Did you ever go to an escort?

Dr. Bre

I hear tranny escorts are the big thing these days

Alpha_zero

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

I also presumed you were still a virgin, Bertie. Not sure I agree with using the services of a lady of the night to lose it, but I suppose if you’ve hit 35 and it hasn’t happened yet then needs must.

Bro i presumed the same about you!

Deebles McBeebles

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

The car jokes aren’t really working out for ye, lads. They just aren’t funny.

I blame the wording of the title.

ben.schlomo

Problem Of Motivation wrote: »

Mod note - No jokes just one's about cars and the odd one!

What things were you wearing of once you stepped inside the door? Ever come across someone who looked different than in the photo? etc.

Guards haven't come knocking since your last Escort thread op?

NSAman

Bob the Seducer wrote: »

Outside the US, the transmission is normally referred to as the gearbox.

RTE has gearboxes?

Mad_maxx

Those escorts are great goers



Rally circuits full of them

skallywag

Mad_maxx wrote: »

Those escorts are great goers



Rally circuits full of them

Cos she's Worth it?

blinding

Apparently they are supposed to be hired for a drive ?

Took me a while to figure out the car angle. I must need a nap.

Potential-Monke

Yes. Once. Brazilian, and exactly like the picture. It was a birthday present from my mates due to a prolonged period of celibacy.

Turned up, the lads told me it was for an hour (they had some serious notions about my ability to perform after a prolonged period). Granted, I was a bit more overweight. Anyway, greeted me at the door, in lingerie and robe. Brought me in, checked what was ordered. Turned out I was only booked for half an hour. Grand says I. Brought me into the bedroom, single room with a single bed and a wardrobe. Bed clothes were Spongebob, bit weird but not having kids it didn't bother me for long.

Told me to strip, wasted no time trying to put a johnny on a flacid cock but she did and began to orally harden me. Once hard enough, she jumped on top and did her thing. Changed positions around a few times, some awkward movements, working away for 20 minutes or so and realised it's not going to happen. My legs gave out, she tried to finish me off but just wasn't going to happen. Cleaned up, dressed, and left.

It's a cold experience. It doesn't have any of the closeness you would usually find with someone who genuinely wants to ride you for free. No kissing, no real foreplay (which I'm a fan of), and not something I would do again. Maybe.

Tammy!

Nope, never been with an escort. Never felt the need too.

enricoh

A mates younger brother had a pact with a few mates that if they hadnt got laid before the grad night of 6th year they'd get laid off one of the hooker websites.
There was only a few operating in the local town the night they went for it n only one bird answered the phone .
They took it in turns one after the other. Dunno if my mates bro was first or last!
God knows how many yer one fitted in that day. It all seems a bit grim!

skallywag

Medvedev wrote: »

What else is expected? How about an actual funny joke, not a desperate attempt to get likes thinly veiled as a joke.

Have you heard the one about the Rereg?

Sir Osis of Liver.

Worked abroad on sites on the continent for years as a youngster but I couldn't ever bring myself to pay for it.Alot of the Irish lads would jump straight off the work bus on payday and head straight for a hoor.
Preferred to hit the pub and try my luck the legitimate way.Usually failed and ended up pissed.

Don't see anything wrong with paying for it but I'm just too OCD to go where a thousand dirty bastards were before me.

That's just me.

Potential-Monke

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

Don't see anything wrong with paying for it but I'm just too OCD to go where a thousand dirty bastards were before me.

That's just me.

How do you know the one you meet on a night out and take home for some bump and tickle hasn't had a thousand mickies before yours?

PsychoPete

enricoh wrote: »

They took it in turns one after the other. Dunno if my mates bro was first or last!
God knows how many yer one fitted in that day. It all seems a bit grim!

Always go first, you don't want to be stirring the porridge

knockers84

There Naming and shaming anyone in Ireland now these days and gardai are setting up stings and people’s names are getting in the paper. It has become illegal in the last year or two to hire a hooker.

If you do want to get a hooker just get a return trip to Amsterdam for 50 quid. Cheaper than Ireland anyway!!

paleoperson

knockers84 wrote: »

There Naming and shaming anyone in Ireland now these days and gardai are setting up stings and people’s names are getting in the paper. It has become illegal in the last year or two to hire a hooker.

People hire escorts up and down the country every day of the week. Getting arrested and/or named would be like winning the inverse lottery. Who cares if you're single anyway.

I would like to hope that they would only do it if you were behaving in an egregious way. Like how you won't normally get a fine for speeding if you are going 60 kmph on a straight wide road where you should technically be going 50 kmph, but if you're doing it going around a dangerous corner then yes you might be. However, I wouldn't trust them.

knockers84 wrote: »

If you do want to get a hooker just get a return trip to Amsterdam for 50 quid. Cheaper than Ireland anyway!!

Are you joking? That would be a lot more expensive, take a huge amount of time and many people have a major fear of flying (for example me).

the_syco

skallywag wrote: »

Plus, I bet you have never owned an Escort?

No. I owned a hoe, though. Kept it in the shed.

Potential-Monke wrote: »

It's a cold experience.

Agreed. Fcuked one in the 'Dam a decade ago, and it just felt like a business transaction. It didn't help that I went in after smoking all sorts of weed for the previous 5 hours :pac:

Kermit D. Frog

Kermit D. Frog wrote: »

I did. In Western Australia, in a legal brothel. Went in, was greeted by a hostess who rang a doorbell and the available girls all came out in their lingerie and lined up.

I picked a girl, and we went to a room. I had a shower and some mouthwash.

On to the bed, she was naked, started with a massage, when I was hard she slipped a condom on, and into her I went for a few seconds, until my erection failed totally I was that nervous.

She was very nice, chatted, told me to relax and got me hard again, in I went again for a minute, went soft again.

So we took the condom off and just lay in bed having a chat for about 10 mins.

I was 22, had had a few drinks, and was lonely and tempted.

All well and good Kermit, but what are the chances of snow for the winter ahead?

sligojoek

skallywag wrote: »

Have you heard the one about the Rereg?

How much was the VRT?

castletownman

Went to one many moons ago. She was incredible to look it, and I was a nervous wreck. She was giving me OWO at the start and I got "excited" up her nose after only a minute. I thought I was done without getting the full experience, but to be fair to her she was lovely, brushed that incident off as stage fright, and continued on for the rest of the booking. Made me feel like a king!

EmmetSpiceland

castletownman wrote: »

Went to one many moons ago. She was incredible to look it, and I was a nervous wreck. She was giving me OWO at the start and I got "excited" up her nose after only a minute. I thought I was done without getting the full experience, but to be fair to her she was lovely, brushed that incident off as stage fright, and continued on for the rest of the booking. Made me feel like a king!

What’s OWO?

Leg End Reject

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

What’s OWO?

I had to google that, it's oral without, as in without a condom.

Probably not the best idea with someone working as an escort.

bo0li5eumx12kp

Ya'll realize this is actually an illegal activity in Ireland as of 2017?

lol - no concerns about law enforcement?

Please make yourself aware of the legal implications - here.

knockers84

Blake Squeaking Jibe wrote: »

Ya'll realize this is actually an illegal activity in Ireland as of 2017?

lol - no concerns about law enforcement?

Please make yourself aware of the legal implications - here.

U just contradicted yourself from your last post

Problem Of Motivation

Potential-Monke wrote: »

How do you know the one you meet on a night out and take home for some bump and tickle hasn't had a thousand mickies before yours?

Not the same day though.

Problem Of Motivation

knockers84 wrote: »

There Naming and shaming anyone in Ireland now these days and gardai are setting up stings and people’s names are getting in the paper. It has become illegal in the last year or two to hire a hooker.

If you do want to get a hooker just get a return trip to Amsterdam for 50 quid. Cheaper than Ireland anyway!!

That only happened to one fella. Only one fella's name got in the paper. Stop scare mongering. The guards have hardly hacked in to escortsireland.ie!

I can't just up and leave to Amsterdam on my own. What would I tell the parents. I don't believe it's only €50. It's probably more than that.

Problem Of Motivation

Blake Squeaking Jibe wrote: »

Ya'll realize this is actually an illegal activity in Ireland as of 2017?

lol - no concerns about law enforcement?

Please make yourself aware of the legal implications - here.

Oh you're so high and mighty.

knockers84

Problem Of Motivation wrote: »

That only happened to one fella. Only one fella's name got in the paper. Stop scare mongering. The guards have hardly hacked in to escortsireland.ie!

I can't just up and leave to Amsterdam on my own. What would I tell the parents. I don't believe it's only €50. It's probably more than that.

Tell the parents? Are you 12? The way your posting your definitely a virgin