative gone?

Oops!! Looks like I offended her, I’d better be so humble and pathetic that all women looking think I’m a joke.

There’s no room these days for a man to pursue a woman, no room for a man making the first move either.

cant talk about how pretty she is because she might accuse you of objectifying women.

Can’t talk about her appearance at all

Can’t subtly touch her, even in a non sexual place in a non sexual way

And if it is sexual, hang him high

Ey girls..... yay you won

Midster

mlem123 wrote: »

U ok hun? xoxo


Can I suggest tapping a shoulder to get a girls attention? Why does it need to be her lower back?

It was harmless

And it further raises the fear men have of even approaching a woman at all

Ah OP
you clearly have some sort of problem. Not only do you not understand English, but you seem to be offended that you can't go around touching other people.

Get over it, the advertisement is merely advising you that your weird pervy ways are not always welcome by others.

No-one said anything about arrests, charges, sexual assaults apart from you.

dancingqueen

Midster wrote: »

It was harmless

And it further raises the fear men have of even approaching a woman at all

wrong.

spurious

You forgot 'It's the woman's fault'.

ohnonotgmail

Midster wrote: »

It was harmless

And it further raises the fear men have of even approaching a woman at all

keep your hands off women you haven't even introduced yourself to and you wont have an issue.

listermint

I get what this thread is about.

OP you get what this thread is about.

Women are bad right ? Advances are ok whatever form they take.... Right ?

Your take on the ad and the one you expressed in your opening post are completely at odds to the actual ad.

SusieBlue

Midster wrote: »

It was harmless

And it further raises the fear men have of even approaching a woman at all

If you go up to a stranger & touch them in a sensitive area and offer them a drink, and they respond by removing your hand and refusing the drink, why on earth would your next port of call be to try to touch them again?
Because that's exactly what happened in the ad.

If he had stopped & was apologetic after the initial touch, I think we'd all agree it was poor judgment on his part and not a big deal.
But its the fact that he persists despite her uncomfortableness is what people are taking issue with, that's why it isn't ok.

I would argue that anyone with such a severe lack of self awareness and social skills shouldn't be out in public unsupervised regardless.
There is absolutely no excuse to keep invading another persons space when they've clearly expressed they aren't interested in you.
Their right to not be touched supercedes your right to put your hands on them.
Keep your hands to yourself and you won't have any issus.

Midster

OSI wrote: »

Nowhere in the ad does it say to report any of that behaviour as a crime. It's simply calling people out for being perverts and telling them it's not acceptable to go around touching people that didn't give you permission to do so. But of a persecution complex going on with yourself.

Amazingly enough there are plenty of couples that started a relationship without one of them drunkenly molesting the other in a dark pub.

But in actual fact there are billions more throughout history that have.
And let’s face facts here, someone has to make the first move, what!! You think that person should ask if they can please make the first move??
How about the women out there that don’t want the man to ask permission.

Don’t they get a say

dancingqueen

Midster wrote: »

But in actual fact there are billions more throughout history that have.
And let’s face facts here, someone has to make the first move, what!! You think that person should ask if they can please make the first move??
How about the women out there that don’t want the man to ask permission.

Don’t they get a say

Ah Jesus.

There's something wrong with you

SozBbz

Midster wrote: »

But in actual fact there are billions more throughout history that have.
And let’s face facts here, someone has to make the first move, what!! You think that person should ask if they can please make the first move??
How about the women out there that don’t want the man to ask permission.

Don’t they get a say

Anyway, I'm calling it - lets stop feeding the Troll.

PmMeUrDogs

Midster wrote: »

Can I kiss you

Someone I was briefly seeing did actually ask before he first kissed me. And do you know what? It's definitely not common, it's the first time a bloke has asked. But it was a massive turn on. When it came to the first time having sex, he waited til I made a move. And again, turn on. It's very sexy to know the guy actually gives a sh!t about your comfort and your boundaries.

Another guy gave me a look, so I knew in advance he was going to kiss me, so had time to reject if I wanted.


If you don't understand why some women enjoy that, you've got a lot to learn about women.

B0jangles

OP you seem to be very angry that everyone is telling you that this kind of behaviour is unpleasant and unwelcome, as though people should should just accept this behaviour and put up with it simply because you've decided its fine.

It's like if I decided that a good way to approach strangers at the bar was to walk up and stick my finger in their ear, then got offended and angry that they kept shouting 'f-off ya weirdo' at me.

The entire aim of these scenarios is to convince strangers that you are an attractive and interesting person, a person they'd like to get to know.

The general consensus here is that this behaviour is very very unattractive - you can't browbeat people into thinking a weird and creepy action is attractive no matter how much time you spend complaining that it's actually fine.

Midster

dancingqueen wrote: »

wrong.

First comment or second

dancingqueen

Midster wrote: »

First comment or second

Both. I quoted both.

SusieBlue

monkeysnapper wrote: »

Holy shyte.......

The things that go on in our work place would make your eyes water....

And the women are nearly as bad as the men ....

We have great craic but one day we will be knee deep in the doo doo ...

I even saw a male member of staff kissing a female member on cheek in front of customers...she was ok about it but still...

Myslef and a couple of others worked in larger companies and we all agreed it was a relief that it was so much more relaxed.

We aren't talking about work places where colleagues are friendly and know each other, and its clear that there are good intentions at play.

This is a man cold approaching a woman at a bar, putting his hands on her bare lower back, and persisting with the behaviour when he was asked to stop.
Surely you realise that isn't the same thing as workplace banter between friends?

If you did that to a stranger and she got uncomfortable, would you think that's unreasonable, and insist on continuing to put your hands on her?
I don't think you, or most decent people would. That's what's under disussion here.

Midster

dancingqueen wrote: »

Ah Jesus.

There's something wrong with you

That’s it throw your dummy out the pram cause I made yet another good point

minikin

Why does she have a back if she doesn't want ransomers touching it?